I Refuse To Say Goodbye - Chapter 2

The funeral of the Viscount and his wife was held prematurely. Very few came to the funeral at the remote and small estate, as the whole country was in the midst of an epidemic. They were cremated according to the laws for dealing with contagious bodies.

 

Raina stood in a daze throughout the entire funeral. She did not cry or scream. The servants dressed her in a black outfit and tied her long blond hair with a black ribbon. However, she did not change out of her outfit for several days after the funeral, and she was still absent-minded.

 

“Mother and father are gone? Gone?”

 

She couldn’t believe it. They were so healthy just before she was locked in the room.

 

“Was that the last time I saw them?”

 

“Have some soup, Young Lady.”

 

The worried words of the maid did not reach her ears.

 

“My mother and father are gone. I can’t see them anymore, I can’t talk to them. I can’t even hold them in my arms…”

 

“Oh, Miss…?”

 

Without even realizing it, tears were dripping down Raina’s eyes.

 

“I…I…now…”

 

“Miss, Miss.”

 

The servant hugged Raina. She held her body and cried with her.

 

“I don’t have a father or mother. And I can’t ever see them again. Why? Why? Why?”

 

“Oh, my poor girl…”

 

“Why did they die? Why? Why? Why don’t I have a father and mother anymore?”

 

She would break down the door to see them if she knew that it would be the last time.

 

“No, I’m going to see my mother and father. I want to see them. What should I do? How can I see my father and mother?”

 

The servant hugged Raina with tears in her eyes.

 

“My lady, my dear lady….”

 

Raina struggled in her arms.

 

“I hate it! I don’t want my mother and father to be gone! Please let me see them! Please let me see them! Let me see them!”

 

“Young lady, you gave your last speech at the funeral. There is still your brother who’s here with you.”

 

The servant soothed Raina with a gentle voice. But Raina sobbed.

 

“Mother, father, why did you die…..?”

 

The maid stroked Raina’s back, calming her.

 

“Lady Raina…”

 

At that moment, another servant called Raina from outside the door with a knock. The servant released Raina from her arms and went to the door to take the message for her, as Raina did not have any strength left from crying.

 

“What’s going on? And you’re…..”

 

“My lord is looking for the lady…”

 

“Your Lord?”

 

The servant looked back at Raina with a bad premonition. Raina was exhausted and just sat on the bed in a trance like a doll.

 

“Do you want to see me, brother?”

 

Raina asked as soon as she stepped into the office.

 

“Call me ‘My Lord’.”

 

“….”

 

Raina’s older brother, Craig, spoke with a frustrated voice. Raina was just silent, her face slumped down, red and flamed from crying. There was no more expression on her face.

 

“Pfft, you’re pathetic. You’re fourteen years old, you should know how to accept death resolutely. Well, that’s all right. I wanted to see you because there’s something you have to do.”

 

Craig sat smoothly in his chair in the office, as if he was the lord of the house. Raina didn’t like her brother. Craig was violent and greedy from an early age. He never cared about his sister, who was eight years younger than he was, and always treated her like an obstacle. He even bad-mouthed her for just showing off.

 

Because of his personality, their parents never allowed him to volunteer at the orphanage. Their parents didn’t like their son’s personality, so they made Raina study hard to inherit the title. However, their parents died suddenly before Raina grew up, so it was inevitable that her brother took over the seat.

 

As he handed Raina a stack of papers, there was no trace of tears in his eyes, no trace of sadness on his face.

 

“Read it. You can read, can’t you?”

 

“The Cranchet Orphanage…?”

 

This was where her parents took her to volunteer together before they died. The orphanage was named after the family name, as her parents were the founders.

 

“The director of the orphanage pestered me for medicine and support items, and I chased him out. You are going to be the director of that orphanage from now on.”

 

“I…”

 

“Oh, you can still stay in this mansion for now. Although, you will have to marry into a wealthy family when you are old enough. I‘m putting your name on the ledger.”

 

Raina couldn’t comprehend what was being said and blinked blankly.

 

“What am I supposed to do?”

 

“You don’t have to do anything… Oh, actually, go there once or twice a month and follow my instructions.”

 

Then Craig took out a sheet of paper, scribbled something on it, fluttered it to dry the ink, folded it, and handed it to Raina.

 

“I want you to follow these guidelines. There is nothing else you need to do. But if you don’t, I will not forgive you. Do you understand?”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“Then sign these documents.”

 

Raina obeyed silently. After signing a few papers in order, Raina left the office with the papers and her brother’s guidelines.

