I Thought I Was The Main Character - Chapter 20

I really thought she was going to come back this time.

 

Surprisingly, Aesvin sent another letter.

 

I deliberately didn’t reply to the request for a visit.

 

Then Aesvin came to see me in person.

 

I didn’t say a friendly greeting.

 

We didn’t even have a long conversation.

 

I faced her and turned right away.

 

I only spoke coldly when we shared more than one word occasionally.

 

I said things that could be considered offensive.

 

Even so, Aesvin was always bright.

 

She was kind and had a bright smile.

 

I thought she would get bored soon, but she’s been persistent for over a year.

 

I was alone in the lonely palace, but her cheerful voice resounded.

 

The brightness seemed to linger even after she left.

 

The sense of crisis that I felt at first grew stronger.

 

This kid didn’t belong with me.

 

She was an amiable person who was loved and raised differently from me.

 

Just a few words made me feel desperate.

 

So I didn’t want to come any closer.

 

I didn’t want you to be in danger.

 

And as time goes by.

 

– Prince Luciano, tell Aesvin to join us for tea time next time.

 

– I heard that Aesvin went there yesterday, too. I really want to meet her.

 

Whenever Empress Isabelle met me, she began to ask about Aesvin.

 

I realized that now was the time to really end this situation.

 

* * *

 

“I brought you a present.”

 

Aesvin greeted with a more lively voice than usual and held out the basket she had brought.

 

“Ta-da!”

 

There were lots of orange muffins in the basket.

 

It was something to eat.

 

I noticed it from the scent when Aesvin came in, but my expression became stiff when I saw it with my own eyes.

 

“It’s a cheese muffin. I brought it to eat with you.”

 

The sight of food reminded me of past events.

 

“Come on, try one. It’ll be delicious.”

 

– Prince, are you thirsty?

 

That moment when my maternal uncle gave me poison.

 

“It’s not that sweet. The prince will be able to enjoy it.”

 

– I prepared it myself.

 

The moment I believed and was betrayed.

 

My mind went blank.

 

I know the situation might be different, but my reasoning couldn’t stand it.

 

The words questioning Aesvin came out reflexively.

 

“How do I know if it wasn’t poisonous?”

 

“I’ll prove it!”

 

I just couldn’t believe her, even if she insisted on his innocence.

 

Then Aesvin began to do something ridiculous.

 

“If I eat all of this and nothing happens, it’s not poisoned. Then, trust me.”

 

She ate the muffins as if to prove it.

 

My complacency, which I thought she would eat one or two to show off, was quickly broken.

 

She shoved the muffins into her mouth, looking like she was dying of pain.

 

“Stop eating.”

 

“No, I’ll eat everything.”

 

Aesvin ate continuously as she turned pale.

 

“I told you to stop eating.”

 

“Three left.”

 

“Now, ha–”

 

My protests reached the tip of my tongue.

 

“It’s all right. There are two left.”

 

“I’ve eaten everything. I’m fine, right? It’s not poisoned!”

 

When Aesvin ate the last muffin with tears in her eyes, I felt more choked up.

 

“Ueeek!”

 

And sure enough, Aesvin couldn’t stand it and vomited everything.

 

I couldn’t help but stare at her with a pale face.

 

“Ueek. This. Ueek. It’s not because of poison. Eeek!”

 

Aesvin explained that it was not poisoned even though she was suffering from vomiting.

 

Until she fainted.

 

Only after Aesvin passed out did I come to my senses.

 

I couldn’t show this to others, so I cleaned everything myself.

 

I couldn’t take her clothes off, so I just washed off the dirt on her face and then called a maid to change her clothes.

 

I laid her down on the bed and called the doctor.

 

I know the two of them would go to Empress Isabelle and tell her everything.

 

I couldn’t just leave Aesvin fainted like this.

 

The doctor, who briefly listened to my explanation and examined her, diagnosed that it was a sudden illness due to overeating.

 

I took the medicine and sent the doctor out.

 

Finally, I sent someone to convey the message about this situation to Count Samuel.

 

I did everything I could.

 

Aesvin looked distraught and struggling in a dazed condition.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

 

“Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry–”

 

“Ugh, really … uh, uh … no, it’s not poison. Well, that’s not it.”

 

“Heuk, I’m so sorry……. Why would I, heeung, only me, heeeong.”

 

“Eeok, eok, now, ouch, what do I do? …. Heok, mother.”

 

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“Heok, I’m sorry. It’s not poison. Heeung.”

