Game of Thrones: Paladin of Old Gods - Chapter 150: The Andal Queen
POV: Cersei Lannister
Silk Road.
Year 290, the fourth day of the first moon.
A few hours before a new House arose in Torrhen’s Square…
“I have heard more than one rumour that your loyal Ser Meryn is recovering prodigiously well from his horrible wounds inflicted by the vengeful Furious Bear.” Tyrion broke the minute’s silence first.
“The maester of Barrow Hall gave Meryn up for dead the first night. But it seems that his wounds healed at a portentous rate during his second and third mornings of convalescence. The Maester even consented to allow Meryn to join us on the gurney in a few days.
Septon Mullin claims it is a miracle of the Seven and that the Warrior and Father have professed themselves in favour of the heroic Kingsguard…’ Cersei replied in the same tone.
“Ah, yes, I have heard that. But I doubt the Father and the Warrior are aware of the ‘Peculiar Tastes’ that ‘Anointed Knight of the Seven’ requires in the brothels of King’s Landing.
It could be divine intervention, or it could be another promising new addition to the North.
It seems the old maester used new soothing ointments and leeches bred in the Neck…” Tyrion downed another generous gulp of Dorne Red.
“Why are you here?” asked Cersei to her irritatingly deformed brother.
Tyrion had climbed aboard the monstrous six-wheeled royal carriage, insisting that he and Cersei speak privately.
“I am not here on our father’s orders, if that is what troubles your thoughts, sweet sister.
But… The mighty Tywin Lannister appreciated ‘His Greatest Delusion’ attempting to reason with the latter, close to reaching the extraordinary summit and ousting my throne.” Tyrion replied sarcastically.
“Tsz… It has not even been three moons since you were appointed ‘Governor’ and ‘Shield’ of Lannisport, and already you think you have become our father’s right-hand man?” Cersei retorted defensively.
The first attempt to crush the threat nicknamed Bloody Snow turned out to be a tremendous failure that magnified the flame rather than extinguishing it…
Cersei had underestimated the brat, but it was not her fault. If that idiot Eunuch Spider had done his duty, for which he was richly paid, the lioness would have had more essential information for building a proper and effective strategy.
If only Cersei had known sooner that her pig of a husband sought the first valid opportunity to appoint Duncan Tallhart ‘First Green Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’, the Queen would have been the first to prevent the bloody duel from taking place…
“I doubt I’ll ever be able to replace our father’s mighty long arm called Kevan with one as short as my own… So let’s cut out the ‘venomous barbs’ and get down to business.
Sooner we deal with this matter, sooner you will remove the revolting burden of my presence.” Tyrion carelessly tossed the empty golden cup onto the silk cushions.
“So, say what you have come to report, brother.” Cersei.
“Stop antagonizing House Lannister and the Crown against Ser Duncan Tallhart and Lady Barbrey Mormont.
Ah… and the warning is extended against any other individual, creature or possession in the North.” Promulgated Tyrion in a severe tone.
“And when did I ever do that? House Mormont and House Tallhart insulted and threw mud at the Crown and House Lannister!” Roared the lioness.
“Please, Cersei… Spare this tirade towards the ladies or lesser nobles of the court who drool in the wake of Tywin Lannister’s rich and powerful daughter. Half of Casterly Rock knows you’d rather declare war on the entire North than see my niece, your daughter, sold out to the lusts of the Northern Barbarians…” and then Tyrion continued with, “Do you know what name those aforementioned ‘Barbarians’ have bestowed upon you after your pitiful attempt to sentence ‘The Hero of the First Men’ to death?… [The Andal Queen].”
Cersei hardened her gaze for a few seconds and, taking a deep breath and softening her face, she replied:
“I don’t see where the problem is. Six kingdoms on the continent are firm believers of the Seven, and many historical sources claim that our founding ancestor was an Andal who drove the First Men from Casterly Rock.
House Lannister has nothing in common with the Barbarians of the North worshipping Dead Trees.” As more seconds passed, and more the Queen began to see excellent possibilities and future alliances that might enhance her position.
That nickname was not so bad…
“The problem, my sweet sister ‘Andal’, is that you did not pay enough attention to Maester Volarik’s history lessons…
Over the millennia, the Andal’s armies have never managed to conquer an ounce of land from the North. And in recent years, the North has repeatedly proven to the world that it needs no one’s protection.
