Hellish Deep Love - Chapter 284

Holding a shovel a little bit stagnant, Li Yan half a sound just reaction, like that, he frowned: “you are still angry with me?”

“It’s nothing to be angry or not.”

Understatement, I coagulated Li Yan’s eyes: “I just feel that recently this period of time, the relationship between you and me is very problematic. If we don’t correct this problematic pattern in time, we’ll be even worse together in the future. ”

Leaning down slightly, Li Yan turned off the torch and put the dish out on the dining table. Then he turned back to the kitchen, where he squeezed some hand sanitizer and rubbed it between his fingers. He looked at me with sincere apology: “Chen Shi, it’s normal for you to continue to be angry with me. I really don’t control my mood very well recently. I’ve used my bull temper to you many times, and what I said is also very hard to hear. I don’t know how to defend myself. I really have too much work pressure. I think too much about things. Sometimes I really can’t balance too much “In fact, it’s true that you have work pressure, Li Yan. But your attitude towards me is high and low these days. It’s not just about work pressure, is it?”

In the gap between Li Yan’s desire to speak and his difficulty in succeeding, my eyes never left Li Yan’s face from the beginning to the end. I directly gazed at him: “Li Yan, I vaguely feel that you have a lot of things to hide from me. Or to be more popular, in fact, a lot of things that have happened recently are all caused by hidden troubles, but you only use a few words to make light of them. Li Yan, you and I are both adults who have experienced many things. We already know how to use our brains to think well, and we are also good at making bold predictions about human nature. I think that since we have experienced so many ups and downs and have the opportunity to be together again, we should carry out our original agreement to be frank with each other. Li Yan, I’m not as weak as you think. I don’t need a greenhouse without wind and waves. I think I’ve had almost all the hardships in my life. I’m not afraid to look back at the past, nor to look forward to even the dangerous future. So Li Yan, can you be more honest with me, and more honest, and you can give me more trust, and more trust. What I can promise you is that I will never be your pig teammate on the way forward. On the contrary, I will try my best to advance and retreat with you As long as you make the plan, even if I have doubts, I will make sure the allocation is in place I just want to ask you, don’t keep me in the dark about everything, I need to know and participate ”

even if my words are more implicit in other people’s ears, but with Li Yan’s reaction, he must understand that I didn’t directly pierce them in order to take care of many things, but Li Yan’s eyebrows are wrinkled clearly.

There was dark water surging in his eyes. Li Yan’s eyes caught me deeply for a while. He suddenly buried his face: “Chen Shi, I’m sorry. I do have something to hide from you. I thought I could hide it, but I overestimated my control over my feelings. I . I For a long time, Li Yan’s voice became smaller and smaller: “I just found out recently that I don’t love you, but rather cling to you. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? In my vigorous efforts to recover you, in my final wish to get a marriage certificate with you, let you become my legal wife, but I suddenly found that I don’t love you, I’m just a kind of obsession with you. I have no love for you. ”

Normally speaking, Li Yan’s words are like an ice bucket pouring over his head. I should be cool. However, in fact, I didn’t have any extra reaction. I still focused my eyes on Li Yan: “please, Li Yan, if you want to make up a lie to deceive me, at least you can make it up decent. Do you think I’m blind, or do you think I’m blind, or do you think I’m feeling out of whack, or are my nerves not on the right strings? Do you love me or not? I don’t feel it myself. I need you to tell me whether you love me or not? And you love me or obsession, it only with you so light floating a few words, can freely shuttle rolling? Li Yan, are you naive or do you think I am. I’m not the one who was extremely immature five years ago. Please treat me in a mature way. I want to create a better life with you at this moment. I can understand your difficulties, but I also ask you to understand my limited patience. I also ask you to understand that I don’t want to be a stupid greenhouse flower hiding under your arm. I hope I am tough. Even if it is a handful of weeds, I can entangle with you. I despise your trick of pretending you don’t love me anymore. ”

But it was like being swept away by the tsunami. Li Yan was like dehydrated hay. He slowly raised his face, and his lips moved to bite away the dry land. His broad shoulders were shrunk into a ball by him, and he was stunned. He finally sat up with a chair, and his voice was gentle: “believe it or not, all I said at this moment It’s all from the heart. There will never be a lie. ”

