Hero? I’ve Long Stopped Being One - Volume 2 Chapter 8

After eating, Shi Shen had to say goodbye to Lin Jie and Glasses Bro, since he had a show that afternoon.

Lin Jie saw that it was already a little after noon, so he bought a few packs of chilli sticks and walked with Glasses Bro toward the Xiao’s apartment. “Do you want to come with me to feed Doudou his lunch?”

“Doudou?” Glasses Bro gave Lin Jie a curious look. “Who’s that?”

“He’s a dog that Little Mumu and I adopted.” Lin told him.

“Then why is he at Xiao Zhan’s place?” Glasses Bro found this inexplicable.

“Well, it’s like this. His house is basically our demolition team’s headquarters. If I keep it there with the team, Sis can’t kill me.” Lin Jie explained: “Right now, there’s no one at Xiao Zhan’s apartment, anyway. The top floor is plenty big, it can make a mess, and I don’t have to clean up afterwards.

“As expected, you’re still shameless.” Glasses Bro said.

So, the two of them came to the apartment complex together. Surprisingly, Xiao Zhan was already there.

“It’s about time.” Lin Jie saw Xiao Zhan standing at the door.

“About time, your sister!” Xiao Zhan glared angrily at Lin Jie: “Care to explain to me what this thing is doing in my apartment?”

Xiao Zhan was talking about the dog that he had just found in his home.

“Oh, him! I felt sorry for this poor, homeless dog, so I decided to keep it in your apartment.” Lin Jie said: “But more importantly, you seem to have finally recovered your wits.”

“You have no shame!” Xiao Zhan said: “I almost had to go right back to the mental facility after seeing the state of this place.”

Lin Jie finally caught a glimpse of the inside of Xiao Zhan’s apartment. It looked like it had been ransacked by burglars. Not much remained undamaged.

“That’s incredible. He’s so little, but he can already do this much. He’ll definitely grow up to be very strong.” Lin Jie couldn’t help but sigh.

“That’s not the point, look at my floor.” Xiao Zhan pointed to an item on the floor.

Lin Jie followed Xiao Zhan’s finger and saw the dog playing with the censored decontamination stick. He was making it vibrate to make more milk come out.

“No way!” Lin Jie was stunned by this scene.

“When I came back, it was already drinking the milk!” Xiao Zhan said: “Just think about my feelings as the homeowner! And can you explain how it managed to get into my arsenal? I didn’t set it up so simply that a dog could crack it. Now do you understand what I’m feeling? And most importantly, I stepped in dog poop as soon as I entered the house!”

Faced with Xiao Zhan’s questioning, Lin Jie couldn’t help take a step back. “I was wondering why you smelled so bad! Now it makes sense.”

“Do you still have no shame?” Xiao Zhan said: “I never imagined my strong arsenal protection system would be cracked by a dog, but that’s not even all! Look at him, he’s laughing at me. Just look at him!”

“Calm down! Let’s clean up the house first.” Glasses Bro said: ” I heard that you just got out of the mental hospital. You shouldn’t get too worked up.”

“How can you ask me to be calm?!” Xiao Zhan said: “I don’t care, just get this dog out of here!”

“Can’t you raise it here, big bro Xiao?” A sweet voice came from behind Lin Jie.

Lin Mumu had just arrived, holding hands with another loli who was about the same size as she was.

.”It’s so helpless, just keep it.” Mumu’s loli friend pleaded with Xiao Zhan.

“But…” Xiao Zhan hesitated.

“Can’t you?” Lin Mumu’s eyes began to fill with tears.

Xiao Zhan helplessly retreated: “It’s fine, you can keep it here with your big bro Xiao.”

“You still need to let go of Doudou!” Lin Mumu’s little friend told Xiao Zhan.

“Oh.” Xiao Zhan released his hold subconsciously.

“Mumu, what are you doing here?” Lin Jie asked. “You should be in school right now.”

“We had the ability assessment test this afternoon.” Xiao Loli said from beside Mumu. “We took it early.”

“Oh? Assessment test?”Lin Jie tapped his chin and asked: “How did you do?”

“Qingqing and I are both A-rank, big bro Lin.” Lin Mumu said cheerfully: “We’re in the school’s top ten.”

“Is that so? Our little sis is really amazing.” Lin Jie patted Mumu on the head.

“Of course! Mumu and I can’t be compared to you three D-rank scum.” Xiao Loli said from beside Mumu.

“This child leaves no room for pride.” Glasses Bro said with a wry smile.

“Well, let’s go play with Doudou.” The little loli, whose name was Qingqing, pulled Mumu into the apartment. Suddenly, she gave a scream and ran out with Mumu: “You big brothers are really perverted scum!”

Entering the house, their eyes were greeted by this scene: Doudou the dog was standing in a puddle of white liquid, and in the puddle was a heap of decontamination sticks that kept sending out more liquid…

“Crap! It hasn’t been cleaned up yet!” Xiao Zhan reacted at last.

“Wait! Listen here, this is not what it looks like!” Xiao Zhan said: “It was Doudou, he’s the one who took those out.”

