Futanari Bizzare Adventure - Chapter 1

Life. If someone asks it, they will answer the definition of what is life, but if asked a different question then obviously the answer also different. Like, how’s your life? Are you fine? Then it’s not a definition that should be the answer for it. They would say with the various answer that depends on the condition they have. If someone sick, of course, they would say they aren’t fine and currently sick. But there are many kinds of sick: sick of life, sick of relationship, etc.

But life itself can be a contradicting concept.

It also made someone suffer their entire life and don’t want to continue to enjoy or spent their precious time in the world, instead, they just want to die and free from many obstacles that bind them and always restrict their freedom in many ways. So the way to escape from horrible and depressing life is just killing yourself, although suicide is one of the biggest sins that one could commit and the reward for that is getting throw straight to the deepest part of hell.

And someone here just died. Her life ended so fast then she ever thought it would be. Just after finished her date with s.e.x, she surprisingly being hit and killed by a truck. A godly and almighty truck that always sends people to another world, being hated yet worshipped by many, but she didn’t remembers that much about how she died anyway, because it doesn’t matter and not so important to discuss.

All she knows and sees right now just a vast white place. There’s nothing in here, she just standing… n.a.k.e.d… yeah, because she already died and just her soul being sent to here. This place felt foreign for her, of course, because there’s no way someone would ever want and can visit it as they want: since this is a borderline between death and life, this is what they called afterlife, the spiritual realm but the different sections.

She blinked a few times and looking around her.

Which is in surprise, she didn’t shock or anything like any normal reaction people would show. A human-like figure that its entire body covered in white color just feels amusing and smirked when seeing that: its watched from afar until came closer to the woman who currently is confused yet didn’t shocked.

“Hello, you must have a ton of questions that you want to ask, right?”

“Ah, yes. Did I… really died…?”

“Yes, and it’s by a truck. Apparently, the driver who drives it currently tired and he accidentally hit you because of his condition.”

“Died by a truck… it’s a classic way! Why did I die with such cliché and overused way…?”

She suddenly yelling and asking in confusion, which made the human-like figure sweatdrop when seeing the sudden outburst from the human in front of its. Although the white figure looks relieved when knowing this fact because it doesn’t have to be worried about the emotionless person that would be reincarnated or whatever she would get after all of this.

“Okay-okay, calm down. I expect nothing less from you, to suddenly mad because of the way you die? It’s really amusing and funny to think about. But really, don’t be worried, you will not pass onto the real afterlife, you won’t have to go to heaven nor hell: you have a second choice.”

Hearing this made her surprised, she suddenly interested, her eyes widened and lit. You can even see the obvious glittery that came as a special effect around her eyes that dancing freely. It is made by the white human-like figure in front of her, to make it a bit good and have anime vibe from it.

All hail the almighty power of the unknown entity or being from this human-like figure.

The human-like figure just sweatdrops again and gives her a weird look while coughing, to make sure she would follow up everything it would be explained to her. Obviously, the human in front of its doesn’t want to miss any details about her and what comes next, right? Nobody would.

“A second choice? What’s that? From what I’ve been doing in my entire life, I’d like to believe there’s not much good karma that I have and mostly the bad karma that is stocked up. That’s true, isn’t it?”

“…You really optimistic in a weird way, huh? Uhum, but like what you have said—no much good karma stored inside you and that can be veeeery bad. Obviously, you don’t want to go straight to the hell, right?”

“Then, here I am generous enough to let it a slip and give you a gift—or can be said gifts—to make sure you won’t find any problem when receiving your second life in the new world you would be visited.”

“Eh really? I can have something like that?”

“Precisely. You can either accept or reject it, but I assume that you want to have it, right?”

“Of course. Who would stupid enough to reject a free and generous gift from someone? I bet they’re foolish and retard.”

The human-like figure just smirked when heard that, but fortunately, the human in front of it doesn’t see that or it will bring its more trouble. Its don’t want that happen, the best course is to avoid it and give whatever its client wants: satisfy her d.e.s.i.r.e or wishes, give her anything so that she can be happy with the results and may bring her a happy life in her new life.

“Then, I’ll grant you what you want.”

This suddenly made the woman’s attention turned, the eagerness of her showed onto the face, it’s very obvious but she trying to keep herself behave properly in the front of someone who has almighty power or powerful being.

“R-Really…? Then, I want—”

When the woman just about to says anything she wants, the figure stopped it by placing its finger to her lips, made the woman stopped her mouth from talking.

