I Thought I Was The Main Character - Chapter 8

I was again engrossed in eating muffins.

As if emptying the basket was the goal, I hurriedly ate muffins.

“Do you think I’ll trust you with that?”

I know I was pathetic for my ignorance.

“I can’t help it.”

“What?”

“It’s the only thing I can do right now.”

He didn’t speak anymore. I was eating muffins again.

My chest was tight. I didn’t know if it was because of the muffin’s dryness or how he looked at me.

I just swallowed and swallowed again.

In the meantime, no matter how bold I was, Prince Luciano looked at me indifferently or pathetically.

Even that part felt like a buff that I got as the female protagonist.

In this social system, my reckless behaviors were tremendously disrespectful.

Prince Luciano was currently putting up a wall, and I believed I was slowly infiltrating it.

But I was wrong.

It was the first time Prince Luciano had ever expressed such sad emotions.

The threat of poisoning was an area that he couldn’t tolerate.

It was simple when I thought about it.

Could a person be relaxed in a life-threatening situation?

I wonder if I could live as if someone was trying to kill me.

No matter how young you were, you didn’t know your opponent’s real crisis and hostility.

No, because I was young, I had to be more sensitive and sharp.

I was foolish to take the whole situation lightly.

It was fiction to me.

I didn’t find this life that difficult.

Prince Luciano will survive anyway, becoming the world’s strongest man.

What happened to him was nothing more than a device to add to the novel’s fun.

I mean, I existed as a spectator.

This was my obvious mistake.

My manner would have seemed deceitful for a desperate man who tried to avoid death.

Prince Luciano has been surviving day by day.

So I guess my behavior was just pretentious.

My smile every day was so light that he wouldn’t have believed me.

What do you believe and trust in such a person?

It was selfish to say that he didn’t believe in me. I didn’t approach Prince Luciano honestly in the first place.

In the meantime, I have only expressed my feeling selfishly and arrogantly.

It felt like a dry muffin stuck in my throat.

The muffin was a bread that made my stomach full after eating just one piece.

After eating the third one, I was so full that I gasped out.

It was as if the muffin I had swallowed stuck in my chest.

However, I endured Prince Luciano’s cold gaze and continued to eat muffins.

I was anxious because I didn’t know what he was thinking.

Because he had a cold face the whole time as if he was wearing a mask.

He just looked at me.

I did the only thing I could do.

I swallowed every bite of the muffin I couldn’t eat without hesitatingly.

By the time I reached the fourth, it had become difficult to eat as my limit was approaching.

But I kept chewing on the muffin.

Belatedly, I realized that this was ‘reality’ after experiencing agony.

It wasn’t just a novel, and I was also a part of this place.

I didn’t realize it until almost a year after I possessed this novel.

This was reality. It was my life.

Suddenly, I felt sad and scared.

I was late to worry about whether it would be okay to live in this world.

The excitement of being possessed disappeared, a sense of hopelessness and helplessness came, filled me with tears.

But I didn’t let my tears fall.

If an already annoying person cried, it would look even worse.

I swallowed a wet muffin soaked in emotion, a mixture of guilt felt towards Prince Luciano and a sense of reality that had just come.

As I ate muffins without stopping, my stomach was upset.

The complex emotions that one couldn’t define and the muffins swallowed beyond the limits were mixed, and something came up from within.

And the fewer the muffins, the more resentment piled up.

‘Why, of all things, did I choose muffins?’

Cookies or something like that would make me less full.

My throat was clogged, but I had a hard time because my stomach felt like it would explode.

Even after eating hard, several muffins were still left in the basket.

‘Why did I work so hard?’

I should’ve brought two, so we could eat one each.

It was tough to empty the basket.

My stomach was about to burst, but Prince Luciano’s gaze caught my eyes, and I couldn’t stop.

Why did I get possessed, why did I pack a lot of muffins, and why did I make the situation like this?

All kinds of emotions piled up and saddened me.

I was holding on not to shed tears, but gradually my body was betraying my will.

“Stop eating.”

Perhaps he had noticed that I was constantly eating, but at last, Prince Luciano said something to stop me from doing so.

But I couldn’t obey his words.

“No, I’ll eat everything.”

I already ate them all and only three left.

It was a waste to have eaten so far to stop here.

Of course, because I was at my limit, I could have been easily taken in by Prince Luciano’s words.

But then, his doubts wouldn’t be resolved entirely.

Now I may look pitiful for him and move on.

But deep down, he might have suspected, ‘Was there poison in the leftovers?’

I will try my best to prove my innocence.

I continuously ate while suppressing my stomach ache.

“I told you to stop eating.”

“Three left.”

“Now, ha–”

“It’s all right. There are two left.”

After swallowing it all, I picked up the last muffin, and Prince Luciano glared fiercely.

