I Refuse To Be A Character In A Novel - Chapter 46

When they reached the dining hall, the table had already been prepared and warm food was waiting to be served.

After the two of them settled down, luxurious meals were served according to their taste.

Yet even as her favorite plate was placed before her, for some reason, Erna lost her appetite.

‘What will happen after the divorce?’

As if it was a newly learned fact, she kept agonizing over the matter.

‘I don’t want Jonas to hate me but… ’

Changing her decision was not a choice she could consider.

Erna had to break the plot of the novel.

Not only for her sake but for Jonas’ as well.

Though he didn’t know it, Jonas was set to have a very thorny path, only to be met with a sad ending.

However right now, he was but a happy child and Erna had to consider that.

‘…’

After some deep thought, she took a deep breath and again tried to organize her thoughts with a rational mind.

‘According to the novel, Jonas grew up in the capital.’

Though the plot has been slightly different, he will most probably reside there after this summer.

That’s where his real sword training and his education as well was going to be held at.

When that happens, I can see him anytime.

Our estates are not far away from each other and Zachary isn’t one to keep him away from me.

In the future when Jonas attends the Ludemia academy, I might already be a teacher there.

And if not, then I can simply visit him.

…Perhaps he would visit me as well.

We can even take trips together on his vacations.

‘It’s unreasonable for me to maintain my distance from my son just because I want a divorce. Even if I’m being selfish, I can’t help but want to be closer to him.’

Burying her fears of how Jonas might react, under a beautiful fantasy of their future, a smile gradually formed on her lips, giving her back her bright expression.

✰✰✰✰✰

“You don’t have any classes this afternoon, do you?”

After arranging her thoughts, Erna decided to break the silence first.

“…I have etiquette class with Ms. Dale.”

Jonas answered with a hint of regret in his tone.

“Ah…It’s unfortunate that we can’t spend this afternoon together.”

‘And it’s even more unfortunate that the one entrusted with your etiquette is Catherine.’

“But there’s still a lot of time before then!”

Jonas added, hurriedly.

Ever since earlier, his mother has been avoiding his eyes.

Truthfully, Jonas wanted to hold her hand, very much in fact.

But as he was thinking back on her words, his mother’s expression suddenly turned gloomy.

And since she was always the one to start the conversation, the mood soon turned awkward when she remained silent.

Ignorant of her inner thoughts, Jonas felt regretful for not taking her hand right away.

Afraid that she would no longer say those words, Jonas tried to say something back several times, but in the end failed to.

Luckily, his mother still looked at him warmly.

✰✰✰✰✰

Unlike her earlier fears, the conversation with her son flowed smoothly over the meal.

Erna asked him about his day and told him about hers.

“Oh! By the way, now that I’ve honed my piano skills a little bit, can I join you for a play after your classes?”

When there was no answer, Erna followed her words.

‘Right! Let’s not pressure him.’

“… Perhaps another day?”

‘She didn’t forget.’

Containing a smile that almost leaked from his lips, Jonas answered coolly while chewing his vegetables.

“If mother wants to.”

Erna giggled to herself at the small figure that resembled Zachary.

She couldn’t tell if he was simply imitating him or truthfully had the same attitude.

‘He’s too adorable. I wonder if Zachary resembled him when he was young.’

Such a thought crossed her mind.

By the end of lunch the mother and son had agreed to take a walk together before Jonas headed to his class.

✰✰✰✰✰

With Mielle and Rose behind, Erna walked hand in hand with her son.

The Malania trees, adorned with pink flowers, curved on both sides of the road made a beautiful panel leading to the garden.

By the end of spring, the snow had completely melted and the garden was now brightly colored.

The road, where the pink flowers scattered across and the red Chrysanthemum gently shaking under the spring breeze, was long enough for the two of them to talk about all sorts of things.

It was a beautiful morning they would both remember for a long time.

✰✰✰✰✰

During the walk, Erna told Jonas about her dream.

She didn’t mention any details but instead she persistently reminded him that she would always be there for him.

When she did, Jonas curiously asked.

“Was it a bad dream?”

“It wasn’t all that bad actually.”

Erna smiled as she recalled his grown up figure.

“But somehow…”

She then trailed off, lost in thought.

It was only then that Jonas remembered something important.

His mother was afraid of the darkness.

That’s why she asked him to sleep with her last time.

Holding her hand tight, Jonas smiled innocently.

This time, he would be the one to ask her.