Hagakure Sakura Does Not Lament - CH 77

Spinning Things

Translated by LyraDhani

Edited by LyraDhani

Although he said they would search together, Yumeji did not seem to be that eager to search for her father. She looked around as she walked, but it seemed her eyes were on women rather than men. …Maybe she was looking for someone else?

“Hey, Yumeji-san. You seem to be looking at women since earlier, could it be that you know someone else besides your father?”

When Tsugumi asked this question, Yumeji looked surprised and held her mouth, perhaps because he had hit the bull’s eyes. She then lowered her eyebrows in a dejected manner and began to speak in a thoughtful tone.

“Actually, that’s right. I forced myself to attend today’s party in order to meet that person. That’s why I intentionally separated myself from Otousama as well …I’m sorry for being so deceitful. But it looks like that person is not coming today after all. Because of what happened during the day…”

“During the day? By any chance, is the person you’re looking for…”

“Yes. Hitsugi Airi of Jukka.”

To Tsugumi’s question, Yumeji answered with a firm nod.

–The only person who had made a commotion during the day today was Hitsugi. But what is the connection between her and this girl?

Perhaps the question was evident in Tsugumi’s expression, Yumeji began to explain the situation with an apologetic look.

“The other day, when I entered my dead sister’s room for the first time in a while, I happened to find an envelope addressed to Hitsugi-san. It was taped to the backboard of her desk, so the rest of the family probably couldn’t find it. I think it must have been very important to her since she hid it in that place. …So I thought I should give it to her instead. When my sister was alive, I couldn’t do anything for her…”

Saying this, Yumeji looked down sadly.

He had heard from Itadori that her sister was already deceased, but he didn’t know the details. It seemed she had chosen to die because of frictions that only a famous family could cause, but he wondered how much despair she must have felt to choose death for herself. It might be happier to not understand such things…

“My sister had an aptitude as a Magical Girl, and the family and all the members of the clan had high expectations of her. She had excellent grades as a candidate, and she had good relationships with the older Magical Girls who had graduated from the candidate program. –But my sister was not chosen by God. No matter how many times she stepped into the ‘God’s Room’, she never got a call. More candidates who came in later were overtaking her, and my sister’s heart was completely broken. She gave up and tried to study to become a government official, but Otousama wouldn’t allow it. They kept my sister locked up in the house and kept trying to convince her to go back to the candidate program every day. …As a result, my sister chose to die on her own.”

“…What should I say? At the very least, I don’t think that’s what a proper parent would do.”

“I think so too now. But I was six years old at the time, I couldn’t think that my parents were wrong. …I always thought it was my sister’s fault. So when my sister was being blamed, I just kept quiet and watched. I am really a terrible sister.”

Saying this, Yumeji laughed bitterly. The expression on her face was not the kind of expression one would expect to see on the face of an elementary school student. It was a look of regret and remorse.

“Actually, I also have the aptitude to be a Magical Girl, and I’m expected to be a candidate next year. …But I am afraid. Even if I am lucky enough to be chosen by a God, I don’t think I can fight. –I even found the Demonic Beast I saw that day terrifying from the bottom of my heart…!”

“Yu-Yumeji-san, calm down. –There’s nothing to be afraid of here.”

Gently supporting Yumeji, who began to shake and tremble, he moved to the wall to get away from the crowded area.

–A flashback of horror. The events at that Amusement Park had deeply scarred her. According to Itadori, she sometimes shivered like this, remembering her fear of Demonic Beasts at a moment’s notice. …Asking her to become a Magical Girl in this condition was too much.

“Ah, Otousama always told me not to be like my sister. He praised me when I did well in school. I didn’t want to be hated, so I wanted to live up to that expectation. –But it’s impossible. I can’t do it. I’m sure I’ll die soon. ….My sister will probably be angry if she heard me whining like this. I have the potential to become a Magical Girl, and I try to throw it away on my own.”

–It was like a confession. The words came out in a rambling, unceasing stream, and Yumeji spun them out with a somber expression.

“I was so scared and in so much pain that I wanted to apologize to someone, so I ran into my sister’s room. I knew there was no one there anymore. But when I crouched down on the floor crying, I found this envelope. I thought to myself at that moment. –‘Oh, I must have been entrusted with this letter. If I could give this letter to Hitsugi-san, I would be forgiven by my sister’ – I thought, shallowly. Even though that’s  just a selfish fantasy.”

“Yumeji-san, that’s enough. It’s all right. –Don’t blame yourself anymore. It’s not your fault.”

Rubbing Yumeji’s back as tears streamed down her face, he gently wiped her tears with a handkerchief.

“It’s your choice whether or not to become a Magical Girl. Even if it is your own parents, they shouldn’t talk to you unnecessarily. –It’s okay to run away if you are afraid. No one has the right to criticize you for it. Yes, not even God.”

It was inhumane to forcibly drag a child who insisted she didn’t want to fight to the battlefield.

To want such a child to fight, he could only assume it was a special propensity. If there was a God who would choose this child, it would not be a good God.

“Hagakure-san. …The only people who said that to me were my friend and a brother I knew. Everyone else told me that since I had so much talent, I should become a Magical Girl …Can I really decide for myself?”

With clinging eyes, Yumeji looked up at Tsugumi. The eyes were moist, red and bloodshot, and very pained.

Tsugumi touched Yumeji’s cheeks with both hands and brought her face closer to remind her.

“You have to make your own decision. –If your parents complain about it, you can talk to me. I’m not that good at persuasion, but I’m sure they’ll listen a little if it’s from Jukka.”

