I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin - CH 39

At three in the morning, a commonly seen white van stopped in front of a police station in a small town. The trunk at the back was opened and, as if kicked by something, a large object flew straight through the station door.

The van then sped off into the dawn and only a stream of exhaust fumes was left in its track.

Wang Xiao Mie was sitting in the back of the van playing with a polaroid while leaning on Wen Feng Jin.

“The photos of his crime and the weapons with his fingerprints were all included.”

“Robbing graves, killing, illegal gun possession… I think we’ll be able to see him on the news tomorrow or so.”

For someone who loved to wear a mask, what’s better than exposing his true color in public, and at the same time, keeping him locked up and making him pay for his crimes?

The people in this profession were not afraid of death but they were afraid of entering a place more terrifying than death: a place of no return.

Xiao Luo who was sitting in the passenger seat turned and looked back at the giggling Xiao Mie with a bit of a chill.

Although he was mystified as to why a thousand years old dumpling would know of the modern-day means, his master and him were saved by them. Now he could only fear them in silence.

Only his Shibo could happily sing while driving with a pair of zombies in the back of their van!

Advertisements

As for why they had become this strange band of four, it all started two days ago–

That day, they woke up in the underground palace and found out that the psycho Zhen Bei was beaten into a pig’s head and wrapped up like a mummy and Yan Chun had turned to ashes. They stood dumbfounded and stared at the big dumpling behaving like an ordinary family who had just been burglarized, guiding the monsters to clean up the grave.

Those bloodthirsty creatures were like the distorted version of Santa’s elves, rearranging the rocks, repairing the traps, and even wiping the footprints off the floor.

The scene was eerily ordinary.

And as they watched Wen Feng Jin frowning when he stared at the footprints on the floor of his glorious palace, Lei Jie and Xiao Luo felt a little guilty.

‘Sorry… If we knew the tomb owner was so particular about cleanliness, we would’ve brought our own slippers. But… how were we supposed to know that they cleaned the floor after chasing the tomb robbers away?!!!’

On top of that, the man in charge, named Wen Feng Jin, who had changed his attire and tidied up his silver hair into a crown only cared about the stains on the floor and not the two out-of-place intruders.

They felt like two vases collecting dust and the homeowner could not care less.

Lei Jie and Xiao Luo: “…..” ‘Why do I get a feeling we’re a disgrace to the tomb-robbing industry?’

The two ignored souls shrunk into a corner, watching the monsters do their chores and Wen Feng Jin with the ‘do not talk to this Lord’ look. They dared not ask or say anything.

After they spent their idle time checking the fully healed wounds on their bodies, the other tomb owner appeared.

Wang Xiao Mie was dressed in a new red gown and his hair was slightly drenched. He was carrying a teapot and walking towards them.

“Fantastic! You guys are awake! Thank you for helping me and my family’s Xiao Wenzi. Have some hot water. Ha ha, there are no tea leaves in this underground palace. I just brewed some petals, I hope you don’t mind. Here, have a try!”

Wang Xiao Mie gave them a gentle look and a warm smile. He even poured them two cups of hot water…

‘A zombie is serving us tea??? He’s also smiling at us???’

‘Disciple, where are we? It feels more like a visit to a relative.’

‘Shibo, wake up. We don’t have relatives who would serve us tea in beautiful thousand years old porcelain!!!’

Lei Jie and Xiao gawked at the museum exhibit in their hands and remained speechless.

Wang Xiao Mie did not understand the reason for their silence. He said, “Drink it. You’ve been asleep for so long, you should have some water and eat something.”

Seeing Wang Xiao Mie’s pure and harmless jade-like eyes, Lei Jie bravely took a sip first. Seeing his master drinking the hot water, Xiao Luo did the same.

The hot water slid from their mouths to their stomach, warming up their whole body and reducing their tension.

‘Disciple, this zombie is very kind.’

‘Yes yes, he’s more human-like than Zhen Bei.’

Right at the moment they mentioned him, Zhen Bei, who was still alive and tied up uttered a soft hum. It seemed he was about to wake up.

Before they could react, Wang Xiao Mie stood up. With the smile remaining on his face, he lifted the hem of his gown and gave Zhen Bei a kick to the head!

Zhen Bei’s eyes rolled over and he fainted again…

Seeing this scene, Lei Jie and Xiao Luo almost burst out laughing.

And then, like an angry housewife complaining to her husband that the water pipe was leaking again, he stepped on Zhen Bei and said to Wen Feng Jin, “Feng Jin, why is he awake again? His healing power is quite strong. How annoying.”