 

The next day, Raina rode in her family’s carriage to the orphanage. The seasons had changed, she was a year older, and the Cranchet Orphanage was in an even worse state than before.

 

“Lady, a place like this…..No, you only need to visit once or twice a month.”

 

The servant thought that Raina, who was standing in front of the orphanage, would be surprised to see how dirty the orphanage was. However, Raina quietly opened the gate of the orphanage and went into the garden. There were many children playing in the yard. Yet, the children she saw last winter weren’t seen. Then, Raina looked around and saw a familiar face in the corner of the garden.

 

“Hey.”

 

The kid raised his head at her call. The face that looked up at Raina was filled with fear. It was the same boy that handed out the halved cookie to Raina before.

 

“I’m sorry. There won’t be any cookies this time.”

 

Raina told him. The child shook his head.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“Why? But you like cookies.”

 

“Yes, I liked them.”

 

The child mumbled and lowered his head.

 

“My friend who eats with me died. So I don’t have to eat anymore.”

 

“Dead?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Why? Because of an epidemic?”

 

“No. He avoided the contagion, but he got something else. The director brought in a doctor, but he said the medicine was too expensive.”

 

“….”

 

“Hey. When is our director coming?”

 

That’s when the other kid called out to her. He grew taller, and his body became pitifully thin.

 

“The director went out the day before yesterday and didn’t come back. Before he left, he said he would give us a full meal.”

 

“You came from the Viscount residence, right? The director said he would be there too, but why didn’t you come with him?”

 

Raina slowly shook her head. “I’m the Director.”

 

“What…?”

 

“The Director went elsewhere. I’m the new Director.”

 

The kid’s eyes were filled with deep distrust, and it seemed like he was hurt. The quick-witted kid seemed to have guessed what had happened. He walked away without speaking to Raina any further. Raina sighed. Many orphans died of the epidemic, but new orphans who lost their parents came in, and the number of children was similar to that of last winter.

 

‘So many children with no mother and father.’ Raina thought as she read the children’s register list.

 

“Young lady, you can stop doing that now. No more…”

 

“I’d like to see the pantry,” Raina said, interrupting the servant.

 

The pantry contained only enough food for a few days, enough to make soup to eat.

 

The pantry was basically empty.

 

“Is this all?”

 

“Yes,” said the oldest girl in the orphanage.

 

“Shouldn’t we get some more?”

 

“I heard the director doesn’t have any money.”

 

“I thought you were sponsored. If it was an orphanage…”

 

“That’s why the director went to your residence’s office to get sponsorship.”

 

The girl’s tone was inevitably criticized.This girl, who was older than the boy from earlier, would be able to catch a glimpse of how it all went down. Raina fell silent.

 

She went back to the Director’s office again and examined the amount of money left in the safe and the ledger. Unable to read the ledger properly, Raina calculated the numbers.

 

‘There’s only 28 gold left? 28 gold, 45 silver, and 2 copper left.’

 

“Can you read the ledger?” Raina asked the girl.

 

The girl nodded.

 

“I’ve helped the director with books on occasions.”

 

“So, how much food can you buy with this money?”

 

“It’s enough food for a month.”

 

“And after that?”

 

“…”

 

The girl made no reply. Raina, with the help of the girl, Sera, continued to read the account book.

 

The financial situation of the orphanage was serious. It was further aggravated when the epidemic became deadly that they had to seek medicines, and there was no sponsor.

 

The biggest benefactor of the orphanage, which was established by the Cranchet family, who had been on a fixed income, sent a letter to suspend their support. The letter was dated the day after the death of Raina’s parents.

 

‘Brother, what the hell are you doing? How are the children in this orphanage supposed to live?’

 

Raina was confused. She searched through the Director’s mailbox until she found a letter from the Kingdom’s central government. She took out the letter, glanced at it quickly, and suddenly grabbed Sera’s hand, who was watching her suspiciously. Sera was flabbergasted.

 

“They’re sending us supplies after this spring!”

 

“I see.”

 

Then, Sera became concerned. “I’m sure we’ll manage until this spring.”

 

Raina exhaled, suddenly realizing that she was immersed in her work at the orphanage.

 

‘Why do I only have to come here once or twice a month?’

 

However, there were so many children here without a father and mother. The story of the dead child still lingered in her head.

 

Suddenly, Sera asked cautiously, interrupting Raina’s thoughts.

 

“What should we do this spring?”

 

“That’s… oh, right!”

 

Raina searched her pocket and took out the instructions written by her brother. It was clear that there was a way to pass spring. Raina’s face gradually turned into joy as she read the instructions with a hopeful expression.