The woman nods her head. She really understood what the figure told about to her. It’s not like she a full-fledged otaku, but at least there’s some stuff from anime and other things that she can understand. Thanks to the internet, she can access anything easily without worrying at all; especially if she wants to access the NSFW content, she already knew the way to do that and it’s common knowledge that been shared by many.

From what she knew, CYOA is referred to Create Your Own Adventure, meaning she/he create their own adventure and do anything they want to it. But there’s also something like Perks or Drawbacks from the CYOA, to make sure the said person doesn’t start their adventure empty-handed: because sometimes the world they would live in will be filled with dangers that lurk around and may come to find them.

Snapping its fingers, two sheets of CYOA suddenly appears when the snapped sound being heard. It’s floating and coming closer to the woman, which is being held and read through of it carefully the contents of the sheets that she currently has right now.

There’s a name written on top of it: Overpowered Isekai CYOA and Head Start CYOA, which makes the woman tilted her head in confusion and raising her hand while trying to ask the figure that standing right in front of her.

“Um… is this the gifts or cheating you talking about? I have to choose something from all of this?”

The figure nods its head and gives her a small smile, although it can’t be seen by her if its smile or not.

“Bingo! For the isekai, I give you 70 points and for Head Start or actually can be called h.e.n.t.a.i CYOA, I give you 24 points and that made you have an easy mode in your new life. I’m not that stupid to give those to every poor soul that managed to enter this place, you know and you’re one of the exceptional. It’s not like I expect anything for you, but that’s the rules that I have to obey because of what I am right now.”

The woman just sweatdrops when hearing the mention of Head Start Meta or h.e.n.t.a.i CYOA, she just laughs dryly as she went to read the contents. There are so many choices she can choose yet she limited to the points given to her, although it’s not a serious problem and couldn’t be troublesome for her.

All she needs to do just pick everything that she needs. She just left the useless ones that she doesn’t need to choose because it would waste any points given to her.

“Good. No need to rush but I think you want to quickly leave this place and enjoy your second life.”

She just snorted and nod her head, trying to pick anything from the CYOAs. There’s no need to rush it and make a mistake or it will be no way to turn back.

——

A few minutes later, approximately 30 minutes after choosing from the CYOAs.

The woman who already choose it then walks closer towards the human-like figure and brings it’s the sheets that already being marked. She already being given a pen or marker to mark everything she needs and must within the points or she has to redo it again. If it exceeds the limit, then she won’t gain anything from it.

The figure just nods its head when seeing the choices and read it thoroughly. These several lists of choices from her.

Head Start Meta CYOA:

Brains F.u.c.k.e.d Out

Reincarnation

P.o.r.n Physics

Normalize

Harem

Waifu

Twice the Waifu

Waifu Harem

F.u.c.kmaids

Sustenance

Health

All of it spends 22 of 24 points. But all of it seems interesting and you can find it only on h.e.n.t.a.i or p.o.r.n, though the objective or her second life one of it is just have s.e.x and have many girls as she wants. Yeah, she is indeed what you called lesbian and proud of it since she has a great trauma because of man. But that will be a story for another time since it will be revealed later and not immediately.

Now, one would be wondered about what kind of perks or drawbacks all of it listed on the above. That’s why the human-like figure just snaps its fingers to make sure the description of each perk or drawbacks imprinted on it.

Brains F.u.c.k.e.d Out: The more you f.u.c.k someone, the more obsessed they get with f.u.c.k.i.n.g you. After about a hundred f.u.c.ks, they’ll be almost unable to focus on anything except f.u.c.k.i.n.g you (or your other lovers) some more. They can still attend to basic needs, but it will be very difficult for them to do anything else. They can recover from this over time (days to months depending on the severity), but will suffer withdrawal until fully recovered.

Reincarnation: Any time you die, you will reincarnate into a new life. You will always be reborn into a species you will enjoy being. If the earth or universe ever ends, you will reincarnate elsewhere. Each time you die, you can choose roughly how much time you want to pass between dying and being reborn (nigh-instantly, a few years, a few decades, a few centuries, etc). You can also choose what gender you wish to be reborn as. You slowly recover memories of your past lives as you grow.

S.e.x.u.a.l: You age as normal, and will die of old age when you reach that point. But every time you have s.e.x, you youthen yourself back towards your prime. F.u.c.k.i.n.g v.i.r.g.i.ns give you more youth than anyone else. The more intimate the s.e.x act (most especially anal and v.a.g.i.n.a.l s.e.x), the more youth you gain. As long as you f.u.c.k frequently enough, you will never grow old, and thus never die of age.

