God-level Bodyguard in The City - Chapter 5

Early in the morning, Xiao Yi was woken up by the sound of someone knocking on the door. She took a look at the time. It wasn’t even seven, and Chen Min was knocking on the door incessantly like an evil spirit[1].

“Youngest aunt~, youngest aunt~, hurry up and wake up~. We’re opening for business today~,” Chen Min said[2].

“Open your little sister! Funeral [3]!” Xiao Yi unhappily opened the door. Thanks to Chen Min’s bullshit last night, Xiao Yi’s entire body was hurting so badly that it felt like she was being torn apart. Even getting out of bed took a long time and a lot of effort. The hand, holding the door, was trembling.

“Don’t be angry. I have a present for you. Take it as my apology.” Chen Min mysteriously took out a high quality shoulderless lace dress from behind his back.

“A GUCCI dress?” Xiao Yi was so surprised that she forgot her anger. She took the dress and glanced at the price tag, it cost 18000, not 18000￥[4], but $18000. Written on it were foreign words, and it didn’t look like local goods. “Where did you get this from?”

“A long time ago, I went to France to carry out a mission, someone had asked me to bring it back. But, later on, we stopped talking. Maybe she died?” Chen Min said casually.

You’re using a dead person’s clothes as a present?” Xiao Yi said while frowning.

“You haven’t even worn it. If you don’t want it, then give it back.” Chen Min acted as if he was about to snatch it, but Xiao Yi had already hid it behind her back.

“Why wouldn’t I want it? You caused me so much suffering last night, this is something you should do!” Xiao Yi closed the door while sticking her tongue out. Then, she happily changed into the new clothes.

“Women…… Sure enough, they all like the same things.” Chen Min helplessly sighed.

Right, women were all the same. Women that didn’t like branded goods were not people who were proud and aloof, it was just that they couldn’t afford one[5]. Anyway, Xiao Yi felt that she wouldn’t be able to buy the foreign dress in front of her within her lifetime. Even after joining the special forces, her wages would barely be on the level of white-collar workers. An $18000 dress would cost 120000￥! Even if she didn’t eat or drink, she would still need two years before she could afford dresses like the one in front of her.

Xiao Yi swallowed her saliva while carefully getting into the foreign dress. She didn’t know if whether or not it was purely psychological, but why was it that wearing branded goods felt so comfortable? Feeling every inch of that cloth against her skin, she found it even more splendid[6].

The shoulderless, black one-piece dress only covered one-third of her legs. Her 105cm long legs were almost completely exposed, it was extremely tempting. As she looked in the mirror, Xiao Yi blushed and felt her heart jump.

Embarrassedly, she put on her only pair of high-heeled shoes and went downstairs in small choppy strides.

Chen Min, who was in the living room, had changed into a suit. He looked like a gentleman as he stood there waiting for Xiao Yi to arrive.

“Do I…do I look good? Isn’t this dress a bit short?” Xiao Yi embarrassedly pulled the skirt down, hoping to cover up more of her long legs. However, due to the design of the one-piece dress, as soon she took care of the bottom, the shoulderless top would cause the edges of her underwear to be exposed. As a result, she anxiously pulled it up again. This pulling up and down several tens of times almost made Chen Min get a nosebleed.

“Just like this, perfect!” Chen Min gave a thumbs up and said, “It’s already late. I’ve booked a high-class hotel, we should go now.”

“What do you think you’re doing? Are you really opening for business[6]? I’m warning you, even if I’m your assistant, don’t think that you can use those unspoken rules[16] on me. Believe it or not, I’ll immediately blow your head off as soon as you do.” Xiao Yi vigilantly opened a small hand bag and skillfully took out her handgun.

“Little aunt, the hotel isn’t just for “pa, pa, pa[7]” okay? We can also eat there. Let’s go, I’ll treat you to a good meal, take it as my apology.” Chen Min laughed as he grabbed Xiao Yi and dragged her out the door.

This whole day, Xiao Yi constantly felt that the method of opening the copy was wrong[8]. Chen Min Suddenly became a good gentleman. Not only did he proactively be the driver, he even opened the car door for her and passed her tissue paper. He was also extremely attentive and caring, taking care of everything, down to the smallest detail.

The high class restaurant that Chen Min had talked about was unexpectedly Lin Hai City’s[9] only six-star hotel, “Ao Guan Hai”, and laid at Lin Hai City’s most beautiful beach. Xiao Yi’s colleagues in the police station once called this place “one night gone” as a joke. It referred to how with one night in a standard room, an entire month’s salary would be gone.

