I Loved You In Order To Survive - Chapter 14

The soldier listened to Lily silently. It was difficult to read his emotions. She really felt like she was going to faint because she couldn’t tell if he knew she was lying or if he really believed her.

 

Then, he made a terrifying offer.

 

“…I will take you where the food is.”

 

Horrified, Lily screamed without thinking.

 

“No!”

 

The soldier frowned slightly.

 

Was he angry?

 

Terrified, she wasn’t hiding her feelings properly, and was making the situation worse.

 

“I can’t go outside. Please.”

 

“There is nothing here. Everything was confiscated for the revolution. There is no reason for you to be here any longer.”

 

“Who are you, and why should I follow you? You might sell me or abuse me yourself.”

 

“I can show you my ID if you want.”

 

“I still don’t want to go outside.”

 

Losing her composure was a more fatal problem than expected. She couldn’t think properly. Before she even thought about it, all sorts of words came pouring out like excuses. She had to fool him calmly, but it was all ruined. She could tell that he doubted her.

 

He looked straight at her as if trying to read her thoughts, and then lowered his voice.

 

“I will ask you one thing. Are you Heloise Bismar?”

 

The moment the name she least wanted to hear spilt out of his lips, she knew instinctively that her life was over.

 

There was no point in denying it now.

 

He wasn’t actually asking if she was Heloise.

 

“From the beginning… Did you know everything?”

 

He stood in front of her like an iron fortress. There was no way to escape. Lily finally gave up, feeling weariness creeping in.

 

Her eyes went to the pistol hanging from his waist. Yes, she thought that if he were going to kill her, it would be best if he killed her cleanly with that gun. There was nothing she could do now. She could only hope that he was a different kind of person than Count Bismar.

 

Having obtained the truth, the soldier asked useless questions.

 

“I heard you know how to play the piano.”

 

“Did you play the piano in the next room?”

 

“Is it true that your family tried to starve you to death?”

 

Lily started to get mad.

 

‘Why do you talk so much when you’re going to kill me anyway?’

 

‘Are you playing with me?’

 

Lily glared at him, thinking there was no need to look good to him.

 

“There’s no point in telling you. I’m going to die anyway.”

 

The soldier just stared at her with that dignified face. Lily was upset because she felt like a mouse caught in a trap. More than anything, it was embarrassing. How tenaciously she survived to die like this. It was truly embarrassing.

 

Sure enough, the soldier called his men. Lily prepared to be taken away by them.

 

But to her surprise, he lied about her identity.

 

“She’s just a nomad. I found her lurking in the house.”

 

It was confusing.

 

‘What? Isn’t this guy a revolutionary? Why did you lie to your co-workers? I am Heloise Bismar.’

 

Unable to understand his plan, Lily kept her mouth shut.

 

The soldier even handed her food.

 

Lily found out for the first time that day that bread could smell fragrant.

 

Anyway, she got another chance. An opportunity to fill her stomach, and an opportunity to plan. She chewed on the oat bread and shook her head.

 

The soldier lied about her identity. It was as if he had decided to spare her.

 

‘Why do you want to save me? Maybe I unknowingly bought sympathy. Because I looked shabby and pitiful to the point where he couldn’t believe that I was an aristocrat.’

 

Sympathy or no, she succeeded in changing his mind. Lily couldn’t miss this opportunity. She had to like him in order to live. She had to prove that she was a person worth saving.

 

She was very used to this kind of situation.

 

“Have you played the piano lately?”

 

Oh, yes.

 

Piano.

 

She had a piano.

 

She knew she had a talent for playing the piano. It would be her sword on shield.

 

She needed to ensure he didn’t regret the decision to save her.

 

Although he didn’t ask her to play the piano, Lily got up first. Her body, which previously collapsed and lost consciousness, regained its vitality. There was no time to delay. She had to live.

 

She felt the soldier following her. The hair all over her body stood on end, reacting to every movement he made.

 

‘Calm down, Heloise.’

 

‘You used to play the piano often. You just have to do what you do. Just make him fall for your playing.’

 

As Lily sat down in front of the piano, she suddenly remembered that it had been a long time since she had played. She decided to trust herself, then put both hands on the piano keys.

 

While she was playing, she tried to focus only on the music. Lily tried to forget the soldier’s existence as much as possible. A concert hall was created in her head. The audience was listening to her performance in the dark. She felt more at ease.

 

Her playing slowly restored her confidence.

