Haru’s Love (A Stepbrothers BL Harem) - Chapter 19

Aiden knew something like this would happen the moment he stepped through the front door of the apartment and Reo’s voice came through, “Welcome back. Haru just texted. He’s staying at Jess’ place tonight.”

He’s avoiding me, was the first thing that came to Aiden’s mind. Of course, the boy would. He hadn’t expected anything less, especially after what had happened last night.

Doing his best to hide his turmoil of emotions, he said, “I see.”

Reo asked, “You okay?”

Aiden raised a brow. His voice firm, he said, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Reo looked at him for a moment. He was about to say something but then shrugged his broad shoulders. He asked instead, “Dinner?”

Aiden nodded, and Reo turned and went into the kitchen.

Aiden stood there for a moment, taking in a deep breath. Then he walked into his bedroom as he loosened his necktie. The moment he was inside, his eyes instantly strayed to the bed, and just like that, his heart skipped in his chest as waves of emotions washed over him.

Love. Joy. Uncertainty. Regret. Hurt. Fear. They all twisted like a raging inferno inside of him, making his head pound.

Images of Haru on that bed played clearly in his mind’s eye: Haru’s flushed face staring at him, him kissing Haru passionately, him sucking Haru off, him fucking Haru, and Haru groaning his name erotically.

Weak in the knees, Aiden sat on the side of the bed, his hand lightly touching the duvet. He picked up the pillow and hugged it tight in his arms as he buried his face against the softness of the material. He inhaled deeply, his chest quivering.

Haru’s scent danced and caressed his nostrils, and Aiden felt his body aching for the boy.

Haru’s scent. Fuck, he loved the boy’s smell. It never ceased to please him.

What happened? Had he hurt Haru last night? Well, of course he had, the little voice at the back of his head snapped at him. He was fucking the boy, and so damned full-out, too. He had been too eager and greedy. But how the hell was he to rein himself in when the boy he loved had offered him such an opportunity? When it had been like a dream come true?

It’d be all right. Perhaps Haru just needed space, that was all. The boy would come home tomorrow, and then everything would return to normal.

Normal. Did Aiden want that? Did he really want things back the way it had always been? Haru as his younger stepbrother? When they had already made love? Passionately.

Aiden raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. Fuck, but he felt like his heart was about to break any moment now.

A few knocks came at the door, and Isaac’s voice came through, “Aiden? Dinner.”

His voice hoarse, he said, “Yeah. Be there in a moment.”

“Okay.”

Aiden took a few deep breaths and then headed out the door. A moment later, he entered the kitchen-dining room where it was noisy, as usual. The brothers—Noah, Reo, Mason, and Isaac—were sitting around the table, helping themselves to the food, which was left over from yesterday evening’s feast.

Aiden headed over to the other side and poured himself a glass of wine. He desperately needed it. He downed the whole glass in one go. Then, because he was sure he wanted to be very drunk tonight, he took the whole bottle to the dining table.

Noah eyed him and said, “You intent on getting drunk on a Monday night?”

Aiden said, “I feel like I need it.”

Isaac, always the blunt one, said, “Just because Haru isn’t home?” He laughed. “You seriously can’t function properly without Haru, can you, bro?”

Aiden shot Isaac a dark look, which freaked Isaac out so much that he shrieked. He leaned close to Noah and asked, “What’s gotten into our bro?”

Noah said, “He’s depressed because his beloved isn’t home, naturally.”

“Shut up, Noah,” Aiden said as he helped himself to the food.

“So Haru isn’t home tonight,” Mason said. “That’s too bad because I was going to give him the good news.”

Aiden shift his gaze to Mason and asked, “What news?”

“My boss wants Haru to come into the bar tomorrow night for a trial. If Haru is good, then he’ll give him the job.”

Aiden gulped down another glass of wine in one go, his mind racing. Did he want Haru to work in that bar? When hot chicks, and not to mention gay men, were roaming freely and hunting for their next target, and he just knew Haru would be their next perfect target.

Isaac asked, “Aiden, are you okay? Please stop drinking. You tend to go a bit crazy when you’re drunk.”

Reo eyed Noah. Finally, Noah sighed, got up from his seat, and took the now half-empty bottle of wine away from Aiden.

“That’s enough, Aiden. Haru would be upset if he saw you drinking like that again.”

That got Aiden’s attention, and he felt a pang of guilt, his heart racing and his head pounding.

A few years ago, every time he got depressed, Aiden would start drinking, and then it’d upset Haru. Of course, after that crazy episode when Aiden had just discovered that he was in love with Haru and lusted after the boy, he had thought drinking would make him forget just how much of a sicko he was. He had thought that drinking would make him forget about the forbidden love, but of course, he had been wrong. He had started binge-drinking for three months straight, burying himself deep in his own misery. He had been on the verge of becoming an alcoholic when Haru had stepped in and stopped him.

