Hard to Escape - Chapter 11.2

A note from Candle:

So recently I got curious and decided to look up HTE to see if any aggregator sites are stealing our translations…and was somewhat surprised to see that indeed there are!! (I shouldn’t have been lol) So if you’re reading this on webnovel.us or webnovel.online or novelcool.org or whatever else there is out there, first I’d like to say that I personally disagree with reading on aggregator sites, but I also understand the appeal of it to some people.

For now, I have no plans of instituting workarounds to try to “dodge” these sites’ translation theft since to me, it’s like fighting an uphill battle and just not something I feel is worth the effort & frustration. Also, I regard this as a side hobby and way to improve my Chinese, so it doesn’t actually impact my livelihood the same way it does to other translators. And finally, I personally really love reading webnovels and it makes me happy to be able to spread the joys of webnovels as a fan translator. (Even though I don’t respond to comments anymore, I still very much appreciate your guys’ support and find it fun to read comments speculating on the story!) So therefore I personally want to avoid, for as long as possible, creating barriers that reduce the accessibility of these translations to readers. Even if those barriers deter translation theft.

However, even though I have the privilege to overlook translation theft, I know it does impact the livelihoods of many other translators out there in the community. So I’d like to make an appeal to those reading on aggregator sites: please make an effort to reciprocate the hard work of translators by avoiding the use of aggregator sites. Novelupdates.com is a great site with great functionality, and I promise that it really isn’t that much extra effort to use it. Really, the core difference is only that the link just redirects to the translator’s page. We all hope to be recognized and appreciated for our efforts in life, so I ask that you show the same respect to translators that you deserve as well. Thank you!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Yin Li seemed to feel moved. He pulled out his hand that had been stained by my falling tears, and cupped my face as he bent down to kiss me.

It was a deep, passionate kiss.

He then rested his nose against mine. In between light pecks on the corners of my lips, he enunciated, “Yan Xiao, you’re also all that I have.”

“I will forever be your shield, and always stay by your side.”

I felt slightly embarrassed. “Why must you choose a time when I’m such an emotional wreck to declare your feelings?”

Yin Li looked a bit stupefied for a second, but then a smile quickly appeared on his face. “It signifies that I don’t just love you for your looks.” Then he noticed the wound on my head and frowned. “How come this still hasn’t been treated? Did the accident cause any any more mental trauma? With two car accidents in a row, you might need to see a psychologist.”

I hurriedly waved my hand. “No need! I’m perfectly fine! And also Yin Li, I have some good news for you! I remembered you! I definitely remembered those things in the past! Are you happy? Can this be considered as our post-disaster luck?”1

1 Yan Xiao uses 因祸得福, an idiom that means “to profit from a disaster”. It’s used to describe when there’s some good that comes out of a bad situation.

However, not a single trace of excitement appeared on Yin Li’s face. He unexpectedly frowned and his expression even darkened. He looked at me sharply. “What did you remember?”

I felt a bit disheartened by his reaction, but I continued nevertheless. “Because I like lilies, you once sent me hundreds of them to cheer me up; you even de-shelled a lobster for me, getting your suit dirty. You had a meeting right after but didn’t have time to change, so you had no choice but to sport a large oil stain right over your chest on your jacket. Then there’s also the time you loudly confessed and asked for my hand in marriage, right outside my apartment. But I can’t really remember things too clearly. I can only remember this much. I can’t even recall your face or expression at those times.” By now I realized how quiet Yin Li had become. The look in his eyes make it seem like he was listening to someone else’s story.

But then he asked, “Did you remember anything else? Like how we met? Or what friends you had in the past? The things we did together?”

He rarely asked me so many questions but sadly, I had no answers for him. I could only honestly shake my head. “Nothing, I can’t remember anything else. My head hurts.”

I was somewhat apprehensive about Yin Li’s mood. “Are you unhappy?”

Hearing this, he finally showed a soft, faint smile. “I’m happy, very happy. But there’s no need to rush. Even if you can’t recall some things, don’t push yourself too hard. I don’t want you to suffer headaches. Don’t be afraid of forgetting the past. We can make even more new memories.”

I felt a bit disappointed. It always seemed like Yin Li wasn’t too enthusiastic about the prospect of me recovering all my memories. Or perhaps it was because out of all of the memories of our epic, glorious romance in the past, I remembered so little, making him feel a little gloomy. I felt a bit wronged, but I could only nod my head and inquire, “Since I’ve recovered a little of my memories, will you reward me by sending me lilies?”

Yin Li bent down and kissed my forehead, and then feigning indifference he said, “No, I won’t send you lilies. The ones you like are roses, so I’ll send you roses instead.”

“But didn’t you use to send me lilies?”

However, Yin Li didn’t want to continue on this topic. He simply said in a soft voice, “You remembered incorrectly, I’ve only sent you roses. It might be that your memories are still a little off. We don’t need to be too hung up on the past. Just treat those memories as things that have already passed. Don’t feel too burdened by them. After all, we live in the present.”

I wanted to retort that, to me, my past memories were part of my life’s experiences. Even if they were painful or unbearable, they still contained their own value and meaning. They weren’t something that I could just conveniently cast aside. Moreover, they contained parts of our past.

But when I looked up and saw Yin Li’s face, those words remained stuck on the tip of my tongue. His lips were a ghastly white and his skin looked sallow, the result of losing too much blood. There was a clear gash on his left cheek, which was clearly covered with antiseptic. But despite all that, his expression was warm.

I didn’t tell him that these few memories made me finally realize that Yin Li had truly been a part of my life, and that he wasn’t some distant, wandering figure passing by, that would eventually leave my side.

I suddenly had the feeling that becoming Yin Li’s fiancee was only natural. When I had first awoken with total amnesia from my accident, perhaps I really had been as the psychologist had said: rejecting anything foreign to me and suspicious of everything.

Author:
Huehuehue, the feelings have deepened. Huehuehue, the curtain has risen >< The angst will come slowly. *Perverted Author san wriggles with delight* ~~~ But don’t fret, the angst will have everyone feeling liberated! On Monday Aug 6, the update time will change to 8pm. Yesterday I had some trouble and couldn’t upload, so I took a one-day break. These days my sleep schedule has done a 180. I’ve been so busy that my health and mood have gotten worse. My head hurts every day. Thanks, everyone who comforted me on Weibo that day. Love you all. Once this novel hits 100k characters, I’ll decide on what story to write next and amass chapters. Lately I’ve been working very hard. Come give me encouragement ><

Candle: Btw, sorry the releases for chapter 11 have been so short guys… This chapter may be smol but hopefully it wasn’t lacking in emotion!! Also you may have noticed that this release came out earlier than usual, it’s cause Niang Niang and I decided to shift forward the release schedule.

From now on updates will be every Monday night 9pm EST/ 6pm PST!

Chapter end