I Don’t Even Know Who The Child’s Father Is - Chapter 4

There was deathly silence in the air around me.

It was so quiet, too quiet even, that I started to wonder, when was the last time I felt this kind of peace, was it too long ago?

‘Wow, I feel so alive.’ If there is such a thing as a hundred-day miracle, then this might be what they were talking about.

The reason for this peacefulness I felt was the fact that baby Rustina was finally sleeping!

To be honest, she hasn’t cried that much lately, so my life has gotten a lot more comfortable, but I’m still rather worried…

I glanced at Rustina, who was in deep slumber, and I couldn’t help but notice how pretty she is when she sleeps.

I walked to a nearby mirror and glanced at my own reflection; it seems I really looked like Rustina.

I knew that even though Etricia is usually very capricious she also had a rather good intuition, therefore I knew that since I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I wasn’t alone, I approached the window and asked hesitantly, “…Who is there?”

When my question was met with silence, I repeated myself once more, “Whoever is there, come out now.” [E/N: sites like; lightnovelreader.org are unauthorized to repost our translation. If you are not reading this from moonlightnovels.com, then please support our team and read it on our site only. Thank you.]

I waited for a response as my voice was carried by the wind, and though I spoke in a deadpan voice and Etricia’s tone remained in its usual monotonous fashion, my heart on the contrary, was beating loudly and threatening to burst out of my chest.

‘Bang!’ The small gap in the window widened with a loud sound, and the strong metallic smell of blood wafted in my room.

Suddenly, a man appeared from the window and stared at me. I instinctively leaned back but he captured the tip of my chin and held me in place, “There’s no way that you’ve been waiting for me all this time. Have you?”

My eyes widened in surprise at his familiar voice, “Long time no see, Etricia.”

I couldn’t believe it, I was face to face with Damon!

His blue eyes radiated a mysterious color beneath the moonlight.

Why was he here, and this late at night? Even Rustina is asleep now.

I kept quiet and tried to ignore the blood on his uniform. He seemed to have noticed the way my eyes drifted at the crimson stain for he shrugged his shoulders and spoke, “Ah yes… Don’t make a fuss about my appearance.”

I watched as he wiped with his thumb the smeared blood on his face, “I know my sudden appearance here can make the situation difficult for you.” He started.

Indeed, it was very difficult, especially because he came in such a noisy way…

“Uwaaahhh! Aaaaaaaah!” Ugh! You woke up Rustina, you idiot!

I sighed and looked at him intently, “She cries so much that some days, I want to kill her…” I complained, “What are you waiting for, come down from the window and comfort her right now?”

He gave me a confused look, “What? Why me?”

I reached out and grabbed him by the collar and pulled him off of the window sill. He stared at me, quite perplexed.

“Ahhhhhh! Uwaaah!” Rustina cried even more miserably.

I put my hand on my forehead, stretched out my other hand, and pointed him to the direction of the bathroom, “Wash your hands, take off those dirty clothes, and do what you must first do and after, come back immediately and soothe the child.”

Damon’s brow twitched after he heard my commands.

He stared intently at me for a moment, before he relented and then unbuttoned his shirt. After which he tossed it to the floor. Soon, the rest of his clothes piled up on the ground, one by one. All the while, he was staring at me intently.

Why is he looking at me with eyes wide open like that?

Feeling frustrated, I ran to Rustina and hugged her crying body.

As I started to cradle her in my arms I stared at Damon furiously, “What are you doing still? Are you normally this slow and just speed up during war?”

His breath hitched, as if breaking off from a daze, he walked to the bathroom, turned on the water, and washed his hands.

After finishing up, he came to me with his damp body and peered at Rustina in my arms, “…Is that my child?”

“Well, can you tell if she is? Do you think she’s your child?”

I pat Rustina’s back gently as I stared at Damon, and waited for a response.

“Well, we look alike, don’t you think?” He told me.

“Where are you looking at? She resembles me greatly, almost completely!”

Where did his confidence come from? How can he brazenly claim Rustina looked like him?