 

The soldier waited in silence until she finished playing. She was able to focus more on her performance.

 

The music that had risen to its climax faded, and before long, she pressed the last key. She didn’t notice, but she was sweating.

 

‘Will he still be listening to me play?’ 

 

Lily turned her head.

 

The soldier was standing in the same spot, looking at her with a pensive expression. At least it didn’t look like he wanted to kill her, so she was relieved.

 

“Did they teach you piano?”

 

Lily thought his voice sounded a bit strange.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I can’t believe it.”

 

The soldier muttered to himself. He looked over her skinny body and the scars the chemise was barely covering. He let out a sigh, closed his eyes and paused before striding toward her.

 

The soldier stretched out his hand towards her. She thought he would grab her arm and pull her up. But instead of dragging her along, he just held out his hand. Even though she couldn’t understand his intentions, she gave him her right hand. It was a habit she developed when she was living as an aristocrat.

 

Lily thought he might laugh at her. She pretended to be a tramp but wanted to be treated like a lady. But the soldier didn’t. Rather, he really treated her like a lady.

 

The soldier bent down and kissed the back of her hand. Then he came very close, and their eyes met.

 

She could now see the kindness in his eyes. Her performance was enjoyable. It was definitely something to be happy about, but her body was trembling against her will.

 

The soldier didn’t say anything and just left the room. There was the sound of a door closing. The sound of footsteps grew farther and farther away and soon became inaudible.

 

‘I survived.’

 

It was definitely a success…

 

Tears broke out.

 

Lily sat down at the piano and cried. Feelings that had been suppressed for fear of offending him came out belatedly. She hurriedly wiped away her tears, but once they began, they did not stop easily.

 

She was so scared. When he asked her name, stared at her, listened to her play, then kissed the back of her hand…

 

Every moment she spent with him was a terror to her. Lily was the daughter of a captured nobleman, and he was a soldier. Besides, he had a gun.

 

The feeling of relief that she had survived shattered in an instant. She wasn’t afraid of Johann Meyer, nor her father. But he was different.

 

Because he could kill her anytime.

 

He could have killed her, but he had mercy on her instead.

 

Her life dangled from his fingertips.

 

‘Am I okay? You are okay, Heloise.’

 

‘He liked you. He wished for you to live. Don’t think about anything else.’

 

Lily repeated to herself and wiped away tears.

 

And she hoped never to see him again.

 

***

 

The soldier came to see her again shortly after. This time Lily thought he had changed his mind. But contrary to her expectations, he took a sandwich from his bag and handed it to her.

 

Even as she accepted the sandwich, she wondered what the hell this man was thinking.

 

Did he have a purpose?

 

Lily thought the soldier had a dark ulterior motive. Because there was no favor without reason in the world. Her father taught her that directly. Same with d*mn Johann Meyer.

 

The soldier just stared at her while she ate the food he gave her. It was like he was seeing someone eat for the first time. His gaze was too plain and dry to have an ulterior motive.

 

Still, Lily didn’t trust the soldier hastily.

 

The more he tried to be nice to her, the bigger her distrust grew. The unexplained favor made her even more afraid.

 

Was he laying down the groundwork to do something later?

 

Anyway, she eagerly accepted the food he gave her. Whatever his intentions, she had to conserve her stamina.

 

Like an idiot, Lily kept saying thank you over and over again. Playing a nice and pitiful woman was her speciality.

 

She put on a stupid smile in front of him and nodded her head unconditionally to what he said.

 

Whatever the plan, he liked her, and normal people would take it for granted if she acted stupid.

 

Lily had to make him keep liking her.

 

He was still a terror to her, but Lily had to cling to his patronizing favors.

 

Revolutionary Army officer Giles Hessen’s visit continued like that.

 

Lily gradually wondered if the insidious plan in this man’s head might be trying to fatten her up. He really only brought her food. And then he watched her eat.

 

Did he do this as his hobby?

 

Lily knew there were narcissists who gave food to poor kids.

 

‘Is Giles one of those types? Or do I look funny when I eat?’

 

Lily was hungry, and to be honest, she ate in a hurry.

 

Besides, he looked at her as if something bad would happen if she didn’t eat well.

 

Did he know that there were several times she almost got stomachaches?

 

Giles’ visits were now predictable.

 

Lily hoped she would never see that terrible military uniform again, but he routinely came to her.

 

Lily pretended to welcome him every time.

 

It was the same on that day…

***