I Was a Good Person, and Then a Lot of Things Betrayed Me - CH 17

It’s July and the cicadas are singing all around us.

In two weeks, there will be a long summer vacation.

Naturally, when that season arrives, even just going home will make my forehead sweat.

I was on my way home in a depressed mood.

“Hey, Yusei.”

Someone called out to me from behind.

Himari, huh?

I’m in a very awkward relationship with Himari right now.

It’s because I’ve shouted out my true feelings.

“What do you want?”

I called out to her without turning around, feeling quite awkward.

If possible, I didn’t want to see Himari now.

I might have another emotional outburst.

Himari didn’t speak immediately, but spoke after a short pause.

“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened after that.”

By “after that,” I assume she is referring to the last time we were together on the way home.

Thinking, about what?

What did you think about?

I asked as I turned around.

Himari releases her words while moving her tightly knit lips.

“I was only thinking about myself, without thinking about Yusei at all.”

What is it now?

What’s the use of thinking like that?

“I’ve been with Yusei for a long time, and I thought I knew Yusei.”

And?

What about it?

“But the truth is, I didn’t understand you at all. The Yuusei who revealed his true feelings is also the real Yusei, but I denied it.”

It’s already too late to mend things, you know?

“But I will never do that again. Because Yusei is still Yusei, even now and in the past. Yusei is my only childhood friend.”

Even if you say that, it doesn’t matter.

“I love the gentle Yusei, and the desperate Yusei now, but Yusei is the same Yusei, and I, you know, I love you.”

Himari’s cheeks are flushed red.

My negative thoughts from earlier turned blank, and instead

I let tears flow from my eyes.

I’ve been crying a lot lately.

The tears were not filled with pain or sadness, but with pure joy.

“Why… why now?”

” I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Himari hugged me tightly from the front.

Her body was trembling.

Is she crying too?

But I didn’t have time to worry about that now.

Various feelings overflowed into me.

Sadness when Himari avoided me, anger when she denied me, emptiness when she cried and ran away.

All of them had been weighing me down like lead until now.

That feeling is as if it is suddenly receding.

“It was hard, painful, and sad.”

To tell the truth, I wish I could have heard those words at that most painful time.

But now, I am saved.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. I yelled at you that time.”

I said the words of apology with Himari hugging me.

“It’s all right. It was my fault that time.”

No, that is not true.

Looking back, I may have just wanted to vent my feelings at that time.

And yet, Himari was seriously worried for me.

I was genuinely happy about that.

“Thank you.”

I could not help but say it, even though she would not understand my true intention.

After all, Himari was tilting her head.

I thought it was funny, and I just blew it out.

I was walking next to her.

It was just like before the relationship broke down.

“H-hey, Yusei!”

I was suddenly called from next to her.

“What is it?”

Himari was bright red from her face to her ears.

Is it really that hot?

“I wonder if my feelings have been conveyed to you?”

Himari ‘s feelings?

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

I asked the question as it was.

“As I said! Uhm I love both the old and the new Yusei…”

Oh, that’s what you mean.

I know exactly what you mean.

“Yes, I know that. It means you were and still love me as a childhood friend, right? Thanks.”

I said, a little embarrassed.

“No that’s not what I mean…”

Himari said something in a whisper, but I couldn’t hear it clearly.

“Hmm? Did you say something?”

“I didn’t! You’re an idiot, Yusei!”

Why?

I was confused.

“Mou! Can’t be helped. Yusei! Be prepared for anything!”

“O-ou?”

I just nodded my head, not understanding what she meant.

“You definitely don’t understand…”

Seeing this, Himari’s shoulders slumped in disappointment.

Really, what is it?

Well, it’s okay.

I was happy to be able to be friends with Himari again.

That made me more happy than anything else.

I said that I no longer care about relationships with people, etc., but I would still be sad if they were gone.

And I think the warmth of people is important.

I think it is too late to realize it now, but I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me realize it.

“Thank you, Himari.”

“You’re welcome?”

Himari answered with a face that looked like it was a little bit too much.

I smiled at her.

Really, thank you.