I Want To Be Your First – R19 - Chapter 81

Berthwald stood there, staring intently at the ship. The sight of him staring at it with a blank expression on his face gave an impression of a child that had lost his mother, making him seem pitiful.

 

As Vion watched him from behind, he bit his lip to hide his nervousness. Despite that, the image of his master being dazed was frustrating, so he opened his mouth without realising it.

 

“Count.”

 

Berthwald turned his head to look at him. Unlike his confused mind, his face was quite calm.

 

“What?”

 

“It won’t be long till it’s time for departure.”

 

“…Right.”

 

Vion lowered his head slightly and whispered, as if he was revealing a great secret.

 

“If you miss it now, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

 

It was an extremely childish sentence that wasn’t even used in the classics. Berthwald responded with a bitter smile.

 

“Me? Or Ariel? Shouldn’t you be able to tell who exactly is the subject?”

 

Although it was a question asked in return flippantly, Berthwald already knew in his mind who was the one that would regret it.

 

In the end, the person that falls in love first loses.

 

As if he knew everything, Vion smiled and gently squeezed Berthwald’s shoulder. With a groan, Berthwald slapped away his hand, and brushed his shoulder for nothing. In the end, after a threat to not do that again, Vion quietly retreated.

 

He took a deep breath and started walking again. The harsh shouting from sailors and the squawking from the seagulls brushed past his ears along with the lukewarm sea breeze that brushed his face gently.

 

As his pace increased, the small figure of the ship gradually grew in size and filled his vision.

 

‘What if she has already boarded the ship?’

 

‘Ah, as the Commissioner, I can board with a rough excuse that I have something to search for.’

 

‘What should I say when we meet?’

 

‘I miss you, why did you want to leave, why did you bring up a divorce, and were you hurt…’

 

The flood of questions that appeared in his mind caused him to become confused. As he looked around, the things he wanted to say ran across his mind. Just like that, he glanced at the stairs without giving it much thought.

 

“…Found you.”

 

Her bluish tinged ebony hair fluttered in the wind. The white cane in her hand, her small stature and her habit of hesitating a moment with every movement.

 

Her face was covered with a white bonnet, and even if he could barely see her, he could recognise with a glance that the woman holding the cane was clearly Ariel.

 

Perhaps because she was about to board the ship, Ariel was ascending the steps with her maid’s assistance. All of the sudden, she slowly turned her head and looked in Berthwald’s direction.

 

Their eyes met.

 

Time also stopped at that moment.

 

It wasn’t an illusion.

 

Those gray eyes were looking at him dazedly. While she wasn’t able to see properly, in this crowd… from such a distance.

 

She was only staring at him.

 

A twinkle flickered in her clouded gray eyes. Ariel slowly turned her torso and was completely looking at him. Her hat was raised high, and her face filled with longing was fully exposed under the southern sunlight.

 

Staring at him with round eyes, Ariel’s chest moved slightly as she opened and closed her lips.

 

“Count…”

 

Although it was a small cry, it was impossible for him to not hear it.

 

“Ariel.”

 

Her name appeared from his lips like a moan.

 

She obviously couldn’t hear him, but Ariel smiled broadly as if she had understood. They tried to face each other with a smile, but their stiff cheeks twitched without moving.

 

Red peach-coloured cheeks, and a smiling mouth. The small reflections of light in her curved eyes… all of that…

 

It was so dazzling that he couldn’t use the modifier ‘beautiful’ to describe it…

 

How long have they been looking at each other?

 

As her lips opened and closed a couple of times, Ariel grabbed the hem of her skirt abruptly. The ticket and the white cane in her hand fell to the floor unnoticed.

 

Leaving behind her maid that was trying to dissuade her, Ariel started running towards him with a faltering gait.

 

“…Ha.”

 

Even in the midst of this serious situation, he couldn’t suppress the burst of laughter that welled up.

 

The self-esteem and pride that had supported Berthwald so far, and his belief to influence instead of being the one that was influenced, that became ironclad shackles around his heart, crumbled.

 

Just by seeing that face once, that easily…

 

Although he wanted to continue running away from the fact, now, he had to admit it. The owner of his heart wasn’t him, but that woman.

 

She was the driving force that kept him alive.

 

He clenched his teeth, his vision shook, and he was already running without his realisation.

 

‘Silly girl. What if you trip and fall?’

 

No, that’s not it. If she was going to run over like this as soon as she saw him, she wouldn’t have left in the first place.

 

The anxiety that encased his heart shattered, leaving joy to spread gently in its wake.

 

He moved his feet harder. The fast pace of his heartbeat seemed to act as a fireworks signalling the happiness of their reunion. With both hands outstretched, he stepped onto the wooden plank connecting to the pier.

 

Just then.

 

Thump!

 

A terrifying sound reached his ears.

 

Before he could take the next step, his body fell.

 

══ ⋆♬⋆ ══

 

The expressions on Ariel’s face disappeared.

 

Strangely, the more urgent the situation was, the slower the clock moved. The moment the wooden plank broke and Berthwald fell into the sea, time seemed to pass at an extremely slow speed.