P.o.r.n Physics: Your d.i.c.k always fits into any s.e.x.u.a.l orifice with maximum p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e and zero harm or pain, and the same goes for anything inserted into you. All s.e.x.u.a.l orifices you f.u.c.k, or are f.u.c.k.e.d in, are clean and lubed up just right. You lose your refractory period. You and your partners always have unlimited stamina for f.u.c.k.i.n.g, and never get any soreness or chafting (or other such things). In addition, you will never acquire or pass on an STD.

Normalize: Anything l.e.w.d you do is acceptable to all. This includes being l.e.w.d in public, and/or any fetishes you have. This does not make it okay for others unless they’re doing it with you (or at your behest). If you like, it also applies to anything you have that isn’t mundane, such as immortality or magic items.

Harem: Anyone you f.u.c.k will not want to f.u.c.k anyone but you and your other lovers (with a great preference for you). They will also be okay with sharing you with your other lovers, and in fact, will find the idea of you f.u.c.k.i.n.g other people to be extraordinarily kinky and hot. Expect them to regularly introduce you to how new people you’d like to f.u.c.k (but only if and when you want them to). No one will be put off by you having multiple lovers at once. You can exclude lovers of your choice from this if you want.

Waifu: You gain a waifu! She is devoted to you and will always be head over heels in love with you.

Twice the Waifu: Your waifus may fight over you if you don’t have the Harem perk, but at the very least they’ll grudgingly accept each other and may compete to p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e you better than the other.

Waifu Harem: You can have as many waifus as you want! Hope you can handle that many waifus. Not just their s.e.x.u.a.l and emotional needs, but feeding and housing them too! You don’t have to get them all immediately either but can get each one when d.e.s.i.r.ed.

F.u.c.kmaids: People of your preferred gender, who look exactly as you want, share your fetishes, adore you, and cook, and clean for you. They are unaging, reform if killed, and if separated will return, no matter what, unless you dismiss them or perma-die.

Sustenance: You do not need to eat, drink, sleep, excrete waste, or breathe, but you still can if you want. You are always clean unless you don’t want to be. Hair, nails and such are maintained too. You have unlimited stamina for f.u.c.k.i.n.g, with no soreness or chafing. When you want to sleep, you can drift off easily. When you want to eat or drink but not to excrete, then the food and drink you consume will harmlessly integrate into your body or else simply vanish. You can select which parts of you are clean, and to what extent.

Health: Your physical health and well-being improved dramatically. You are immune to poisons and disease. Any physical or genetic defects you have (such as nearsightedness) are permanently cured. You are immune to pain and discomfort (though your body still signals you painlessly when you are harmed). Unwanted fat goes away, and any fitness levels you ever attain will never deteriorate. You also have regeneration akin to Wolverine’s and can regenerate from a single cell.

Serendipity: No matter what, there will always be attractive, willing partners in your life, through some means or another. Fate and reality will contrive whatever shenanigans may be necessary to ensure that you keep getting laid regularly (or constantly, if you wish). It doesn’t matter if you’re alone in a deep forest or on the moon, somehow or another you will always find a horny, good-looking f.u.c.kbuddy.

The human-like figure just snickered when reads all of it. It can’t help but about to laugh when seeing the choices that have been chosen by the human right there. Although it causing the said person tilted her head in confusion yet narrowed her eyes, give the figure a suspicious look but didn’t dare to ask what is it.

The figure then looking at the woman.

“You want to be a man? That’s why you include P.o.r.n Physics on it?”

“What—no! I wanna be futanari! Futanari will be an advanced and superior species in the world I would be lived in. Isn’t like there’s any reincarnator or world wanderer disturb my new life, right? I absolutely don’t want that. I just want a leisure life and have fun. I know there might be a hardship or something that would disturb my life, but it isn’t like I can’t have that, right?”

The figure just nodded its head and made the woman breathes in relief since she can have all of that for her own or she would be stressed about that if she won’t. Since all she wants just having fun and enjoy the second life to its fullest without thinking too much about any future problem or trouble.

“Of course, there’s no other like you that would be in your second life, I guarantee that. Even if you want to across the multiverse, they wouldn’t able to stepped in as they please as it was an absolute rule and unbreakable barrier between the wanderer: it’s not lies, even if they’re artificial god or powerful being that started to be like you, they cannot break it as they please. Our leader isn’t a fool, isn’t a fake god that can die or mortal gods. That would be bad if they can kill Him.”

The tone from the figure sounds serious, this made the woman gulp in seriousness. Most of her questions already be answered by being in front of her right now. She also thinks it would be bad if she trying to do anything stupid like offend it.

