Game Director from Hell - Chapter 91: Remembering – 2
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I’ve lived my life sticking to my narrow human relationships.
Even in this life, but especially in my previous one, it became even more pronounced.
Well, the only person I maintained any sort of friendship with in my previous life was Jo Ayoon, and the only other person I considered a friend was Yang Gilsang, who I occasionally shared a meal with at a snack bar.
Of course, there was another guy I thought of as a friend.
If I didn’t know how he talked about me behind my back, he might have been the first one to bring back into this life.
There’s no need to dwell on that guy.
In conclusion, there weren’t many people in my life who could serve as motivating characters due to the narrowness of my social circle.
It was when I felt this problem that I decided to create my Identity.
During the planning phase, I once confided in Jo Ayoon about my concerns.
She responded with, “Then I’ll specially permit you to write about me!”
She wanted me to make her the heroine.
Since it was her giving permission, I happily agreed, but she asked me to pay for the drinks that day in return.
I remember she only drank soju that day, as if she was determined not to get drunk.
After getting quite intoxicated, she said something like this:
“Where in the world can you find someone who suits the role of a heroine so well?”
Her smiling face is still quite vivid.
Certainly, she was such a bright person that if she had gotten married, she might have become someone’s one and only heroine in life.
Whatever the case, it’s all in the past now.
“So, is the heroine happy with the protagonist?”
“Die in the prologue.”
“Is the team leader the type to want to kill someone if they love them? Yandere or something?”
“Huh?”
“…Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
With those thoughts, “Miso” was created based on Jo Ayoon.
She was cheerful, caring, and had more laughter than anyone else.
Thinking back, Miso received a lot of love after the release.
So, in this life, I wanted to create a character like that, but I can’t capture the same feelings as back then.
Those impressions have faded.
Time is truly frightening.
“Boss…?”
Jo Ayoon poked my shoulder as I was lost in thought.
“Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“I-It’s okay!”
Hehe, Jo Ayoon laughed.
Then she handed me a box wrapped in a cloth.
“My mom brought it. It’s, it’s side dishes!”
Ah, is that so?
Her mother often gives side dishes.
She’s expressing gratitude, saying something like, “Thank you for making my daughter a good person.”
At first, I refused, but I could see her disappointment every time, so now I accept it without complaint.
Most importantly, it’s a hassle to make those kinds of side dishes by my hand.
“You her know I’ll eat it well.”
“You don’t have to eat it well! It’s just a bunch of wild vegetables anyway!”
If you speak cheerfully like that, will it really be fine? Making vegetable dishes requires a lot of effort.
At times like this, I realize how young I am.
Looking back, I used to hate greens even in my past life.
Even when eating pork belly, I would say, “There’s no room for greens in my stomach,” and just eat the meat.
Suddenly, seeing that scene, something came to mind.
“…smile.”
If not much has changed, wouldn’t the current Jo Ayoon also have points to apply to Miso?
Or could she serve as a good medium to recall the Jo Ayoon of the past life?
Feeling a tug at my heart, I immediately spoke.
“Ayoon.”
“Yes?”
“Tomorrow is the weekend, what are you doing?”
Jo Ayoon’s lips were slightly raised.
“Me…”
“Wanna go out for some fresh air?”
“Yes!”
She answered without even thinking.
Well, I’m grateful, but…
“Where are we going?”
Jo Ayoon’s smile brightly bloomed.
It seemed like even the creature in her eyes wanted to go out.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Umm…”
With her eyes tightly closed, Jo Ayoon pondered.
It doesn’t matter where.
The purpose was to observe her.
Eventually, Jo Ayoon responded.
“…Ah! I want to go there!”
“Hmm?”
“To the aquarium!”
An aquarium, at least it wouldn’t be noisy.
“Okay, let’s go to the aquarium then.”
That’s how the holiday plans were decided.
The next day came, and I asked Jo Ayoon who was facing me.
“Ayoon, did you go to the wedding?”
“Yes?”
For once again, she wasn’t in her frog-patterned tracksuit but wearing a skirt.
***
The wedding didn’t happen, and the change of clothes was just a simple change of mind. Maybe it’s the age of enjoying dressing up.
So, I entered the aquarium.
It’s not a matter of a few years but a few decades since I last visited an aquarium.