As for eating a meal of western food here, even if one was only half full, it could be called a major hemorrhage. The way Chen Min held Xiao Yi was as calm as most of the wealthy second generation that frequently came here. He walked directly towards Ao Guan Hai’s restaurant, and found a seat by a window.

Because it just so happened to be breakfast time, the restaurant was full of people. The men, apart from children, instinctively stared at the beautiful Xiao Yi. So much that Xiao Yi felt some embarrassment.

Within these people, a middle aged man, wearing gold rimmed glasses, who was quietly sitting in a corner, also turned his head and looked. His eyes were full of amazement and appreciation.

Chen Min spoke to the waitress in English and ordered two 388￥ breakfast sets. Seeing the prices, Xiao Yi couldn’t help but take in a breath of cold air, “One serving of fried egg[10] costs almost 60￥, do they use tea eggs imported from Taiwan or something?

“Stop being so petty, it’s not like you’re paying.” Chen Min said while using the warm pre-meal towels[11] to wipe his hands.

“I’m worried for you. You shouldn’t have much money, right?” Xiao Yi said while carrying a glass of water.

“After this meal, I will still have just about 20¢ left.” Chen Min said. His indifferent tone made Xiao Yi almost choke.

“You have problems! You have no money, and you still want to act generous. I’m not eating anymore. Let’s go home.” Xiao Yi got up to leave.

“Don’t mess around[12]. Have you noticed the man 45° behind me? The one wearing gold rimmed glasses, bright yellow clothes, and checkered pants.” When Chen Min entered the restaurant, he had inadvertently glanced around and had already engraved the attires as well as the appearances of everyone there into his mind. This was a talent he had honed for the sake of killing people.

“What is it?” Xiao Yi looked over. That man unexpectedly raised the wine glass in his hand and motioned at her. Such a frivolous action, when done by that middle-aged man, appeared exceptionally refined.

“He is Dream Jade’s[13] agent, Wu Neng![14] In the entertainment industry[15], he has been a first class scout for 20 years and has made many celebrities red[16]. 3 years ago, he accepted a job as Dream Jade’s agent. From then on, he has never made a comeback[17]. What we‘re going to do now is “entrapment[18]”, and have him take the bait.” Chen Min quietly said.

“How do we fish?” As soon as Xiao Yi said that, she immediately understood. “Motherfucker[19], you’re using me as the bait aren’t you?”

“Wu Neng isn’t the average small fish. Plenty of female celebrities are anxious to use those unspoken rules[20] on him, but very few are able to make it into his eyes.” Chen Min said while using a stainless steel soup spoon to look at his prey. “He seems to like you a lot, there could be some developments between the two of you.”

“If you dare to let me sleep with him, you are going to die.” Xiao Yi‘s eyes glinted with a fierce light as she spoke.

“Don’t worry, if you sleep with someone it’ll be me, this kind of good thing, how can I let him have it? It’s just that I want to fish myself a meal. “Carelessly” talk about Dream Jade getting threatened, then “carelessly” state that I am a bodyguard. Such a perfect plan!” Chen Min laughed, causing Xiao Yi to get goosebumps and a sense of foreboding.

The sumptuous breakfast dishes arrived one after the other. At this moment, the restaurant’s manager personally sent over a bottle of imported red wine.

“We didn’t order this, did we?” Xiao Yi wondered.

“Respected young lady and sir, this red wine is a gift by Mr. Wu over there. Please, have a taste.” The manager, who was exactly like a British waiter, opened the bottle of red wine. Then, he poured half a glass for Chen Min and Xiao Yi.

“Alright, now say “eggplant[21]” with me.” Chen Min signaled to Xiao Yi while reaching for the glass. Then, he turned his head towards Wu Neng with a fake smile and lifted it in thanks. This was counted as being acquainted.

As expected, not long after having started their meal, Wu Neng, who was carrying a wine glass, walked over. “Hello you two, was the red wine to your liking?”

“A young Château Cheval Blanc, compared to Château Lafite Rothschild from 82 is a bit lacking. Mr. Wu Neng is rather stingy.”

“Oh? Sir knows me?” Wu Neng said with surprise.

“You’re a famous first class agent, who doesn’t know you? Even though you[22] are very low key, but being a bodyguard, I should know the face of every single famous person.” Chen Min’s so called “accidently” already became deliberately, “If you don’t mind, why don’t you sit down and drink a glass together?”