“All you have to do just enjoy your life. You can be anything do anything you want, we the omnipotent beings and gods will not interfere since you would be sent to an alternate dimension. Some dimension or world is godless or just have a god in-name. You must understand why in many fictions gods don’t interfere, someone, when in an alternate dimension? Because of that. You also may have seen many fanfics that contain the main character who always uses System or Overpowered abilities that don’t get many divine or gods punishment because always made a mess of the world they visited.”

Being told all of these facts made the woman think about it thoroughly and nod her head.

‘All of it makes sense now… that’s why no gods bothering or give punishment to the world wanderer or reincarnatior after making a mess and change it drastically from how it is supposed to be.’

“Also, from the look of it, you do not include [Infinite Mana] on Overpowered Isekai CYOA. Why is that?”

“Well… the mana capacity of someone can be increased by training and I lack the Isekai points to do that. If I somehow transported or transmigrated onto a modern world, the one who is very normal and nothing disastrous would happen, then I would think that will be useless.”

“Is that so…? Clever, very clever indeed.”

The figure just smirks when reading the Ovepowered Isekai CYOA sheet.

Overpowered Isekai CYOA:

Instant Mastery

Weapon Mastery

Restore State

Mind Restore

Planar Portal

Teleportation

Swift Learning

Perfect Memory

Apply Knowledge

Instant Mastery: Whenever you use any kind of item which is not a weapon, you will be able to use the item with the combined skill of all of its previous users. For example, buy an old fishing rod and you will be able to fish like a master fisherman or pick up a used map and you will know how to navigate it.

Weapon Mastery: This power will also affect weapons.

Restore State: You can restore the physical state of anything you touch to a previous state of your choice. This power has many uses, for example, you can heal yourself, you can make someone younger, you can repair broken objects or you can revert a sword to it’s glowing hot state when it was forged.

Mind Restore: You can now restore the mental and spiritual state of anything you touch. This would among other things allow you to erase other people’s memories and resurrect dead people.

Planar Portal: You can now open and close portals across the multiverse. This means that you will be able to visit any fictional universe you know as well as returning home to your original world.

Teleportation: You can now instantly teleport yourself to any place you have visited or anywhere within your line of sight.

Swift Learning: Anything that makes it into your short-term memory will be added to your long-term memory and your muscle memory will be more malleable during training exercises. This will basically make you really good at learning, memorizing and mastering new things. For example, take a couple of fencing lessons and you’re guaranteed to be best in class. Your amazing learning speed is sure to bring you lots of attention, admiration, and envy from your fellow students.

Perfect Memory: Anything that makes it to your long-term memory stays there and won’t ever be forgotten.

Apply Knowledge: The first time you use something you have learned, outside of a training setting will be twice as potent.

“Ooooh… you focus more on learning, huh…”

The woman just nods with pride, puffed her c.h.e.s.t happily.

“Obviously. Like I said before, anything can be learned and I must absolutely need that. It’s important for me, although the processing speed isn’t that fast compared to the others.”

The figure just snort.

“Yet you pick [Instant Mastery]. Isn’t that fast too?”

She just laughs nervously and scratching her cheeks when heard that question and answer at the same time told by being in front of her. The figure just sighed and shook its head when seeing it. That kind of hypocrite of her to says that but look like it has to let it go.

But the figure coughed and clear its throat.

“Okay, I already read all of it and that’s quite… unique. If you want to be futanari, then what kind of p.e.n.i.s you want? Like its shape, length, and anything. I’ll give you one and you can’t change it unless you have or learn any magic or ability that allows you to alter your own p.e.n.i.s.”

Being told of it suddenly made the woman rubs her chin and thinks of it thoroughly. Although there’s no real chin on her as she’s in soul state or spiritual body. She already dead, but let’s forget about it and see how the thing would turn out.

Nod her head, she then smiling at the figure.

“Give me a 10-inch p.e.n.i.s.”

“Okay. Then, it’s high time for you to descend to the lower world or the human world. Just in case, you’ll be transmigrated or possessing a person’s body. Meaning you won’t start from baby or infant, I mean… you don’t want to wait for several years, aren’t you? Time isn’t necessary for you, because you will have a long lifespan in the future and you can train as much as you want.”

“Well… if you put it in that way, true. But who will I possess and how the world I’d live in?”

“That’s… better if you find out about it yourself.”

The figure snaps its finger and suddenly, a big hole appeared under the woman’s soul, s.u.c.k.i.n.g it strongly which almost made her yell in shock and scared because of the sudden impact she received, which only be responded by the figure who waving its hands to her.