I Want To Be Your First – R19 - Chapter 108

Persuading someone that disliked you that you were a good person was rather tiring. Therefore, Ariel frequently chose to avoid those who hated her.

However, even if she didn’t like Ruth, she had to face him everyday. In the end, getting closer was the best way…

“Ruth. I’m just, I’m just saying.”

A small, resigned smile appeared on Ariel’s face.

“Although what I’m saying is rather ridiculous, the saying that you’ll get cursed when you touch a blind person, that you’ll die… Nothing that terrible would ever happen. So I hope that you won’t be too unreasonable with me.”

Ruth raised his head and made eye contact with Ariel. Astonishment danced in his red eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not that unlucky of a person.”

She spoke as gently as possible to avoid misinterpretation. But Ruth tilted his head and clicked his tongue.

“What does being blind have to do with being unlucky?”

“Well, Ruth told me she was unlucky when we first met.”

“What’s that…wait a minute.”

Ruth held up a palm like he was preventing her from speaking, and groaned before looking at Ariel with a speechless face.

“Ah… Ah! That’s right! At that time, she was wondering what nonsense you were spouting, a superstition about being cursed and what not!”

“Uhhm.”

“No, forget the curses… Do you embrace people for something as trivial as that?”

What is it? At his unfamiliar reaction, she felt like things seemed to be going in the wrong direction.

Ariel averted her gaze and stammered, “No, it’s…” Ruth sighed loudly. He then scanned Ariel up and down with a fierce gaze.

“It doesn’t matter whether you can see or not, just don’t approach me like that next time.”

Ruth, who downed the tea in one go, set down the tea cup heavily and mumbled something faintly.

The emotions in his voice didn’t seem to be directed at Ariel, but someone else, and Ariel looked at his chest uncomprehendingly with a subtle expression.

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She didn’t do anything wrong, and he said that he didn’t believe in those superstitions and curse, so why did Ruth hate her so much?

The person that relieved Ariel’s doubts was someone completely unexpected.

“There’s a rumour that he has mysophobia.”

“…Mysophobia?”

Vieta, who was in the midst of giving dictation, continued while rubbing the paper with her fingertips.

“Yes, he cleaned up the room he’s staying in personally and said he didn’t need any of the servants… The most decisive evidence is, the other day, Jude spilled water on him the other day while preparing for the bath. She was about to use a towel to wipe it off, but he got really mad and didn’t allow her to touch him.”

“Heok…is that so?”

“Yes, the room is dust-free and everything he used was placed in an orderly manner. All the chairs and stools have to be returned back to their original places. Isn’t that called mysophobia? At first, we thought that he just likes to clean things, but when they saw that he hated having contact with others, everyone wondered if he had mysophobia.”

“Ah, ahh! Right, right…! That’s why!”

‘That’s why! So that’s why!’

After coming to a realisation, Ariel fiddled with her fingers clumsily.

So the reason he held hostility towards her from the beginning was because she asked if he wanted to sit together.

No, that wasn’t it. He said that he was fine and didn’t want to sit down. She’d misunderstood, thinking that he didn’t like her.

So… she suddenly hugged him. .

That’s why he hated her.

That’s what he meant when he said not to come close to him like that next time. If he was truly mysophobic…

‘Oh gosh. Did I do something wrong?’

At the series of realisations, Ariel scratched her cheek with an embarrassed look on her face.

If he didn’t like being touched, there must be a lot of inconveniences. With such a fastidious personality, how did he become the head of the Bluebird Falcon or the Birdblue Falcon?

‘He seemed to be on good terms with Mother-in-law, so was it alright if she touched him?’

Even if she contemplated it, the person in question wasn’t in front of her, so she wouldn’t gain a response. As she thought about asking if he truly had mysophobia tomorrow when they met, Ariel inadvertently turned her gaze towards the sky.

Even after a long time passed in the evening, the sky was still dyed red by the crimson sunset and couldn’t shake off the remnants of the day.

Ariel, who was seated by the window and wiggling her fingers, suddenly raised her head and turned her gaze towards Vieta.

“Right, Vieta, what time is it now?”

“Now? It’s… It’s slightly past eight ten.”

After checking the time, Vieta got up and slowly organised the pens and papers. As she kept giving vague hints after asking about the time twice a day, Vieta quietly left the room with a smile.

As if she had been waiting, Ariel rushed towards the dressing room and took out the old ring that was hidden in a corner of her jewellery box. After putting the ring on, she cleared her voice and pressed her finger on the protruding jewel.

“…ahem, hem, hem.”

She cleared her voice and pondered over what she should say first. Although she had been conversing for a few days, and had gotten used to wearing the ring, it still took quite a lot of courage for her to be the first to broach a conversation.