“Seems like today, you two came here just for me. You even specially made an unpolished jade of the entertainment industry[23] come to entice me. To continue shirking away would be pretentious[24].” Wu Neng was also had quite the demeanour. Just like this, he sat at Xiao Yi’s side. Still smiling, he handed a business card to Xiao Yi, “I don’t care what relationship he has with you, I just like to unearth beautiful potential. If you want to become a celebrity, please call the number on top and look for me.”

“Mr. Wu Neng, it’s hard to find a good assistant nowadays. Just do me a favour and don’t dig up my people[25].” Chen Min said while savouring the red wine, “I heard that recently you ran into some trouble?”

“Are you talking about meeting you?” Wu Neng answered back sarcastically. To be able to pinpoint his whereabouts meant that the man in front of him was not simple. Wu Neng braced himself 120%[26].

“Mr. Wu Neng must be joking. What I’m talking about is Ms. Dream Jade receiving threatening letters.”

“A public figure receiving some threatening letters is a small matter that occasionally happens. I’ve been in the business for so long, whether or not it’s strange is something I would see early on. It’s just that my house’s[27] Dream Jade is a bit timid, so the paparazzi were able to say these things. I’ve troubled you.”

“What I meant to say was, are you interested in hiring a bodyguard? Although I’m the best in this field, I just started business. So I can give you a discount.” Chen Min’s arrogant appearance made it seem as if he was accepting a job that someone begged him to take[28], and was full of provocation.

Feeling somewhat nervous, Xiao Yi simply didn’t input anything into the conversation. She could only lower her head and drink her soup.

“It’s nothing, I’ve already bought a dog for my house’s, Dream Jade. We shouldn’t need to make use of you.” Wu Neng too said with hostility[29].

Right at this moment, Chen Min suddenly kicked Xiao Yi’s leg under the table. Only the entire bowl of soup in front of Xiao Yi spill onto Wu Neng’s crotch area with “hua la” could be seen. It was so hot that his face became red[30].

“You, look at you! So careless. Quickly wipe!” Chen Min nervously handed Xiao Yi a pile of tissue paper.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Swallowing her grievance, Xiao Yi could only lower her head and wipe the spilt soup for Wu Neng. Suddenly the “kacha” sound of someone taking a picture could be heard. Both Wu Neng and Xiao Yi immediately noticed that something was wrong, and looked at Chen Min, who was opposite them and raising his phone.

“Famous agent not moral in the least[31], getting a blowjob from a beautiful woman in public place. Do you think that this title can get me a job as a bodyguard?”

From the photo, one could see, Wu Neng enjoyably sitting there. And on the table, it just so happened that one could see Xiao Yi’s back hair. This coincidentally verified Chen Min’s headline.

“People who frame me, normally don’t have a good end.” A cold light flashed in Wu Neng’s eyes.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m exactly this sort of destined to not have “a good end” type of man.” Chen Min straight-up laughed like a devil.

———————————————————————————————————————

[1] 催命鬼 – A ghost that pushes someone to their death.

[2] 敲出感觉来的沈冥还编起了顺口溜- basically the way he said it was a sing-song voice in tune with the rhythmic knocking of the door… yeah it doesn’t translate/flow well

[3]一大清早号丧呢 – … it means a funeral very early in the morning…………. Here’s my boss’s explanation 一大清早：很早的早上。号丧：哭丧

Early morning: very early in the morning. Funeral: complaint

[4] That’s supposed to be RMB not Yen btw, just that my pc types the symbol for RMB as Yen for some reason.

[5] this part wasn’t clear

[6] Author’s views not mine/ours. Xianxiaworld has no relation to the author other than translating this novel. We do not share his views nor do we advocate and/or approve of them. We are merely starting them.

[6] some parts here don’t translate well but don’t affect the overall meaning e.g. 吗 basically this part is supposed to be read in a tense and suspicious tone

[7] sex

[8]开副本的方式不对 means that today is different from normal days

[9] raws said 北海(beihai) not 林海(linhai) most like either author’s mistake or different city. The next line said that it was a hotel in Lin Hai City so I’m assuming mistake

[10] 煎蛋。 煎=pan fried 蛋=egg it refers to an egg that is fried in a pan. However, it can refer to anything ranging from omelette to scrambled to sunny-side up http://image.baidu.com/search/index?tn=baiduimage&ct=201326592&lm=-1&cl=2&word=%E7%85%8E%E8%9B%8B

