Hero of Darkness - Chapter 1049: The Self-Actualization

After the sudden realization dawned on Kahn, he started evaluating his self-worth as a man given how empty and lifeless his created world was.

It was a realm that reflected his characteristics as a living being but there was nothing else but darkness and vast deadlands.

While he could not ascertain the exact meaning behind the lifeless world he created…

The sword saint, Miyamoto Musashi spoke calmly…

“However, based on my personal experience, this is not its final form.” he declared.

“What?” asked Kahn, surprised.

“The riverside of the village where I have been training you until now is just one of the sections of my world.

And that came into existence after I had a lot of self-inspection.” he said.

“The place where I taught you the samurai swordsmanship…

Was a recollection of the memories of my hometown.” he revealed.

“It happened decades after I achieved the 4th-enlightenment.

So if it can happen to me, then it shall happen to you.” spoke the sword saint as he gently patted on Kahn’s left shoulder.

“This world… is not only the representation of what you have been or what you are right now.

But also what you will become.” iterated the samurai saint in a tone filled with wisdom.

Humm!

As soon as the sword saint spoke those words…

Kahn’s entire body suddenly froze and he felt as if the time itself stopped suddenly as he received an epiphany.

The realm he created reflected who he was and is as a person.

And hearing those words from Miyamoto Musashi, he recognized another truth about himself as a person.

[What have I ever done for the outside world?

I killed people and monsters when I needed to, I saved others when I needed to or felt like it was my responsibility to do so.

In the end, everything was done solely out of either an obligation or to serve me in one way or the other.] he thought to himself.

[Hell, even achieving the 4th enlightenment was something someone else arranged for me. I did not seek to advance to it by myself. I say that I want to seek strength, authority, influence, and powers in terms of warrior classes, magic spells, and blacksmithing… to stand on the top of the food chain so that I no longer have to be looking over my shoulder.

But have I ever done something if it wasn’t out of necessity?] questioned Kahn as he made a retrospective analysis of all his actions up until this point.

Tremble!

Shiver!

Kahn’s body shook as he looked at his own hands with a shaken resolve.

[Have I ever done something for someone else out of my own will or kindness of my heart?

Hell, I even saved Kassandra that day because she reminded me of my past self since she was in a similar situation as the suicidal Elric.

But what if it wasn’t the case? Would I have saved her out of my free will or any sense of protectiveness?] he questioned himself again.

[I neither follow a code nor a decree as a man. I’m neither a man of god nor a man of honor. I do not believe in a cause or work to build something in this world.

Have I ever done any good deed without a reason just because it felt the right thing to do?

Am I even truly alive or I am just a soulless empty husk of a man?] he bombarded himself with these self-criticizing words.

Even Miyamoto Mushashi was taken aback by Kahn’s countenance but a slight and pleasant smile appeared on his face.

[This is good. He is going through the same thing that I once did.

It’s something every man should go through at least once in their life.] he thought to himself.

Although Kahn was having an existential crisis, the sword saint was elated with a content expression.

Kahn’s body shivered and his heart palpitated as his eyes were locked into the void.

For the first time, instead of celebrating his massive milestone and achievement, Kahn asked himself from the bottom of his heart…

“What’s the meaning of my life?” he spoke out in the open.

But as soon as he uttered those words of self-doubt…

“Do not be harsh on yourself. One does not discover who they really are or what they stand for in a single day. It’s an arduous journey that takes many a big chunk of their lifetime.

And very few are privy to understanding themselves instead of blaming the outside world and circumstance for their life.

People conform to their surroundings to survive and thrive. Yet they lose themselves in the process.

Sometimes…” spoke the sword saint as he looked around the vast desolate open lands.

“One finds themselves by overcoming the darkness within.”

A sudden surge of actualization washed over Kahn’s mind.

“Maybe you’re right. This world reflects the darkness in my heart.

That is why there is no life, no light, or a single living thing here. It is simply a place of loneliness and hollowness.” declared Kahn as he too understood the wisdom behind those words.

“And this is the darkness I must conquer to find myself.” he spoke and his expression calmed.

Kahn then looked at the samurai warrior with a beard and revealed an appreciative expression.

“I would not have made it if not for your books with your lifetime of discovery, experience and knowledge.

If I didn’t have you directly guiding me and correcting my mistakes or my approach at every step of the way… It would have taken me more than a decade to achieve this on my own.

You didn’t directly tell me how to achieve it. But you helped me prepare a mindset that knew where I should look and where I shouldn’t waste my time.

I don’t say this easily to anyone. But…” said Kahn to Miyamoto Musashi

Kahn made a 90-degree bow in front of the Sword Saint and for the first time…

“Thank you… Sensei.”