I Kill Monsters For A Living - Chapter 11 Pop And Lemon

A group of 4 bodyguards then grabbed me by the arms and carried me towards backstage.

“Welcome backstage cutie! Pop isn’t here right now, she’ll be back soon.” Lemon then posed like an idol and began dancing. The bodyguards then slammed the door and walked off.

“Uhh… hi?” I said awkwardly.

“You know why you’re here right?”

“Hmm… nope.”

“Wait, what!?”

“Yeah, I thought this was a line for a burger place…”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Nope…”

Lemon then sighed and sat down on a couch, “Once every month we pick a random person from the line for dates. So let’s just go and get this over with…”

“Sorry, I’m not a lolicon…”

“Wait… why would going on a date with me make you a lolicon…”

“Uhh… cause you’re a loli…”

“I’m not a loli… and you should be glad I’m even talking to you right now, do you even know who I am? I’m A GOD! THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WOULD KILL TO SPEND A DAY WITH ME!”

“Yeah and I’m not one of those thousands of people… I have to buy some groceries so I’ll talk to you later I guess…”

“WHAT THE HELL COME BACK!” She yelled as I exited the backstage room.

Now… I wonder where the grocery store is…

The cultist walked up to me and greeted me, “Hey dude, how was the experience with Pop and Lemon?”

“Oh hey, you’re the cultist right?”

“Dude… I’m just an idol fan…”

“You seem like a cultist though…”

“Just because I seem like one doesn’t mean I am one… what if I thought you seemed like a piece of toast, that doesn’t mean you are a piece of toast.”

“You make a good point cultist.”

“POP GET IN HERE NOW!” Lemon yelled as she slammed open the backstage door.

Pop then came in from the sky crashing down onto the concrete floor cracking it into pieces.

“Holy crap how the hell did you manage to survive that fall!?”

Pop then creepy smiled as if we’re forced and began talking in a soft voice, “Do you want to know why they call me Pop?”

“Uhh… why do they call you Pop?”

“Because that’s the sound that you’ll be making…” She then bulked up her body becoming extremely muscular and large, estimated height would be 6,5 foot tall. “BECAUSE THAT’S THE SOUND YOUR SPINE WILL MAKE WHEN I SNAP IT IN HALF!”

“Ah, shit…”

Kim then walked by the corner holding a plastic bag full of groceries, “Oh, hey David, I just got the groceries!”

“KIM RUN RIGHT NOW!”

“What? Why-”

“POP SMASH!” Pop then jumped high in the air creating a crack in the ground,

“We should get out of here!” Kim yelled as she grabbed me and began to run.

IVISILI L

“Invisibility bubble!” Both Kim and I turned invisible including our clothes and the groceries.

“I CAN’T SEE MYSELF! WHAT THE HELL!?” I yelled.

“SHUT UP DAVID THEY CAN STILL HEAR US!”

Pop then landed, slamming both of her fists on the ground creating a small shockwave that knocked both of us off our feet. “POP WILL BREAK YOUR SPINES!” She then began to dance and pose as if she was in a music video.

“WHY IS SHE DANCING WHILE TRYING TO KILL US?” Kim yelled as she got back on her feet.

“I DIDN’T GO ON A DATE WITH LEMON!” I yelled as I stood up and began running again with Kim.

“THE LOLI CULTIST LEADER?”

“YEAH!”

“WTF?”

Lemon then stomped her foot on the ground four times, “I’M NOT A LOLI!” She yelled as four long barreled muskets with bayonets appeared, floating right in front of her. “Get ready for a performance everybody!” She then began dancing.

“GO LEMON! GO POP!” The line cheered.

Lemon then grabbed two of the bayonets and fired both shots with both of them being near misses.

“HAHA, YOU MISSED!” I yelled as I stopped to point at Lemon… wait a minute… she can’t even see me… How did she even manage to know where we were despite us being invisible?

“David if you’re wondering why she knows where we are… IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE YELLING OUT LOUD YOU IDIOT!” Kim yelled.

“THERE YOU ARE!” Lemon yelled as she threw both bayonets at us. The first musket’s bayonet then grazed the top of my skin, not cutting in deep enough to make my arm bleed. While the second musket she threw missed us completely.

“Holy crap that was close…” I say to myself.

“GODDAMIT STOP TALKING, YOU’RE GONNA GET US KILLED!” Kim then began to run faster while dragging me.

“YOU’RE YELLING TOO KIM!”

“CAUSE IM TRYING TO STOP YOU YELLING!” I yelled as our invisibility wore out. Kim then stopped and turned around to see Pop smiling at us.

“Ah, crap…” Kim whispered to herself.

“POP SMASH!” Pop then began charging towards us as if she was a rhino.

“David… FIGHT BACK GODDAMIT!” Kim yelled as she began shaking me back and forth.

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?”

“SPIN HER OR SOMETHING!”

“SPINE SNAP!” Pop yelled as she got ready to slam her fists in our faces.

“Sweet, I needed a name for this one!”

SPI SP

“SPINE SNAP!” I yelled as I turned around quickly and snapped my fingers right in front of Pop’s face. She then came to an immediate stop as the whole upper half of her body began to twist in an instant.

—

The top half of her torso then snapped off flying through the air and landing right in front of Lemon. “Po- Error 404 lower half not found.” Her insides then flopped out revealing tons of wires.

“First you reject my generosity, THEN YOU DESTROY MY ROBOT BEST FRIEND!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Lemon yelled as she picked up the top half of Pop.

“Your best friend is a robot?”

“SHUT IT LOSER!”

Kim then invisibility bubbled both of us and began dragging me again. “We already got what we came here for, just be quiet and run!”