I Became a Sick Nobleman - Chapter 138: Exhale

—Ruel, what’s the matter? Why do you suddenly seem sad?

Leo was puzzled by the deep sadness he suddenly sensed in Ruel.

“Leo,” Ruel called out Leo’s name with a heavy tone.

—Tell me.

“This story can wait for another time.”

—But this body has a question. After hearing Jan’s words, this body wants to know more.

“You can come over another time and listen.”

Ruel glanced at Jan and shook his head.

Reluctantly, Jan nodded, sensing Ruel’s sincere emotions.

 

“I might have rushed things. Leo, let’s discuss it later.”

 

—Can this body come back again?

“Of course.”

—Hehe. This body likes it here.

Leo continued to talk about why he enjoyed being in this place and leaned his head against Ruel.

—Ruel, this body will listen to what you have to say later, but for now, can this body play with the spirits?

Leo seemed tired from the intense conversation they had.

“Sure, go and play.”

When Ruel lightly tapped Leo’s back, he quickly dashed off.

—I’ll play and come back!

“…Ha.”

Ruel let out a deep sigh, feeling a mixture of relief and uneasiness. He cautioned Jan, “You mustn’t reveal anything.”

“It’s a truth that even the beasts will come to know one day,” Cassian remarked indirectly.

“I disagree,” Aris shook his head, voicing a differing opinion.

Opinions were divided, and Ruel’s expression grew darker.

While he recognized that Leo needed to learn the story, he believed it wasn’t the right time.

“I will speak when I decide. It’s better that way.”

“…I can’t sense the whereabouts of the Great Purifier, but there might still be a sliver of hope. I regret rushing into things and causing you distress.” Jan cautiously spoke, and Ruel saw a glimmer of hope.

He also hoped for the same.

He wished that Leo wouldn’t have to experience the same pain as him.

“Cough, cough.”

Ruel’s coughing caught Jan’s attention, who seemed puzzled by the sound.

“Are you okay? It doesn’t sound like a typical illness.”

“It’s a mark of the Great Man.”

“That…?” Jan’s eyes shook intensely.

“Don’t worry. It’s not your responsibility,” Ruel clarified, drawing a clear line for Jan.

It wasn’t Jan’s fault that Ruel was marked by the Great Man.

Ruel then shifted the focus to the task at hand.

“I can also perform purification. Perhaps others can too. Above all, I know what leads to corruption.”

“But even if other humans, including you, can perform purification, it’s still different and dangerous compared to what the Great Purifier does,” Jan expressed concern, looking at Ruel.

However, no matter how Jan showed concern, it wouldn’t solve the issue.

If Leo was the only Great Purifier left, then humans had to step in to restore balance.

Ruel pointed towards the spirits and asked, “Are all the spirits here?”

“No, spirits can be anywhere. There are still children I haven’t found. Thanks to you, I can open many doors and rescue those children.”

“Very well,” Ruel smiled satisfactorily at Jan’s positive response.

If the spirits were scattered everywhere, having a good source of information would be wonderful.

“I need you to be my ears.”

“Ears?”

“For the warlock.”

Ruel paused for a moment and summoned his shadow.

“A very pure darkness.” At Jan’s prompting, the shadow approached him adorably, seeming to cuddle up to him on its own.

Ruel heard the joyous sound emanating from the shadow towards the Spirit’s Progenitor.

‘I thought it only enjoyed consuming things.’ 

As Ruel retrieved his shadow, Jan looked disappointed.

“Are you asking me to find a warlock and a human who can wield darkness like you?”

“Yes, you must find them. That’s why I specifically asked you.”

Jan appeared to be on the verge of saying something worrisome.

“So please, do not draw a line between humans anymore.”

Ruel spoke before Jan could utter a word.

While Jan’s words included ‘us,’ referring to Ruel, there was no mention of humans.

Jan didn’t hold resentment towards the Guardians’ killing, but he drew a clear line. Jan smiled quietly for a while, touching his clasped hands.

Eventually, with a lighter expression, he finally spoke, albeit belatedly.

“Yes, I understand what you’re trying to say. To be honest, I don’t have much fondness for humans. I know it’s not their fault, but they always seem to be at the center of everything that happens.” Jan’s smile turned slightly contorted.

“I find that very disappointing.”

“I won’t force you to change your mind, but if you genuinely care, please consider my request.”

“Child.”

“Yes.”

“Tell me one thing.” Ruel waited for Jan to continue.

“Do you think things would be different now if I hadn’t protected the spirits and fought against them?”

“I don’t know. But there are many things that would be different if you had taken action, even now.”

Jan suddenly burst into laughter, a sympathetic tone underlying his amusement.

“Thank you. Despite causing you much disappointment, I will make my move now.”

“I’ll hand over my communicator.” Ruel gestured to Cassion and then to Jan.

Jan took the communication device, examined it briefly, and then returned it to Ruel.

“With my power inside you, I can reach you without using the communicator.”

“But keep it with you, just in case,” Ruel insisted.

Given his own unstable condition, there would undoubtedly be a need for communication.

Jan reluctantly placed the communicator back in his hand.

