Hessian Does A Thing - Volume 1 Chapter 4 The Hero Of Plumbing

Hessian Aversis Schweinorg was experiencing one of the greatest dilemmas of his life. His plumbing was in need of fixing again. Like his last life before his death. Water wasn’t coming out of the sink and his toilet wasn’t flushing. He had no idea how to fix it. Maybe destroy his house and make a completely new house? No, that’s too much work. Structurally grasp his house and figure out the issue? He still wouldn’t know what the problem is, since he doesn’t know how the inner workings of his house normally is.

Currently he was walking outside. He had no choice because he wasn’t able to flush at home, so he went to a public restroom. His excessive contemplation and low mutters scared off everyone around him as he aimlessly walked around to try and think of a solution. After nearly an hour, he collapsed to his knees and roared to the heavens.

“WHY DOES MY TOILET NOT WORK!!!” he cried out with actual tears.

“Um, do you need help?” a voice came behind him but he didn’t move as he was too busy with his depression.

“Unless you’re a plumber then no.” he replied in a hollow voice.

“If you want, I can take a look at it. I have experience with fixing things” And just like that, Hessian snapped his head to take in his fellow teenager. He had a slightly messy auburn/red colored hair. His eyes were golden brown. Hessian immediately recognized the prospective Hero of Justice. But he didn’t care about that, all that mattered was this man might be able to fix his pipes. Non-s.e.x.u.a.lly ofcourse.

The young magician waited outside his restroom as he waited for the young wannabe hero to save his house. After about 10 minutes of pacing, he saw the young Emiya walk out.

“Give it to me straight doc.” He said dramatically fearing the worst

The third-rate magus didn’t react to it. “Your valve was just stuck, it should work fine now.” he said as Hessian dashed into his restroom and checked the sink. The water ran down fine and the toilet properly flushed. Hessian was truly ecstatic as this problem may be completely mundane for others. But to him, who had killed himself after experiencing this in his past life. This was one of the greatest, albeit dumbest trauma he had that carried over into this life.

He clapped his hands on the young harem protagonist’s shoulders and with complete seriousness, he made a pledge. “Young Hero of Plumbing, from this point on. I, Hessian Schweinorg shall be your friend! Should you require my assistance, I got you!” he vowed with complete seriousness

“Ah, don’t mention it. It’s not wrong to help others” he said a little rattled from the young magician’s strangeness

“Right, well how much do I owe you for the job?” Hessian asked as he took out his wallet. This saved him from having to call a plumber. Plus he probably wouldn’t have called a plumber because it would have been too much work.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to pay me. Well I need to get home and prepare dinner” Only to be stopped as Hessian clamped down on his shoulder.

“Hold it, you have no idea how much this means to me. I have to pay you back with something.” he said in complete seriousness

“Like I said, you don’t hav-”

“You’re a magus right?” the declaration caused the young Emiya to still as he became alert and cautious. Which Hessian noticed.

“What do you want” came the tense reply

“No need to be alarmed. I could feel your prana when you used structural grasping earlier” Hessian said as he created a wooden chair leg and held it out towards Shirou.

“Take this and try to reinforce it” he instructed

“Why?” the magus asked confused

“Just do it”

Emiya Shirou, a survivor of the Fuyuki fire from 8 years ago. Took on his adopted father’s dream to become a Hero of justice. Before Kiritsugu’s death, he had been learning magecraft from him so he could use it to help with that dream. Unfortunately he had very little talent in using his magic, but that never stopped him from trying. Structurally grasping things wasn’t that difficult, but whenever he tried to reinforce anything. He tended to get bad results.

Earlier today, he had found another person in need of help. The person looked like he was around his age, his hair was black and looked like he had a bad case of bed-head. His eyes were a light shade of turquoise. However the most important thing wasn’t that. It was that he looked like he needed help. Oddly enough, the other teen’s problem was his plumbing. A bit much to despair for, but it didn’t matter.

