Hate You, Love You. - Chapter 119

”I-”

”We-”

We both chuckle as the smell of brewed coffee and confectionaries hits our face. There are many ways this conversation can go, worst case scenario, the ship sinks before it has the chance to sail. Jason is seated across from me on the dark leather chair, the mahogany table putting a little bit of distance between us. Jason is  nervous, I can tell. He’s playing with his hands, his eyes are twitching and he keeps tapping his feet.

”You first,” I answer as I take a sip of my soy latte. ”It’s only fair.”

He nods. ”Alright. My mum said she talked to you.”

I also nod. ”She did.” And spilled her guts out while crying. Heather Blunt, at least from the pictures I’ve seen, always looks so prim, proper and incapable of shedding a single tear. All humans cry, but I just never expected the waterworks from her.

”She told me everything that happened with your dad.”

Boom. There it is. I knew my assumption was correct.

”You want me to be honest?” he asks.

”Sure.”

”I never expected it. It’s not everyday you wake up and your mum confesses that she dated your girl’s dad many years ago,” he chuckles bitterly. ”I don’t know, and this is probably me just ranting but I’m sorry for whatever harm she directly or indirectly caused.”

”You don’t need to apologize,” I whisper softly. ”You didn’t do anything wrong.”

”I know I didn’t, but someone in my family clearly did hurt you and it hurts me.” He stretches his right hand from across the table and interlocks it with mine. ”You told me about your dad and how he left years ago.”

I smile a little. ”You remember.”

”I remember everything when it comes to you.”

Heat spreads across my cheeks. ”My mum directly caused that and it’s no small matter. I love her, but in the past, before she married Dean, she wasn’t always known for making the wisest decisions.”

He continues. ”She had me at seventeen and life wasn’t always easy for us. I didn’t grow up living in mansions, drinking sparkling water and driving a Veyron. She got knocked up in high school by some jerk she thought she loved-I haven’t met the guy till date. When my grandparents found out that she was pregnant with me, they threw her out. They were devout Christians or some shit like that and they said she had ”profaned God’s name” by getting pregnant out of wedlock. They pushed her out into the world before she was even ready.”

”That’s horrible.”

”It was,” he agrees. ”But we survived. After she gave birth to me, I remember we moved around a lot. We lived in trailers, motels, even a caravan at one point, all over Bridgewood. That’s why I didn’t start school early. I wouldn’t say I had a stable childhood. She was all alone raising a son at a young age.”

My gaze falls to his face and I see a hooded expression cloud him. His childhood was different yet similar to mine. For the first half of my childhood, I was happy, but he wasn’t. Shit hit the fan before he was even born and it’s saddening to even imagine.

”Mum worked odd jobs like cleaning, waitressing, construction, all in a bid to put food on the table because she dropped out of high school. There weren’t a lot options out there and all the big companies with fat salaries weren’t going to hire a high school drop out.”

I nod slowly, encouraging him to continue. In situations like this, when Jason is pouring out his heart to me, I figured that it’s best to talk less and listen more. When I was at the Jaguar, Pearson said that he rarely talks about himself so my guess is he never really had anyone to confide in-well, he has Ryan, but something tells me that Ryan has no idea about this part of him.

”Like I said, she didn’t always make the wisest decisions, especially in the boyfriend’s department. The only one who didn’t turn out to be a prick was Dean because she married him,” he chuckles again. ”She was a serial dater so I met a lot of them, most were stupid, silly and downright abusive. I remember, when I was six, she dated this bastard named Carlos who would beat the shit out of her.” I gasp softly. ”The bruises were bad, but the trauma was worse. He was a drug addict and could be high for three days straight. When he figured that my mum had had enough, he would hit me.”

”What the fuck?” I whisper-yell.

”Story of my life.” I squeeze our interlocked hands and a somewhat grin appears on his face. ”I finally got that bastard arrested after I told a teacher what was going on. CPS got involved and it’s still a miracle how I’m not in foster care. You know they don’t take abuse allegations with laxity and till this day, I don’t know how mum was able to still have custody of me.”

I guess it’s a miracle from heaven.

”I’m not trying to excuse her behaviour, nor am I trying to say that what she did was right. I’m just trying to give you a first-hand perspective of things that happened back then.”

I understand, really, I do.

”I remember your dad because she introduced him to me. If I would have known he was married, I would have sent him straight to hell. I was eight, I believe, when I met him. He was the first black guy mum ever dated so his face is unforgettable. I thought he was another prick like Carlos, but he turned out to be an okay guy. She would talk about him often; he would buy her gifts and he showered her with attention. Attention and love was what she needed at the time because taking care of me, while holding down a job as a single mum at a young age was taking its toll on her.”

Welcome to my world.

”She said she was in love,” his gaze holds mine. ”with him. I thought it was too soon but I guess there’s no timer when it comes to love. Your dad, Dharell, did all the right things and played his cards right. He deceived her and she fell for it,” he says bitterly.

He deceived every one of us.

”After a while, I didn’t see him around anymore and I would ask her about it. She said they were planning on getting married and shit and all of a sudden he disappeared. Back then, she only told me that they broke up. But now, I see why.”

”My Grandma told me that my dad cheated and that was the reason why. Looking at the timelines and the stories, everything makes so much sense.”

I’m more connected to the Blunts than I realize-I’m more connected to Jason than I realize because we both have a story of pain, loss and hurt. His childhood was fucked before he was born and mine was fucked a little too early for my liking. I don’t believe in destiny or fate, but I can’t help but wonder if this was God’s plan. Was it his plan for us to meet like this and for us to be together after years of back and forth?

If it was, then I guess I have to say thank you because I feel closer to him now.

I guess Heather Blunt’s parting words to me that Sunday is true after all.

”I don’t want this to change us, Princess.” I don’t want that too. ”Sure, it’s a little bump in the road, but we’ll scale through it.”

”I don’t want us to change either.”

Because I’d be damned if I let him go.

He brings our hands to his lips and gives it a feather kiss. ”Good. Because now, that I have you and I know you, I’d be damned if I let you go. You’re the first girl I’ve ever really cared about. I like the fact that you’re real, honest, sassy, witty and you have a ”I don’t give a fuck” vibe which is a major turn on.”

I really don’t give a fuck.

”You’re also loyal. I’ve showed you layers of me that I haven’t shown to anyone, not even to my parents or sister, and you’ve been nothing but supportive. I can trust you, and that’s something I value more than anything.”

Now, I feel guilty. How can he trust me when Theo is hot on his tail? I have no idea what Theo is planning because he barely shares shit with me about Jason ever since we made peace, but I know for a fact that Theo has him on his radar. He may say he ”speculates” that Jason is in a gang but I know Theo like the back of my hand. Sooner or later, Jason may enter hot water.

How do I warn him about all this without blowing our cover?

Deciding to put that to the side, I focus on the movement of his mouth.

”Would you be my girlfriend, Mel?”

Holy Shit! For real?!

Play it cool, Mel. Play it cool.

”I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Oh boy.