Ruel surveyed the surroundings and spoke, “Do we have to pass through the Beast Forest again to return here?”

“No, I’ll leave the door open for you whenever you want.”

“Very well, then we’ll conclude our conversation here. I believe I’ve kept Mayre waiting for too long.”

“Sure, go and see her.” Despite his response, Jan’s disappointment was evident.

“Aris.”

Ruel called out to Aris, his gaze fixed on the notebook in Aris’s hand.

“Yes?”

“This is a great opportunity, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

“Uh, are you sure I’m not bothering Jan-nim…”

“It’s fine. Feel free to ask anything.”

Aris bowed his head in response to Jan’s smile.

Ruel rose from his seat.

Since arriving there, he had sensed it, but even as he stepped on the ground, it felt as though he wasn’t trampling on the flowers.

Ruel approached Mayre and suddenly glanced at the ground.

“…!”

The flowers moved to avoid his feet.

Ruel stood frozen in place.

“Oh, don’t you know? You seem observant in other aspects, but surprisingly oblivious here,” Cassion chuckled.

He gazed into the distance, taking in the field covered with crystal trees and numerous flowers. “I don’t know how it appears to you, Ruel-nim, but this place is beautiful to me as well.”

While Ruel continued to marvel at the flowers, reaching out to touch them repeatedly, he replied, “It looks beautiful to me too. It’s just that there is more to see from where you’re looking.”

In reality, the field that Cassion saw was teeming with adorable creatures moving and living within it.

“Well, how about taking a breather?” Cassion suggested. Ruel looked at him in response.

To Cassion, Ruel seemed precarious, as if he would be submerged at any moment in the sea where his feet had not touched.

Even though both of them were grappling with confusion and difficulties, Ruel seemed to be in an especially challenging situation.

There were too many entanglements, and the frustration of not being able to find answers, even to the question of who the Great Man was, added to the complexity.

“Cassion,” Ruel turned his head back towards the field and called out to him.

“Yes?”

“My situation hasn’t changed. It’s just become more complicated.”

“I understand. But this time, it feels deeper and heavier.”

Ruel inhaled Breath and slightly raised the corners of his mouth, looking exhausted.

“To be honest, it sucks,” he chuckled as he spoke. “I feel like I have too much to lose if I let go. There isn’t even a Setiria to direct my anger towards.”

That feeling of being caught between moving forward and holding on, unable to let go of everything.

“Yeah, it’s really not okay. I feel suffocated, just like you said.” Ruel glanced at Leo, who was happily playing with the spirits.

“Cassion.”

“I’m listening.”

“But despite it all, I’ll survive. Just like I am now.” Ruel’s smile remained calm as he resumed moving forward.

***

“Mayre.”

Ruel turned his gaze to Mayre, who was lying leisurely in the field.

“You sure have a lot following you,” Mayre chuckled, observing the spirits trailing behind Ruel.

“It just happened,” Ruel shrugged.

Since the spirit’ progenitor took the spirit stone from his body, the scent was lighter than before.

He left the pursuing spirits alone, assuming it was merely a momentary curiosity about him.

“Why don’t you lay down too?” Mayre gestured to the spot next to her.

Tak. Tak.

Ruel didn’t refuse and ended up lying down instead of sitting.

He noticed a faint net covering the sky, presumably the barrier mentioned by the Spirit’ Progenitor.

“You should sit as well,” Mayre said, looking at Cassion with a disapproving gaze.

“Whether I sit or not, don’t worry about it,” Cassion replied curtly, standing beside Ruel like a tree.

“Setiria, I mean… Ruel. Is he human? He blocked my attack,” Mayre asked.

“Mon… No, he’s human. And what about you?” Ruel almost instinctively blurted out that he was a monster.

Mayre chuckled at his mistake, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“You know, as a guardian. Guardians have their own tasks. I’m searching for those who corrupt monsters.”

“In addition to that, what does it mean to be a guardian?” Ruel asked, calmly inhaling Breath despite the spirit playing with his hair.

“Well, a forgotten hero. That’s all I can tell you for now,” Mayre replied.

“A forgotten hero?” Ruel questioned, and Mayre simply laughed.

She reached out her hands to the sky and casually asked, “You don’t remember your childhood memories, right?”

“Did you hear that?”

“I heard it.”

“Yeah, as you said, I don’t have any.”

“That’s why the Spirit’ Progenitor spoke so much. He’s actually quieter than he seems. Well, you seem to be an exception.”

“What are you trying to say? You mentioned having a question for me,” Ruel asked.

“How was Rupina’s end…?” Mayre asked cautiously, burying her face in her knees.

Her hair fell down over her shoulders as she did so.

“She left in a peaceful manner.”

“Thank you.” A melancholic voice resonated, her face hidden by her hair.

“She was my friend.”

Ruel remained silent, understanding that sometimes silence is more comforting than empty words.

“You should ask. I’m sure you have many questions. This is your chance to learn about the Guardians.” Mayre’s voice brightened again, as if she hadn’t been so somber. However, her hair still covered her face.

“Do you know of a Guardian who pursued the power left behind by the Great Man?” Ruel mentioned the unnamed woman.

