I Kill Monsters For A Living - Chapter 20 A Job

“Finally! We finished the door!” Mike yelled as he stood up from the floor and began to stretch.

“What do you mean we?” I said as I turned around to look at Mike.

“It means that we finished the door…”

“I’m the only one who fixed the door…”

“I helped with moral support.”

“Sure you did…” I then got off the ground and picked up the box of tools.

“Hey guys, what are we going to do about the squatter?” Ada said as she pocked Chichiro’s back.

“I’m not a squatter, you guys should be begging me to stay considering how cute I am.” Chichiro said while an angry expression.

“Oh, my bad, I’m sorry…” Ada then stopped poking Chichiro.

“Yeah you should be so-”

“GUYS WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE SQUATTING EGOTISTICAL MIDGET!” Ada yelled out loud cutting off Chichiro.

“I’M GOING TO OBLITERATE YOU!”

“GO AHEAD AND TRY LOLI!”

I then turned to Mike and tapped on his shoulder, “Hey Mike, what’s the difference between a midget and a loli?”

“Well… you see… a midget is a very small person, while a loli is a prepubescent girl.”

“So in other words lolicons are pedophiles?”

“Uhh… not really I think?”

“So what’s the difference between a lolicon and a pedophile?”

“A pedophile likes real underage girls, while a lolicon likes fake underage girls.”

“I don’t see a difference…”

“You’ll understand it sooner or later.”

“Don’t do anything to Chichiro please…”

“I won’t…”

Mike then sat down on the couch and began watching TV, “So David, mind explaining why this loli won’t leave our home?”

“I destroyed her best friend robot that was trying to kill me during one of their cultist meetings.”

“What the fck?”

“Yeah, it’s a long story…”

“So what does she want?”

“She apparently wants money since destroying that robot means she shouldn’t find any more gigs.”

“Wait what? Is she like a pop idol or something?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well I guess we can offer her a job, does she have any abilities?”

“I guess, I’ll go ask her about it.” I then walked up too Ada and Chichiro. “Hey Lemon,”

“Hey loser…” Chichiro replied as she stopped fighting with Ada.

I hate this girl…

“I was wondering what that ability of yours was… you know… the one you tried to kill me with…”

“Oh! I see you’ve realized how great I am!”

“No… I just wanted to know what you could do-”

“Well, you’re probably wondering what my ability can do, am I correct?”

“Yes… that’s what I was wondering… is it some kind of ability where you can summon muskets out of thin air?”

“Kinda I guess, I own a pocket dimension filled with guns that I can access whenever I want to.”

Mike then turned around and glared at Chichiro, “That sounds very familiar…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” Chichiro laughed awkwardly.

I then went back to Mike and sat down on the couch right next to him, “So, is she good enough to join?”

“David, I was going to accept her either way…”

“Of course you were…”

I then took out a silver pen and a yellow piece of paper from under Mike’s bed, I then handed Chichiro the pen and paper. “Just sign your name on the bottom…”

“What’s this…?” Chichiro replied.

“We’re giving you a job…”

“You’re giving me a job?”

“Yes I just said that…”

“How much does it pay?”

“Why the hell do you care!? You’re unemployed right now!”

“I ONLY WORK FOR 100K A YEAR!”

“NO ONE’S GOING TO PAY A 17-YEAR OLD THAT MUCH!”

“This job pays at least 60k a year…” Mike said as he turned around to look at us.

“Pfft, I don’t need this job.”

“Okay then.” I said as I took back the piece of paper and pen from Chichiro’s hands.

Chichiro then awkwardly laughed and crossed her arms, “Haha… please give me this job I was joking…”

“Thought so…” I said as I gave Chichiro the pen and paper.

She then sighed the bottom and gave me back the piece of paper. “Why am I doing this…” She whispered to herself.

Age: 17

Likes: Singing

Dislikes: Stalkers

Ability: Pocket Dimension

“WELCOME TO GIGANTOMACHIA!” Mike yelled out loud with his arms open.

“So what do you guys do here?” Chichiro asked as she looked around the room.

“We kill monsters and stuff…” I whispered in her ear.

“WHAT THE FCK WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!”