Suddenly for a long time, Li Yan opened his voice again, his voice seemed to be stuck in the paste, and his voice line was somewhat stumbling and fuzzy: “you mistakenly think that I still love you, that’s because I’m deceiving myself to prove that I still love you, and I can still bet 10 million points of love on you as I first saw you before. I’m so deceiving myself to confirm me I still love you this feeling, but the more deliberate I am, the more tired I feel. I am also exhausted and fragmented in the deep feeling of playing according to the script. I think, after you and I met again in Shenzhen, I had a desire to win that I didn’t want to lose to he Yujin at the beginning. Later, as you became more and more reluctant to bird me, the more I wanted to conquer. Later, I gradually saw the suffering you had suffered for four long years, and I owed you more. I have a desire to win, a sense of conquest, a sense of guilt and a sense of debt towards you, but I don’t have the feeling that I want to hold you in my arms and have you. I finally found out that I didn’t love you for a long time. I’m just bound by obsession, mistaking that I still love deeply. I’m dazed by obsession, and I’m in a hurry to form a family with you. It’s all my fault. Sorry, Chen Shi”I don’t believe any word you say now.”

In terms of obsession, although I’m not as good as Li Yan, I’m not much worse than him. At this moment, I firmly believe that what Li Yan said tonight is only because my previous words poked his point. He’s very afraid that I’ll continue to study. That’s why he made up his eyes like eyes and nose like nose.

He didn’t love me, he just married me out of obsession and ignorance? Joke!

With Li Yan as a special person who can tell what he wants and what he doesn’t want, is it possible for him to make such a funny act!

My heart was as calm as water. I followed Li Yan’s direction. I went up to him. I reached for the back of his chair. My voice was steady: “it’s because of Zhao Jia. It’s because of Zhao Jia’s sudden return. It’s also because of Zhao Xianxing. It’s because of their two grandsons ”

before I could go on, Li Yan cut me off quickly. He looked full of guilt and regret:” yes, it’s because of Zhao Jia. ”

When he raised his face, Li Yan’s deeply locked eyebrows were full of wrinkles. He was sincere and couldn’t bear to deceive me again. He said, “Chen Shi, actually, I really answered Li Chun’s evaluation. I was a very respectable person. When you and I were in the first emotional entanglement, Li Chun took a group photo of Zhao Jia and me and told you that I had a secret love After Zhao Jia, I denied his statement at that time. I was actually lying. I was afraid to face my heart. I was really attracted by Zhao Jia’s brilliance when I was a teenager. She is beautiful, she is calm and calm, she is different from girls of the same age, her every smile makes me move. In that year, she only regarded me as a brother, but I had different feelings for her. Due to the good relationship between the two families, I could only restrain and endure my hot feelings. I did not dare to move forward to Zhao Jia. I did not dare to reveal any trace of my heart to her. I even had a deep and shallow sense of inferiority in front of her

with a straight waist, I broke Li Yan’s words: “I still won’t believe what you said.”

“Whether you believe it or not, it’s a fact that you and I can’t reverse.”

No longer dodging my eyes, Li Yan looked at me impartially: “you may have doubts. Since I am so obsessed with Zhao Jia, why did I talk with Lu Xiaoran for four years at the beginning, and then I fell in love with you again. In fact, whether it’s Lu Xiaoran or you, I see Zhao Jia’s shadow more or less from you. I see Zhao Jia’s enthusiasm from Lu Xiaoran, the sunshine from you, and the two girlfriends I’ve been looking for, all follow Zhao Jia’s shape. You may even have more doubts. Since I have a long-lasting love affair with Zhao Jia, why did I become a deserter when my grandfather intended to set me up for a blind date with Zhao Jia? The reason is very simple. That’s because I had a very close relationship with you at that time. I got your first time. In fact, I’m a man with a straight man in my heart. My virginity complex is deep in my heart. You gave me your innocent body. When I got it, I felt like I was shouldering a heavy responsibility. I realized at that time that I couldn’t let my feelings go and let you down. Moreover, even if I haven’t been in touch for many years, I have heard about Zhao Jia’s recent situation from other places. Her beautiful achievements have made me feel inferior again. I can only bury Zhao Jia deeply in my bones once again. I can only accept my fate silently. I can only bury other warm desires in my heart and pretend that the person I love most in my life is you. I miss you After I get married with you and you give me a baby, I will really put down the person I want to spend my life with most, but I overestimate myself. Since I met Zhao Jia again, I found that she is really rooted in my bones, and I most want to spend the rest of my life with her. She seems to have some exceptions to me, which makes me more ecstatic … ”

” don’t make it up any more, Li Yan. Even if you kill me, I will not believe that a person who still thinks of me first in the face of death, a person who hides a small amount of dry food just to increase the possibility of my survival in the face of death, a person who bites his teeth to get up in the face of death in order to give me a chance of life, regardless of his falling head, he just wants to win over me Desire for service, sense of debt and obsession, who are you teasing! If a person loves another person or not, there may be thousands of answers, which may not be true. But only in the face of life and death, the examination paper handed in by instinct is the closest to the correct answer. ”

