Heartburn - Chapter 103
–Why is she here?
It’s really unexpected.
Seeing her safe and sound, I was really relieved, it seems that Jiang Zhuo still abides by the agreement with me, and has not sent anyone to kill her.
However, looking at the cold mask on her face, I sighed again: Although Dawu woman is respected and does not value her appearance, when I think of Kuang Xiqing’s flawless face, there is now a hideous scar. How can we not teach people to sigh?
Especially this injury is inseparable from me.
“Why, could it be that because I became ugly, Han’er didn’t want to pay attention to me?” Kuang Xiqing’s eyes flashed and the corners of her mouth twitched as she said with a little self-deprecating.
“Of course not,” I quickly explained, afraid of her misunderstanding, “The emperor has never changed in my heart.”
“Oh? Are you serious about what Han’er said?” She walked up to me, took my hand and covered the other half of her intact face, smiling softly, “Even if I am no longer the lord of the world, there is no Junxiu’s appearance, in your heart, can I still have my place?”
“Of course it is,” I squeezed her hand and said softly. When a flash of brilliance suddenly flashed across her eyes, my heart was aching, but I had to press my heart and continue to say, “The emperor will always be mine. Sister, close relatives by blood, how can it be cut off?”
Her smile stagnated, and then slowly pulled away from my hand and turned her back.
The silence spread, and I could feel her loss and repressed resentment and grief, but I couldn’t do anything except grit my teeth and hang my head.
What she thought in her heart, how could I not know?
But it is precisely because of knowing that I can’t respond, can’t point out.
Even if that person deceived me, imprisoned me, or even forced me, but my heart was handed over long ago, and I can never take it back.
I can’t afford what Kwong Xiqing wants–not to mention, what she has always thought of is the arrogant and domineering Kwong Xihan from the past. It is the sister who has been with her day and night and is sincere, not me, Jian Xin.
I never doubted this.
“Han’er, now, I am just an exiled person, no longer Kuang Xiqing, nor your emperor sister,” for a long while, when I thought she no longer wanted to care about me, I heard her suddenly and quietly said. “Just as if we were just strangers who met by the water, give me a chance to get to know you and pursue you… Isn’t that okay?”
Her voice was as light as the air, as if talking to herself, but the fragility hidden in her tone could not be ignored. She taught me to be moved: how much courage it takes to teach this aloof emperor to be so humble and so humble. What kind of affection can she teach her to abandon everything rather than let it go?
At this moment, I want to tell her the truth, tell her that her beloved Han’er has long since disappeared, and now what this body occupies is nothing but a ghost of another world, a brand new Kuang Xihan with a heart. .
But I couldn’t say it, as if there was an obsession in the dark that was stopping me–perhaps Kuang Xihan’s remnant will, or maybe it was just a trace of inexplicable cowardice in my own heart. Right.
If she was taught to know that Kwong Xihan eventually died at her hands, how guilty would she be?
Regret, pain, indulging in self-blame all day long, difficult to extricate herself, and even the emergence of life and death… Presumably if it is Kuang Xihan, she definitely does not want her to be so depressed, let alone become the shackles of her life.
This is someone she would rather die than hurt.
If it is necessary to cause harm—the two evils are the lesser of the two, at least for the “dead farewell” that is separated from the yin and the yang, the “birth and separation” will be less painful and will be gradually over a long time Heal it.
This is all I can do.
Before waiting for my answer, Kuang Xiqing gave a low laugh, but it was more distressing than crying.
She and I understand the answer that this silence represents, and she is a proud and self-sufficient emperor after all, even if we let go of all the humbleness, there is only one time-the only time.
No longer entangled, or needed a calm time, she sighed deeply, but turned around and smiled softly at me, and said nonchalantly: “This place should not stay long, I will let Yingxuan send you back to the palace. .”
Regardless of whether she knows the reason for my appearance here, since she never mentions it, I agreed with it. Although it is not a wise choice to return to the palace, it is very likely that someone who meets Jiang Zhuo will be sent off immediately. Going back to the palace caused my departure this time to fall short, but I don’t want to refuse her.
First, I didn’t want her to know Jiang Zhuo’s ridiculous idea, and worried for me, and second, I wanted to take this to go back to the house to see Yan Ke… As for other things, let’s take one step at a time.
In fact, in my heart, I might have made up my mind to leave the palace and never meet that person again in this life. It was just a momentary struggle, and there was the thought of leaving the palace to relax. How could I have thought that I would have the way of Zizheng? My son, I almost…I think about it now, I’m still afraid for a while.
I can only blame myself for being too naive, teaching the comfort and smoothness of the past two years to be cautious, and being spoiled by the identity of the prince more and more willful.
I almost forgot: this is not the society under the rule of law that upholds equality, but a sternly hierarchical society that treats human life like a stubborn waste-without the shelter of power, I am nothing more than a poor worm at the mercy of others.
“Okay.” I sighed in my heart, nodded, and went out after Kuang Xiqing.
She walked very slowly, strolling in the courtyard with her hands in her hands as if she was enjoying the scenery of the yard. She occasionally glanced at me sideways, her eyes were filled with various emotions, but she was taught to suppress them, but her lips never changed. The arc leaked a bit of bitterness.