Rustina tilted her head at Damon who was standing next to me. I saw it as a sign that her potential father could bond with her now, so I handed her to him.

Damon seemed taken aback at first, but he carried her awkwardly. As the two continued to stare at each other, Rustina broke out in another wave of loud tears.

Damon looked at me helplessly, “It looks like she’s going to break, so please take her back quickly.”

I snorted at Damon and folded my arms, “Why? You said she looked like your daughter, so hug her a little. Perhaps you don’t know now but if you spend more time with her, I’m sure you’ll get a hang of it.”

At that moment, Rustina’s eyes, which had stopped her crying, widened, and then her breathing seemed more labored, “Uwaaahh!”

“Hey, this child is acting strangely, this doesn’t seem like normal tears. Please do something quickly!”

With my anxious eyes, Rustina began to cry more incessantly.

Damon was showing restlessness and he narrowed his eyes at me, “How am I supposed to deal with this?”

Reluctantly, I grabbed Rustina and began to comfort her. When the child calmed down a little I asked, “So why did you come here?”

“I wanted to see and ask if the child is mine.” He confessed.

“Do you think she is?” I didn’t know, so perhaps the real Etricia also didn’t know.

Instead of responding to me, Damon’s eyes stared at Rustina in my arms. The young princess had fallen asleep.

He began to approach us. However, as soon as he did, Rustina stirred in my arms, it was as if she sensed him coming at us and began to thrash violently, “Uh-uh, boo-boo!”

Rustina shook her head around and loudly cried. Reluctantly, I shooed Damon away, “Stand back, it seems as though she hates you.” I explained.

“What? That can’t be.” Damon blinked in frustration but didn’t approach us.

Soon after, he picked up his clothes that were scattered on the floor. As he was doing this, his hands dove deeper into the pile. However, he seemed to have found something, when he glanced back at me, “Regarding your question of whether or not she is my child, I hope this answers the question.” Damon took one of my hands and slipped a map inside it.

Before I could ask any further questions, he reached out and gently placed a kiss on my cheek. With a smile he told me, “See you again.”

As he prepared to leave, I called out to his retreating back and said, “The next time you come, you better not come if you’re going to reek of blood.”

He went to the open window and then raised the corner of his mouth and answered, “Understood.”

Just when I thought he was done talking, he spoke in an even gentler tone, “You’re still pretty, my Etricia.”

“What…” But before I could finish my words, Damon had disappeared against the night.

As if there never was, Rustina’s tears had stopped as well. [E/N: sites like; lightnovelreader.org are unauthorized to repost our translation. If you are not reading this from moonlightnovels.com, then please support our team and read it on our site only. Thank you.]

* * *

“Princess, your face looks troubled today.” Belle told me as soon as she came that morning.

I wanted to whine; of course I looked bad, I couldn’t sleep after all!

After Damon came and went, Rustina was unable to sleep and woke up frequently throughout the rest of night.

Because she was crying so miserable, I wondered what caused her so much distress, she had looked like she was choking in her heart.

As I was thinking this, when Belle spoke once more, “Today, Lady Rustina is sleeping beautifully.”

I stared at her in disbelief, Belle you know nothing! You don’t know what you are talking about!

I looked at Belle with a resentful face, and I noticed eyes were full of fondness as she stared at Rustina who was sleeping soundly.

I guess she finds Rustina pretty, admittedly she is, especially when she sleeps…

Suddenly she turned to me and said, “Princess, Your Majesty is looking for you. What should I do?”

“Why do you ask? Tell his majesty that I don’t want to go. He’ll just have to go around and think about Rustina by himself.”

I still find it hard adjusting to this world, but the thought of meeting and talking to Etricia’s father gave me a bigger headache. I think it would be better to talk to him once my situation gets resolved a little. As of the moment, I still feel disgruntled and my mind is still a mess.

As if she could read what I was thinking, Belle handed me a bowl of hearty meat stew, “For now your highness, please have some of this.” As she pushed the meal for me to take, she added, “You should eat something delicious.”

Summoning my will, I adjusted my posture and straightened my back.