God, but he still remembered that horrendous day clearly. Sixteen-year-old Haru, young and still in his high school uniform, had begged him to stop. Of course, the very drunk Aiden had only seen one thing. The culprit who had caused his suffering: Haru. He had charged toward the boy and shoved him against the wall of the hallway as he ranted in a drunken stupor, blaming everything on Haru as he started ripping the boy’s clothes from him, tearing the shirt to shreds, revealing the milky toned skin beneath. His hands had been so hard and brutal on the boy’s body that they bruised Haru’s flesh.

“Please stop, Aiden,” Haru had begged, tears in his eyes. “This isn’t you. I want my Aiden back. I want my big brother back. Please…”

Those words. The tears. The terrified look on that pretty face. Haru had brought Aiden to his knees. Fuck, but Aiden had never thought that he’d hurt the one he loved so dearly.

“I’m sorry, Haru, I’m sorry,” he had said, as if the fog in his head finally cleared. He had hugged the boy then, tightly, like a precious jewel. “I’m sorry, Haru. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know. It wasn’t you. You haven’t been yourself lately. It’s the alcohol. Why won’t you tell us anything? Why don’t you rely on us more, Aiden? We’re family. Please, I don’t want to see you like that again. I’m scared.”

“I’m sorry, Haru. I won’t drink like this again. I promise. I’m so sorry,” he had said.

And indeed, he hadn’t, until moments ago. Fuck, Aiden had just realized that he was about to head down the same path he had done two years ago, and all because he was afraid, especially after last night, that he’d really lose Haru this time.

He sighed deeply as he raked his fingers through his hair. He said, “Sorry. I’m just worried about Haru, that’s all.”

Mason asked, “And that’s enough to get you into drinking again?”

Aiden shook his head. “No…”

Reo said, “Rely on us more, Aiden. Don’t just keep everything to yourself. It’s difficult watching you suffer.”

Isaac nodded. “That’s right. You’re always bottling everything up until you’re about to explode like that day two years ago. That side of you really sucks, bro. Just like when Dad and Stepmom passed away after the accident, and then again when we lost Haru to the social service people. You didn’t drink back then, but you just bottled everything up and endured. I know we were too young to help back then, but that’s not the case now.”

Mason said, “Isaac is right. It’s about time you tell us what has been eating you up, Aiden. I’ve noticed it since the beginning of this year. You pretend to be happy, but you’re not, are you?”

Aiden had to chuckle at his brothers’ perceptiveness where he was concerned. Maybe it was about time he stopped running away. Maybe it was time he stopped bottling up problems and started sharing with his brothers what was burdening him. After all, they had always shared their problems with him, and he, in turn, had always been the one who had helped them out. Now he wondered why he hadn’t done the same.

He looked from one brother to another, and finally, he said, “I’ve been in love with Haru for a while now, and it’s killing me inside.”

There. He had said it. He had revealed to his brothers what had been bothering him for the past two years. Of course, Aiden expected shocked silence from his brothers, but that wasn’t what he got. Instead, he received a “Yeah, we know that” from Isaac.

Aiden frowned. It looked like he was the one who was being shocked. He asked, perplexed, “What do you mean, you guys know?”

Reo chuckled. “It’s not hard to see. We’ve been living together for a long time, Aiden. You only have eyes for Haru.”

Mason nodded. “Almost everything you did was for Haru. Not that you don’t care about us, but the treatment between us and Haru is different. Us, we’re your brothers. Haru? He’s more like someone special to you.”

Aiden felt his heart aching. “Was I that transparent?”

Noah said, “You can say that, but then again, Haru was even more transparent than you are.”

Reo said, “You know it’s hard on us watching you suffer, looking at Haru with those eyes of yours, Aiden?”

Aiden relaxed back against his chair and then asked, “How do I look at Haru?”

Noah said, “Longingly.”

Aiden raked his fingers through his hair. Fuck, had he been that pathetic? To show that kind of look on his face to his brothers.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing it.”

Isaac said, “Whatever the case, bro, isn’t it about time you do the right thing and, you know, grab the bull by the horns?”

Aiden swallowed hard at the suggestion. He asked, “But Haru and I, we’re brothers.”

“Stepbrothers,” Isaac said. “Yeah, people will think it’s shit, but you love Haru, don’t you?”

Aiden nodded, chuckling. “Yeah, I love him.”

Mason said, “So, you’re gay, and you love your younger stepbrother, what’s the big deal?”

What’s the big deal, eh?

Yeah, exactly what was the big deal? He was in love with Haru, and he wanted Haru. There was nothing more important than cherishing that boy in his life.

He said, “You’re right. I’ve made up my mind.” He stood then.

Reo asked, “Where are you going?”

“To get Haru.”

Noah laughed. “God, you’re eager, aren’t you? He’s staying over at Jess’ place. Just leave him be for tonight.”

Aiden thought about this for a moment and then nodded. He sat back down as the brothers chuckled in amusement. It was rare indeed to see Aiden looking that eager and flustered.. Hence, dinner commenced normally as the brothers conversed about other subjects that had nothing to do with Aiden and Haru.