How To End a Crush - Chapter 4.1

I held a thick book on literature in one of my hands as I continuously bit my lower lip.

I got to the club meeting early. In fact, I was so early that nobody else had arrived yet.

Chomp.

The dull sound of me biting my fingernails was the only sound that could be heard in the room.

For sure I’m going to have to drop out.

According to the contents of the book, I should close off my heart before something bad happened, but every time I saw Noah, I just couldn’t end my feelings for him.

Perhaps Dora has a spot open in her cooking club.

“Ugh.”

That’s not happening today though.

It would probably be best to get some rest today as my insides were churning for some reason.

My heart was pounding wildly. I set the book down on the desk and tore one of its pages out.

<Flora, I’m not feeling so well today, so I don’t think I could make it to the club meeting today. I’ll see you next week. ~Kate >

As I was briskly writing out the note, I clasped my churning stomach as the feeling became worse. I was about to leave in a hurry when I saw that all too familiar shimmering silvery hair right in front of my eyes. He spoke in a soft voice.

“Are you sick?”

“Oh, you surprised me!” I said in a startled voice. Awkward silence soon filled the room and I just vacantly stood there with my mouth shut.

“Uh… Noah.”

Noah just continued to idly stare down at me as he held the note I had written in his hand.

“Y-You’re here early.”

I felt Noah’s lovely breath on my neck. I raised my hand to rub the strange sensation of his breath against my skin while, at the same time, I averted my eyes from his gaze.

“???”

His golden eyes behind his glasses stared at me with a piercing gaze. I tried to avoid locking eyes with him, but he continued to firmly stare at me.

Wh-Why does he keep looking at me? Have I done something wrong?

I was nervous and unconsciously gulped. Suddenly, he touched his cool hand to my forehead.

I pursed my lips together, half out of embarrassment and half out of excitement.

He removed his hand for a moment and pressed his other hand gently against my forehead. His lips opened slightly as he spoke.

“I don’t think you have a fever.”

“M-My stomach hurts.”

Noah tilted his head. His eyes reflected a slight bit of worry.

“Would you like me to take you to the nurse’s office?”

“That’s okay. I think I’ll be okay if I just go back to my dorm and take a nap.”

My answer was straight-up dishonest.

If Noah were to accompany me back to my dorm room, I’d probably feel so nervous that I would likely throw up along the way. If that were to happen, I’d really just rather die right then and there.

“Wait a moment. Before you go…”

I turned around in a heartbeat upon hearing his words. I stood there, waiting for him to continue.

“I just wanted to give you this. It’s a notebook of everything that I wrote down during my sophomore year. You mentioned that you didn’t do so well on the exams, so I thought it’d be helpful to you.”

“Oh… Thank you, Noah.”

I took the priceless notebook from him as if I were receiving the Holy Grail itself.

He’s such a good person.

In that moment, I began to feel apologetic for how selfishly I’ve been regarding him.

“Oh, could you also let Flora know why I won’t be able to attend the club meeting today? I’d appreciate it, Noah. Thank you!”

I bowed my head to him and then flew out of the classroom at lightning speed.

Noah hesitated and appeared to open his mouth, but he soon closed his eyes and slightly shook his head, appearing to think again before saying nothing.

“Ugh… Why did I say that? ‘Thank you, Noah.’ That must have sounded so stupid.”

I lightly slapped myself on the cheek several times as the scene replayed in my mind again and again.

I glanced over to the side and saw my reflection in the window. My face had become so red that it looked as if it were about to explode.

I placed both of my hands on my cheeks and quite nearly swore aloud in an audible whisper.

“Son of a…”

You’ve got to be kidding me? Don’t tell me my face was this red when I was talking with Noah?

***

That notebook he gave me was written with perfect handwriting… And I mean PERFECT handwriting. All of the content that he underlined looked as if it were done with a ruler and the styling of the letters couldn’t have possibly looked any more sharp and professional. This wasn’t a notebook, this was a work of art.

“I wonder what that was all about earlier, Noah rubbing my head,” I mumbled as I flipped through the notebook, resting my chin on my hand.