I Kill Monsters For A Living - Chapter 23 Doki Doki Firing Squad

Pew, Pew, Pew…

Sounds of lasers and gunshots could be heard from Mike’s phone on the couch.

“Huh, I wonder what Mike is playing…” Kim whispered to me as she took out a carton of orange juice from the fridge.

“I don’t know, probably some science fiction game or something…” I replied to Kim.

“YES I DID IT! I BEAT THE FINAL BOSS!” Mike yelled as he jumped for joy.

“Huh, looks like he was playing a game.” Kim then poured herself a cup of orange juice and took a sip.

“Seems fun I guess,” I say as I grab myself a cup of orange juice as well.

“NOW FOR THE REWARD!” Mike yelled in excitement.

“Reward? It’s probably something like a bad ass space sword or something.” Kim then finished her glass and

“Don’t say space Kim…”

“Why?”

“It’s a long story…”

Mike then tapped his phone and began staring at his phone closely.

-Pop-

“Hey guys what’s up, I’m back with some snacks!” Ada said as she teleported in the middle of the room with a plastic bag filled with chips and drinks.

The phone then began playing a scene at loud volume, “MORE, OH YEAH, YES RIGHT THER-”

“NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE!” Mike yelled as he slowly lowered the volume.

Mike then slowly turned to look at us and began slowly walking towards us, “Guys, what ever you think it is, I’m not doing it…”

“You’re playing a hentai game…”

“You’re playing a hentai game…”

“You’re playing a hentai game…”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT IT’S A HENTAI GAME!” Mike yelled in anger.

“BECAUSE IT IS A HENTAI GAME!” Ada yelled at Mike.

“TELL ME ONE THING THAT MAKES DOKI DOKI FIRING SQUAD A HENTAI GAME!?”

“WHAT NON-HENTAI GAME HAS ANIME CHARACTERS MOAN OUT MORE!”

“Yo guys, I’m here.” Chichiro said as she opened the door.

“HEY CHICHIRO YOU PLAY ANIME GAMES RIGHT!?”

“I guess…”

“YOU KNOW DOKI DOKI FIRING SQUAD RIGHT!?”

“Ohh, that’s the hentai game that’s really popular right now right?”

“GOD DAMMIT CHICHIRO YOU BETRAYED ME!”

“Wait what’s happening right now?”

“Mike’s playing a hentai game…”

“Mike’s playing a hentai game…”

“Mike’s playing a hentai game…”

“I AM NOT PLAYING A HENTAI GAME!”

“Alrighty then, what ever you say Mike…” Chichiro then began to step away from Mike.

“GOD DAMMIT GUYS BELIEVE ME FOR ONCE!”

A middle-aged woman wearing a purple dress then came up behind Chichiro and tapped her on the back. “Excuse me little lady, do you work here?”

“Who… ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE YOU PIECE OF SH-”

Kim then quickly covered her mouth and began dragging her back. “Sorry about that mam, won’t happen again.”

Mike walked up to the lady and gave her a business card, “Mike Lpez nice to meet you, what brings you here to our headquarters?”

“There’s… a monster in my apartment…”

“How much are you willing to pay?” Mike then took out a blue piece of paper from his back pocket along with a pen.

“What ever it takes to get that monster out of my apartment.”

“Alrighty then, just sign on this piece of paper.” Mike said as he handed the lady the pen and paper.

She then quickly signed it and gave it back to Mike, “Please be as quick as you can.”

“You got it mam!”

-One hour later-

“Alright guys, we’re here!” Mike then folded up his map and placed it in his back pocket.

We arrived at a two story apartment complex, the building had white walls and a green roof with around 8 apartments.

“I still don’t understand why you used a map to get here…” Chichiro sighed.

“WHY WOULDN’T I USE A MAP?”

“You have a phone…”

“I like having the physical version instead.”

“TOO APARTMENT NUMBER 6!” Ada yelled in excitement.

“I got the keys the lady gave us, who wants to open the door?”

“Let’s just get this job over with…” I say as I grab the keys and enter the apartment complex.

Everyone then crowded behind me ready to begin fighting, “COME OUT MONSTER!” I yell as I get my fists ready.

The room was completely dark with a man sitting at a computer screen. The computer then began playing a scene at loud volume, “MORE, OH YEAH, YES RIGHT THERE!”

“What…”

“What…”

“What…”

“What…”

“What…”

The man then turned around to look at us, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT!?” The man yelled in shock.

“OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY SIR!” I then shut the door shut as fast as I could

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“I’ll call the lady again…” Mike then took his phone out of his pocket and dialed the lady’s phone number. “Hello mam, about the monster in your apartment… what apartment number was it again?”

“Alright mam…” Mike then hanged up and put his phone back in his pocket. “Hey David, can you check again to see if there was a monster inside of that room again?”

“Eh… sure…” I said as I began to open the door again very slowly.

“YES I DID IT! I BEAT THE FINAL BOSS, NOW IT’S TIME FOR MY REWARD!” The man yelled as he jumped for joy.

The computer screen then began playing a scene, “OH NO MISTER NOT THER-”

“NOOOOOPEE!” I yelled as I slammed the door shut again.

“What the hell was that man doing?” Mike asked me as he tapped on my shoulder.

Music then began playing loudly through the walls as the man on the computer began to sing, “Doki, oki Doki Firing Squad, we’ll blow you and your mind away! Doki Doki Firing Squad I promise we’re not going to go away!”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

Threat Level: 0

Abilities: Singing