 

He disappeared from her sight along with the sound of a splash. The time that was slowed now passed quickly, and Ariel understood everything immediately.

 

That bizarre dream. A precognitive dream that was different from usual.

 

The protagonist from that dream wasn’t her, but Berthwald. And that moment was right now.

 

“Didn’t I just tell you about it? Natives here that can’t swim aren’t treated like people. But in the mansion… I heard that there’s someone that can’t swim.”

 

‘That person just had to be…!’

 

There was no time for her to think twice. Forgetting the fact that she was wearing a heavy dress, Ariel tossed her bonnet away and jumped straight into the sea.

 

Bubbles obscured her vision. She opened her unseeing eyes wide and hurried to find Berthwald.

 

While it was good that she jumped in gallantly to save him, not long later, Ariel regretted that she had done something unnecessary.

 

For her to jump into the sea with her blind eyes was no different from plunging herself into bottomless darkness. Of course, she could still recognise directions where there was still light, but she couldn’t see anything in deep locations.

 

It wasn’t just that she couldn’t see anything. Other than that problem, there were a few others, the first being that while she has swam in shallow rivers, she had never swum in such a murky sea. The second was that she didn’t have enough strength to raise Berthwald.

 

Other than the air bubbles that were floating past her, it was pitch dark. She moved her arms and reached in the direction he could be at, but she only grasped at cold waves. Adding on to that was her heavy layered dress that was caught in her ankles.

 

She struggled hard to free her feet. The body that she thought would float a little slowly began to sink downwards.

 

‘Oh my God.’

 

‘I thought that the sea would be easier to swim in… Why is it like this?’

 

Far from saving him, fear that she might drown like this and die took over.

 

She tried hard to stay calm and moved her limbs.

 

Slowly, slowly.

 

She looked upwards at the light and tried hard to swim. Even in such a situation, Ariel didn’t forget to look around her for Berthwald.

 

Brrr.

 

Foam gathered and headed upwards.

 

She felt like she was suffocating. At this rate, she would run out of air reaching the surface.

 

Ah, the precognitive dream…

 

The Count wasn’t the only one in danger. She was also in danger, so that’s why she was looking at her through the Count’s eyes.

 

‘Is the Count okay?’

 

‘I should have jumped after taking off my dress.’

 

‘What should I do? Just what…’

 

She let out her last breath. Just as her eyelids closed and her body was about to lose strength.

 

A large hand grabbed her waist suddenly.

 

Someone hugged her and started to move rapidly towards the surface. The tightly pressed upper body gave her a slightly familiar feeling.

 

As Ariel drowsily entrusted her body to the other person, she realised that the heavy upper body that crushed her in bed and the one holding her belonged to the same person.

 

Wasn’t the Count unable to swim?

 

‘…How?’

 

‘Am I dreaming right now?’

 

Her body rose to the surface as fast as it had taken her to jump into the water. Coughs immediately leaked out as soon as her head appeared from the water. Before she could even catch her breath, her body floated upwards again.

 

“Madam! Are you all right!”

 

A familiar voice entered her ear, and it wasn’t long hands lifting her, but a larger and thicker hand that lifted Ariel’s body upwards.

 

A large stature  and a familiar scent. It was Vion, his bodyguard.

 

The thought of surviving was only momentarily, as Ariel took a rough breath and grabbed a corner of Vion’s shirt.

 

“Vi–on! Co, Count, please, save him…!”

 

Vion looked down at Ariel with a puzzled expression on his face, before slowly moving his gaze over her shoulder. Just then, the voice she longed for echoed in her ear.

 

“I’m here.”

 

With a splash of water, Berthwald appeared on the pier.

 

He leisurely climbed up the pier and combed the drooping strands of his hair backwards, while standing in front of Ariel composedly. After roughly shaking the dripping water droplets away, he took off the jacket that was constricting his upper body.

 

Her joy that he was safe was also short-lived. Ariel stared bewilderedly at the red silhouette.

 

“How… Count, I heard that you can’t swim?”

 

“What are you talking about? Did you perhaps… jump in after me to save me?”

 

“Yes…”

 

“No, what do you mean, help? How can a blind person jump into the water? Do you know how shocked I was?”

 

“I– I know how to swim! So I was trying to save you…!”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

The two of them, who were huffing and puffing, shut their mouths at the same time. In the place of the conversation that dying were eyes filled with complex emotions, such as anger and blame.

 

They didn’t expect such a reunion.

 

The slight anger quickly volatilised, leaving worries and concern behind, as they stared at each other. Although both felt the same way, they couldn’t open their mouths hastily in an ambiguous atmosphere.

 

“…Ariel.”

 

“…”

 

“Enough of that, and raise your head. Let me see if you’re hurt anywhere.”

 

The first one to surrender was Berthwald. He bent his knees to look at Ariel in the eye, and held her head to tilt it in around.

 

Berthwald observed Ariel’s body keenly, before asking Vion to bring a blanket and a towel. He then reached his hand and lifted Ariel.