Her Devilish Alpha - Chapter 185

Briar felt obliged to smile and grill him for more details as to who this mysterious woman was. It was clear Adrian meant to hide who this woman was from her, but he seemed willing to spare a couple of details.

‘Who knows? Maybe I can piece the details together and find out who this woman is,’ Briar reasoned.

If Madeline was there with her, she would have solved everything already. It would only take her a second to figure out who this so-called ‘mysterious woman’ was since it was too obvious. Adrian made it too obvious.

Continuing where he left off, Adrian said to her, “She’s perfect and anything but shy, she’s confident, knows exactly what she’s capable of and a badass. Being around her brightens up whatever horrible day I’m having, it’s refreshing. She doesn’t know about this, and I don’t intend on telling her anytime soon.”

“Wow, she seems like an amazing person. Will I ever get to meet her? Or do I know her already?”

“Of course you know her already.”

Briar narrowed her eyes, this person couldn’t be Indiana, could it?

But Indiana was known for being shy, and she was buried underground. She’d think Adrian would sound a teensy bit sad if it really was Indiana, despite the idea being plausible. Indiana was desirable, many men having their eye out for her wouldn’t be a shock.

Speaking of men who had their eye out for Indiana…

Jonathan banged his head against his desk, feeling like he was trapped in a never-ending time loop.

Everyday, he’d wake up, reminded that Indiana was gone and the woman he had feelings for was no more. It had been months, and he still hadn’t gotten over Indiana’s death, which had hit him like a truck.

His hair was dishevelled, his eyes were puffy and sore from crying and he couldn’t feel any worse. Everything was a constant reminder of Indiana. He had even stopped baking. It just reminded him of her, and how Indiana once told him she loved to bake.

A part of him couldn’t comprehend feeling this way. He barely knew Indiana, they were acquaintances, and calling them friends would be pushing it.

Yet, he was still hung over Indiana’s death. The fact he had feelings for the woman didn’t help either. It was like a piece of his heart had been chipped, and there was no turning back from there. He didn’t feel like eating, or going out to hunt.

Knowing the full moon was approaching, he cursed at himself. Turning into a werewolf whilst he was still emotional wasn’t great. Upon his transition, his emotions were magnified and all the hurt and pain he felt only increased by a tenfold.

Why, oh why had he been cursed with such misfortune? Why couldn’t he have not known or loved Indiana at all? That way it wouldn’t have hurt.

That way, Indiana’s death wouldn’t have affected him the way that it did.

Jonathan couldn’t even process her death. When he had heard the horrid news, he had just told himself that Madeline was playing some sick prank on him. That Indiana had told her to pull a prank on him to see his priceless reaction.

Only after she broke down right in front of him did he realise the truth. That Indiana really was dead.

He was convinced that Madeline was just a really gifted actress at one point. Not that she was actually just grieving her friend’s death. Jonathan had been in a state of denial.

To the point he was beginning to wonder if he really had feelings for Indiana, or if he had become obsessed with her.

Had he developed an obsession towards Indiana?

Did her death fuel said obsession? Did it have a big part to play in what he felt for her now?

The answer would be a yes. It did. Jonathan didn’t think he’d get over her death anytime soon, despite it being months after.

Come every full moon, he imagined himself and Indiana roaming Eudora whilst in their wolf forms, going out on some night stroll and hunting for prey together or something of the sort. Of course, that was all in Jonathan’s imagination since Indiana was unable to transform in her wolf form and all that, but he had been so… emotional and tormented that he had made everything up and went with it.

Madeline had made it a point to check in with him every once in a while. Jonathan had to hand it to her, she was really devoted to Indiana.

Indiana had told him a little bit about Madeline when she was still alive. Jonathan knew how they had gotten off at a rough start, but then became friends. He knew what Indiana did since she explained everything to him too.

“Indiana, I’m sorry,” he apologised while he rocked back and forth.

He felt extremely sorry. Especially since this was not what Indiana would have wanted.

What would she have wanted? For him to find someone else, of course. Or to just be happy. She’d say something about how he didn’t need someone to be happy, and that he was perfectly capable of finding his own happiness.

Like all her other friends – Briar, Madeline… She wanted them to be happy. That was all. If they were happy, she’d be able to die peacefully. Yet, she left without being able to say goodbye to Jonathan.

Jonathan had spent nights wondering one thing, ‘If Indiana said goodbye to me before she left and told me to be happy, would it have affected the way I reacted? Would it have given me some closure at the very least?’

He sighed, knowing another day of his life would be wasted pondering what could have been. As he entered his restroom, he muttered to himself, “When will the cycle end? When will I finally be okay after what happened to her and make peace with the fact that she’s gone? I need to end it someday.”

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Author’s Note: Poor Jonathan.