I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin - CH 8

Wang Xiao Mie diary: today I’m underground picking up garbage, huuuu….

I seem to have forgotten a lot of things. Like a piece of white cloth was placed over my father, mother, and my former life. Yet even when I’m clearly in the dark, there was a satisfaction of being ignorant.

Wang Xiao Mie looked indifferently at his strange self in the huge bronze mirror. A good-looking face with a pair of gentle eyes, even when showing no emotion, the appearance was still easy on the eyes.

Wang Xiao Mie frowned. He died, became a zombie, had a thousand years old lover, and was now living in an underground palace. He just felt that he had accepted all these too quickly.

Even when he saw something out of this world, he was no longer scared or suspicious, as if he had lost this emotion…

But this is too just unscientific!

“Am I under a spell?” Wang Xiao Mie stood in the vast open hall, looking at the mirror and laughing to himself. The surrounding candles flickered and the atmosphere gave off a sense of terror. In the past, he would’ve peed but now, he only felt a familiarity as if he had lived here for hundreds of years.

Wang Xiao Mie muttered to himself: “This isn’t right…” what’s wrong with me?

“Shixiong, what are you doing?” a pair of hands grabbed his shoulders as a gentle smiling face came close to his ears. The image reflected from the yellow mirror sets off a chill.

Wang Xiao Mie could feel that the claws on him had exerted a lot of force. The slender fingers were like hooks clinging onto him. If he wasn’t a corpse right now, he would have screamed in pain.

Were it someone else in this situation, being grabbed forcefully all a sudden like this, they would have slapped the hand away and some might even react with “what the f*ck? Are you sick?”

But Wang Xiao Mie just could not get angry with the face in the mirror, not even a tiny bit annoyed. He obediently let the person behind embrace him.

“Shixiong, be a good boy. When I wake up and don’t see you, I’ll get worried. In the future, you cannot be too far from me, got it?” Wen Feng Jin’s tone was overly indulgent as he helplessly heaved a sigh. His cold palm combed through Wang Xiao Mie’s hair.

He looked just like a perfect lover.

Wang Xiao Mie’s fingers twitched. Seeing Wen Feng Jin looking at him in such a way, he was a little agitated. In his head, he thought: What’s it to you? These few days I’ve been stuck to you almost like a belt!

But his mouth sweetly said: “Ok, there won’t be a next time.”

Wang Xiao Mie: “…”

When did I become such a hypocrite?!

“Why did you come here today?”

“No reason. Just walking around.”

Advertisements

At first when he saw the mountains of gold bars and pearls in one of the side halls, he could still jump up and rejoice, thinking he was finally a wealthy man. But now he only played with them with a dead expression.

This underground tomb was too dormant and quiet like it would swallow away any sound.

It’s depressing to death.

“If only there’s internet and a smartphone that I can play games with… I haven’t played for so long.” Wang Xiao Mie let a long wolf howl that echoed along the halls.

Wen Feng Jin said: “Are you referring to the props that the humans of today use? If it’s those little things, there are plenty in another side hall. They were left by some grave robbers who died in the traps of the tomb. The little ones that I raised here carried them to the side hall.”

“Come, I’ll take you there.”

Wang Xiao Mie followed Wen Feng Jin past several towers and stone passageways where he would sometimes open with a hidden switch.

Perhaps feeling that it was too quiet, Wang Xiao Mie asked softly: “What about the bodies?”

Wen Feng Jin glanced back and winked. He then smiled and said: “I ate them.”

Wang Xiao Mie: “…d…does it taste good?”

Wen Feng Jin: “Heh, that was a lie.”

“…” why do I feel like it’s true.

When they reached one of the outer halls, Wang Xiao Mie’s mouth was agape. He was shocked speechless looking at the equipment bags waiting to be looted on the ground. There were modern-looking ones, old and even antique ones.

Some might be from the nineties while the older ones were in tatters and seemed like they would turn into ash with a touch.

Wang Xiao Mie also found many ancient weapons such as a katana. He wondered if these were used by the modern graverobbers to cut dumplings or they were the weapon of choice for the ancient graverobbers.

Wang Xiao Mie picked one up and wiped the dust off. He unsheathed it and his eyes sparkled. After so many years, the blade was still shining like snow!

Other than this, he quickly shifted his interest to the newest looking backpacks. Like a hamster after stealing food, he screamed with excitement as he laid out the items on the ground.

“Wow! Flare sticks, flashlights, lighters, diaries! And there are even canned foods and biscuits! And they are still edible! Yay!” Wang Xiao Mie also found several smartphones that were off. He eagerly turned them on only to find out that they were password protected.

There was one that he could use but after fumbling with it for a while, the battery died…

Wang Xiao Mie looked at the sacrificial phone and shed tears of grief.

That said, digging and looting for treasures was quite addictive. He finally understood why so many gamers would risk so much just to loot items.

He opened one bag after another and gathered the food that was still edible, especially biscuits and jerky were all the more tantalizing. The other personal items such as watches, photos, and so on, he placed them back neatly in the bag.

As he was doing this, he mumbled to himself: “Why does the owner of this bag carry so many beef jerky. Isn’t it heavy? This one is almost expired! Have to eat soon! Oh, I should get more pens and notebooks. I’m going to write about my experience and post it online. Hehehe I might become the next Robinson Crusoe!”

The next item that Wang Xiao Mie touched was a soft and red item. He pulled it out and blushed instantly.

“What the hell is a grave robber doing with a lady’s bra?! Were you trying to ward off evil spirits with this?!”

He quickly put back the undergarment. In the next bag, he found several donkey’s hooves, alcohol blocks, and an alcohol pot.

“Not bad, not bad at all. I can stew the donkey’s hooves! Ah! Wait! I’m a zombie now! Is it safe to eat these?” Wang Xiao Mie looked up at Wen Feng Jin, waving the donkey hoof, he asked: “Feng Jin, can I eat this?” (TN: according to superstitions, a donkey’s hoof is effective against zombies)

Wen Feng Jin had been squatting in front of him all this time, happily gazing at him looting things. He touched his chin and said: “Those graverobbers always carry those. It’s actually useless, you can eat it.”

“Great! I’ll stew them today!”

“Oh? This guy even brought some hotpot seasonings. And it’s even homemade… but I don’t see any meat or seafood, were they planning to only drink the broth?” Wang Xiao Mie felt a pain in the chrysanthemum. Someone who dared to drink the hotpot stew directly, how tough is their chrysanthemum! (TN: the assumption here is that hotpot stew tend to have a lot of spices and most likely will induce a laxative-like effect)

Wang Xiao Mie, the garbage collector, was happily collecting ‘junk’, acting like a good Samaritan, even though he was looting for his own benefits. He then shed tears of pity for himself: “To think that a foodie like me who is a VIP on Meituan (TN: food delivery service) would be reduced to picking up food from the trash. Hu Huu…”

“Wow! Someone even brought a self heating hotpot! It smells great!”

Wen Feng Jin looked at the mouse storing rice on the ground and showed a faint smile.

He’s so cute

Bracket: I kind of want to mate.