Hessian Does A Thing - Volume 1 Chapter 72 Therapy

Hessian POV

“And that’s pretty much my problem” I finished my story as I laid on the long couch.

[… Master Hessian, I am not programmed for therapy] Onyx informed me as he floated over from his seat with a floating pen and clipboard.

I had decided to try and get myself some therapy for my issue in which the readers will hopefully never know about. In fact, if any readers or R.O.Bs are reading this. Just skip these serious chapters and pretend they never happened. It’s not good to spy on other people’s problems!

“I suppose that was an oversight on my part when I programmed you. But in my defense, I didn’t think someone as insane as myself would ever benefit from therapy.” Honestly, to think the day would come when I would need therapy. I’m normally 50% chill and 50% insane, but right now I’m 50% depressed and 50% insane. That’s not a good combination.

[Perhaps getting a second opinion would be of use in your odd situation.] he recommended as I paused for a moment

“You know what, maybe you’re onto something there.”

[Have you tried speaking to lady Ereshkigal about it?] Onyx asked

“What? No! She is the last person I would speak to about this.” There are some really sensitive stuff I’d rather she not know about.

[I believe she would be understanding about it.] I know she probably would, but I still don’t want to talk to her about this.

“I.. I just don’t want to bother her with this.” It’s time to go find some people to talk to.

“Aaaaaah.”

“Really? Maybe you have a point.” Hessian sighed as he took some advice from Tiamat.

The two were currently sitting on the sidelines of a soccer match while the kids(Lahmu) were competing. Indeed, Tiamat has become a soccer mom, she was even dressed for the part. Their relationship, while officially married. Is more closer to friends with benefits. It especially helps that Hessian can understand her speech, so they enjoy eachother’s company from time to time.

“Aaaaaaaah!”

“No! Don’t listen to her kids! No matter what, it is not acceptable to rip the other team in half!” Hessian shouted to the Lahmu who nearly began a murder spree of the other team.

“Aaaah…” Tiamat seemed to be pouting

“KEHEHEHEHEHEAHAHAHA!”

Hessian glanced to the laughter, only to facepalm at the sight of one of the Lahmu horrifically ripping the body of the other player in half.

“Godamnit Jerry!” He named them since it was weird not to distinguish them. Now he would have to revive and erase memories later.

“Aaaaaaahhh!!” Tiamat seemed to approve though

“So I was hoping I could get your thoughts on it.” Hessian finished as Mash poured the two tea.

“mm, I’m not sure what to think about that Senpai.” Mash honestly replied after listening to her Senpai’s problems. “But, I believe no matter what you decide to do. It would end up all right.”

“It’s embarrassing that you have that much faith in me.” He sighed as his Kouhai gave him a bright smile.

“No matter what situation you were in, you’ve always dealt with it your own way. I believe that you are better off doing what you do best.”

“And that is?” he rose a brow

“Winging it.” she smiled. It’s true that the Hessian way is to wing it most of the time.

“Nobuu! Nobu nob”

“Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to take up some of your vacation time.” Hessian said as they were in the new nation of Nobu which sprouted up recently.

Apparently, chibi nobu had become the de-facto leader of the country within a couple days of conquest. Currently, there are talks of a third world war against the Nobu alliance.

“Nobu.. Nobu nob, nobuu no.” The chibi nobu added

“It’s just, I can’t help but care about this more than I usually care about things.” this was one of the few things that he felt strongly about.

“Nobuu!”

“You’re right. Thanks for the talk Chibi Nobu, see ya next week.” he waved goodbye before disappearing.

Now Chibi Nobu would get back to her one week conquest of the world.

“Why did you bring us to a bar? You know were not old enough to drink right?” Ichigo said as he took a seat in the same booth as the other protagonists.

“I’m not old enough to drink either Hessian-san” Bell admitted as he rubbed his head

“I would rather have tea.” Shirou added as he prepared to order tea

“Well I just turned 21, so it’s time for me to legally drink. I feel like it’d be better if I was drunk for this.” Hessian sighed as everyone else ordered a non-alcoholic drink. While he just ordered the strongest stuff to get himself talking more.

“Eh? It’s your birthday?” Bell asked

“Yep, and now I can legally drink. Although I’ve drank in the past, might as well do it officially this time.” Hessian raised a glass and downed it

“So Ichigo, I heard you got Zangetsu back.” Hessian spoke before pouring himself another shot.

“Hmm? Yeah, that Muramasa bastard actually got in my inner world.” he became annoyed when he spoke about the guy who was releasing all the Zanpakuto

“Relax, we’ll deal with it eventually.” He waved his hand as he really wasn’t worried about the Sword rebellion after watching the filler arc recently.

“I’m surprised you aren’t spending this day with Ereshkigal-san.” Shirou said from the side

“Ehhh, it’s fine. I don’t really celebrate birthdays after 15, it just feels odd after that. Plus I’m here to get your opinion about my problem.” Hessian said as he downed another shot

“Ah! That’s right, what did you want to talk to us about Hessian-san?” Bell asked as they got back on subject.

“Well….”

3 HOURS LATER

Hessian sat with his head slumped over the table. He let the shounen protagonists go back to their respective worlds. He was hoping for some enlightenment from his talk with the protagonists. But it was exactly as he expected. Their reasons and words matched their character types. Shirou was a bit different, but the core of it remained the same.

He ignored the footsteps approaching his table as he spilled his drink. He really was drunk, he didn’t stop himself from getting drunk since he needed it to talk.

“You know, I’m a little hurt that you decided not to confide in me.” He turned his head from the table to see Eresh taking a seat next to him.

“Ohh… Hey babe.” Hessian mumbled out in his drunk stupor.

“Don’t hey babe me. Now out with it already.” she spoke with a no nonsense tone.

Hessian’s body motioned back and forth for a moment until he rested his face in his lover’s busom. He would like to say that he didn’t act like a crying drunk that day, but it would be a lie. He spilled everything out like a gushing dam in his drunk stupor. He didn’t leave his lover’s embrace through the whole story, eventually he felt much better. Although Ereshkigal didn’t provide any answers for him, he felt like a weight lifted from his shoulders.

Eventually he lifted his head from her tits still drunk out of his mind. And he started to sing.

“OHHH ERESH~! YOU’RE SO FINE! YOU’RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND!~” Obviously his drunk singing was terrible, but the death goddess sat through it anyway.

“YOU’RE LOVE TAKING ME HIGHERRR!~ HIIGHERRR!~” However she did feel embarrassed about it.

THE NEXT DAY

“Alright, let’s do this.” Hessian spoke with his usual confidence back.

[Have you thought it all through Master Hessian?] Onyx asked

“Nope, but I feel so much better now. And I’ve learned Onyx. The best person to talk to this about, is myself. Which is currently waiting for me to wreck his shit!” Hessian declared as resplendent light returned in his eyes

Hessian had decided it was time to confront Nanashi again.