But I didn’t have time to pay attention to his gaze.

I ate muffins desperately because it was my absolute limit.

I felt nauseous from overeating, and my eyes were blurry.

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It felt like my head was hurting.

I couldn’t believe overeating was so scary.

Although my stomach was churning and I was constantly being beaten up, the nerves in my body were strangely racing.

I thought I would be in trouble if I ate more, but I couldn’t give up on the remaining one.

I swallowed it because I thought eating this alone would relieve my injustice.

I pushed my cheeks and chewed them.

Prince Luciano’s expression was distorted as the muffins disappeared into my mouth.

I managed to swallow the muffin in my mouth with an absurd, frustrated look.

Gulp!

The last big lump dawdled through my throat.

I was so full that I held back my tears and said I was innocent.

“I’ve eaten everything. I’m fine, right? It’s not poisoned!”

I was speaking confidently and then closed my mouth.

Instinctively, I realized I was in trouble.

‘I can’t stand this.’

It wasn’t something I could put up with by my will!

A cold sweat ran down my back.

I wanted to run out right away, but I thought I would be in big trouble if I moved.

The moment I met Prince Luciano’s eyes, he seemed puzzled because I suddenly stopped talking.

I knew I shouldn’t, but my body betrayed my will.

“Ueeek!”

With a roar, muffins flowed back from my body.

Prince Luciano’s face hardened as he saw it in front of him.

This wasn’t it!

At that moment, I didn’t know why, but the first thing I thought was that he would misunderstand me when he saw me.

Amid my upset stomach, I desperately poured out explanations.

“Ueek. This. Ueek. It’s not because of poison. Eeek!”

Prince Luciano’s brow was frowned upon by my earnest excuse.

I felt that everything was ruined by the hateful gaze.

This would remain more clearly in his memory than what I have ever built up until now.

“Really. Ueek. It’s not poison. Ugh!”

And I couldn’t think anymore.

This was because the vomit of muffins has become more serious.

Muffins kept coming over and made me wonder if the muffins perhaps had replicated in my body.

I wanted to run away, but it couldn’t stop coming up.

Tears and runny nose poured out of a painful sensation.

Prince Luciano was looking at all my miserable condition.

Fortunately, it was a complicated situation, and there was no time to think about shame.

I vomited over and over again, and in the end, I fainted because I ran out of energy.

***

My stomach churned like crazy, and the world seemed blurry.

I felt like I was lying down, but I couldn’t move my fingertips.

I feel like I’m floating.

So I couldn’t tell if I was awake or dreaming.

‘Why am I doing this?’

My stomach hurt as if my intestines were twisted, and my throat felt like it was about to rip.

There was a buzzing sound in my head as if several flies were moving around.

Then my last memory flashed by.

My terrible mistake.

‘You’re crazy….’

Then I remembered the reason I made that mistake.

A genuine mistake I made.

I was so busy explaining that I couldn’t even apologize.

I seemed could see Prince Luciano’s sad face.

‘Was it not? Did I see it right?’

Prince Luciano’s stiff face floated in the dim light.

My eyes were blurry, and I didn’t know if it was an illusion or if it was really looking at me.

I clapped my lips desperately.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

I really didn’t mean to deceive him.

To protect myself, I denied reality and acted my own way.

It was all because I was foolish and selfish.

I cried because I was so sorry that I kept hurting others without realizing it.

“Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry–”

Did my mind and soul become younger because my body became younger?

I felt sorry for myself for not being considerate of him as a child.

I regretted why I acted so pathetic.

Once I burst into tears, it was like a faucet.

Tears streamed down my eyes.

I cried and apologized as if I were about to burst into despair and guilt.

I seemed to have cried for a long time and only said sorry.

The thought about poison came to mind belatedly.

“Ugh, really … uh, uh … no, it’s not poison. Well, that’s not it.”

When I said it out loud, talking about poison was really embarrassing.

I hated being misunderstood like that.

This time, I messed around and repeatedly said, “It’s not poison.”

“Heuk, I’m so sorry……. Why would I, heeung, only me, heeeong.”

Then I became resentful of why I was possessed.

The pain made everything sad.

“Eeok, eok, now, ouch, what do I do? …. Heok, mother.”

I was worried about my life in the future.

How do I live now?

I was scared, what should I do?

I was so sorry, what should I do?

“Heok, I’m sorry. It’s not poison. Heeung.”

I felt resentful and cried like a child, but repeated only an apology and the words that it wasn’t poison.

Then the fever rose, and I became more and more dazed.

I was exhausted and had no energy to speak, and I didn’t shed any more tears because my eyes were dry.

I closed my eyes as I let my body sink in.

At the end, I felt a warmth in my burning eyes.

Feeling the touch of someone else’s hand, I released the last string of my consciousness.