He needed help.

After fixing the issue, he was surprised by Hessian’s pledge to be his friend. He rejected the offer of payment, just the act of helping someone was enough for him. However when he casually revealed his identity as a magus, his heart went cold. His muscles stiff and his mind in panic as he was caught. He was in another magi’s territory, his chances of escape were low. He calmed down a little when the other magus told him he meant no harm, but he was still tense. Emiya watched as Hessian created a wooden stick. He hadn’t felt any use of prana. Was his skills so great that he couldn’t even detect his magic from this close!?

“Take this and try to reinforce it.” he instructed

“Why?” he asked cautiously

“Just do it” he had a deadpan expression on.

Activating his magic circuits. Shirou immediately felt incredible pain, as if a hot iron rod was stuck down his back. Blue lines began to cover the wooden chair leg. Ignoring the pain, he continued to keep his focus. Then the chair leg exploded.

“Whew” Hessian whistled.

“I haven’t had much progress on that.” Shirou admitted as the intense pain began to leave his body

“Well ofcourse you haven’t. You aren’t using your magic circuits” Hessian said which caused Shirou to pause

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been cannibalizing your nerves as make-shift circuits. Have you noticed how you always felt pain when using your magic? It’s a surprise you haven’t killed yourself yet.” Hessian replied which made him confused. Wasn’t pain normal? Also he could have killed himself?

“It’s not normal. take off your shirt and turn around.” Shirou didn’t know why Hessian palmed his own face after saying that but he followed the instructions anyway.

He felt a pulse of prana wash over his body which immediately caused him to feel a quick stinging sensation. “gah!” he yelped as the pain left as soon as it came.

“There, I opened you’re dormant circuits. You have 27 of them. From now on, stop using you’re nerves and the pain should go away.”

“Thank you.” He truly was grateful.

“Also, if you want my advice. I suggest practicing your projection. I also recommend blades” Shirou was a little confused about the advice to practice on a spell that his father said was useless, but he seemed to know what he was doing.

After letting the Hero of Plumbing leave, Hessian collapsed back on his bean bag. He felt pretty good about himself for helping out the protagonist. He was sincerely grateful for the help on his plumbing. Making friends with him would be a great idea in case his house had other similar issues in the future.

As he was idly contemplating his actions, he failed the notice the water balloon heading towards his face.

“WTF?!” he yelled as he wiped off his face after instinctually making a towel.

“GAHAHAHAHAHA!” he heard the familiar annoying laugh he hadn’t heard in a few years.

“Old man?” he called out incredulously “Where the hell have you been? It’s been years!”

He calmed his chuckling “Well, I actually forgot to come back.” He admitted

“Somehow I’m not surprised. Well what about the Kaleidobelt?” To answer him, a black gem flew out and presented itself.

“Greetings master, I am Kaleido Onyx” the round jewel defied physics as it bowed despite being made of solid material.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Hessian. So do we have to make a contract or something?” he asked

“Unnecessary master. I have been linked to you since my creation. However I lacked the ability to move or communicate with you at the time.” the jewel now named Onyx said depressingly

“Ah, my bad. I wasn’t sure how to make you properly.” Hessian did it on a whim back then.

“Apologies are unnecessary master, I’m just glad to exist” the young magician was pretty happy, especially considering that the stick wasn’t trying to turn him into a magical girl

“A-ahem” the old man coughed, getting his attention.

“Well then, let’s get started on you’re training.” he said with a glint in his red eyes which sent chills down Hessian’s spine

“So what do I gotta do?” he asked a bit fearfully.

“Oh nothing much, you just need to get back home.” he cheerfully stated.

“But I am ho- AHHH!” he started to say until he fell down a hole filled with refracting colors underneath him.

Hessian felt himself hit the ground. He noted that the surface felt grainy. Looking up to take in the view, he was greeted with nothing but sand.

“Dammit old man.” he groaned as he let his face fall to the ground again.