I’m not someone who enjoys going out often, and I’m not particularly interested in following such attractions, so it’s really the first time since my previous life.
It wasn’t bad.
Watching the fish swimming in the tank made me feel calm.
Of course, I didn’t forget observing Jo Ayoon.
“Mr. CEO…! It’s a white-fleshed fish!”
“That one has red flesh… It must be delicious.”
“A shark… Thresher shark…!”
Did she come to see the sashimi?
When I asked if she hadn’t enjoyed raw fish so much before, she replied that it’s because she’s getting older.
“I’m getting older too…”
“I, I’ll graduate next year…!”
“Did you pass all your classes?”
“…”
Jo Ayoon, a fashion university student proud of having one academic warning and three F grades, fell silent.
She just looked at the fish with a somewhat melancholic expression.
“…Shall we go eat sashimi for dinner?”
She circled back to the topic of sashimi.
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
I replied and started walking.
Passing by fish and marine animals, we moved on to crustaceans and then penguins.
In the meantime, I felt something for sure.
“Do, do you know? Penguins are actually psychopaths!”
This Jo Ayoon in this life is truly different in sentiment compared to the previous life.
Even though she has the same face, voice, and body as I remember, there were times when it felt strange.
Of course, it’s a natural thing.
The life experiences have been different.
“I think we first met when Ayoon was twenty-five.”
In the previous life, we built our friendship around that age.
This life, we’ve been together since she was seventeen.
Opportunities to meet friends of the same age were probably rare for her as she was buried in work during the crucial period of personality formation.
Confidence… is that the right word?
There are still moments when Jo Ayoon hesitates and stammers when choosing words.
Even the chosen words are not within the usual categories.
I feel sorry for that.
I couldn’t make her an admirable adult like I did in the previous life.
Maybe it’s because I brought this young girl and left her alone.
Lost in unnecessary thoughts, we found ourselves at the end of the aquarium.
Outside, the sun was setting.
Looking at the reddening sky, I said, “Let’s go eat. Sashimi.”
“Yes!”
We went to a nearby sashimi restaurant.
“Eat up.”
“Mr. CEO too…!”
We ordered a plate of flatfish sashimi.
Since tomorrow is a holiday, I allowed a glass of alcohol.
Jo Ayoon seemed quite pleased.
After drinking about two glasses, Jo Ayoon suddenly asked, “By the way, Mr. CEO.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have any worries? Your complexion doesn’t look good.”
Blinking her eyes, she asked the question. I was momentarily taken aback.
Did I show a gloomy expression?
“Well…”
I carefully chose my words.
“Just… I feel sorry for not taking good care of you. I apologize for that.”
Yes, that’s the right thing to say.
Today, even going out was for the purpose of collecting sources for the Miso’s character.
Without such a purpose, I wouldn’t have spent time separately with Jo Ayoon.
As an adult, I wondered if I had done something I shouldn’t have.
In the midst of such thoughts,
“Ah, no···!”
Jo Ayoon said,
“Y-You’ve been taking care of me so well, boss···!”
It’s grateful when someone thinks like that.
I was trying to change the subject, thinking it would be better to avoid a gloomy conversation.
“You know. If it weren’t for the boss, I’d still be in my room···!”
“Well, I don’t know.”
“Really···!”
You would have come out into the world on your own.
But what Jo Ayoon said afterward was faster.
And it pulled out a memory that was somewhere inside me.
“If it weren’t for the boss, I would have quit by now. It wouldn’t be fun.”
I’m sure I heard the same thing from Jo Ayoon in my past life.
A surprising realization began to build up inside me.
“Making things with the boss is fun···!”
“I enjoy the boss’s games. They match my taste.”
“When I see someone working hard, I want to work hard too···!”
“Because having someone who works hard nearby is stimulating.”
“Well··· Ah! I like the company too···!”
“I don’t like my teammates, but I like the company. It’s fun to gossip with the boss.”
Jo Ayoon smiled bashfully.
The remembered image overlapped with her present self.
“Thank you for always being there for me! Taking me out···!”
“Thank you for letting me stay in the team. I saved my resignation letter.”
It was a momentary thing.
The unfamiliarity disappeared, and what I knew of Jo Ayoon looked complete.
And so, after that fleeting moment, a sense of unnecessary longing arose and was resolved.