[11] http://image.so.com/v?src=rel&q=%E9%A4%90%E5%89%8D%E6%93%A6%E6%89%8B%E6%AF%9B%E5%B7%BE&fromurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ipeen.com.tw%2Fcomment%2F877396#src=rel&q=%E9%A4%90%E5%89%8D%E6%93%A6%E6%89%8B%E6%AF%9B%E5%B7%BE&fromurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ipeen.com.tw%2Fcomment%2F877396&lightboxindex=5&id=064631710210ed515c60e06efff02dd2&multiple=0&itemindex=0&dataindex=21

[12] 别乱动 – in singlish: don’t anyhow move. In english – I have no idea+

[13] While we’re at it, Dream Jade is probably her stage name rather than her actual name. 梦(meng) means dream 琪(qi) means fine jade(the xianxia kind) but can also refer to beautiful women apparently(google images/ 百度图片 it you won’t get anything remotely resembling jade) p.s. Get ready for r-18 stuff if you use 百度图片

[14] Wu is the surname and doesn’t mean anything. On a side note, 吴能 is read/said the same way as 无能(incapable) which also means impotent… 能(neng) means capable btw. So his parents probably named him that with good intentions. If only his surname wasn’t 无吴… poor guy… I feel bad for him…

[15] NOT the adult one, the normal one

[16] popular

[17] 一蹶不振 – to not recover after a setback

[18]钓鱼执法 – In english it’s called 执法圈套(entrapment)

http://www.baike.com/wiki/%E9%92%93%E9%B1%BC%E6%89%A7%E6%B3%95&prd=so_1_doc

[19] 妈蛋=mother’s egg

[20] apparently in China, it’s an unspoken rule that every knows for actress and what not, to have sex with their bosses.

[21] 茄子 eggplant. Used in the same as a word to say before taking a photo e.g. cheese

[22] 您 respectful way to say you

[23]一位当明星的上好璞玉

当明星- Be a celebrity 上好璞玉 – unpolished jade

[24] 再推脱就显得矫情了 再- again 推脱- evade; shirk 显- obvious;blatant

矫情 – http://ce.linedict.com/dict.html#/cnen/entry/bb67eebbef504c02b1397b20dde18e54

https://translate.google.com.sg/#zh-CN/en/%E7%9F%AB%E6%83%85

http://www.ichacha.net/%E7%9F%AB%E6%83%85.html

http://www.baidu.com/s?ie=utf-8&f=3&rsv_bp=0&rsv_idx=1&tn=baidu&wd=%E7%9F%AB%E6%83%85%E6%98%AF%E4%BB%80%E4%B9%88%E6%84%8F%E6%80%9D&rsv_pq=a3758daf0008bb13&rsv_t=ca1bgFFseQDHrh93FrvHMOLwTn0rOFLPIPymOBHpI9rohagb1eO%2FQouBGrE&rqlang=cn&rsv_enter=1&rsv_sug3=4&rsv_sug1=2&rsv_sug7=100&rsv_sug2=0&prefixsug=%E7%9F%AB%E6%83%85&rsp=0&inputT=3499&rsv_sug4=3500

http://zhidao.baidu.com/link?url=fkwu1AE_Zb4q6V9MNuCmMNFaPzUrd_d8u86nLpxAbbdtiRlZENuupRb3p6NnQb-wmIn_GbyuYkAw2bszOnCtGq

🙂

[25]你就别挖我的人了- direct TL is you just don’t dig my people already. The connotations and implications are completely wrong so I took liberties with this part. P.S it’s read in a friendly tone used between friends.

[26]打起精神- http://www.iciba.com/%E6%89%93%E8%B5%B7%E7%B2%BE%E7%A5%9E

http://danci.911cha.com/%E6%89%93%E8%B5%B7%E7%B2%BE%E7%A5%9E.html

[27] Word used is 家 which means house but in this case it’s meant to emphasize closeness of relationship. Generally used when referring to one’s daughter or son.

[28] 应聘 http://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%BA%94%E8%81%98/268210

[29] 剑拔弩张 – daggers drawn situation ; at each other’s throats

[30] 烫得他的脸都红了- Faces can turn red due to pain too. Hot Soup on crotch is something that’s bound to hurt

[31] 毫不检点 The word here isn’t exactly moral but I couldn’t find the right one.

Boss’s explanation: 不检点：行为举止不端正，不正派，后来被人用来说淫荡

On a side note I get the feeling I’ve made a new record for most TL Notes…. *cough cough* I’d like to thank you readers for your contin- fuck this I hate making speeches.