I Want To Be Your First – R19 - Chapter 82

Ariel only realised that she was in his arms belatedly, before blushing. The hand that was brushing hair that was stuck on her cheek to the back of her ear, and the heat from the palm that was supporting her waist, were very new.

“I–I didn’t know… that you’d come.”

When she murmured in a voice the size of a mosquito, she felt Berthwald’s body stiffen. Ariel held the hem of her damp dress tightly and continued to stutter her words out.

“I thought… you’d just… divorce me like that…”

Her mouth was dry. Although she was happy enough to run over, she didn’t know what she should say.

‘No, what can I say? I was the one who asked for a divorce first, and ran out of the house.’

An awkward silence hovered between the two. Berthwald was also in agreement with the silence. Just as the sound of water droplets dripping down from her clothes became unpleasant.

“As to why you asked for a divorce…I won’t pry for the reason. Whether it’s your wish to leave, or the deception, I can forgive them both.”

A low voice swept over her head. When she secretly raised her gaze, large ripples could be seen on his red silhouette. Before she would ask why, Berthwald spoke first.

“It’s not that I’m a snobbish person that can’t understand my wife’s whims. As for the divorce, I will divorce you whenever you want. I hope that you’ll enjoy your freedom to the fullest.”

It was spoken in an indifferent voice, which made it difficult to tell what he was thinking. That made it feel more sincere to her.

‘We’re actually getting divorced.’

‘What do you mean, enjoy my freedom?’

Ariel thought that she was fully prepared for his answer, but it was just her opinion. Her originally hopeful heart instantly hardened. Ariel took a step backwards as she bit on her lip.

Just then, the hand holding her by the waist pulled Ariel back into his arms again. Berthwald held her tightly in his arms, and enunciated each syllable strongly.

“Just keep this in mind. It’s not that I’ve accept my wife’s ruling.”

“…What?”

“When I’ve felt that my wife has stabilised to a certain extent, I’ll go and pick you up. When that happens, please marry me again.”

Ariel’s eyes widened as she looked up at Berthwald with an expression that was at a loss of what to say. He was obviously saying something, but she couldn’t understand, so it was hard for her to accept it.

Berthwald raised a finger and gently traced Ariel’s face. Cheeks that have been chilled by the sea breeze, a small nose bridge, a softly curved philtrum and plump lips.

Now, she had a lovely face that he could not let go of.

“From the way you ran over so happily, I don’t think you’re asking for a divorce because you don’t like me. Am I right?”

“…Th, that’s–”

“If it’s hard and painful to be around me… I can let you go momentarily. The fact that a guilty conscience was produced meant that we both care for each other. However…”

He didn’t want to gracelessly confess his feelings when he was looking like a drowned rat.

At the sight of her looking at him dazedly with her mouth opened in surprise, the thought that it was okay arose. He brushed against Ariel’s forehead with his index finger, brushing away the water droplets lightly, before opening his mouth.

“But I can’t let go of you completely. You’ve become too important to me for me to let you go.”

His anxious self was reflected within her gray pupils, that disappeared behind blinks. His easygoingness completely disappeared, leaving behind a bumpkin that was imploring earnestly for love.

What was so good about that inelegant man, that Ariel would stutter with a reddened face?

“I–If you talk like that, I’ll misunderstand.”

“What’s wrong with accepting it as it is? What other strange direction are your thoughts going to head towards?”

“No, that’s! Must the Count have talked in a manner that was like you l–like me…”

Ariel couldn’t continue speaking and shrinked back. The way she looked at others’ mood was insignificant.

It was silly. The situation, himself, and the woman in front of him.

‘D*mn it.’

In such a situation he could only give her his sincerity. It was a complete mess. However, this absurd situation encouraged him to be honest.

Withdrawing the amusement from his voice, Berthwald spoke in a grave tone.

“Now, I have a suggestion to make… You’d better answer carefully as I won’t take it back.”

His decision to never confess until he heard that she loved him. The pride that he wanted to keep till the end.

He wanted to be compensated for that psychology, because he had already loved her so much.

It was quite funny. While feeling that it should all fade away, he spoke with difficulty.

“When I confess that I love you. If you’re willing to accept me, please give me a hug… If you don’t like it, slap me on the cheek.”

Her quivering gray eyes were greatly distorted. Berthwald continued quickly

“If you give me an embrace, I’ll take you back to the mansion. If you slap me on the cheek, I’ll step down for today. Rest well, as I’ll be invading the Ducal castle in three months.”

“C–Cheeks? How can I, on your cheeks?”

“Do you understand?”

Her lips opened and closed a few times, before closing tightly as if she was at a loss for words. Water slowly gathered between the furrow in her brows.

As Berthwald whispered, he engraved her changing expressions in his eyes.

“I love you, Ariel.”

“…”

“I married you because I like you. Not because you are Princess Aegis, because you are Ariel. It had to be you. You…The thought of someone else other than me beside you is something I can’t stand. That’s why I got married to you.”

