I Was a Substitute - Chapter 14

***

 

“Your opponent is the Duke of Tiodurop. Just killing a few people doesn’t make it a problem.”

 

“I have no intention of making it an issue.”

 

“Then why are you searching for the body?”

 

“Flenn isn’t dead. He’s just pretending to be dead and waiting for an opportunity.”

 

“You’re saying he faked his death on purpose?”

 

Blush’s brows narrowed tightly.

 

“You’re half right and half wrong.”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“I learned that there would be an attempt to kill Flenn. I just used that to my advantage.”

 

“How did you know about the plan?”

 

“I told you. I see the future.”

 

Blush was about to say something but stopped.

 

I smiled and continued.

 

“Lend me someone so I can bring Flenn here.”

 

“How does finding him help us?”

 

Blush’s eyes narrowed.

 

“Flenn is a gifted merchant. He adds value without wasting any, and creates profit with it.”

 

“Do you want to play with money?”

 

“You’re not trying to be cocky and say that touching money is a shallow thing, are you?”

 

I shook my head mischievously.

 

Aristocrats like luxury, but they don’t like money.

 

That sentence was contradictory, but it wasn’t too unfamiliar to the nobility.

 

It was something for nobles to spend, not something to hoard.

 

“It would be possible for someone who didn’t look like an aristocrat to be vulgar when their stomach was full.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“That’s why you chose me, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes, that’s right. That’s why I made the choice.”

 

I turned my gaze away.

 

“I believe the basis of all power is money.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like something someone who grew up as a daughter of an aristocrat would say, does it?”

 

“I suppose so. But if you look at it from a mentality standpoint, there’s nothing more basic than money, isn’t it?”

 

I held my glass and stared at Blush.

 

“You have to pay the right amount of money to run a country, fight a war, even have a drink like this.”

 

“…”

 

“Of course, money isn’t everything. But with money comes a better quality of life. You will have to pay more in order to have better food, and things that others do not have.”

 

If I was in front of another nobleman, I wouldn’t be able to make so much noise.

 

But the other party was Blush.

 

“Do you have any information?”

 

Blush picked up the bottle.

 

“There’s a place I’ve decided to leave a message. I’ll write it down for you.”

 

I smiled and held out the empty glass.

 

Perhaps it was because I drank it once before, I could detect the sweetness the second glass had unlike the first time.

 

****

 

I wonder how many glasses I drank.

 

By the end of the meal, I was mildly intoxicated.

 

I drank some cold water to keep the heat from my throat down.

 

“I think it’s time to stop drinking.”

 

“That’s a good idea too. Then I guess it’s time to get up.”

 

The smell of alcohol didn’t disappear even when I drank the water.

 

I shouldn’t have had that last drink, I left the table feeling regretful.

 

I thought it would be better to hurry back to the bedroom before I got more drunk.

 

“Do you need help?”

 

“I’d appreciate it if you would.”

 

“…”

 

“Why are you surprised when you said you’d help me first?”

 

“I thought you would decline.”

 

“…I just realized that it’s harder than I thought to walk in my shoes while drunk.”

 

It’s better to be supported than to fall down in a fit of willpower, isn’t it?

 

I chuckled and held out my hand to Blush.

 

Blush frowned and took my hand.

 

“I thought you were a good drinker because you kept giving me your glass.”

 

“I let my guard down. I’ve never actually been drunk before. And…….”

 

“And what?”

 

“I just wanted to keep drinking. Because drinking makes me feel better.”

 

I didn’t have to force myself to make an expression. I could just smile.

 

I wanted to keep drinking because it made me feel better.

 

I blinked my eyes lazily. My head hurt from the shifting vision.

 

“It’s not as good as I thought it would be, because I drank too much. I’ll try not to drink it next time.”

 

“I think you’d better.”

 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

 

I reached out and grabbed Blush’s arm.

 

I was relieved to find that the man’s arm was as firm as a rock.

 

“Are you uncomfortable?”

 

“….”

 

“If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll ask someone else to help me.”

