Heartless - Chapter 2：My Childhood that Never Existed Part 2

Many of you will try and argue with me, saying that your simple apathetic but that doesn’t mean that you can’t feel. For that, I would say that you can believe what you want, no one’s stopping you. However, I would like you to stop and think, why do you like to make things more meaningless than they are? When someone says they have depression, you wouldn’t say that your just sad right?

Nevertheless, my lack of emotions guaranteed that I would lead a lonely life as this is an era of feelings. Having a lack of emotions simply means that I don’t fit into this puzzle piece of what human is supposed to be.

The ice-queen as some would call me, perhaps for what they think is my indifference. Or perhaps it is only my glacier like face, cold outside and within. Though, they wouldn’t call me that if I was ugly, now would they? After all, to be a queen, you must first be beautiful.

Not all call me ice-queen, I know that for a fact. Someone of my disposition will no doubt garner quite a bit of rumors. Rumors are, after all, the reason of how humans are quite successful. Knowing who to avoid, who to curry favors with, rumors are the sole foundations of our society.

And though many often hate rumors about them but love rumors about others… I like rumors about myself. Especially the ones that often trigger annoyance for I would like to feel annoyance myself. I would like to laugh at how stupid some of the rumors are and I wonder how nice it would be.

I wonder how nice it would be to feel alone and depressed when no ones on your side, when all they care about is your looks. I would like to laugh along with others when someone made a funny joke. Even bully others for the sake of an insecurity that I might’ve had.

If only….if only I haven’t forgotten, how would it feel to feel?