I Shall Be Happy (Attack On Titan Fan-fic) - Chapter 41

(Annie’s POV)

(At the girl’s dorm)

It’s been more than 2 hours. Why is Mikasa still not back?

I got more irritated as time keep passing by.

A strange feeling of insecurity emerged within me, giving me a bunch of discomfort around my body.

My index finger keeps tapping on the desk, and occasionally, I would scratch my head. My mouth was biting the nails of my other hand as I keep shaking my legs. My brain can’t help but think about the countless possibilities, and none of them turned out to be good. My stomach would churn around and making me feel nauseous. My body temperature dropped a bit lower than usual, as if the blood was drained out of my body, giving me a pale appearance.

Am I sick?

I turned down to look at Historia, who was sleeping right under my bed. She also had a bit of discomfort on her face, but it was evident that her symptoms were very mild.

I don’t understand. Why am I feeling so restless?

Is it because of Thana-kun?

Creak*

The door was finally opened, and Mikasa finally walked in.

I jumped down and approached her quickly.

My hasty action made a lot of noise, thus drew others’ attention onto me. I didn’t care, though. I needed an answer.

But what am I going to ask?

Do I just say, ‘Hey Mikasa? How was your confession’?

I don’t even know why I’m so irritated, but I am pissed for some reason.

“Mikasa…”

I stopped speaking after saying just her name.

I can smell the scent of Thana-kun’s body odor all over her body. Have they gone that far?

Impossible.

Thana-kun isn’t that kind of guy. I know he won’t do such a thing until she is older. But I… don’t know anymore.

“How… far have… you gone?”

I tried to stay as calm as possible, but once I began to think that they have already done ‘it’, I just couldn’t keep my composure. My voice started to crack, and I couldn’t speak without sounding like I was crying.

Is this what jealousy is?

Now I know that it’s true; that you will never know what is precious to you until you lose it.

Ironically, I already knew that I was fighting a losing battle, and yet, I was still persisting until now.

I am not weak.

I was just… too late into the race.

My heart aches.

It’s painful… It’s like my heart is made of glass, and now it’s shattered into pieces. And while I’m bleeding, my heart is no longer whole.

I have lost, and that is the reality.

If only I have the courage to flirt with him more.

Maybe if I have tried a little harder during the training, he would have been prouder of me.

If only I were more talented… then surpassing Mikasa wouldn’t have been a dream.

Yes… that was if only those weren’t ifs. But the reality is, I have already lost.

I couldn’t stand being here anymore. I’m just merely making a fool of myself by being here. I can hear snickerings going around. I can feel Historia’s look of concern on me. And most cruelly, I can feel the sympathy coming from Mikasa.

I’m tired.

Mikasa just stood there silently without a word.

I wonder if she’s laughing at me in her mind right now. I already knew she wasn’t, but I couldn’t help but wallow in self-pity.

“Annie…”

“Mikasa. You… don’t have to look at me like that. I have already lost.”

It’s kind of funny now that I look at it. I have never stood a chance at all. Not when I didn’t even try to make him love me. I thought I had done enough, but that was just my delusion.

I wonder how if I would be able to face him tomorrow. How would he see me now that he has Mikasa?

Maybe it would have been better if I just left.

I guess I will take a walk to think this through.

Then as I walked past Mikasa with our shoulder brushing by, she enveloped me around the neck with open arms.

“I talked… with Thana-kun about it… He’s fine with… you know… Three of us together…”

I was utterly shocked by the words coming from her mouth. For a moment, I wondered if I even heard it wrong. I couldn’t form any more coherent thought, and I could only think of one word.

‘Together.’

Snapping out of my state of blankness, I questioned her again if this was true.

“Are you… serious, Mikasa?”

“Uhm…”

Once she affirmed that Thana-kun was fine with me, I began to doubt if that was his idea.

“Was it you?”

“…” She didn’t say anything, but that silence was basically a yes to me.

My body began to relax from my previous tense state. My heart began to pump regularly again, giving me a healthy shade of blush.

But now I have a new problem: trying to win Thana-kun’s heart.

But the bright side? It means that even if Thana-kun already has Mikasa, he still has room for more. And this time, I’m not giving up.

“Thank you, Mikasa.”

“Uhm.”

I won’t let myself be in despair like this. Starting tomorrow, I will begin my advance on Thana-kun more aggressively than before. So one day, I will confess to him and he won’t be able to deny me.

She was truly my most reliable ally and friend.

(A/N: Or the worst enemy)

“Let’s sleep together! Here, I have been saving you a spot.”

“Ok…”

My fighting spirit was now ignited. I’m quite excited about what the near future will hold.

Embrace yourself Thana-kun. I’m coming for you strong. And stronger than ever before.

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Title: “The author has no experience in romance so don’t judge him plz. It took him quite a while to write this but he hopes it’s good enough.”

“Damn you Athanatos. I also want beautiful girls by my side but that’s impossible because I’m too lazy to get marry. No… actually the truth is even if I want to, I’m too much of a coward for that.”

Tbh, I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I’m just writing this on the phone because I can’t write it in the author note bc it exceeds the words limit.