Whenever she wore the ring, she was quite nervous because of the ambiguity that she wouldn’t feel when having a conversation in person, such as the timing of the answer and whether she could cut off his words.

As she was choosing what to say, a low sound flowed into her head, along with the sound of the waves.

“Hello.”

Shortly afterwards, a low laugh followed the question, “Can you hear me?”

“There’s a full moon. Can you see it from there?”

“…Uh…!”

“It’s a little late. What were you doing?”

“Count! D—dinner, no, there, uh… I’ve been tuning the lyre!”

It wasn’t wrong, as she was tuning the lyre beside Vieta. She spoke stammeringly, but managed to reply to his words, and his chuckle deepened slightly. Ariel’s stiff mouth relaxed as she listened to his pleasant-sounding laugh.

“Lyre. That’s good. There was also a harpist on the ferry, but they’re no match for your performance. It was hard to listen to, so I just left.”

She had thought the sound of the waves was especially loud, was it because they came out to the deck? Ariel listened to the sound of the waves and unconsciously moved the ring nearer to her mouth.

“What were you doing, Count? There’s still a long way to go, right?”

“No matter what… It’s a long way off, so it’ll take another week’s journey. Although it isn’t a place that she couldn’t go, I feel a little lonely as I’m here by myself. It’s a little annoying to have to meet people whenever the ship docks.”

Originally, he would have headed straight to the North using the County’s gallion, but disregarding the nobles that have asked about his recent status has also reached its limit.

As such, Berthwald decided to gather the Southern aristocrats on luxury ferries in the form of a year-end party, to complete socialising and backlog work at the same time.

Despite quitting as the chief consul, Berthwald was busy all day. With the threat of sticking them together, other than when it’s time for meals and tea, he spent most of his time confined to the office.

All the work related to the Assembly was handed over to Pelman, but he still had the position of the Imperial commissioner of Rach and Advisor for Military Affairs as there wasn’t any talent that he could pass it on to. While he was busy with work, the thought of socialising was naturally placed on the back burner, so he planned to take this opportunity to stop at the eastern part and the capital and show up briefly when the nobles gathered.

He didn’t face any difficulties in his work, and always wore an impeccable mask of a noble, but he would often act like a spoiled child in front of Ariel. After he concluded his words with a sigh, Ariel, as expected, replied worriedly.

“You sound tired. Are you eating properly? The Count works too hard.”

“If the aide hears that, he’ll probably grab the back of his neck and faint, you know? Recently, I’ve been getting criticised for working half-heartedly. I’ve been trying my best… Still, my efforts have paid off, since Madam is worried about me.” 

“The Count goes to bed late, and he wakes up earlier than I do everyday. How can I not worry?”

With a light exhale, a deep voice raised a question.

“Are you worried about me?”

“Of course I’m worried.”

“Why?”

“We’re family. The count is my husband, and if my eyes get better.”

“If they get better?” 

“…You’ll become the father of little Berrys.”

She’d pretended to be nonchalant as she continued speaking, but his voice was cut off immediately.

She called, “Count? Count?” for a long while and didn’t get a response. Did he drop the ring, was he in a bad mood, as she became nervous, a hushed voice spoke.

“I’d only understood that feelings are capable of fluctuating up and down in an instant after I’ve fallen for Madam. These days, I’ve clearly felt that there isn’t any limit to its degree. I’m always grateful to Madam for helping me reach heaven without dying.”

Ariel was tormented by the sudden appearance of words that she couldn’t understand, that didn’t have any context. In any case, it seems like he’s in a good mood, so Ariel laughed and said, “Oh, what are you saying?”

“Madam, do you know?”

After a moment of silence, Berthwald spoke amusedly.

“I pretended to be very diligent so that you’ll worry about me. I like sleeping in and hate waking up early.”

“Oh. Is that so?”

“Do you think it’s the truth or that it’s a lie?”

“It’s a lie, isn’t it? How can a person that likes to sleep in wake up so early every day?”

“I was caught,” said Berthwald with a low-pitched laugh.

“Other people’s worries are meddling, but why do I feel so good when Ariel worries about me? You always worry about me, without any pause.” 

A low laugh broke off and continued again. she felt like she took her hand off the ring for a moment because she was laughing. Ariel, who was chewing his lower lip, smiled with a naughty look.

“If you liked my worrying, I should have followed you, right?”

“What?”

“I’m really good at nagging at others’ side. If I kept following the Count around and nagging you, would you be happy about my worrying?”

She was interrupted momentarily.

“That would’ve been rather cute.”

After a short silence, the voice that followed was much lower than before.

“If possible, could you do that in bed? I was disappointed because you kept holding back your voice.”

Ariel’s cheeks flushed as the embarrassing sentence penetrated into her ears.