–Yumeji’s parents probably had a strong desire to prove themselves. Such people were usually vulnerable to external pressure from those in higher positions. If he made a few bitter remarks and suggest that they go public with this matter, her parents would probably shake their heads, albeit reluctantly.

….Well, this would be a last resort as he didn’t really want to use it.

When Tsugumi smiled softly to reassure her, Yumeji finally relaxed her shoulders and broke the hard look on her face.

“Thank you, Hagakure-san. I’m really happy just to hear you say that.”

”You don’t have to worry about it. …I know someone who can’t fight Demonic Beasts.”

He chuckled softly and thought back to Chidori. Chidori had experienced several battles in the simulator in between her work in the government, but she had yet to defeat a humanoid or animal-like Demonic Beast. Insects and inorganic shapes were fine, so it was probably more a matter of feeling than ability.

…Surely, the act of taking the life of a living creature was not for Chidori. He wished she just concentrated on the transportation and gave up fighting as soon as possible.

As he thought so, Yumeji clasped his hands tightly in front of her chest as if she had made up her mind to do something, and looked at Tsugumi with strong-willed eyes.

“Um, Hagakure-san. Please take this.”

“Eh? But this is your sister’s letter, isn’t it?”

“Yes.  I want Hagakure-san to give it to Hitsugi-san. I really want to give it to her in person, but I don’t know when it will happen.”

“I don’t mind but is that really okay?”

When Tsugumi asked that question, Yumeji smiled beautifully, as if something was blown out of portion.

“It’s okay. I’m sure I’ll see Hitsugi-san someday. –Just like my sister who aspired to become a government official and help Magical Girls, I am going to aim for that as well. Besides, my friend is probably going to become a Magical Girl, so I want to help her as much as I can.”

Yumeji said and took out her cell phone from the small bag in her hand, then checked the screen and let out a small sigh.

“…It seems my father is going home soon. He said he’s waiting for me near the boat’s boarding gate, so I’d better get going.”

“Shall I walk you there?”

“It’s okay. –I can’t monopolize everyone’s Hagakure-san any longer.”

Saying so, Yumeji laughed mischievously and made a beautiful bow holding the edge of her long dress.

“Have a good day. –Thank you very much for today.”

“Yes. Please be careful on your way home.”

Watching Yumeji’s back as she walked away, Tsugumi exhaled softly. When she left, he slipped the contact information of “Hagakure Sakura” into Yumeji’s bag, so she would be able to contact him if anything happened. He couldn’t stand idly by and watched a person he’d come to know so well being driven into a corner mentally.

–Anyway, this letter. What should I do?

He could give it to Hitsugi with an indifferent face, but this was a different matter.

…The “junior who said she wanted to become a government official” that Hitsugi talked about before was probably the sender of this letter–Yumeji Yotsuba. But can a work written in a state of mind before death be considered legitimate?

If Hitsugi was severely depressed because of this letter, it would result in no one being saved.

…Worst of all, it might be better to revise the contents of the letter once, though it was bad for the sender. For Tsugumi, the person living now was more important than the will of the deceased.

–The party ended without any major problems. According to what Sobi told him later, Hitsugi came to show her face only once and she just said hello to a few people before leaving early. It seemed she was coughing a little, so he wondered if she was really all right.

◆◆◆

The next day after the party was over. Tsugumi came to school, dragging his tired body in unfamiliar clothes. He changed his shoes at the entrance and was about to go up the stairs when his arm was grabbed tightly from behind.

“S-Suzune-sensei?”

Before the startled Tsugumi could ask what was wrong, Suzune pulled Tsugumi with an impatient look on her face. The destination was an unoccupied preparation room right next to the stairs.

He could have shaken her off, but Suzune’s desperate expression made him decide to follow her in silence.

After entering the preparation room, Suzune closed the door and opened her mouth with a grim look.

“…Nanase-kun’s sister. Chidori-san is in the government today, right?”

“Ah, yes. I heard that she will be there all day today. I think she reported her official absence, but what’s wrong with that?”

When Tsugumi responded, Suzune looked a little troubled and opened her trembling lips.

“I saw some footage of yesterday’s party on television this morning, and there was one thing that bothered me.”

“…Heh, what is it?”

Tsugumi braced himself for another Hagakure Sakura-related issue, but what came out of Suzune’s mouth were words he did not expect.

“The person who was seen in the video for a brief moment – Hitsugi Airi – has a pitch-black thread entangled in her body. I have never seen threads of that color before.”

“Black threads?”

“Yes. I don’t know the details either, but the moment I saw it, I couldn’t stop shaking. I had a bad feeling about it and I contacted Yukino-san just in case, but I think it would be better for Chidori-san to stay away from Hitsugi-san if possible. Before it’s too late for anything to happen.”

Suzune said with a look of terrible worry on her face. Tsugumi exhaled a small breath, trying hard to suppress his upset heart.

–Calm down. It is not yet confirmed that Hitsugi will die. Suzune said she isn’t sure about the “black thread”. I shouldn’t assume.

“Suzune-sensei. –Thank you for telling me. I will contact Chidori.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. I’m just curious.”

When Tsugumi thanked her, Suzune laughed, as if relieved. She probably thought it was a ridiculous story. Maybe she was worried whether Tsugumi would believe her or not.

…But her intuition was often right. Tsugumi himself knew this.

After parting with Suzune and leaving the preparation room, Tsugumi jumped into a blind spot behind the stairs, transformed, and activated the Transportation. The destination was the government – the department where Chidori worked.

Suppressing his urgency, he prayed desperately. –Please make it in time.