Wen Feng Jin left behind the cleaning supervision job and walked away. The indifference on his face immediately disappeared and a loving smile was formed.

“He must’ve taken some of Yan Chun’s blood but the effect should disappear soon… Xiao Mie, don’t lift your clothes up like that. And dry your hair properly.”

He then told Mu Yi to hand him a towel which he personally wrapped around Wang Xiao Mie’s hair to dry it for him.

“Ok~~~,” Wang Xiao Mie responded in a dragged out lazy voice. He then leaned back on Wen Feng Jin and rubbed his wet hair against Wen Feng Jin’s chin.

Wen Feng Jin picked up Wang Xiao Mie’s hair and rubbed gently with the towel. He was somewhat itchy but his eyes showed boundless indulgence.

“…..”

“…..”

Lei Jie put her cup down and thought, ‘I don’t want to eat this dog food.’

Xiao Luo finished his drink and nodded.

When the two zombies were bored with flirting, only then did Wang Xiao Mie remember his house guests.

He went back to them and asked, “By the way, why did you help us?”

Lei Jie thought for a second while playing with the teacup. “Because I’m not good with orders. I do what I want to on a whim. Simply put, I don’t use my brains much.”

Xiao Luo, with his arms folded, nodded wildly. As a result, Lei Jie gave him a slap on the head without even looking at him.

Xiao Luo, ‘You see, my Shibo has a third eye!’

“My intuition is very accurate. It saved my life many times. That’s why I did not hesitate to save you. Compared to Zhen Bei who I knew was off from the start, my chances are better with you two.”

Lei Jie smiled with a sense of maturity and feminine toughness. “It seems that my intuition has saved me once again.”

Wang Xiao Mie smiled with her. He was fond of her strength and independence. Someone who could always shrug her shoulders and move on.

“Let’s have an exchange,” Wang Xiao Mie said to Lei Jie.

And so, he went into the details about their deal. The main idea was that they wanted to go to the surface but Wen Feng Jin and he had no identification. Furthermore, they had been removed from society for so long, they had no place to go.

What they did have was a mountain of treasures and gold. Therefore, he wanted Lei Jie to help him find a place to live and get them some form of identification so that they wouldn’t get deported accidentally. In return, Wen Feng Jin would let Lei Jie choose an item from their pile of treasures. And at the same time, she could also help them sell the gold in exchange for cash.

Advertisements

Lei Jie was considering Wang Xiao Mie’s deal while Wen Feng Jin was staring at the two humans with severely menacing eyes. To outsiders, he did not show any trace of gentleness or consideration as he did with Wang Xiao Mie.

‘If they refused Xiao Mie’s proposal, I’ll just make them stay here forever,’ Wen Feng Jin thought to himself.

“Oh right!” Wang Xiao Mie exclaimed out of the blue, jolting the others out of their thoughts.

They watched as he pulled up his pants and took big strides to a corner of the room and picked something up.

Perhaps due to its length, Wang Xiao Mie had to drag it back while struggling with his long attire. It was like a puppy dragging its oversized toy and could topple at any moment.

The item clanked against the ground several times all the way till he reached them.

Seeing Wang Xiao Mie’s bright face and sweet smile, Wen Feng Jin could not hold back his affection and reached out to touch his cheek.

He’s too cute!

Wang Xiao Mie tilted his head in confusion. This only encouraged Wen Feng Jin to do more. He raised both his hands and pinched his cheeks.

Sorry, but I can’t stop. Maybe a little more…

In between their weird interaction, Lei Jie suddenly screamed like a fangirl at the thing that Wang Xiao Mie brought over. She looked at the item as though her eyes could shoot lasers!

Wang Xiao Mie who was having his cheeks pulled out of shape said, “About that, I saw that you like Kai Ming a lot, but I can’t give Kai Ming to you. This sword was scratched after the fight with Zhen Bei. I’ll give it to you.. Hehe, feel free to take it.”

“Xiao Wenzi, shop pulling my mouth. My.. faliva fi flowing out. Iss.. dripping out! Suck suck! It’s dripping out!!!”

Wang Xiao Mie sipped back his saliva and pushed Wen Feng Jin’s hands away. His moist lips were pouting and his cheeks were glowing with a pinkish blush.

Wen Feng Jin: …..

That seductive look was not helping at all. Wen Feng Jin was getting more clingy towards Wang Xiao Mie. All he wanted was to hide his precious and cuddle with him.

Wen Feng Jin covered Wang Xiao Mie’s mouth and gazed deep into his eyes

This time, there was nothing between them– no secrets, no lies, and no life-threatening nemesis.