 

The bright person wept bitterly and expressed her injustice, then she repeatedly apologized.

 

I was the one who felt sorry.

 

I didn’t mean to do this.

 

I didn’t want this to happen.

 

I was just afraid.

 

But now I know.

 

The moment Aesvin gave me food, my uncle came to mind because I trusted her.

 

Unknowingly, I believed her sincerity because of her brightness and consistency for a year, so I just turned away more intensely because I thought I wouldn’t be able to bear it if the same thing happened again.

 

 

It was unbearable that I was the one who got Aesvin into her predicament.

 

I covered her eyes with my palm for fear her eyes would be crushed from crying so much.

 

“I am so sorry.”

 

That apology was all I could do.

 

“I’m really sorry.”

 

Shortly thereafter, Count Samuel who was contacted sent a person.

 

“My lady! Why did my lady faint? What’s going on?”

 

I explained the situation to a person who was Aesvin’s nanny and handed the medicine given by the doctor.

 

The nanny thanked me and hurried off with Aesvin.

 

After sending Aesvin like that, I didn’t feel relieved for a while.

 

I couldn’t visit and couldn’t say hello.

 

Because I’m the one who made her like that.

 

Because I didn’t deserve it.

 

While having an anxious time, a letter finally arrived from Aesvin.

 

[Dear Prince Luciano.

 

It’s been a long time since I last wrote to you.

 

I should have sent you a letter of apology and gratitude in advance, but please forgive me for contacting you now because I’m not feeling well.

 

First of all, I would like to thank you.

 

Thank you for sending me to my mansion after I fall unconscious.

 

And I apologize for the inconvenience caused by my unnecessary gifts.

 

There were really no impure intentions.

 

I’m really sorry for showing you a bad side that day.

 

I hope you can erase the terrible incident from your memory and have a peaceful day.

 

Lastly, I’m very sorry for bothering you so much all this time.

 

I don’t know what the prince would think, but I was rather happy while we spent time together.

 

In the meantime, if there are any things that have offended the Prince, I hope you will understand them with a generous heart.

 

I won’t be bothering you from now on.

 

From Aesvin Samuel, who has a hard time raising her head for being sorry.]

 

She said she would never visit again.

 

I reread the letter repeatedly, and then I picked up the pen to write back again and again.

 

In the end, however, I failed to write down a reply.

 

Knowing that I gave her unforgettable bad memories.

 

It must have been a great wound to her if a kind person like her had turned away.

 

I regret it, but I’m sorry.

 

‘This is better.’

 

From the beginning, I was supposed to distance myself from Aesvin.

 

It was also a mistake to drag on for a year.

 

I had to do it for her sake.

 

It would be difficult for a while, but I thought I had to endure it.

 

Without knowing that there was another mistake I had committed against Aesvin.

 

* * *

 

“I’m here to deliver a message that you are invited to attend a spring tea party at Empress Isabelle’s palace garden in a week.”

 

It was enough not to ask who it was.

 

The messenger was Empress Isabelle’s maid, who often snooped around my palace.

 

“Then I will go back.”

 

The maid went back without hearing my answer.

 

Of course, I had no right to refuse.

 

A prince who was ignored even by a maid.

 

That was my situation.

 

Unfortunately, Empress Isabelle helped me not to forget that situation.

 

The unwanted time came in a flash.

 

When I arrived at the tea party, I had no choice but to stop at the entrance.

 

‘Aesvin…?’

 

I didn’t expect she would be here.

 

I thought she wouldn’t be able to attend because she was not feeling well.

 

‘I thought she wouldn’t come, even if it were because she didn’t want to see me.’

 

Aesvin sat alone, unlike the other children.

 

It was at the table where I was supposed to sit.

 

It seemed like Empress Isabelle’s intention.

 

I couldn’t get in easily.

 

Could I meet Aesvin like this?

 

‘You’ll feel burdened to see me….’

 

So while I spent time at the entrance, I saw everything that happened to Aesvin.

 

“Hey, Betty–”

 

People ignored Aesvin.

 

“Hey, I want to ask–”

 

Someone who avoided Aesvin even when she talked to her.

 

After a while, Aesvin sat alone and dazed.

 

My whole body trembled when I understood her situation.

 

It was a different level of coldness than when I was bullied.

 

I ended up making her a loner.

 

Because I wanted to taste Aesvin’s warmth, even for a little, just for my selfishness.

 

I took the people around her away.

 

I plunged her into the despair of loneliness.