“I do. We were colleagues. Her name was Hian, Hian. Have you met her?”

“…”

“She’s gone too. It’s alright. We were prepared for it.” Mayre’s voice trembled slightly.

Ruel pretended not to hear and asked the question that had always intrigued him.

“The Guardians aren’t human, right? The Great Purifier I carry with me often mentions that the Guardians are closely connected to nature.”

“That’s right. They’re not human anymore.”

“Why do the Guardians exist?”

“There isn’t a grand reason behind their existence. We couldn’t bear to see Setiria carrying the burden alone. Since Setiria took on the heaviest and most difficult role, the rest of us felt it was our duty to take on other responsibilities.”

“Do you know where the other Guardians are?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps even the other Guardians themselves are unaware. It’s better that way. If we were captured by the group led by the Great Man, we could die without revealing any crucial information.”

Ruel sat up.

Although he didn’t know what the spirit had done, the sensation of his hair felt strange.

“You’re here to treat your injuries, right?”

“Yes. I don’t have much time left… Even if I disappear when the time comes, I have to do everything I can before that.”

“See you next time.”

“How reckless. Saying that kind of thing only leaves unnecessary regrets.” Mayre finally raised her head and looked at Ruel. Tears stained her face.

Ruel stood up without saying a word and handed the thick gloves to Cassion.

He knew that due to the constraints, he couldn’t obtain information freely, and it was regrettable.

‘Forgotten heroes.’ 

Heroes are usually forgotten with time.

But they had come like somewhat special heroes.

‘If the Guardians are all colleagues, the first Setiria must have been a hero too.’ 

Ruel inhaled Breath and walked away silently.

‘They know who the Great Man is. Why can’t they even mention it because of some constraint?’ 

The question still remained, but through the conversation, Ruel was able to establish a hypothesis.

The Guardians, including Setiria, were heroes who protected this world from the Great Man.

But for some reason, they couldn’t eliminate the Great Man.

“It’s because there are things in the royal treasure vault that must not be taken away by the Great Man.”

Ruel recalled Brans’ words.

As a compromise, they had placed something related to the Great Man in the Leponia Palace treasure vault and created a barrier mediated by First Setiria to prevent the Great Man from coming to Leponia.

‘It seems quite plausible.’ Ruel thought as he stood in front of the fragment of power left by the king.

“Cassion, can you see this?”

“No, I can’t see it.”

The king was also a spirit, it seemed.

‘Spirits have a broader range than I thought.’

Ruel cautiously reached out his hand while inhaling Breath.

He didn’t feel any sense of being alive, but he just wanted to touch it.

It felt like touching cold ice.

But his hand didn’t feel numb.

‘As expected, there’s no response.’ 

Ruel sighed with disappointment and remained sitting there.

“The king is here. Well, to be precise, it’s a fragment of the power left by the king. It’s so beautiful with its shining scales.”

“You seem to need a drink.” Cassion’s words made Ruel smirk.

Indeed, he felt like it, but his body was too sensitive, and he couldn’t drink.

“I’m not supposed to drink. You said it’s forbidden.”

Clink. 

Cassion took out a bottle from his magic pocket and shook it.

The sound was clearly that of alcohol.

As Ruel swallowed dryly, Cassion raised a corner of his mouth. “Unfortunately, it’s not alcohol. Well, the taste might be similar.”

“Are you teasing me now?”

“Regardless of what it is, wouldn’t it be enough if we could enjoy spring in winter?”

“Just be yourself as usual.”

Unexpectedly, Cassion said something surprising, contrary to his usual behavior or personality.

Ruel untied the hair that the spirit had touched and ruffled his hair in frustration.

“I am a butler.”

Surprised by Cassion’s sudden words, Ruel gave him a disapproving look.

“Why are you saying that? Did you finally get the sword you needed?”

“As I spend most of my days as a butler, I now feel like being a butler is my calling.”

“…Huh.”

Ruel was finally impressed by Cassion’s recognition of himself as a butler.

How long had it been since he made the mana oath with Cassion?

Cassion bowed his head and said, “In that case, I will ask the spirit’ progenitor to make a table.”

“…Fine.”

Ruel glanced at his knees and the spirits around him, who were looking at him with worried expressions, then simply laid down in that spot.

Kuroo kuru.

Among them, that spirit was also visible.

The spirit’ eyes were welling up as if it would burst into tears at any moment.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to comfort me. It’s my fault for being a Setiria.”

As he thought about it again, anger suddenly surged up within him.

“Damn it.”

He saw slowly drifting clouds.

He thought he had somewhat escaped from the clutches of the Red Ash, but it was a mistake.

A larger net was waiting for him.

’Ruel Setiria.’ 

His mind was complicated due to the various things Setiria had, causing anger yet feeling burdened, unable to let go of the situation as Cassion had said.

He didn’t even know if he should follow Cassion’s advice and take a breath.

“Ha…”

Ruel deeply, deeply exhaled while looking at the colorful petals fluttering in the wind.

‘Hian…’ 

“It’s okay.”

He faintly smiled, recalling the words she had said while smiling. He finally knew her name.

Author’s Thoughts

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