“Yes! It really is like that.” Lin Jie grabbed the little lolis.

“I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! I’m going to call the cops! I’m definitely going to call the police to arrest all three of you.” Qingqing shook her head and said: “The teacher said, even if you try to explain your perversions, don’t believe it!”

“Wait! The two of them are perverted, sure, but don’t put me in with them, too!!” Glasses Bro was very unhappy with the little Lolita’s words.

“Let us go.” Qingqing took Mumu and said: “Or I’ll teach you a lesson.”

“Hey, don’t make trouble. I’ll buy you some candy in a bit. You can trust us.” Glasses Bro used the food bribery method.

“Teacher was right! Perverts really do use that trick.” Qingqing said: “Let’s go, let’s go and call the cops to arrest these three perverts.”

“But, they really are good people.” Lin Mumu said.

“Don’t be fooled by the appearances of these adults!” Qingqing said: “They’re just wolves in sheep’s clothing!”

“Just what did that teacher say to this unfortunate child?” Lin reached out and stopped Qingqing from leaving.

“Let go!”

“You can go after you hear us out! We are even registered heroes.” Lin Jie told her.

“Just listen!” Xiao Zhan said: “That’s actually my weapon…”

“Don’t try to convince me you aren’t a pervert!” Qingqing said.

“Seriously, the more you talk the worse you make it sound!” Xiao Zhan said helplessly.

“Let me go! Let me go! I have to call the cops.” Qingqing said.

“Listen here. I’ll say it agian.” Lin Jie said. “If I let go and you run to the police, my reputation will be destroyed.”

It was a pity that the little loli simply didn’t not intend to listen to them.

“AAAAHHH!” Her shrill scream rang out on the top floor of the apartment complex, and a sound wave centered around the little loli spread across the top floor, shattering all the glasses in its way.

In the end, the three people who had worn themselves ragged trying to explain finally got through to the loli. Then, as she watched, they gathered up and put away the decontamination sticks.

The dog was still happily licking the milk on the floor.

Lin Jie and the others found a place to sit down. “This is all your fault! Why did you have to grab the kid!” Xiao Zhan said.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Lin Jie asked loudly. “I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING CLEARLY.”

“I SAID, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GRAB THE LITTLE KID!” Xiao Zhan shouted.

“AH! I KNOW, THAT KID’S VOICE IS SO LOUD!!” Lin Jie shouted at Xiao Zhan. “WHO KNEW YOUR DECONTAMINATION STICKS COULD CAUSE SO MUCH TROUBLE?”

“WHAT?” Xiao Zhan asked.

“I SAID, IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOUR CENSORED STICKS, THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED.” Lin Jie shouted.

“SO SHAMELESS!” Xiao Zhan shouted back. “IF YOU HADN’T LEFT THAT DOG AT MY HOUSE, WOULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED? I JUST GOT OUT OF THE MENTAL HOSPITAL! ANYONE ELSE WOULD GET TO REST, BUT INSTEAD I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS FIASCO! IN THE END, IF THIS MAKES ME RELAPSE, I’LL END UP HAVING TO GO BACK!”

“SPEAKING OF, WHAT HAPPENED AT THAT TRAINING!” asked Lin Jie.

“THIRTEEN WAS THERE! OBVIOUSLY THE TRAINING WAS DOOMED! THEN GLASSES BRO DISAPPEARED! THEN WE ALL BECAME LIKE THIS! I WON’T TALK ABOUT IT! I REALLY DON’T WANT TO REMEMBER!” Xiao Zhan shouted.

“SPEAKING OF, GLASSES IS BLEEDING OVER THERE!” Lin Jie saw Glasses sitting on the side of the room, bleeding, with his soul escaping.

“WHAT! THAT SOUND WAVE SHOULDN’T BE THIS LETHAL!”

“HE JUST CAME OUT OF THAT WORLD TODAY, AND HE DIDN’T GO THERE WILLINGLY. HE WAS A LITTLE INJURED, AND HE DIDN’T EAT FOR A FEW DAYS, SO HIS BODY IS VERY WEAK.” Lin Jie said. “CRAP! I DON’T THINK HE’S BREATHING!”

“HURRY TO THE HOSPITAL!” Xiao Zhan squatted with Lin Jie and carried Glasses Bro downstairs.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something…” Lin Jie said.

“Take him!” Xiao Zhan said: “Take care of him first!”

—

At this moment, on a different street in H City, a huge monster that Lin Jie had defeated was lying quietly on the ground, surrounded by many powerful heroes.

There were also quite a few reporters present! Several superheroes were examining the monster in front of them.

The monster had been lying here when they arrived.

As a result, the evening headline read like this:

MYSTERIOUS HERO IN H CITY KNOCKS OUT MONSTER AND LEAVES WITHOUT COLLECTING BOUNTY!

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Howdy friends! I guess this long delay is what happens when I go too long without my ADHD medication. hehe my bad…

Anyway, wow, this chapter, though…I have no words…

I’ll try to stay more on top of this, anyway. :p Expect another chapter soon!

-miriga <3