“…”

“So, don’t leave. Even if you don’t like me… There is nothing that I can do. I’ll never let you go.”

Her tightly shut mouth trembled. The drooping corners of her mouth twitched again and again, conveying the rise and fall of her emotions. After blinking her eyes a couple of times, the water in her eyes started falling down her cheeks.

With a pouting mouth and raised eyebrows, the way she couldn’t open her mouth was far from the appearance of an elegant lady, from every angle.

Of course, this was better.

Because this was Ariel.

Because Ariel Aegis was such an honest woman that wasn’t noticeable.

“…That, uh, I… I… “

When she closed her eyes tightly, tears streamed down her face. Ariel gasped for air, before uttering a few words.

“S–someone like me. Qualified…the Count is here because of me. I–I’m afraid you’ll lose everything. I–I’m afraid that you’d become a laughingstock… You can’t even serve as consul. Just because of me….”

“I just gave up. I became a consul to get married to you, so now I want to get rid of it now.”

“…You’re just lying like this to make me feel at ease. That’s why… That’s why I hate myself even more… I, I…”

After deciding to postpone the explanations, Berthwald pressed tightly on Ariel’s cheek to urge her for an answer.

“That’s enough. Whether it’s a hug or a slap, make your decision quickly.”

“…Ugh…”

“It’s almost time for the ship to set sail. If it was up to me, I hope that you’ll choose the former…”

Ariel grabbed him by the collar. The moment he lowered his head, his lips were eaten.

While holding Berthwald’s collar tightly with both hands, Ariel rubbed her lower lip hard.

He was surprised by the sudden kiss for a moment, before a laugh escaped from their connected lips. She didn’t even know where his lips were, and just pressed hard on and licked at his lower lip.

He gently held Ariel’s neck. Her clumsy manner of kissing was cute, but his frustration was larger. He positioned her neck skillfully and deepened their kiss.

The familiar scent of lavender flowed through his nose and spreaded deeply in his chest.

‘Oh, I wish I could swallow you like this.’

‘What should I do, with you?’

“What’s this? This is an answer that isn’t within the options.”

As their foreheads were leaning together, he whispered quietly. It was followed by a tearful answer.

“It means that, I l–like you, too, Count…”

Her thin voice in a whisper broke his last strand of reason. Berthwald grasped Ariel’s cheeks in his hands and began to devour her lips.

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The Countess had returned.

It was exactly half a month after she ran away, leaving behind a letter asking for a divorce. The house of Grand Pahar, which was missing their hostess, was filled with melancholic silence.

It was because after they assisted the ill Countess, all of the employees became very affectionate to her. In particular, the head maid Eva that cherished Ariel like she was her own daughter, the butler Leo, and the maids that stayed with her as her close aides, Nicky, Jude and Maria, spent each day grieving as if they had lost the cat they were raising.

Then, the Lord suddenly returned back to the mansion with the Countess in his arms.

The cheers at her return had only lasted for a moment. The three maids fumed, beginning to denounce the traitor who had fled the mansion.

“Vieta! You traitorous girl!”

Jude gave a sideways glance at Vieta, huffing with her hands on her waist. With her arms folded beside her, Maria continued her words.

“Vieta, how could you! No matter how much the Madam wanted to leave, shouldn’t you have stopped her!”

“Are you planning on bringing a sick person out to suffer?”

“Is the North the name of the dog next door? How could you think of going there?!”

Vieta paled at their direct criticisms. Miss, that wasn’t fair. When she gave Nicky, who was standing a distance away, a look asking for help, Nicky stepped forward as if she had been waiting.

“You… After you’re done with work, come to the back of the warehouse.”

Nicky moved her neck left and right as she cracked the knuckles of her fists.

‘You’re the smallest, but why did she give off such an overwhelming presence?’

Vieta raised both of her hands and gave an innocent look.

“Do you think I left because I liked it?”

“They said that you’re the one that wrote the letter too! It was you who made contact with the Young Duke!”

“This little girl, no matter how ignorant you are about the world, don’t you know that all marital fights are like that! Do you know how bloody the atmosphere in the mansion was?”

“No, no…! I had also said no too! But what can I do! She was lying on the floor and wailing!”

The eyes of the angry maids turned into questioning ones that were wondering if her words were the truth. Vieta groaned as she threw her cape, which she wore in the rain, onto the floor.

“I didn’t know why she wanted a divorce! I just thought that they had a fight. The Lord too, if he made it more obvious that he liked her, this probably wouldn’t have happened!”

“…She must have hoped that the Lord would appear. He doesn’t usually express his feelings of like or dislike outwardly.”

“No… An expressionless person that didn’t hesitate to hug and kiss Madam like that in a crowd… !”

She couldn’t continue her words as her face burned up when she tried to speak about it. Vieta sighed and held her forehead.

Even when she recalled it again, everything was really… It was a series of ridiculous situations.