I Kill Monsters For A Living - Chapter 24 Doki Oki

“SUP NERD WE’RE BREAKING IN!” Ada yelled as she kicked open the door.

“AHHH WHY ARE YOU IN MY APARTMENT!?” The man yelled as he turned off his computer monitor.

Mike then rushed in too, “THERE’S A MONSTER IN HERE, WE’RE HERE TO SAVE YOU… for the low price of-”

“DUDES, LEAVE! MY MOM IS GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE NOW!” The man yelled as he began jumping up and down.

“SHUT IT LOSER, WHERE’S THE MONSTER!?” Ada then looked around the apartment looking for the monster.

“I have generally no idea what you’re talking about…” The man sounded generally confused.

Mike then took out his phone and called the middle-aged woman, “Hey, we’re at the apartment and turns out there’s no monster…”

“Ohh… gotcha…” Mike then put his phone back in to his pocket and sighed for a moment. Mike then turned around to look at all of us, “The lady thought this nerd was being haunted by some demon making him a loser…”

“That hurts, you don’t have to call me a loser…”

-One Hour Later-

“Did you kill the monster haunting my son?” The mother asked Mike as she arrived at the apartment.

“Uhh, I think there isn’t a monster haunting your son…” Mike replied.

“SAVE MY SON FROM THE MONSTER!” The mom cried to Mike.

“THERE IS NO MONSTER!”

“I’LL PAY AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!”

“THERE IS A MONSTER AND I WILL SAVE YOUR SON FROM IT!”

Mike then closed the door and walked towards us. “We’re gonna strike gold if we help this guy stop being a weaboo…”

“Leave it to me!” Chichiro said as she walked up to the man on the chair. “Get off the computer…” Chichiro asked the man.

“No…” The man replied.

“Welp, I tried…”

“Let me try, I think I can handle this.” Ada said as she walked up to the guy sitting in the chair.

“Don’t mess it up…” Chichiro sighed.

“Screw you…” She then leaned her arm on his shoulder and smirked, “Hey pal, you like video games?”

“Video games?”

“That’s what I said…”

“What about video games?”

“Don’t you like it when you recommend your friend a video game, and they start playing it with you, you know what I mean?”

“…” The man stood there quietly.

“You don’t?” Ada said as he leaned in closer.

“Uhh, I wouldn’t know…”

“What do you mean? Don’t you share your video games with your friends?”

“Please don’t make fun of me…” The man sighed.

Ada then took a second to think.

“Ohh… I get it now… you don’t have any video games!”

“…”

“That sucks, why don’t you borrow some games from all the friend you have?”

() “…”

Chichiro then grabbed Ada and pulled her away from the man sitting at the computer, “Ada you’re an idiot…”

Mike then took a step forward, “Guys… I got an idea on how we can fix this loser!”

“You’re a loser too you know.” Chichiro giggled.

“OI GUY IN THE CHAIR!”

() “What?”

“I HAVE A DOKI OKI SUPER MAGICAL FRIEND TIME CHOCOLATY FUDGE COATED SUPER MEGA AWESOME TRAMPOLINE KICKFLIP SUPER DIP SUCK MY DCK TICK SICK TRIP AND FLIP DEAL FOR YOU!”

( o o)”WOAH! A OKI OKI SUPER MAGICAL FRIEND TIME CHOCOLATY FUDGE COATED SUPER MEGA AWESOME TRAMPOLINE KICKFLIP SUPER DIP SUCK MY DCK TICK SICK TRIP AND FLIP DEAL?”

“You are damn right!”

Chichiro then looked at both Mike and the man, “What the fu-”

“I WILL CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE IN DOKI DOKI FIRING SQUAD!”

The man then adjusted his glasses as if he was an anime character, “Heh, what deal are we speaking…”

“I WILL TRADE MY SSR LEGENDARY LOLI SENPAI TO YOU IN THE GAME!”

“NO WAY! An SSR LEGENDARY LOLI SENPAI!? THOSE THINGS ARE SUPER RARE!”

“DAMN STRAIGHT IT IS!”

“Heh, what’s the catch?”

“IF YOU WIN, YOU GET THE SSR LEGENDARY LOLI SENPAI!”

“And if I lose?”

“You give up that computer and get a job.”

“Seems like a good deal.”

Mike then took out his phone and opened his Doki Doki Firing Squad application on his phone. “Join my lobby right now, and we’ll settle this!”

“LET’S GO!” The man then went on his computer and joined Mike’s lobby on the video game.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” Ada screamed.

“I SUMMON MY LOLI HIME!” Mike yelled as he tapped his phone.

The man then gasped and turned towards Mike, “A LOLI HIME!? THOSE THINGS ARE SUPER RARE! I GUESS I’LL COUNTER WITH MY NINJA WAIFU!”

“NINJA WAIFU!?”

“NINJA WAIFU!?”

“NINJA WAIFU!?”

“Why haven’t I said anything the whole time I’ve been here…”

“Wait why the hell are we talking like anime characters?” Chichiro said as she looked around at all of us.

“Dammit! You’re even scummier than I thought!” Mike yelled as he dramatically pointed at the man.

“NINJA WAIFU IS THE MOST POWERFUL CHARACTER IN DOKI DOKI FIRING SQUAD!” I yelled without doing anything.

“What the hell? How do you know about this game?” Chichiro said with a shocked expression as she turned to look at me.

“I don’t know, I felt like it.” I said as I began to shrug.

“YOUR NINJA WAIFU ISN’T AS STRONG AS MY LOLI HIME, YOU ONLY USE YOUR CHARACTERS FOR THE STATS, WHILE I USE MY CHARACTERS… FOR THEIR LOOOOOOOOOOOKS!” Mike then tapped his phone screen furiously.

“NO, HE’S TO POWERFULLL!” The man yelled as he fell off his chair.

Mike then began to sing, “Doki, oki Doki Firing Squad, we’ll blow you and your mind away! Doki Doki Firing Squad I promise we’re not going to go away!”

“Gg, you where no match for me.” Mike then turned around and opened the door. “Goodbye, weakling…”

Chichiro then looked around the whole room and grinned, “WHAT THE FU-“