Hagakure Sakura Does Not Lament - CH 71
Her “Love”
Translated by LyraDhani
Edited by LyraDhani
After the encounter with Hagakure Sakura, Chidori ran into the restroom and gently wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.
“–Oh, thank goodness.”
Chidori muttered in a voice filled with relief.
–Chidori’s feelings toward Hagakure Sakura were indescribable guilt and creeping fear.
When Mebuki suggested the DNA test, the first thing Chidori felt was fear. This was not the first time someone had questioned her blood relation with Tsugumi. Other than Mebuki, Chidori had also been pointed out by innocent friends and mindless adults that they weren’t “look-alike”.
Each time, Chidori suffered as if her feet were falling off the ground.
The only clue to the past was left at hand. In the photo of “Sakura-neechan” and Tsugumi, Chidori was not in the picture. It was as if to prove that Chidori was not included in the “family”. This fact weighed heavily on Chidori.
The “Sakura-neechan” in her memory always smiled kindly. But why? The smile that she used to recognize as kind now felt terribly cold.
–It was probably due to uncontrollable self-loathing.
The reason why Tsugumi so blindly adored Chidori (sister) might be because he was unconsciously overlapping her real sister with Chidori. Such unfounded fears floated in and out of her mind.
Chidori, who had no memory of her past, was left with only one family member: Tsugumi. If Chidori and Tsugumi were not sisters and brothers, who in the world should the person called “Chidori Nanase” live for as emotional support? She was scared to death when she thought about it.
The daily life with Tsugumi together was peaceful and contented, but she felt anxious at any moment as if her chest was constricted.
Even after she entered high school, that uneasiness remained, and like a smoldering flame, it grew more and more.
It was at this time that the Magical Girl, Hagakure Sakura, appeared.
That Magical Girl, who looked a lot like Tsugumi, or rather “Sakura-neechan,” quickly rose to the C-class from the start of her activities, and became famous after her miraculous survival in the battle against Radon at the end of the year.
The moment Chidori heard on the bus that day that Hagakure Sakura was going to fight a Demonic Beast, she felt like she had been caught up in the past that she had been running away from. As if telling her there was no escape.
She didn’t know if that girl was the same person as “Sakura-neechan”. But it was hard to believe that someone so look-alike could be unrelated.
–If she was Tsugumi’s blood relative, how would she feel about Chidori taking the place of “Sakura-neechan”? With this thought in mind, Chidori did not want to get too involved with Hagakure Sakura.
However, after this chance encounter, she was able to judge that Hagakure Sakura would not make any contact with Tsugumi, although she didn’t know how she felt about it inwardly. If what she said was true, she and Tsugumi were unrelated, and if she was actually related to Tsugumi, the fact that she deliberately pretended not to know would mean that she had no intention of getting involved.
–So at the time, Chidori was relieved to hear her response.
As long as Hagakure Sakura didn’t get involved, Tsugumi surely wouldn’t remember “Sakura-neechan”. …If Tsugumi’s memories came back, Chidori and Tsugumi probably wouldn’t be able to have the same relationship as before.
Fortunately, Tsugumi was not interested in Hagakure Sakura and did not seem to be particularly bothered by her appearance on TV or other media. In fact, he seemed to be more fed up with the trouble he was getting into because of their resemblance.
In contrast to Chidori, who was worried about their blood ties, Tsugumi had no doubt in the slightest that they were siblings. He probably didn’t know how much it had saved Chidori’s life.
–Perhaps that’s why. Chidori’s feeling for Tsugumi was deeper than familial love.
The way he acted, the way he laughed. His face when he was angry, his voice when he was depressed. All of these things made Chidori’s heart flutter.
It was too faint and too heavy to be called love.
Chidori would surely never let go of Tsugumi’s hand in the future. Even if he hated her, she wanted to stay by his side. Such a stand would never be possible for a “lover”.
Therefore, Chidori covered her own feelings. She tried to think that this affection was familial love, not infatuation.
Whether they were blood-related or not, thinking that way would save Chidori’s heart from being hurt.
If they were siblings – if she said they were siblings, she could stay with Tsugumi all the time. And since Tsugumi was a kind person, he would never refuse a request from his “sister”.
–It was like a curse.
“…I’m the worst.”
Chidori muttered with a crying smile. The cute little brother (Tsugumi) didn’t know anything about such an ugly side.
“–But that’s the path my sister has chosen.”
“Shiro-chan…”
The white rabbit who had been sitting on her shoulder without her realizing–Chidori’s contract God–said in a resolute voice.
“Chidori. You swore at that time that you would ‘stand by your brother’s side no matter what’. Then you should stick to it. Because you are his sister.”
“Yeah, that’s right…”
Then, after cooling her reddened eyes a bit, Chidori returned to her department.
It was long past break time, but they might have guessed a lot from the look in her eyes that she was crying. In this workplace where co-workers often die, there were more people crying in hiding than one might imagine. They must have misunderstood the reason for Chidori’s tears that way.