Should your loyal ‘First Men’ subjects declare independence and stop bowing, scraping, and putting up with the insults to their cultures and traditions, who will march north to bring them back on the straight and narrow? Your Ser Boros and Ser Meryn Trant, perhaps?” Tyrion asked sarcastically.
“Pff… The Quite Wolf a King? If Eddard Stark had wanted a throne, he could have quietly claimed the roost of Robert six years ago… We have our allies in the North, my beloved brother. The Warden of the North is loyal to our king.
Should the Tallharts or Mormonts raise their heads too high, he, Robert, and our father will wipe out Torrhen’s Square, Barrowton, Bear Island, and any other fools who choose to side with the traitors to the Crown.” Cersei replied, causing a look of dismay and disbelief on the dwarf’s face. But the Queen continued undaunted in her convictions.
“Have you by any chance forgotten the fate of House Reyne, Tarbeck and Greyjoy, my witty brother? We have more men, more ships and more gold than House Tallhart and Mormont-” Cersei was interrupted by the roar of the little lion.
“We-Not-Have-None of the Three, Cersei!!”
‘What does he means by ‘none of the three’?’ Wondered the lioness inwardly with puzzlement.
“Who do you think won the last war? Your husband, by any chance?!
It was House fucking Tallhart that wiped out the Kraken! Not the Stags, the Wolf, the Lion, but Bloody Snow!!” Cersei was shocked for a moment by Tyrion’s reaction.
Despite her doubt, Cersei could not allow the filthy dwarf to speak to her like that, and the lioness tried to roar more fiercely to teach the little lion who was in charge in the pit.
“House Lannister is the richest and most powerful house in the Seven Kingdoms!” Tyrion did not reply immediately; he stared at his sister for a few moments and after that rubbed the base in his nose, closing his eyes in pondering, until…
“Phew…May the Seven save us…Listen to me carefully, Cersei.
House Lannister is, in fact, currently wealthier than any other house in Westeros, more than House Tallhart and Mormont.” Cersei sneered with a victorious grimace.
” ‘But’ on the whole, The North is richer and more powerful than the West. It’s not just the Houses Tallhart, Stark, Dustin and Mormont that have grown richer and more powerful in recent years, but ‘The Whole North’!
Every goddamn Household from the Reeds of Grey Tower to the Clans of the Mountains! All of them are exponentially increasing their financial, political and military influence!!!
And don’t believe for a moment that Lord Eddard Stark or the bond of friendship with Robert holds sway over Torrhen’s Square and Barrowton.
House Tallhart and House Mormont… or rather, ‘Ser Duncan Tallhart’ and ‘Lady Barbrey Mormont’ hold the Entire North in their hands!
Yes, that’s right. The 12-year-old boy you tried to have killed and the woman you are so openly trying to antagonise, together, have more power than Tywin fucking Lannister!” Asserted Tyrion.
“Pff, don’t talk nonsense… If our father would-” Cersei was interrupted by a question.
“You know the Eyrie and the Bloody Gate?”
“I thought you wanted to talk to me seriously… Why then do you resume your stupid games?” Asked the sister in turn.
“Answer me, please. I am not playing games but only trying to elucidate points not yet known to you.
I will be more precise. Do you know the qualities that have characterised these two Valley fortresses for millennia?” Did Tyrion think she was so ignorant?
“They are the two fortresses belonging to House Arryn. They are said to be impregnable, and no army would ever attempt a suicidal frontal assault on the pass of the Bloody Gate, nor has any army ever succeeded in laying siege to the Eyrie.” The Queen replied comprehensively.
After the mockery suffered by Bloody Snow, Cersei vowed in future to scrutinise and learn by heart every glimmer of legal or technicality that would have that albino brat imprisoned in the darkest, filthiest, godforsaken cells. Should her second attempt ever fail…
Duncan Tallhart did not deserve the mercy of a quick death.
No stump or executioner for Bloody Snow… no. The Heir of Torrhen’s Square was to starve to death in a long agony and be fed on black flea-bottom soup ‘seasoned’ with rotting shreds of his amputated limbs.
