I Was a Good Person, and Then a Lot of Things Betrayed Me - CH 24
What is it?
I feel like people around me have been paying attention to me a lot lately.
It started before the summer vacation.
What’s going on?
They are all the people who have hurt me.
I don’t understand why they are trying to get in my good mood now.
Well, Seo is an exception.
They still don’t get it, I see?
I don’t want you to care about me.
I want them to accept me as I am.
But recently, I have been thinking about it.
Is it really only the people around me who are at fault?
Was there something wrong with me too?
I thought that I would lose my mind if I admitted it.
[You did nothing wrong.]
I had to seriously consider his existence as well.
My current state may be what most people would call a dual personality, but for some reason, I couldn’t accept it.
Isn’t a dual personality one in which another personality appears on the outside?
And yet, he is only inside me.
I don’t know because I don’t have much knowledge about such things, but I have a feeling that this is different from ordinary dual personalities.
It’s just a feeling.
The reason why I started to have such doubts is because of the incident with Mifuyu yesterday.
I told her at the time that I didn’t need a sister.
Hearing that, Mifuyu went back to her room with tears in her eyes.
While I was staring at Mifuyu’s back, I felt a prickling pain in my chest.
It was not a physical pain, but a mental pain.
I had no idea what the pain was.
[Isn’t it fine. Don’t worry about it.]
That’s what he said, but I couldn’t ignore the pain.
Why? I was at a loss to answer the question, but I instinctively felt that this was something I should not ignore.
It is not only the case with Mifuyu.
It was the same with Himari’s case and Shiraki’s case.
I pretended not to notice the pain and let it pass me by.
But this time, I could not do so.
The pain was too strong.
But even if I think about it now, I can’t find an answer.
Fortunately, I have a lot of time during the summer vacation.
That should be enough time to give an answer.
Maybe I haven’t given up yet.
Involving with people.
But at the same time, I may be afraid of it.
I am afraid that I will get hurt by getting involved with other people.
Recently, the heat has cooled down and I’ve had time to think things over calmly.
Was what I was doing really wrong?
Did the people who were involved with me really not try to understand me?
…..Stop it.
What am I thinking?
It’s not my fault, right?
I feel uncomfortable somewhere even though I think so.
No, don’t worry about it.
I’m sure I’m just imagining things.
Why were they all crying?
What were those tears for?
Whom were they crying for?
Was it a one-sided imposition?
I couldn’t get my thoughts to come together in my head.
Let’s stop.
There is still plenty of time.
I can find the answer during this summer vacation.
That way, I’ll be able to find myself.