After completing her work within the allotted time and returning home, she found Tsugumi preparing dinner at home. Wearing a black apron, he was working in the kitchen, humming a tune.
“Welcome home. Dinner will be ready soon.”
“Thank you. Is that fried food I smell?”
“Yes, taranome and kisu tempura. I made takikomi gohan because we have bamboo shoots. The main course is oily, can you eat it?”
Turning around, Tsugumi said worriedly. He was probably worried about Chidori, who had been eating poorly of late.
“It’s okay. …But you’ve done a lot of work this time. Everything seems to be in season.”
“Hmm, I guess it’s because I’ve been enjoying eating a little more lately. I even have a part-time job for my foodie pleasure.”
“A part-time job is good, but don’t overdo it. It’s nice of you to buy me souvenirs, but do it in moderation.”
Tsugumi seemed to have started working part-time around the beginning of February. The reason for this was that he felt bad about staying at home while Chidori was working for the government. When the matter of working for the government was brought up, Chidori couldn’t complain.
On the weekends, she was occasionally sent across the country to secure travel routes, and the time with Tsugumi was significantly reduced. Perhaps Tsugumi was feeling lonely in his own way.
He didn’t tell her about the part-time job because it was “embarrassing”, but by the looks of it, Chidori thought it must be restaurant-related.
If there was a problem, it was Tsugumi’s spending. Tsugumi often went away for the weekend, and every time he did, he came back with expensive souvenirs. At first, she thought he was just spending his first part-time job salary, but after a few times of this, she began to worry.
It seemed he had not touched the living expenses given to him by his guardian, Yozuru, but considering the future financial situation, it was not a good idea for Tsugumi to get into the habit of spending money.
Tsugumi smiled vaguely and said, “I’ll be careful”, but by the looks of it, he probably didn’t take it too seriously. If he came back with another expensive souvenir next time, a reprimand might be in order.
…I’ll ask for Mebuki-senpai’s help then. Chidori sat deeply on the sofa while thinking about this. Shiro was not available this evening. Apparently, he had something to do.
“By the way, how is Chidori going to spend Golden Week?”
While carrying the plate with food on it, Tsugumi asked the question.
“I’m going to show up at the kendo club’s training camp as usual. …I can’t attend the tournament, but I can help and support them in their training.”
Although she lost her qualification to participate in tournaments after becoming a Magical Girl, Chidori still showed up at the kendo club when she had time and helped with training. When she announced that she was quitting the club, the other club members pleaded with her. Chidori did not think it was particularly difficult because she could check how to move her body, which had improved her physical ability.
“I see. I promised to hang out with my friends on the last Saturday, so I was wondering if Chidori would like to join me, but then it can’t be helped.”
“A friend? Is it one of your classmates? Tsugumi must be on good terms with them. Whenever I see them in the hallway, they talk about how’s Tsugumi doing.”
“…No, those guys just want to talk to Chidori. And this time it’s not a classmate. Yukitaka also said he’s going on a cruise with his rich sister for the holidays.”
Chidori laughed at Tsugumi’s answer. Apparently, Tsugumi’s friend, Amari, was still the same.
“Then, –Who in the world is it? The only other mutual acquaintance I know of is Mebuki-senpai.”
“Suzushiro and Mibu. Chidori also exchanged contact information with them, right?”
–Gachang.
The moment Tsugumi’s words reached her ears, Chidori dropped the bowl he handed over. The rice spilled a little on the table.
“Whoa, are you all right? It doesn’t look broken, but I’ll have to add more.”
Tsugumi laughed, saying he had cooked more. Chidori looked at him with puzzled eyes and opened her mouth.
“Sure, we exchanged contacts, but I’ve only done a few greetings. Besides, they’re like my superiors …I’m surprised you two get along well enough to go out and have fun…”
While talking about this, Chidori thought about the reason why Suzushiro and Mibu became friends with Tsugumi.
–He wasn’t aware of it but there was something about Tsugumi that attracted a special kind of person.
Including his classmates, who were considered problem children, Amari, who was a paragon of bad behavior, and Mebuki, who was called the school’s prodigy–all of them adored him.
The two Rikka, a handful of chosen ones, was probably also attracted to Tsugumi’s peculiarity.
Thinking so, Chidori looked at Tsugumi.
…In this situation, it didn’t look like it was going to be a love affair.
When he talked about the two of them, Tsugumi didn’t show signs of being self-conscious. He seemed to be enjoying himself, but there was no hint of infatuation. It seemed he really intended to go out as “just a friend”.
“You don’t have to worry about me this time. Have fun.”
Chidori laughed and said so, and Tsugumi opened his mouth, smiling gently.
“Yeah… If you have more time off in the summer, let’s go on a trip somewhere together. I haven’t been able to hang out much with Chidori lately.”
“I guess so. … I’ll have some money for my part-time job, and it might be nice to stretch my wings a bit.”
Tsugumi’s thoughtfulness warmed her heart.
–Oh, I wish this peaceful happiness can last longer. Thinking of this, Chidori reached for a hot meal.