Hard to Escape - Chapter 10.2

Candle: Another short chapter, another 2-part-er

Right when I woke up a streak of lightning flashed across the window, followed by a rumble of thunder. The room was a swath of darkness, and I was no longer holding Yin Li’s hand. Feeling around, I realized that I was alone.

This feeling of abandonment suddenly scared me. Once again, unfamiliar faces began unremittingly flashing in my mind. My feelings continued to grow, and I felt panicked.

I didn’t want to stay here a moment longer. I climbed out of bed by myself, and feeling my way forwards, I blindly made my way out of the room.

“Yin Li! Yin Li! Yin Li, where are you?” Without even putting on my slippers, I had rushed out. I just wanted to escape from that room of nightmares. But in my frenzy, I forgot to turn on the lights, and I could only wander the dark hallway calling Yin Li’s name. My distressed voice echoed with an eerie vibrato.

Disregarding everything, I called out his name like a despairing traveler lost in the jungle.

“I’m over here.” Then I finally heard the voice I was waiting for.

Yin Li walked around the corner of the stairs. I stopped him just as he moved to the light switch. “Don’t turn the lights on.” I didn’t want him to see my face that was currently covered in tears.

“I only left to get a glass of water. Don’t worry, I’m here.” Yin Li didn’t make a fuss over my strange behavior, he only tenderly rubbed my head.

I hugged him, leaning against him without a word.

Outside, as sheets of rain poured down from the sky, lightning flashed and thunder rolled. I lay in his lap, breathing in the faint scent of tobacco on his clothes. But I could sense that I was in a dangerous situation. I had already come to depend on Yin Li too much.

I couldn’t discern when this dependence and intimacy had began to take root. Perhaps from the moment I opened my eyes in the hospital. Or perhaps when he had gently scrubbed the kitten’s ears. Or perhaps it was now. Regardless, I knew it was irrational.

Just like my past, Yin Li was impossible to unravel. I didn’t know how much of what was between us was real or fake. I didn’t know whether he was a flawless actor or whether he was showing his true self. I didn’t know anything.

I had chosen a bad time to develop feelings for someone I shouldn’t have considered. But as I lay in his arms, I somehow felt that this development wasn’t the worst thing to have happened.

In the darkness, Yin Li held my hand and led me through the hallway, through the courtyard, and finally back to my bedroom, where he helped me back in bed.

“Get some sleep, Yan Xiao.” Yin Li tucked the blankets in for me and then quietly sat by my side.

After the tumultuous events of the evening, I closed my eyes yet couldn’t fall asleep. Upon opening my eyes, I found that Yin Li was silently looking at me with a complicated expression. In the depths of his eyes, there seemed to swim a murderous severity. When he saw that I’d opened my eyes, his eyes flashed and his expression quickly changed back into a warm, harmless one, as if what I’d just witnessed was all merely part of a nightmare I’d now awoken from.

“Why did you wake up?” Perhaps because of a lack of sleep, his voice was low and ambiguous.

I looked at that male silhouette in the dark and suddenly felt as if time was warped backwards. As if in the past, he’d never belonged to me. This realization sent my heart into a panic. My mind was a mess. Those memories were like the scattered pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and every piece was currently trying its hardest to return to its rightful spot. But the image they wanted to complete didn’t seem to be what I wanted to see.

I shook my head and then looked up at Yin Li. I said a bit nonsensically, “Why don’t you read a book to me? I can’t sleep. Before—in the memories I remembered from before—it seemed like every time there was a thunderstorm at night and I couldn’t sleep, there would always been someone who’d read me a story, and then I wouldn’t be scared anymore.”

Yin Li seemed to be surprised at this suggestion. He paused distractedly before asking, “Is any book fine?”

I could tell that he wasn’t very fond of my suggestion, and I also felt a little embarrassed. As an adult, this sort of behavior looked ridiculously childish and a bit spoiled. Under Yin Li’s attentive gaze, I hurriedly nodded. “Anything is fine, as long as you read me something. It’s too quiet, making me feel uneasy.”

A moment later, Yin Li came back with a few books.

“Game Theory, The History of Roman Architecture, An Introduction to Greek History.” His voice sounded a bit helpless. “There’s only these types of books in this house. I don’t have any fairy tales, light-hearted adventures, or love stories. Do you still want to listen?”

I determinedly nodded my head, persisting anyway.1 Wanting to close the distance between us, and maybe get more familiar with each other, I added, “If you can read all the books like this in your bookcase to me, I might just learn some self-restraint and become an intellectual.” Then I continued unabashedly, “I have a feeling that in the past, I loved reading these types of books too! Our tastes are so similar!”

1 The original text uses the idiom 义无反顾 to describe how Yan Xiao nods her head. It translates to “honor does not allow one to look back” and means like…not regretting your choices; no surrender; etc.

Yin Li looked at me but I didn’t dare meet his gaze. I could only lift my head and stare at the ceiling. Then smooth sound of his voice flowed through the room like a stream as he started reading. With great effort, I forced my eyes open and tried to concentrate, attempting to look as if I was paying attention to an interesting subject. It was a pity that by the time he got to Socrates, and was preparing to move on to Plato, my head crooked to the side and I fell asleep, forgetting about all my earthly troubles. I was not meant to be an elegant person.

When I woke up the next day, I found Yin Li slumped by my bed, asleep. In the morning light, his face had an unguarded innocence, giving him a kind of artless beauty. There was no sign of those expressions that made me feel uneasy or panicked. Underneath his eyes were dark circles, making anyone who saw him have their hearts inexplicably soften.

In that moment, I decided to like Yin Li, to pursue him, and to entangle him. If he liked me too, that would be the best scenario. If he didn’t, then I would pressure him until he did.

Author’s Note:

Today I gambled and lost… *rubs face* I’m a pure and innocent jujube~ Even if I’m going to write something steamy, it’d only be until later. There can’t be any doubts in the relationship~ *sticks hands on hips and laughs like a maniac* Their feelings still need to develop. When it gets to the peak, I’ll throw in a wrench. Then when it reaches the peak again, I’ll throw in another plot wrench. Then again and again and again~ Ohonhonhon. Oh btw, Yin Li’s feelings toward Yan Xiao are a bit complicated~

I’ve been planning to write 6 novels so the short stories will be published at random intervals~

Feel free to bookmark them so that when I start, you get a notification ><

When I get back, I plan to slowly write them all TT

One last thing!!!!!!! Because of the website’s server problems, and because of my book Famous Overnight was brigaded by the fans of some popular book, I need to take care of some matters and comfort some of you. I feel irritated and might need to skip updating on either Saturday or Sunday.

Those who haven’t read Famous Overnight are welcome to marathon it in one night. It’s already complete. Our slogan is “Always copied, never surpassed”! And it’s the authentic goods!

Famous Overnight, come read:

Chapter end