Even though it was undoubtedly a brief moment, amidst it, memories vividly painted the Jo Ayoon of that day at a speed I couldn’t chase.
It felt like the dust accumulated on an old frame had been swept away.
After that whole process, I finally realized.
The Jo Ayoon with clear memories on top was no different from the one from that day.
‘You…’
So clear.
No matter what it looked like on the surface, inside, she was just as clear as in my past life.
It felt like being hit on the back of the head.
Realizing that seeing Jo Ayoon differently was just a remnant of my narrow-mindedness.
Or, maybe I simply hadn’t seen her properly.
No, it could be that I didn’t see her properly.
Looking back, I felt a sense of guilt.
I felt sorry for the times when she wasn’t treated well, yet she continued to support me until the end.
I felt sorry for letting her stay in the team just because of me.
I had a thought that I might be hindering her, and it might have continued into this life.
This friend who always sided with me deserves a more remarkable life than my past life as a repayment.
Those were the thoughts I had.
Maybe, this friend might not value such things as important.
“Money and fame aren’t that important? I just like enjoying every moment.”
Jo Ayoon smiled when she faced people, whether in my past life or this one.
Jo Ayoon preferred ordinary conversations over talking about things like fame.
‘···Ah.’
It wasn’t till now that it occurred to me.
What I had borrowed from Jo Ayoon while creating Miso.
- “Happy! If even one person is smiling, doesn’t it make others feel a little better?”
The cheerful spirit that barely held the always precarious team together.
That was the motif of the smile.
“Ma, Manager…!”
With teeth visible as she smiled brightly, Jo Ayoon was in high spirits.
“Oh, thank you for calling me today! Happy birthday…!”
“Huh?”
“It’s your birthday…!”
Ah, right.
March 11th. Today is my birthday.
So it seems like the game Jo Ayoon liked didn’t come out today.
It was just a misunderstanding, but realizing such consideration, I was grateful.
I could only manage to say, “Thanks.”
Jo Ayoon raised her glass.
“Well then, cheers…!”
“Cheers…”
The soju glasses clinked.
With the sound, it felt like a curtain that had covered my vision was pierced.
It was a sensation of finally grasping something that had been missing.
The gathering continued like that.
“Oh, today we live and die…!”
Jo Ayoon thoroughly practiced her own words.
“At, at your house…?”
“In front of your house.”
“Ooh…!”
…It would have been truly beautiful if it had ended there.
***
Two days later, I arrived at work and sat in front of the computer. Turning it on with a light heart, I revisited the scenario of the prologue.
“Miso said to the wriggling E-40 in bed, ‘It’s dangerous to move like that! Just endure until you’re completely better.’”
A girl who was warm to everyone and never lost her smile. A person like sunshine that melts the world with her smile. It was an expression meant to represent such a character.
And now, I realized that this expression was very mundane.
“She don’t need to be kind.”
Regardless of words, a person who spreads smiles brightens the surroundings with their kind heart alone. A person who can reach out for others sincerely shows their sincerity through actions. Therefore, the warmth that doesn’t ask for a reason sometimes appeared as whimsical.
Realizing these things, I corrected the dialogue.
“If you don’t want to be fish bait, it’s better to stay quiet! I’m really good at fighting!”
Miso could become an even more mischievous girl if she wanted to. Even then, she would still be a clear-minded child.
Now satisfied, I saved the modified file.
That’s when I heard voices.
“Oh my! Ayoon dyed her hair?”
“Yes!”
The sound reached me.
When I lifted my head, Jo Ayoon was visible.
Making eye contact with me, Jo Ayoon approached with a bouncing step, smiling brightly.
“Boss! How about this? It’s a two-tone dye!”
Jo Ayoon showed me the tips of her hair.
Only that part was dyed pink.
I wondered what had gotten into her.
Even while contemplating, her expression showed genuine satisfaction.
As much as the hair tips dyed in pink, her smile became even more vibrant.
When asked about my opinion, I replied, “It suits you well.”
Jo Ayoon indeed looked good in pink.
“Re-really? My mom liked it too! Oh! If you need more side dishes, just let me know!”
“Okay.”
It was a refreshing spring.
An afternoon where I gained a good realization.
The smile of Jo Ayoon in her twenty-third year of this life had already become that of a mature adult.
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