If she didn’t say it, I didn’t ask, and she was speechless.
No matter how slow it is, it will come to an end.
The door of the small courtyard was right in front of her when she came, and she stopped suddenly, turned around and looked at me lightly, and stopped talking.
“The carriage is outside.” She pursed her lips, and finally couldn’t say goodbye, as if choked, smiled slightly, and stopped talking.
“Take care.” No matter how many words there were, it was only two words in the end. I reluctantly smiled at her and forced myself to step over her figure resolutely and walk towards the courtyard gate.
Suddenly, at the moment I took my steps, a sense of anxiety surged in my heart, as if a string was tightening my neck tightly, making people breathless.
This ominous premonition made me pause abruptly, and also a little vigilant-something is wrong, there is something… something wrong!
I remember when I arrived in Lu Yingxuan’s carriage, the street was very sluggish, but there were also a few pedestrians passing by, and the shops on both sides also had all kinds of noisy noises, but I approached the courtyard gate, but my ears It was so quiet that no sound could be heard, as if something terrible was suppressing everything, choking everyone’s throat, and cutting off all movement.
This street is too quiet, unusually quiet.
I don’t know if this is a woman’s intuition, or a natural sensitivity to crisis. I didn’t have time to think about it. I subconsciously turned my heels, turned back a few steps, and stared at Shang Xiqing’s sad gaze.
And at that moment, her gaze stagnated, her black pupils shrank suddenly, and I could even see my solemn and slightly doubtful look from inside.
“Han’er!” The calm and sullen expression on her face solidified in an instant, collapsed, her eyes split, horrified and terrified, as if she had seen something terrible.
And at the same time, my chest pained fiercely, as if I was penetrated by a sharp object. My body was hit by a huge force, and I rushed forward with inertia, just falling into Kuang Xiqing’s bosom. .
My mind was blank for a few breaths before I recollected it in a daze. I lowered my head blankly and looked at the arrow pierced from my chest—the metal tip was glowing with cold silver light, and I followed the arrow. A large amount of blood oozes from the wound I passed through, and a touch with my right hand, the warm and viscous liquid quickly ran away from my body, and the completely strange pain made me stunned.
“Jian Xin…” Is there an auditory hallucination? Why does it seem to hear Jiang Zhuo’s voice? She was calling my name, using the cold voice that I know best and love the most.
But why is there a trembling cry in this voice? Is she sad? Who is bullying her?
My brain seems to have been delayed countless times. After these problems surfaced, I realized with hindsight: Ah, I seem to be hit by an arrow.
Just like the most common vulgar bridge in a TV series, an arrow in the chest broke the flesh, penetrated the ribs, and opened a small blood hole from the back to the chest.
It hurts.
It hurts more than when I first came to my aunt.
“Jane Xin!” The person holding me shook and turned into another dreamlike shadow. The face that taught me love and pain appeared in front of my eyes unexpectedly. What makes people wonder is that on her face. The panicked expression seemed as if the sky had fallen.
I have never seen her look so gloomy, more scared than fear, more painful than pain, even when I broke love with her.
“What’s the matter? Why are you so sad?” I asked her deliberately, but found that I was weak and unable to move, and I didn’t even have the strength to speak.
“Jian Xin! Jian Xin…” She hugged me with all her strength, pressing my chest firmly with one hand, turning her head and shouting at the people who quickly came around, “Hurry up and pass the royal doctor! Wei Shu! Yeah! Go and call him! Go!” He turned around and coaxed gently at me, “Jian Xin, don’t be afraid, it’s okay, it’s okay…”
“Tick, tick…” With her trembling words, my face was cold–maybe she didn’t even notice it, tears fell from her eyes and dripped on my face. Contrary to the look of her trying to calm down, her eyes are full of despair.
“Don’t, don’t cry, cough, cough…” Although it hurts to be penetrated in my chest, her tears made me feel more distressed.
“I don’t cry, don’t cry.” She immediately wiped her face with her hands, but she also wiped her face because of the blood on her hands, which looked a little ridiculous.
But I can’t laugh, and I don’t have the strength to wipe her clean. I can only look at her deeply and greedily print this face into my head, even if she has been entrenched in every place in my mind and wanted to forget. Don’t forget.
“Promise me-let her go, let her go…” Every time I say a word, my chest feels like being churned by a sharp object. The pain is unbearable, but I can’t stop – because once I stop, I’m not sure there will be more There is no chance to finish.
“Okay, stop talking, I promise, I promise you everything…” She nodded vigorously, not caring that I was pleading for Kuang Xiqing, but the hands pressing on my chest were tight and tight, pale. Bloodshot bit his lips.
“…Take care, take care of yourself,” I can feel the vitality passing by, as if breathing is getting harder and harder, and the scene in front of me is a little fuzzy, no matter how unwilling I am, this is something I can’t change. “Also Have……”
Also, what else is there?
–I love you.
Unfortunately, after trying my best, I still didn’t have time to say these three words in person.
With regret, I was plunged into endless darkness, and her heart-piercing cry was the last voice I heard.