I Just Want Peace - Chapter 5 Ashen Pas

After being contained in the hospital for a what seem like years to Alex. He forcefully push the glass door to swing open to his sweet freedom that was overdue. Breathing in the fresh morning air of life, Alex sighed delightfully and stroll out with a skip in his step.

The corners of Alex’s mom lips curled up as she watch her son joyfully prance around like an energetic dog confined in a house finally been let out. When Alex had enough of playing around, he turns his head back to look at his mom.

“Can we stop by the library? I need to return some books,” Alex asked. Alex’s mom’s smile froze as she continues to stare at her book’s slave of a son. ‘I swear, he isn’t human but the very personification of bookworm,’ she thought to herself.

“I already return them, you should rest for a bit more. Reading right away might give you headache,” Alex’s mom replied, losing the curls of her lips.

“I rested for a full week already. I feel fine and the doctors haven’t found anything wrong with me. Hence why I was discharged today,” Alex rebuked, his shoulder sagging and casting a ‘pitiful child’ look to his mom.

Alex’s mom stares at her childlike son and couldn’t help but sigh. “Fine, but only 2 light books. 300 pages max and no small font.” In the end she give in, guilt pumping through her veins looking at her son’s sorrowful, misty eyes.

For Alex, if she wanted to give him a treat all she would have to drop him off to his favorite bookstore, Enchanted Forest [slogan: a forest of reading]. In the whole wide world, the only thing that can satisfy Alex is only a good book. Even if diamonds and beautiful woman and all the riches in the world were laid out in front of him, Alex wouldn’t bat an eye and go straight to the bookstore.

“Thanks Mom,” Alex grins. Alex’s mom slightly frown and pinches his cheeks as if she was punishing him.

Alex cheerfully stroll towards the small silvery gray car parked a fair bit from the hospital main entrance. His mom behind him, shaking her head.

Owning and using the car for around 5 years now. The once silvery grey car worn down into a asphalt gray car wearing a coat of scratches.

Alex slides into the passenger seat and buckle the seat belt as his mom starts the car. After driving on the road for a minute, Alex’s mom glance at Alex out of the corner of her eyes every other second. Nearly hitting the car in front plenty of times.

When Alex’s mom didn’t move when the light turned green. Honks begin to scream at her to move. A guy drove by and cursed her but Alex’s mom seems to be in a whole different world.

Alex furrowed his brows at the guy then twist his neck, looking fixedly at his mom. Taking in her blank face and her unfocus eyes staring at him. Now someone is threatening to call the police on them for blocking traffic. Alex ignores the threats and wave his hand in front of his mom’s face. Snapping his fingers to get the soulless body’s attention.

When Alex snaps his fingers a second time, the soul snap back in and Alex’s mom jolts awake. Her eyes widening to the size of saucer and her mouth drops as situation crashes into her brain. She jumps out of the car and starts apologize profusely to all who were present.

Everyone watches as Alex’s mom go to each person apologizing sincerely. Finally everyone, including Alex’s mom, enter their car and drove away. A few people complaining that Asian women can’t drive, a few shook their heads, offer advice and soon everyone left the scene, displeased.

Alex carefully placed his hand on his mom’s shoulder, as if she was a frighten rabbit ready to hop away at any kind of movement. Then Alex spoke in a soft loud whisper, “Mom, are you feeling okay?”

Alex’s mom inhale a small shaky breath, her hands in a death grip on the wheel turning her knuckles white. After seconds that stretched into hours into years, Alex’s mom showed movement.

“We’re here,” she said in a scary calm voice. Then as if something broke, her hands suddenly drops and her body sinks into the seat as if she was trying to sink inside the cushion seat. All the previous tension in her body disappear into thin air, as if she was possessed by a ghost and was finally released.

“Mom?” Alex question, distressed. He looked out to see they were parked in front of the public library’s doors. Alex, heavily tempted to rush out and embrace the hundreds of book, use all his willpower to not fidget.

“Sorry,” she whispers. Then Alex’s mom peers at her worried son, tentatively touching his cheeks. Tears forming in her eyes but she blinks them away. “It been a while since I drove and you here. . Looking at you. . .” She took another unsteady breath. “You and cars. . are you feeling okay?”

“I’m feeling fine,” Alex automatically replied.

” Yeah. . . Go chose a book or two. I. . I need to calm down for a bit,” she said and closed her eyes. Alex stared hard at his mom, looking for any signs of pain hidden on her face. “Go now before I changed my mind.”

Alex sat silently for a breath then exit the car. Grabbing the library card in the cup holder that his mom evidently left there. Obviously she knew that Alex would convince her to take a detour to the library.

Shutting the door closed, never taking his eyes off of his mom. Alex’s mom saw his action and wave her hand, as if shooing him away. Taking one small step, then another, Alex then reluctantly amble towards the library. Peeking over his shoulders every now and then.

Stressed out, Alex’s mom went to open the glove compartment but paused, her hand lingering in the air for a moment. Then grudgingly retracted her tremblingly hand, like an invisible force was seizing her hand and enticing her to smoke a cancer stick.

Alex’s mom slump back into her seat, massaging her face. Even she had open the glove compartment there wouldn’t be a single cigarette concealed under a napkin inside. The second that Alex found out about his mom smoking habits. He went on a purge to eradicate all the cigarette packs in the house.

During the purge, Alex was like a hunter in the woods. Combing through every nook and cranny in their small, humble home, discreetly as a mouse. Alex’s mom didn’t even have a chance to take a pack into hiding under Alex’s eagle eyes. He even found some cigarettes in places that his mom didn’t think was possible. Such as the pack of smokes hiding behind the TV mixed in the wires, inside a tissue box or the one cigarette stuck underneath the table.

The whole extermination took place 6 years ago a month before Alice could crawl around and potentially naw and suck on a cancer stick. Alex’s mom is eternally grateful for what Alex did before it could have any impact on Alice’s health.

Even if it wasn’t put in words and is a forbidden topic that small Alice knew not to talk about it. Alex knew why she started smoking. His dad had left them and Alex started noticing his mom strangeness. After the whole cigarette event, Alex’s mom was filled to the brim with happiness knowing her son is going to a befitting gentleman. Sometimes she felt like Alex acts older than his age making her feel secure at her son matureness yet uneasy at times.

“Mom, are you feeling okay?” Alex asked again, like a broken record. Alex’s mom dropped her hands and frowns at her persistent, irritating son. But smiled to herself as she wraps herself with her son’s gentle attentiveness.

“Yeah, stop worrying about me,” she replies. Alex’s mom glances at the 2 books in Alex’s arm, a third one peeking out. She playfully pinched her son’s cheeks at his sneakiness but said nothing. Alex let her pinch his cheeks, the tips of his ears slightly red with guilt. Alex then look out the window, acting like his mom wronged him and hugs the books to his chest.

‘This boy is mischievous in his own little way,’ Alex’s mom smiles to herself as she drove them home where Alice waits for them with a party popper.