Looking down, I reached out and touched the back of Li Yan’s hand, which was curled up on the back of the chair. My calmness was beyond my expectation: “Li Yan, you’ve made up so much, you’re going to divorce me next, right? I can tell you my answer now. I don’t leave. disagree. Maybe you and I have different understandings of the meaning of the relationship between husband and wife. You may think that husband is heaven and wife is earth. But I think that two people can’t talk about it separately. Only by working together can we build a harmonious coexistence between heaven and earth. Also, don’t forget that we have a child. Our child is more sensible than other children. He already knows everything. He just enjoys a healthy family life with his father’s care and his mother’s love. I won’t let anyone take away the hard won kindness. “Then I patted the back of his hand and I said, “OK, there’s so much bullshit, the dishes are cold. Go to dinner. ”

No matter Li Yan was still sitting in the same place, I calmly turned around and went to the kitchen to get two sets of chopsticks. I added a bowl of rice and put it in front of him. Then I put some food in my own bowl. When I sat down, I put some food in my mouth.

As a matter of fact, Li Yan’s cooking skills have been very stable if he was not in a very bad mood. The dishes he cooked tonight are also full of color, fragrance and flavor. But I had a bitter mouth. I just tasted that little bit. It was like pouring thousands of abysses into my mouth. Bitterness was like a dark haze, and almost didn’t seal my throat.

But I didn’t even frown and swallow it all.

When I picked up the chopsticks and turned to the kitchen, I said in a tone as if nothing had happened: “Li Yan, eat quickly, don’t really cool the vegetable stand.”

Pinching the end of my words, Li Yan’s tone was not as straightforward as he had just said. It was like a volcano brewing in silence. His voice suddenly rose several degrees: “don’t deceive yourself any more. Chen Shi, let’s get divorced. Marriage without love is a waste of each other’s good years. You are still young, so am I. neither you nor I should be trapped in illusion for a lifetime. You are also an excellent person. Although I don’t like your character of winning everything, there must be other men who will get the most from you. And I don’t want to be the egghead that I used to make do with my life. I also want to be brave to pursue something that I can get by pursuing ”

” I will not leave. Even if you go to sue for divorce, you will enter the mediation procedure first. I don’t think there are any irreconcilable contradictions and problems between you and me. ”

I closed it with my hand, took advantage of the fire and scattered it to cover my half eyes. I shuttled it with my fingers, and I spoke slowly: “it seems that tonight, it’s very difficult for us to have a particularly effective and deep communication. So there is no topic of nutrition, so far. I’m tired. Take a bath and go to bed. ”

Leaving Li Yan, who still has a lot of lines to point out, and the dishes on the table that haven’t moved much, I quickly walked to the bedroom and arched my clothes into the bathroom.

Open the water, and then across a door, I endure for a long time tears finally Pentium pour.

Of course, when I shed tears so much, I didn’t believe Li Yan’s stories about finding another true love. I was just filled with cold light in my heart when I was choked by those complicated emotions. I also saw the confusion of my future with Li Yan.

I just don’t know. I’m just in love. I met a man who I especially wanted to spend my life with when I was the most ignorant and novice. He just had me in his eyes. How could my relationship fall into those endless abyss from the beginning? It’s a perfect marriage until I’ve got my marriage certificate with Li Yan Today, the road ahead is still full of monsters. It seems that it is not easy to finish well?

And Li Yan, in the end, he is too concerned about giving birth to timidity, and he has to go his own way in a broken arm to survive, or he doesn’t trust me enough. He thinks that I can’t be the companion of the combat team that he goes?

Does Zhao Jia really have the ability to make Li Yan dare not even gamble?

I’m so exposed to him, and he’s going to keep me away?

My head was so dizzy that I couldn’t support myself in the bathroom any more. I quickly dried the vague tears on my face, put on my clothes and went out.

In the bedroom, Li Yan is spreading out two big suitcases. He is sparing no effort to decorate his clothes and daily necessities.

Rubbing the water vapor in the palms of my hands, I saw Li Yan put the razor into the interlayer of the trunk. I couldn’t hold my breath and said, “what are you doing?”

“I need to calm down first, and so do you.”

Li Yan’s voice wrinkled as he continued to pack clothes in the box: “since you don’t want to divorce, let’s separate for a while. Or separate for a period of time, it is easier for us to see each other clearly. It’s easier for you to see, or you don’t love me as much as you think. In fact, the little emotional foundation between you and me, most of which are based on the imaginary emotional foundation, can be broken by the wind, but we are too obsessive, thinking that we love each other