 

I gulped reflexively. Red color filled my vision. Our distance was narrowed to the point where our noses would touch.

 

“I can smell the alcohol.”

 

“I’ve had my share of alcohol.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

Come to think of it, Blush drank a lot more than I did.

 

I found it strange and enviable that he could drink so much and still maintain a sane mind.

 

“Do you still laugh under such circumstances?”

 

“Did I laugh?”

 

“Yes, you laughed.”

 

His unusually low voice reminded me of a beast.

 

But that was all there was to it.

 

Somewhere along the way I got used to him, and I wasn’t as scared as I was at first.

 

“You’re embarrassed that we share a room.”

 

“That’s because there was a slight misunderstanding. And frankly, you don’t see me as a woman.”

 

“I don’t see you as a woman?”

 

“You don’t have to make things complicated until you’re sure I’m the real thing.”

 

Heirs were an important duty for noble families, but we were in a different position than most couples.

 

Blush still didn’t trust me completely.

 

For him, who was ready to kick me out at any time, having a child was like putting his foot in the pit himself.

 

“It’s okay. I don’t see you as a man either.”

 

“…”

 

“Of course, I don’t want children.”

 

“You don’t want children?”

 

“Yes. I don’t want children.”

 

Blush’s expression became more subtle.

 

Maybe he thought I wanted to have children.

 

Well, that was a normal reaction.

 

Objectively speaking, pregnancy was a good card for me, because in the aristocratic world, having children was no different than having power.

 

But I didn’t want to, or more accurately, I didn’t like it.

 

If I made a child out of necessity, I would be just like someone I knew.

 

“If you don’t believe me, write some additional details in the contract. I don’t mind.”

 

“…”

 

I couldn’t tell what the staring eyes were thinking.

 

I stared at Blush and couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“…Shall I add it?”

 

“…”

 

“I don’t mind.”

 

“No….”

 

I waited for a while before I got a reply.

 

As usual, I couldn’t read what he was thinking from his expressionless face.

 

***

 

In the middle of the night, Blush slowly opened his eyes.

 

During the expedition, we often camped out in rugged places, and more than once he fell asleep to the snoring of the knights, but in reality, it was no different than the animal’s sounds.

 

But this was the first time that we had slept together, alone and so close to each other.

 

Recognizing this fact, he could not sleep well.

 

Eventually, Blush woke up with a deep sigh.

 

When it came down to it, the only factor that interfered with his sleep was the fact that I often slept while sinking down under the covers.

 

He still didn’t know what type of person Symphonia was, even though he had carefully observed her each time.

 

She always exceeded his expectations.

 

He had no idea what to expect when she decided something.

 

“Don’t drink…”

 

The faint voice sounded like it was about to break at any moment.

 

Blush’s eyes narrowed as he gazed at her silhouette in the darkness.

 

He didn’t know what kind of dream he was having, but the woman who could smile when the knife on her neck was now slumped over and crying.

 

“Really, I’m fascinated by strange things.”

 

Blush chuckled.

 

But his gaze was still on Symphonia.

 

Blush slowly removed the blanket that was covering Symphonia’s face.

 

Then, the moan, which was muffled by the blanket, was heard more clearly.

 

“Please……”

 

“What in the world is she dreaming about? Why is she suffering so much?”

 

Blush had to wake Symphonia, who struggled to keep her voice down.

 

In the end, Blush heard it.

 

“Father,” Symphonia spat out bitterly.

 

Blush clicked his tongue.

 

The Duke of Tiodurop, whom Symphonia was calling, was doing very well.

 

He had no intention of looking for a substitute of diminished value.

 

“I just want my own seat.”

 

Then again, she was the one who knew it best.

 

‘You were so reckless in front of me.’

 

Hot breath began to pool in Blush’s mouth.

 

He was somewhat angry.

 

It was then.

 

Symphonia’s tightly closed eyelids quivered.

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

For a moment, their gazes tangled in midair.

 

Blush swallowed dry saliva without realizing it.

 

Her green eyes were smiling at him.