How To Make The Ice Prince Fall - zChapter 191

Katherine’s dreams were bad, and she tossed and turned several times, making it hard for Nathaniel to remain asleep. Around five in the morning, he decided that he’d had enough. Besides, he didn’t know what Katherine would think when waking in his arms after all he told her yesterday. It was unavoidable that one would recall the bad news when seeing the messenger who brought them. Though it seemed like she didn’t hate him, that didn’t mean she was as comfortable around him as she used to.

So, he sought out poor Aston to have a refreshening morning duel – or “torture him to death” how his grumpy younger brother called it. The rest of the camp slowly awoke to their clinking of swords from afar.

Katherine was not better than anyone else in this aspect. But despite being awake, she laid quietly and unmoving like a corpse. Her violet eyes gazed at the fabric of the tent above, but their lively glitter was gone.

What seemed like hours later, she slowly crawled outside and sat by the fireplace. Someone handed her a bowl with soup, but after filling the spoon once, she didn’t move anymore and just blankly stared into the flames.

Flames and fire… she had occasionally seen the main magic of Dragsa, but it were always joyous encounters on festivities or artistic show-casting of proud nobles. Now, she wondered how much destruction this element could bring to commoners. How devastated people felt in front of it, and how much of this devastation a lonely, possibly crazy princess could have brought… the number of people burned by the dragsean army must be enormous already, but if this magic was empowered… and how come the princess had a recovery ability that was – even just slightly – comparable to hers? Through the answers of her former questions, new topics kept popping up. And with it, the down-casting gloom and tragic sadness death brought about…

Like the death of her parents. Partrick and Shayenne Balder. She’d never known how many strings were attached to their passing, how many personal and political gains and intrgues. It felt like fate, as if everything she could have done back then would’ve lead to the same outcome. Maybe they were destined to die such a horrible death, betrayed by their blood and abandoned by their king and subjects alike. When judgment fell, nobody dared to object the will of the king. What could she have done if they were forsaken by the world? Forsaken by everyone…

A pair of slender hands finally sat the bowl and spoon aside and took Katherine’s hands. As if far away, Katherine watched Lady Orchid talk to her, rub her fingers and arms in an attempt to warm her and finally lay a blanket around her shoulders. Yet inside her, Katherine felt cold and unmoved like stone deep underground.

Maybe it was because she had kept it bottled up for too long, distracted by the ever-new dangers and sights around her, but after the big outbreak yesterday, Katherine seemed to have exhausted all her emotions. She was but a hollow body, the same as before her journey to Hymirhall. Nothing had changed. She had made no progress. Compared to her enemies, she was a minuscule speck of dust, tumbling aimlessly in the empty air. Where she healed one or two, just a bit of fire or ice could kill countless more. The intrigues of the kingdoms were far above her strength.

Suddenly, another familiar face appeared before her. It looked concerned; the white brows knitted together. Somehow, she found it wrong that the person kneeled on the ground, but she couldn’t say why. Then he took her head in his big hands and lifted her chin. She followed his movements willingly like a puppet.

“Katherine?” As his deep, concerned voice rang in her ears, the rough feeling of his steady hands on her skin, and the scent of firewood, coffee, and sweat aulted her all at once. It was like a string pulling her back into the world of color. Too much at once. She gasped, tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her, forcing her to look at him. And as her eyes finally connected with his, her movement slowed down until it came to a standstill. Crumbled together like a sail without wind, she sat there. Then, unsettled, she swallowed and averted her eyes. The dirty exterior of her shoes reminded her of the long way they had come. It was just as much as was still before her, if she dared to embrace it.

It was this moment that she thought that maybe, just maybe she was not as courageous as she always thought herself to be. Because now, when it came to confronting the truth, she didn’t dare do it. She’d rather talk about something else and keep her wounds and worries to herself. She’d rather forget that the talk yesterday existed and just keep on hating her cousin for everything.

A bit embarrassed, Katherine glanced to the side and noticed that everyone had distanced themselves from Nathaniel and her, deliberately not glancing in their direction.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was ly a whisper.

“What for?” The man before her still sounded so irritably confident, his face an unreadable block of stone. Yet she knew that beneath it, Nathaniel also had a soft side. That he understood pain very well and could also be hurt like any human being.

She exhaled. “I didn’t want you to see me like… like yesterday.”

Was she imagining things or did a warm glitter appear in his eyes? Something like red sparks gleaming in the ash, brightening from a sudden wind. “There is nothing to be sorry for.”

Slowly, she shook her head. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. It was mean to say that I might hate you. I just felt so… vulnerable. Anxious. Afraid that the facts, my moral compass, and the bounds to my family, would force us apart. I didn’t want to hurt you like that and… and wail like some kind of, uhm, you know…”

When she didn’t know any further and just moved her hand, a small smile appeared upon his lips, though his eyes remained deep and gentle. “Hearing from your mouth that you were afraid for us, actually makes me a bit happy. I don’t want you to cry, but it is better in front of me than lonely into your pillow, remember that. The opportunities to take care of you are rare and precious to me. I will gladly comfort you any time in the future as well.”

“Would be great if you never have to”, Katherine muttered unwillingly. She just hated being weak. For herself, as well as in front of others.

“Yes and no”, Nathaniel replied seriously. “Yes… and no.”

He thought that it would be joyous just as much as a tragedy, but as he knew her character, he left it at that. Seeing that she had calmed down and wasn’t as depressed anymore, he sat beside her and gently asked: “What were you thinking about before? You seemed to be very deeply in thought.” .

The relaxed state Katherine just reached turned into tenseness again. Yet, she answered truthfully. “About my parents. I wondered if there had been any way to save them.”

As he’d already expected such an answer, Nathaniel wasn’t surprised. Studying her profile against the greenery beyond, he asked: “And what conclusion did you reach?”

Katherine exhaled slowly, and her gaze wandered over the crowns of the trees blown about by a breeze, and up to the white clouds above, a forecast for heavy rain. The neutral view helped her to think with the same cold logic her husband used at the most critical times, suppressing all emotions, and letting the facts lead her way to the truth.

“My judgment is on the condition of what you told me yesterday. I belief it all to be true, first because it fits the way my parents’ trial was held, and second because I trust your sincerity. With this said, I come to the conclusion that only they themselves or someone more powerful could have saved them. Someone like a royal maybe, but it also had to be someone recognized in the Dragsa kingdom. Only someone like that could have stirred up the nobles and common folk enough to make a change. Maybe even a rebellion.”

There was a long silence between them before Katherine’s gaze fell on her beloved. “When I met you, you were not recognized by King William. Though you possessed money and power, you were just a simple Earl in the end. Neither were you royalty, nor a Dragsean. So, you fulfilled neither of the two conditions.. In the end, even if you wanted to save them after hearing of their plight, all struggles would’ve been futile.”