I Just Can’t Say Goodbye - Chapter 42：A Thing of the Past

After doing a thorough cleaning, she prepared ahead all the stuff needed for breakfast. She, then, went into Jim’s room to check if she had not missed out anything. For all the great things he had done for her, the only way she could give back was to care for him and all his needs.

Although ate Nita was so efficient with the household chores and in taking care of Jian, she did not delegate her own responsibilities for him. She may had allow her to help in preparing the ingredients and other stuff but she was the one who did the cooking.

Jim would not decide on what to wear everyday and on special occasions because she did it for him. He would not buy anything from the hospital canteen because she would not want him to. His food was always delivered and served hot. Everything he needed from toiletries to his perfume was left to her choice.

Jim had become totally dependent on her except for business matters. And he was, likewise, very thoughtful of her unspoken needs.

On special occasions, he would buy her expensive gifts. He would took her out alone during his days off or spent time with his son.

She was finally done with all of her chores and her night bath at already past eleven but she was not sleepy yet. With a dim light and a soft instrumental music in the background by Richard Clyderman’s piano collection, her thoughts wandered again to her past.

At the end of first semester in her first year in college, she was already on her 36th weeks of pregnancy. Since most of her minor subjects from previous enrollments were credited, she only had few hours in a day in school. Few days from then, she would already be giving birth.

Jim accompanied her in all her doctor trips and was more nervous and excited than her. All the needs of the baby were long prepared including the two wooden cribs, one for the baby’s bedroom and one for her room.

One morning, he went out from his room with glint of sadness in his eyes. He was unsually silent even during their breakfast.

“Jia, would it be very uncomfortable for you if you would go out with me later? ”

“Of course, not! It is you who is being overprotective of me.”

“Okay, I’ll take you out later. I want some fresh air.”

Jia was really bothered by his mood but she was too afraid to ask.

“What do I need to prepare? Where are we going? ”

“Just an extra sets of clothes for both of us, sleeping clothes, slippers and, of course, your milk and vitamins.”

Later on, at about four in the afternoon, Jim brought her to a beach resort. He picked up a cottage closest to the beach. After placing all their things inside the room, he took her out for a walk in the sand.

The sun was still casting its dazzling brightness above the horizon. The sand was still warm to the touch and the breeze was a bit humid. The whole place totally captured the full meaning of magnificence. It was exhilirating! And the landscape was somewhat a partial reflection of a paradise.

“May I hold your hand while we walk? I am afraid their might be holes in the sand..”

She did not refuse. He already grabbed her hand anyway without waiting for her reply. Her heartbeats went wild for a moment but sensing his sadness, she easily ignored it.

“Jia, I am really glad that you are here.. I would have been so lonely and alone.”

Jia looked up to him and watched every change of expression in his eyes. She then tightened her grip to his hand to show him that she cared.

“I have spent many birthdays alone without any member of my family remembering. Only Nanay did but she’s gone already.” He was referring to his nanny that took care of him since he was born until she died few years ago.

Jia suddenly felt guilty. His birthday had never crossed into her mind.

“I’m sorry, Jim. ” She lowered her head down, too scared to meet his eyes.

“All they think about is money, money, money…when not everything can be bought by money! ”

“But it’s okay, I’m used to it.”

“You’re not.”

“I just missed the only family I had before. ”

Jia listened intently to his ventilation. She never thought that a handsome and rich man like him could be so vulnerable.

When the twilight set in, they slowly went back to the hotel. The orange and crimson hues filled the horizon with a magic spell, lifting up the sorrows of Jim while pushing her down with a heavy heart. She pitied him.

As soon as they were back in the room, Jim drifted into a deep sleep in one of the beds.

Jia then had the chance to order something for dinner in the garden. Somehow, she was able to book a prompt romantic birthday set up and a serenade despite of a few hour notice. She then met the band for few minutes before going back to the hotel to change. The dinner would be set by 9 pm.

Jim was still asleep when she got back so she also took a nap after taking a shower to freshen up. Pregnant women always feel hot even in a cold environment.

When the alarm sounded, he woke Jim up for the dinner. Realizing that it was already late at night and that a late dinner was not good for a pregnant woman, he hurriedly stood up and apologized. After some quick freshening up, Jim was finally ready for the dinner.

The garden tables were already full when they arrived and the band had already started their serenading. The crowd was mostly composed of couples pecking at each other under the dim lights. The place was filled with flowers and the tables with bouquets and candles.

Jia felt awkward upon witnessing the romantic atmosphere that she stiffened up. Jim noticed it that he squeezed her hand and told her to relax. Little did he know that her discomfort increased with his touch.

“Jim, had you dated in a place like this before? “She was suddenly curious.

” This is my first time.. with you.” He smiled. “How about you? ” He threw her back the same question, as he suddenly became curious about her past.

“I’m never into a relationship though I had that infatuation with Anthon. So, I’m never into any date.” She giggled.

“Then how did you get pregnant?” He asked as his smile disappeared.

“I did not know how I had fallen into the emotion…It was our group outing. I separated from them when I got bored and set up a tent at the outskirt of the resort. Soon, I felt asleep and when I woke up, Anthon was already beside me.”

Jim did not say a word as he allowed her to speak out. She also had to ventilate it out so that she could move forward.

She went on. “He was emotional at that time. He was crying. When he asked to hug me, I lost my strength to resist. Perhaps, I was affected by his sadness, or perhaps , it was because I was thinking so much about him.”

“Then, it happened.” She paused for a long while.

“He told me he would marry me and we will do the papers right then. I knew he was not lying. But a day before that, I met my bestfriend. She was three months pregnant and was about to marry him.”

“Did you love him? “Jim took out a courage to ask her and wondered why his heart ached at her confession.

“I would not consent to the act if I did not. It was my feelings for him that caused my downfall.”

“Do you still think about him?”

“I must not. ”

“But you still do. ”

“Jim, he’s a thing of the past and must not be remembered anymore.

“Another topic, please.”