I Kill Monsters For A Living - Chapter 15 Space Mafia

“SPACE boss, someone SPACE robbed the SPACE chicken down in SPACE street…” Said a tall man with glasses, he wore a checkboard suit with a red tie.

“Steven… you gonna say space again?” Said the old man sitting in the business chair.

“In SPACE!”

“Steven… it’s not funny anymore, just knock it off…”

“I think it’s funny…”

“It’s because you’re Steven…”

“That’s right! I’m Steven!”

“…” The old man then sighed and stood up from his chair and turned on a flatscreen tv. He played video footage of Ada robbing the Space Chicken. “Talking about Space Chicken… someone just robbed one of our establishments…”

“Don’tcha mean spaa-”

“Steven, if I hear the word SPACE come out of your mouth one more time, I’ll stab you to death…”

“Spaaaa….”

“That’s what I thought Steven…” He then gave Steven a picture of Ada. “This is the girl who robbed our store.”

“Why is she wearing a winter coat when it’s hot outside…”

“Why would I know, she’s probably crazy…”

“Whoever she is, she’ll TASTE THE WRATH OF MY SPACE KUNG-FU!”

“IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD ABOUT YOUR STUPID SPACE KUNG-FU, I’LL KICK YOUR A-”

-One hour later-

“WE’RE BACK!” Ada then kicked down one of the plastic chairs and woke Kim up.

“What the hell?” Kim muttered as she woke up.

Ada then gave Kim a paper bag and a drink, “I bought some food to celebrate us killing the vampire hunter!”

Yeah right…

Kim then took out a burger from the paper bag and began eating, “Oh yeah, some guys from Space Chicken came by just a few minutes ago they just left.”

“Wait… did they wear suits?” I said while tapping Kim on the shoulder.

“Yeah, he was some nerd with glasses wearing a checkerboard suit, he kept going on how he knew space kung-fu or something and how he would kill us all…” Kim then finished her burger and took a sip of her drink.

“CRAP HOW DID THE MAFIA FIND US!?” I yelled.

“Woah, Woah, Woah, how do you know it’s the mafia?” Ada then crossed her arms while tapping her foot on the ground.

“What type of other person wears a checkerboard suit?”

“Ehh, I guess you’re right.”

“Space mafia…” Mike chuckled.

“In space…”

“KNOCK IT OFF GUYS, THIS IS SERIOUS!” I then began shaking Owota.

Mike then laughed and put his hand on my shoulder, “Dude, we’re gonna be fine, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Us all dying…” I then took my hands off Owota and turned my head to Mike.

“Dude… none of us are going to die…”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?”

“We’re all capable of defending ourselves…”

“That didn’t stop Bruce Tea from dying!”

“BRUCE TEA DIED FROM A CEREBRAL EDEMA, HE DIDN’T DIE FROM SPACE KUNG-FU!” Mike then began shaking me back and forth.

“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?”

“I DON’T KNOW, I JUST LOOKED IT UP ON GOOPLE!”

“GUYS STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER!” Ada yelled.

“I DON’T WANNA KNOW WHAT SPACE KUNG-FU IS!” I yelled as Mike kept shaking me.

“I’ll just search it up on Goople…” Mike said as he took his hands off me and got his phone out.

-A few minutes later-

“Space kung-fu dojo?” Mike said to himself as he looked at the website page. The website was a horribly made website that had the text, “Join my space dojo!” with a picture of Steven giving a thumbs up with the address of the dojo covering his face.

“What type of idiot would make this…” Mike said as he began to shake his head.

“Apparently this guy called Steven…” Kim said as she leaned in closer to Mike’s phone.

“Steven?” Ada then leaned to look at Mike’s phone, “HOLY CRAP I KNOW THIS GUY!”

“You do?” Mike then zoomed in on Steven’s face on his phone.

“Yeah, I used to be apart of his dojo!”

“You kidding me right…”

“Nope, I’m a black belt in space kung-fu!”

“Of course you are…” Mike then sighed and put his phone back into his pocket.

“Ada I’m really questioning your intelligence right now…” I then pat Ada on the back and sat down.

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? DO YOU GUYS THINK IM STUPID!?”

“Yes…”

“Yes…”

“Yes…”

“Yes…”

“Pfft, screw you guys, you just don’t understand the power of SPACE KUNG-FU!” Ada yelled as she began waving her hands around like a lunatic. “HIYYYYAAA!” She screamed as she smacked one of the tables.

“Lame…”

“Lame…”

“Lame…”

“Lame…”

“Well done my apprentice!” Steven then entered the circus clapping his hands very slowly.

“MASTER!? IS THAT YOU?” Ada then turned around and was in shock as she saw Steven.

“Yes, it is I, STEVEN!” Steven then got into a fighting position stance and clenched his fists.

“I’m guessing you’re here to fight me right?” Ada then got in position as well.

“Yes… because you betrayed me!”

“What do you mean!?”

“You stole from SPACE CHICKEN, PROPERTY OF THE MAFIA!”

“Wait, YOU’RE APART OF THE MAFIA!?”

Steven then got out of position and crossed his arms, he then began to chuckle like a lunatic, “Yes, I am apart of the mafia.”

“YOU SICK BASTARD!” Ada yelled.

“GET READY TO FIGHT ADA! YOU’LL SOON TASTE MY SUPERIOR SPACE KUNG-FU!” Steven then got back into a fighting stance and looked at Ada with evil eyes.

I then turned to Mike with a confused look, “What the fck is going on?”

“To be honest, I have no clue just like you…” Mike then crossed his arms and watched in confusion.

“Same here…” Kim then took a plastic chair and sat down.

– “Me too…” Owota said as he sat down on the floor watching.

“AHHHHHH!” Ada yelled as she ran full speed at Steven.

“AHHHHHH!” Steven screamed as he clenched his fists.

I then tapped Mike on the shoulder, “Are they gonna hurt each other?”

“Likely not…” Mike said confidently.

Ada then stopped running and started punching the air right in front of Steven. “SPACE POWER FIST!” Ada yelled as she punched the air.

Steven then fell to his knees in shock, “I… I’m no match… I cannot beat that! HOW! HOW DID YOU GET SO POWERFUL!?”

“What…”

“What…”

“What…”

“What…”

“Hehe, I trained ever since I left the dojo!” Ada then turned her back to Steven and crossed her arms.

“BUT HOW! I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” Steven then crawled backwards trying to escape.

“LEAVE STEVEN, TELL THE MAFIA TO BACK OFF, OR I’LL USE MY POWER AGAIN!”

“YOU’LL REGRET THIS!” Steven then ran out of the circus as fast as he could.

“I DID IT GUYS, I SAVED US ALL!” Ada yelled as she jumped for joy.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

I think I need a break from all of this…