I Loved You In Order To Survive - Chapter 12

She didn’t inflict a single scratch on Johann’s body, but just threatening him was enough for the Duke to cut all ties with the Count.

The power of the monarchy and the nobles was not the same as before. Any actual power was held by the parliament and the cabinet, so if it were the old days, the family would have collapsed in an instant.

At least, according to the servants, that was the case. Lily had no intention of ruining the family. It was just that Johann tried to hurt her first, and she just put up a defense.

But the Count did not listen to her. The fact that the girl he raised with money, believing that she could be a good substitute for a past blunder, disgraced the family’s name, completely took away his reason.

She was no longer human. The Count did not acknowledge her as his daughter. Lily wondered if he ever thought of her as a daughter from the beginning. He would call her from time to time and kick and beat her until his anger subsided.

She collapsed on the floor after receiving the beatings, and was confined to a narrow place. He really was a ruthless person. He pushed her into the attic, the closet where he kept his cleaning supplies, and even under the hardwood floor.

Lily did not cry as she lay down, hugging her battered body under the nailed floor. It was true that her body ached and hurt. But the pain didn’t break her. Rather, she was very collected and calm.

If you ask me if I regret the choice I made the day I threatened the Duke, I would answer without thinking at all. 

I have never regretted that choice.

She had succeeded in defending herself. She was terrified as the big man was trying to harm her, and she got out of his clutches on her own.

I was very proud of myself…

New scars appeared on my body, but I didn’t mind. Because that was the result of my choice. At least getting beaten up wasn’t the worst thing anymore.

The Count was determined to kill Lily slowly and painfully.

If I were on the verge of losing consciousness, he would notice, pull me out, and feed me bread crumbs and a very small amount of water.

It seemed like he was trying to get revenge on me in his own way. He must have hoped that I would regret it every night and shed tears of repentance. But the more they harassed me, the clearer my mind became.

The experience of choosing my own destiny instead of obeying others and walking in the direction they wanted made me a persistent person.

I wanted to live. 

I had to live even if I hated the Duke and my father, who treated me like an object. 

More so because they wanted me dead.

If the Duke couldn’t hurt me, neither could the Count.

I escaped from the strong grip of a madman.

No one could force fate on me or harm me.

Once you open your cage door and step outside, you realize how narrow and stuffy the cage is. So I decided never to go inside the cage again.

Still, I have never regretted my choice.

***

A lot of information could be obtained from being confined under the wooden floor. For example, the fact that a new maid had been hired.

She listened to the servants. The new maid’s name was Roxy.

Roxy Martin.

She was eighteen years old, had five younger sisters and one younger brother. It seemed that she took the job of a maid to feed her younger siblings and send them to school.

Roxy was unaware of Lily’s existence. Her name became taboo in the mansion. Only a handful of people even had access to her.

Lily knew this was an opportunity.

Although the floor was narrow, it was the best place to plan. She figured out Roxy’s schedule and movement within a few days.

When did she go to work, how long did she work, and where did she spend time alone?

By the time the sun went down and it was getting dark, most maids went home from work or to rest. Roxy had a habit of muttering the lyrics of songs. As soon as Lily heard a humming sound, she squeezed out tears, thinking of the saddest things she could.

Roxy, hearing someone sobbing, stopped her singing.

“Is anyone there?”

Lily called her in a tearful voice.

“Help…”

A gasping sound could be heard above her head. Roxy, who had been listening to Lily with her ear on the floor, asked in a voice that trembled like an aspen leaf.

[T/N: ‘To shake like an aspen leaf’ means ‘To tremble.’ Aspen leaves have long, flat stalks easily blown by the wind.]

“Is anyone there?”

“Help, please help me.”

“How the hell did you get in there? What should I do? Can you wait for a little while I call someone?”

“No one will help me. I am being punished.”

“What?”

“I made a mistake, but… It’s so cold. I think I’m going to die at this rate. Can you let me out for a moment? Please…”

An eighteen-year-old girl who decided to become a maid because of her younger siblings did not fail Lily’s expectations.

“Wait, wait a minute! I’ll find something to tear the floor up.”

Roxy whispered to Lily and ran away. Lily anxiously waited for the maid. Footsteps came closer in a matter of minutes. She heard Roxy tearing nails out with a blade.

Before long, Lily could see Roxy’s face looking at her, her back facing the bright moonlight.

“Are you okay?”

Lily was thin, and her face was wet with tears. Even if she didn’t have the acting skills of a legendary movie star, she was a pitiful child. Roxy felt sorry for Lily.

She didn’t bother to ask what Lily had done wrong. She seemed to think that such a clumsy girl hadn’t done anything wrong. Lily silently wiped away tears, strengthening Roxy’s resolve even more.

There was no need to reveal that she was the daughter of the Count and that she had become like this by threatening Duke Meyer with a mirror shard.

Lily survived half on her own, but the other half was thanks to Roxy’s help, which was no exaggeration. Even though Roxy knew she would be punished if caught, she couldn’t leave Lily alone.

Lily felt a little sorry for taking advantage of Roxy’s good heart, but that was it. Nothing was more important than survival.

Roxy brought Lily leftovers, which she ate little by little. Roxy didn’t want anyone to find out that Lily was getting help from someone.

Roxy used to pack food in a newspaper, and Lily saved the newspaper instead of throwing it away. During the day, light would leak through cracks in the floorboards. Relying on that light, Lily read the newspaper.

Meanwhile, the Bismar family’s power was declining day by day. She didn’t know if her threat to Duke Meyer really had an effect, but the county was no longer the same. She thought that the business the Count had once talked about at dinner must have failed.

My family needed someone to vent their anger on, and that was me. Well, that was okay. The fact that they kept me alive was enough for me.

Pain and hunger have long been part of my life. It was absurd to make me adapt to a new life and environment and now want me to die because they couldn’t stand me.

I continued to entice the weak-minded and read the newspapers I had collected. Thinking about the chance to escape this mansion someday.

There was nothing I could do right now, so I held on as long as I could, waiting for the right opportunity to come.

Years passed like that.

I even forgot how old I was. That was not important. It was important that I was still alive. At that time, I was lying in a small space that I had become accustomed to, like my own room, thinking.

I remembered reading a story about a rebellion in the newspaper. It had been a while since the war broke out, but why was it so peaceful here?

Lily closed her eyes and imagined enemies coming into this country. She pictured them kicking down the door of the mansion.

The Count was not drafted into the war because he was a nobleman. He probably didn’t even know how to fight.

‘They will kill the Count, take away all the gold and silver treasures, and I will  lie down here holding my breath until they leave. No matter how many enemies there are, they wouldn’t think there would be someone under the floor. When they’re all gone, I’ll be free.’

It was when she was thinking about it.

There was a loud noise and the sound of people rushing in.

She lay under the floorboards, curled up, holding her breath, thinking.

‘What happened?’

Shouts and screams overlapped. It was certainly not a visit from friendly guests.

Several pairs of shoes thumped frantically overhead.

***