I Started To Gain Sentience In An Eroge - Chapter 54: [Kurokawa] There is only me left.

*Erk*

*Kachak*

“I’m home.”

Closing the cold, metallic door behind my back, I am greeted by nothing but the chilling air of the corridor. Somehow, even though it is not the cold season, the temperature in my house still makes my skin crawl. Unlike the place I just got back from, in this place, there exists no warmth that can bring me the similar comfort of being by his side.

This is the place of my parents, where I sleep almost every night.

Frankly speaking, I would not go into detail to describe this place. There is no need to do something so boring and redundant since it is just like the other houses around this area. White walls, an orange roof, and a garden to the sides, all of that. Before knowing C, I thought it was normal. I never paid any attention to the similarities between the houses. Everything was how it should have been.

But now, I know the reason why.

When everyone gathers at Han’s mansion, there is no need to create any distinctive features of other places. If Han’s villa had enough rooms for everyone, there was no need for us t go back to our respective houses. Therefore, the developers would not need to create any distinctive features for the exteriors. The interior, on the other hand, is different.

*Sigh*

I breathe out heavily, disgusted by my own world. If it was not for C, I would have never awoken from this long, perverted nightmare.

Well, almost.

According to his words, my event is yet to come. I wonder how this world’s disgusting system will take hold of me. Rachel was forced to have sex with someone she did not want to. As for Laura, I doubt her event will commence normally. However, she was supposed to be in the hands of a bunch of bullies in the past. Then, what will I have?

It is clear that there would be an event to make us fall in love with Han. Yet, the information I have on my hands is too little to deduce anything. The only way I can get more is to pay attention while C thinks to himself and work from there.

Nevertheless, I would prepare myself for the worse. That is the reason why I came back home. Maybe it will help, maybe not. But knowing and not doing anything is not in my mind. A few items will be of use, I hope.

In front of me right now is the dark hallway. The corridor of this house is like the jaws of a gnawing monster, about to devour my soul entirely. In addition to the chilling air, this place also wants to decrease my sanity.

In addition to its low temperature, the house is almost silent. After saying my greeting, no one returns my call. In a way, it is fortunate since I do not have the mood to talk to anyone. Furthermore, since I did not get home last night or make a call, there would have been some consequences.

Why would I say my greetings if no one was at home?

As a good girl who listens to her parents’ words, I must. And because it is a habit that was hammered into my head. Also, saying I am home will save me from another trouble if someone is actually present for whatever reason.

It is the exact opposite inside Han’s mansion, where that man now resides.

Shaking my head to get rid of his images, I take my shoes off and continue deeper into the house. I came back to get some alone time to think about what I should do from this point onward, and that is what I am going to do. After all, Mother is not at home at this time of the day.

*Click*

The light is turned on, illuminating the whole house. Instantly, my visual field is filled with a familiar scene. On two sides of the corridor are the blank white-yellow walls. Unlike the other place where the walls are decorated with drawings and pictures, the walls of my house are very plain.

As I walk on the wooden floor, it creaks loudly, bringing in the only sounds besides my breathing to this place. And the more I travel inside, the more a horrible stench penetrates my nostrils. It is a sour, damp, and musky smell of garbage. There is also a light scent of alcohol in the air.

She probably made another mess again. Mother is always like that when she gets back from work.

*Cling clang*

My feet accidentally kick a bottle of wine when I walk past her room. She did not even close the door after leaving for work in the morning. Due to the smell, I do not need to peek inside to know what kind of garbage Mother sleeps on. Her room is filled with filth, such as alcohol bottles, cigarette buds, and spoiled foods that have been left there for many days until she decides to throw them away. Not only that but there are countless black bags filled with dirty items inside. Somehow, she thinks that is normal.

On the one hand, she lives among a bunch of garbage and sleeps next to them without a care. On the other hand, she walks outside the door with the most expensive perfume she can get her hands on. I mean, I understand her profession requires her to be dressed up loosely to appeal to many men, but she does not need to sleep next to garbage like that.

*Sigh*

My feet pick up the pace, and I walk straight to the bathroom and throw my dirty uniform into the washing machine. There is no need to care about Mother right now.

*Shaaaaa*

I turn my head upward to the shower and close my eyes.

Hot water splashes onto my face, washing away all the dirtiness that accumulated after a whole day. The water can help me get rid of the dust and oil on my face and hair, yet it can not aid me with the turmoil inside my heart.

At this point, I do not know anymore what I should do. My world has crumbled since yesterday.

The reason is simple, really. Unfortunately for me, that simple reason can not be fixed.

Am I real? Or am I just some kind of character inside of a game?

I know I live inside a two-dimensional world, but is my existence, or anyone’s existence in this world, real?

That question keeps bothering me. From the moment we met C until now, after seeing the struggles of Laura and Rachel, I can not help but think about the word freedom and the existence of everyone in this world.

Are we alive?

That is probably the biggest question. Such a philosophical question will never be answered. Who can answer it, really?

Having read many books, or as C put it when the system forced me to read many books, that philosophical inquiry is still hard for me to answer. The characters in my books…are they truly alive? Do they make their own choices? Or, just like Rachel before being touched by C, everything they do is controlled by an invisible system, a higher being, an author? If the answer is a yes, then who is this being? What are they?

Does freedom mean I can make my own choices? Can I live the life I want to?

Then, what if I do not know the decisions I make are under some kind of influence? That is essentially how characters in a story should behave, except for a few that break the fourth wall. And even when they are breaking the fourth wall, it is still under a pre-defined script.

I am in a similar situation to those in my books. The characters in my books, until the end of the story, until their final happy or tragic ending, will have everything written down to its tiniest details.

That chills me to the core…Even the warmth of the water can not make that kind of cold disappear…

*Pa*

Waking myself up from a spiral of existential crisis, I gently slap my cheeks. Rather than thinking about that, I should focus on what to do next.

Yesterday was eventful, to say the least. I had the chance to witness the forces of this world in the act. At the same time, I had the opportunity to observe the struggles of the affected. These made me realize we were facing something much grander than we initially thought.

Out of pure coincidence, Laura was freed by C’s touch. After that, she tried her best to tie Rachel down with the story using her newfound privilege. I must say I understood her thinking in a way. Personally, I would not feel comfortable seeing my mortal enemy be freed both mentally and physically. There is no need to keep a ticking time bomb next to you. That is even more accurate considering their history together.

It would create massive complications for me if Rachel was gone, though. Laura was slowly turning into a second Rachel, and I was unsure I could handle her personally. If I left Rachel alone after her event was completed, she would feel dead inside and perhaps find a way to kill herself due to shame.

It was my double-crossing that Rachel managed to be saved by C.

Really, it was an underhand tactic.

But it worked. As long as it worked.

At least Rachel now owes me, so my chance of success should be higher. There should be a higher chance for me to get my freedom. I understand the class rep told me she would let me be by C’s side if we worked together. To be honest, I do not believe her. It all boils down to trust between us. And at this moment, Laura has the least in my book.

Still, I think we all agree on one thing, and that is how we would kill to get rid of our shackles. Rachel, Laura, and I would never allow ourselves to be under the influence of something to do that we do not like. Especially in the case of Han, who has always been backed up by an invisible system.

From what I can see, I am in a disadvantageous position compared to the other two.

Therefore, I need to prepare myself for the worst.