Ser Gregor had been warmly ‘updated’ on the changes in his services… Although, perhaps, there was no need for such elucidations either. The Queen and the Mountain longed to hear the Tallharts’ brat’s cries of distress.
“Correct answer, my dear sister. Now, I must inform you that Lady Barbrey’s heralded new place of employment is two miles from here. Exactly in the centre of the ‘Silk Road’ and that, less than an hour ago, your beautiful carriage passed through a Gate-Fortress with a defensive structure equal, if not superior, to the impregnable ‘Bloody Gate’.” Cersei slightly widened her eyes.
Was it an exaggeration to intimidate her? The Queen had remained in the royal carriage behind closed doors with her children all morning. Cersei had not yet observed any details of this infamous ‘Silk Road’…
“Three hundred men are guarding the ‘Barrowgate’, and we have learned that another identical structure stands six miles further north in this narrow mountain passage defended on both sides by a natural barrier higher than The Wall…
A garrison at South-Mormont and one at North-Tallhart could easily repel armies forty times their number.
So, my sweet sister, assuming Lady Barbrey chooses to rebel against Winterfell or the Iron Throne, in your opinion, which House of Westeros would send their men to lead them to such a slaughterhouse?
Do you think our father could muster over twelve thousand men, lead them across the Neck, and order them to march against Barrowgate to certain death?
…The Queen Cercei has 15,000/20,000 swordsmen who would gladly sacrifice their lives to appease the discontent and personal grudges of the ‘Andal Queen’ and lay the head of the ‘Frosty Spice Queen’ at her feet?” Cersei did not know how to retort.
Bluffing in front of the dwarf would have been futile. Her father had granted her a ‘paltry’ private allowance of thirty thousand gold dragons a year and barely a hundred Lannisters swords to spare.
In six years, Cersei had gained the ‘supposed allegiance’ of House Bywater, Stokeworth, six or seven other lesser houses of the Crowlands, and had only Pycelle in the small council. Without the steadfast support of her husband and her father, the Queen was effectively powerless…
“Ah. And let us remember that we were only discussing ‘how to overcome Lady Barbrey’s first garrison of three hundred soldiers. The Dustin-Mormont-Ryswell-Bolton armies, the alliance with Torrhen’s Square, the friendships-commercial friendships with numerous unknown towns and forces in Essos, and Barrowton’s oversized coffers are a different kettle of fish.” Tyrion poured more buckets of salt on the open wound, irritating Cersei.
‘No… I must not be drawn into the tricks of the Imp.’ Her brother’s voice was beginning to be more remarkable than her towards their father… It was worth trying to suck it up a little with Tyrion and seek a family partnership.
Personal grudges aside, Tyrion was loyal to his family and loved Jaime, his nephew, and niece… In this fight, the Lions had to stick together.
“What do you suggest we do then? You are implicitly admitting that the heir Tallhart and the Lady of Barrowton have too much power in their hands.
If the North’s influence and wealth grow further, we will not have the means to prevent them from separating from the protectorate of the Iron Throne.
What if Bloody Snow and the Widow choose one day to support Aegon’s return? For us, it would be the prelude to catastrophe.” She wittily remarked the lioness calmly, getting a nod of agreement from her younger brother.
“That is why we must win the favour of the North and forge as many trade and military alliances with them as possible before House Targaryen returns.
Our father is not standing idly by while other Houses raise armies and riches beyond measure.
Casterly Rock, Lannisport and the entire West must stand by and benefit from relations with the North, increasing prosperity, influence and military power.
It will be years before Rhaegar’s rightful son raises his head from the sandpit where he hides. We must use every day of peace to outclass the power of Dorne.
If we do not do this, the Tyrells will use this tremendous opportunity with the North to oust us from our throne as the wealthiest and most influential House on the continent. As you well know, the Tyrells were always the most loyal supporters of House Targaryen.
Even if the North chose independence, disregarding power struggles for the Southern throne, Lord Tyrell would not hesitate for a moment to give his daughter in marriage to Aegon VI if he saw a favourable opportunity for victory.” The explanation seemed persuasive and rational.