I took a bite of the meat and felt its flesh melting into my mouth. During my time spent here I gathered that Belle was able to hone her cooking skills while serving in the Imperial Palace. She was truly a good cook.

“I think you slept pretty deeply today, your highness.”

“Ah, that certainly did not happen.” I didn’t sleep well because neither did Rustina. I fell asleep only after sunrise.

As I settled into wakefulness with the help of Belle’s soup, I felt like I could catch my breath now.

“I will be watching Lady Rustina, so please rest.” She offered.

“Thanks.” I really feel so lucky!

The simple fact that someone was willing to look after the child made me feel so grateful.

I got up from my seat and proceeded to stretch my limbs, “Ahhh!” I sighed, “… I suppose I will go around the garden then.”

“Of course, your highness.”

Knowing Princess Etricia’s father, he wouldn’t remain seated in his study even after I refused to see him. He is bound to stand up and seek me out himself. He would go on and demand for answers, because he doesn’t believe that I am as clueless as he is. Therefore, it is best that I avoid him and retreat to the gardens.

Judging by the texture of the weather, I reckoned it might get chilly, so I donned a cloak before stepping out.

As soon as the warmth of the sunlight greeted me, I felt rather drowsy, while the sounds of rustling leaves calmed my mind.

It is ironic that I am grateful for this little time of solitude, but I supposed this wasn’t too bad, “Ahh, this feels good.”

As I was leisurely walking deeper into the gardens with my shoulders arched up, I couldn’t help but notice that aside from the blooming flowers that surrounded me, there was a shadow that seemed to stand from a distance.

Although the figure was partially obscured by the greenery, it still emitted a charismatic aura. I saw a golden flicker intensified by the rays of the sun as it collided against the person’s blonde shiny hair that haphazardly blew against the wind.

I walked towards the man with the angelic face, in a daze, as if I was possessed.

This is the Imperial Garden; it wasn’t a place people could easily enter.

If so, there was a high probability that he was someone who was intimate to the imperial family.

“Who are you?” It felt like dé·jà vu; like I was repeating the same things.

Upon hearing my voice, the back of the man visibly stiffened, as if he was startled by my sudden presence. His bowed head that had been smelling a flower slowly raised up. As he turned to look at me, my heart beat loudly.

Tears fell from the pretty eyes of the man who found me, all the while I kept thinking, he seemed ethereal, like he was out of place. He resembled a fairy and I was enchanted.

“…Are you crying?” No, what did I do?

Did I say something that was enough to bring tears to his eyes by simply looking at me?

After waking up from this body, I thought I had a pretty quiet life. But perhaps that isn’t so. I looked at the man blankly in embarrassment and quickly stepped back.

“Wow, Princess…” His voice was as clear and pure as the dew on the leaves at the break of dawn.

He appeared like an angel that had descended while his blonde hair harmonized well with his alabaster skin. I stared at the threads of gold on his head that were still continuously being blown away by the wind.

Even those purple eyes of his seemed to draw me in.  I found myself slowly approaching the man with a somewhat stunned look on his face, “No, I mean, did I do something wrong to you?” I asked.

“It is not that, your highness. Truth is, I am the sinner.” He started to kneel down before me and kissed the back of my hand.

When he did this, I felt as though I was woken up, and I caught sight of a familiar man that was staring up at me with darkened eyes. It was only then that I noticed the pure white uniform he was wearing as well as the medal on his chest.

He started to talk once more, “I prayed you would seek me out, but my heart was so impatient that I waited here every day with the expectation that the Princess would eventually find me.”

He didn’t say his name, but I could tell who he was.

The fact that this man is holding me as if pleading in a sly voice, made me certain, he could be none other than; Hassel Drow, the commander of the Imperial Knights.

“Princess, that child… Is that my child?”

His desperate voice tugged at my heart uncomfortably.

Oh, this is really difficult.

With his pretty face being marred with tears as he continued to kneel before me, I began to realize why no woman would not fall for him.

I tried to compose myself and suppressed my emotions from leaking out, clenched my jaws and hardened my expression.

This was no time to fall for his charms.

* * *