Heaven's Greatest Professor - Chapter 81: Dissonance

They stayed for about an hour, even after the checkup was done, mostly discussing matters related to body, mind, and spirit. However, although the conversation was worthwhile, it only seemed to make Warden more depressed about his condition.

Apparently, whatever had happened to him shouldn’t have wiped his memory if it had worked the way it was supposed to. But from her checkup, Elder Allen found that he was specifically made to have his memories wiped in such a way that even his spirit was somewhat disconnected from his mind. This was probably why the mind attribute was so challenging to improve.

Despite not being a sage on the subject, she found a dissonance in the synergy of his physique, mind, and Spirit.

His mind was somewhat synced with his physique, but it wasn’t with his spirit. Spirit is not just an attribute that represents the core magical value of his being; it is the psyche. Whatever he accomplishes in his life leaves a mark on his spirit. Unfortunately, something was restricting him from connecting those two things.

“Do you want me to check on you today?” June asked hesitantly. “You might not be aware, but my methods are quite mentally straining.”

“You don’t say,” Warden sighed. “Let’s do it, though. I don’t have my hopes up for anything.”

June looked like she wanted to say something but was afraid to give him hope and then disappointment. “Let’s go to my quarter,” she said.

As soon as she mentioned it, Warden realised his quarters were not his own alone. It was better to do this kind of thing somewhere more private. Her place was just right up the alley for this.

“Just so you know, my methods aren’t like scanning your brain or digging into it,” she said. “It’s more like tapping into your subconsciousness and letting you experience it yourself. It can be hard, you know. For some people, they create their own stories to use them as a shield against the world while keeping their deepest and darkest insecurities, pain, horror hidden deep inside.”

Warden did not have his memories, but he kind of understood what she was talking about. “Would I even have something to hide in my subconsciousness if I don’t have any memories?” he wondered.

“We never know,” June said. “You never know what you hide inside after you bottle it up. Actually, that was the point of it. You hide things in order to forget them.”

So, June explained what he had to do, and it was pretty simple to understand, though she had suspicions about it working with someone like him. Apparently, Warden had to sleep and leave his mind free for her to tap into his subconsciousness.

“For a more private person like yourself, it would be hard not to block my invasion of your privacy,” June explained. “Your subconscious will be fighting against me to block my invasion. If you can perhaps affect your subconsciousness, help me to reach there deeper.”

Thus, Warden lay flat on the bed and tried to sleep. He didn’t force himself to sleep, as June had advised him to have a natural sleep just so that there would be less resistance.

But with all those thoughts clouding his mind, it would take hours before he would be asleep. What if he could never manage to recover his memory? What would he do then? What if his host’s suspicions come true, and he wasn’t really who he thought he was? What if whoever did this to him got wind of him and came to finish the job?

Warden personally did not see any reason to wipe someone’s memory so thoroughly.

“Have you ever wondered, June?” he asked softly. “What makes you, you? Is it not the memory?”

“That is a rather philosophical question,” June said. “Everyone can have their interpretation of it, but I guess nobody would get the right or wrong answer.”

“What is your answer?” he asked. “Would you be a different person without your memories, or would you be the same person?”

“I would be June,” she answered softly, “though a different version of myself. It is undeniable that our experience makes up everything about ourselves. People change, sometimes for worse, sometimes for better. It is always our decision to choose which one to pick, even if we have no memory of the person we were once.”

Warden opened his eyes to look at her with a woeful expression. Her words had a deep meaning in them, even if they were said softly. It did manage to quell some of his discomfort, though only a little.

“Thanks,” Warden said, and finally turned to sleep.

Warden didn’t turn to his internal clock to know how long it had taken for him to sleep. However, it felt like an instant. He was instantly awake the moment June tried to invade his subconsciousness.

He was jerked awake from his sleep, his back rising chaotically, almost crashing into June, who sat next to him with her palm over his head.

“Calm yourself,” June said, even though her voice was shaking. Tiny bits of sweat trickled down on her brows, which stopped.

He felt like a current in his brain, surging back and forth with a torrential pain.

“What happened?” He rasped.

“Your unconsciousness,” June gasped. “It was too powerful, almost impossible for someone below the gold rank to have. I found no purchase. It felt like hitting against an impregnable wall. But most of all, your spirit restricted my intrusion as well. If not for that, I could have barged my way in, though full.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Warden asked.

“I am fine,” June said, though she did not look fine. Although it didn’t look that bad, like her eyes bleeding from that night, she did not look all that right to him, perhaps somewhat shaken. Warden didn’t know if it was normal to be like this.

“I am alright,” she informed. “It is not every day I invade someone’s mind like this. Actually, I don’t have much experience in it, even though I spent a rather staggering amount of time in my own subconsciousness.”

“So what to do now?” he asked.

“Let’s try again.”

_____________

Mass release 2/5

The rest are coming after I have my sleep.