Since this bloody Greyjoy rebellion began, Cersei had totally neglected the Martell-Targaryen problem…
Within six to nine years at most, Aegon and Rhaenys Targaryen would announce their return to the whole world. And that whore, Elia Martell, would be irrefutable proof of the veracity of the rightful successors to the Iron Throne…
The North was a threat, but fighting major wars on multiple fronts would weaken the Lannister/Baratheon Kingdom too much.
Tyrion went on to say:
“House Lannister still has a good relationship with the Tallharts, and we are also trying to strengthen that bond with the Mormonts. It is unlikely that Myrcella will marry Ser Duncan, but we may have a chance with her younger brother, Benfred.
Barring any more ‘unfortunate incidents’, and with any luck, our cousin Lancel will marry Eddara Tallhart. Our father has wisely chosen to offer Ser Helman’s second son his patronage.” Cersei tried to absorb the tragic news of replacing the Tallhart candidate for her Myrcella with another fucking Tallhart with restraint…
“Is Benfred Tallhart going to Casterly Rock?” Asked the Queen in modest astonishment.
“Correct. Ser Helman has just accepted Lancel as page and guest of Torrhen’s Square, and tomorrow evening, young Benfred will begin the same role with our father.” Tyrion replied.
Cersei pondered for a moment.
‘Tsz… It may already be too late to stop Clegane… Unfortunately, the dwarf is right.
House Lannister and my Joffrey need Torrhen’s Square and Barrowton for a while longer…
If Casterly Rock has a valuable hostage on its hands, then the Tallharts will not be a threat in short to medium term. However… ‘that brat must go.” Cersei made her best decision.
The wisest choice was to show signs of peace and reconciliation with the old witch and the Bloody Bastard and let her father’s Dog pursue this revenge…
The alliance with Barrowton’s arrogant bitch could take it, but Bloody Snow… No.
After the events of that diabolical evening, that being had proved to be a more significant threat than the Targaryen’s heir… Duncan Tallhart had to die, and the legend of Bloody Snow had to wither and be forgotten as soon as possible. With each abominable breath of that being, her position and Joffrey weakened…
But how to get the Bastard of the North out of the way without all eyes on her? Now, that was the problem… Cersei had already overexposed herself.
The crucial element for the success of this venture was that the Queen’s hands remain unquestionably clean in the eyes of the North.
To do this, there remained only one solution…
Cersei had to sacrifice Ser Gregor and Ser Armory, condemning their actions and reducing them to eternal silence immediately after the misdeed.
‘I could ask Gregor to ‘accidentally’ crush Ser Armory’s skull during the melee… But then who will put down the mad Dog?… ‘Mad’… Yes, right!’ Before leaving King’s Landing, Cersei had asked for a well-stocked supply of ‘medicines’ from Pycelle.
Among them was a small vial of Basilisk Blood…
A few drops of that vial induced violent madness in every warm-blooded creature, both man and beast. According to reports from the Grand Maester, a rat would attack a lion after tasting basilisk blood.
Ser Gregor’s migraines were an average known fact… If, immediately after the melee, his squire served him his usual dose of hydrating wine laced with Basilisk blood, the mad Dog would be shot down by the Mormont guards themselves as he was succumbing to the murderous madness…
Bloody Snow was capable but arrogant. Nevertheless, the honour and glory of the Hero of the North would force him to accept the challenge against the Riding Mountain.
Lorch would offer an opening to Clegane, who needed one clean blow to crush the name of Ser Duncan Tallhart forever.
Even with his blunt broadsword, Gregor was capable of breaking the back of a grown man in plate armour with a single slash…
And after Ser Armory’s ‘improper’ meddling in the Knights’ duel, Ser Gregor would ‘accidentally’ get rid of his comrade caught off guard.
‘Yes, perfect.’ Cersei imagined the whole scene ending with her on the front line ordering the Kingsguard to stop the monster-murdering madman who was guilty of the crime of taking the lives of so many innocents as well as that of a poor young ‘Green Knight’…
“You are right, brother. It is now clear to me, and I will atone for my sins.
Casterly Rock and the Crown need to forge a solid and profitable relationship with Torrhen’s Square, Barrowton and all other influential Northern Houses.
Let our father know that there will be no more ‘failures’ or ‘mistakes’ on my part…
I will do all I must for the good of House Lannister and the good of my family.”
End Chapter.
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