I Was Born The Unloved Twin - 138 Halloweentown AU shorts

Darkness falls across the land. The Midnight Hour is close at hand. You’ve crossed the line, this Hallow’s eve, beyond the veil the day in spells.

Do not fear. The undead won’t be harmed here, usually.

If you’re among the living, alas, if you are a puny pathetic human, maybe fret. Just a bit.

If you simply lost your way, simply turn back the way you came. But if you dare, if you can’t fight it, the long winding path shall lead to wide-open gates. In this upside-down, where it is always…Halloween.

Who am I you ask? You may call me little red, yes yes yes as in little red riding hood. I’ve heard it all before.

And why haven’t I killed you all yet, you may be thinking?

Of course, you’re thinking that. I’m ferocious and terrifying! See my fangs, see them! Also don’t look under the hood, it’s very rude.

Well now, let this be a little secret between us… I used to be a human once.

No no no, don’t look at me with those terrified pitiful eyes. I may be very small but I didn’t die small. This is a very normal size for a monster my age! I’m only about 360 years old…

I understand that’s quite a lot in human years. Again I was one myself, a very long time ago…but that doesn’t matter now. Everyone I knew then is long gone….

Anyways what’s new down in the human realm!? Given that I’m only a little over 360 years old, no one will let me out! Especially my parents, you don’t need to know. I’m toddler locked!

Have you discovered easier space travel yet? Are hoverboards a thing yet? Or did the apocalypse already come? Tell me tell me!

More importantly,did you bring any snacks?

“Found you. Rosa? Who are you talking to?” rustles a small bundled figure from the bushes.

Slightly dirtied linen wrappings from playing outside worn on an otherwise tiny little mummy, mostly all white. It tilts its head in a way that was almost cute, like a stuffed doll, as it seems to sniffs the air. When it blinks through the bandages, you might catch a hint of big puppy dog green eyes under the dark.

“Ack! Don’t scare me like that- you oh never mind, how dare you reveal my noble name to these puny mortals?” I find myself barking. Also, there’s a bit of a breeze behind me.

“Your tail is out, Rosa. It’s wagging lots. You really like humans don’t you?” points out one of my little henchmen.

No one saw that! No one!!!

“Rosalia! This is where you ran off to!? Alfonso is going to run my tail dry if anyone finds out I lost you to the borders again!” chases a relatively neat and cute teenaged boy right behind, all soft cheeks and soft brown fur on his ears and tail. Freshly cleaned and well maintained, probably smelling of soap. Unlike me, his fangs and claws can be fully controlled, but his worry pops them out.

I’m suddenly lifted up into the air. Stinky snack less human hands, grabbing me from the back of my red hood and cloak. They hold me, hostage, as they back away from Georgie, the teenaged were. Who is admittedly the oldest, largest, and probably most intimidating-looking threat. Key work, ‘looking’.

Meanwhile, another one of them grabs Amar, holding the little wrapped boy like an artifact to be stolen.

Which he kinda sorta is, no lie. How much do mummies go for in the human market these days? Especially kid sized ones? He’s only about six centuries old though so it can’t be that much?

Wait how much would I go for?

Baby monsters? Halflings? Well….purebred halfling. My father is a fancy schmancy pureblood old vampire while my mother is a big bad wolf. My grandfather himself is the original big bad wolf. I’m a designer!

Oh poopie, I’m expensive.

Ahhhh they’re bad humans.

Gosh darn it why can’t we ever get some cute adventuring humans with snacks and video games or something?! Guess they never do come to these parts of the woods, especially not on a night like this. Shame.

“M-my y-young miss!” screams a clumsy rag doll, falling over herself in fumbling over.

“Stay back Abbey, they have weapons,” Georgie warns, ears and tail up on high alert.

The human hunters, I shall assume they’re hunters, all keep their eyes on Georgie, deeming him the greatest threat. In the back up, they slowly merge, as if to put Amar and me in some cage and getaway vehicle.

How boring, it doesn’t even hover. Oh, come on it’s been over 300 years since I died in the human realm. Where are my hovercars?!

“Should we do something? Sorry, I know you like humans. ” Amar blinks sleepily as the lock us up.

From under the little mummy’s wraps and clothes, a little noodle, a tiny snake, pops its head out to slither away like a tiny messenger. Well at least we’re somewhat good on that point. It would be rude to keep Georgie and Abbey worrying.

“I don’t like all humans, you empty head. But do you think they have any candy? I can’t smell any.” I sniff around, trying to identify anything good.

“I don’t smell anything sweet either? Ah so boring.” Amar yawns.

I agree. What sort of trick or treat is this without and treats?!

“Let’s wait a little bit, maybe they have more human friends and stuff. ” I feel like ears twitching beneath my hood. Back up. A base camp. More toys and supplies to play with!

“Okay dokey.” the little mummy agrees, nodding his head in understanding.

After all humans have plenty of fun toys at the very least. Something about this magical Halloween town world makes time run oddly, and everything seems to be centuries back in the past.

Being as small as I am, I don’t have many official minions. Of the two that I do have, Amar may the slightly brighter of them. That’s not saying much when the other one is…..oh no.

Ice slowly forms their trails, following in on the vehicle, causing to rumble and slide. In the dark against the brightness of the moon, a tiny tubby silhouette howls in imitation. The vague shape of a mochi, with barely the hint of the pointy long ears, just hidden in the shadows.

“Listen up evildoers! You took my sidekicks and I can’t let you! In the name of Halloween and my awesome and the moon, I will…PUNISH YOU!!!” it shouts, jumping down in an icy slide of crashing destruction.

“Lukas no! To the side, go around!” I scream, fearing for my life like a bowling pin fears the ball.

“Get down, Rosa.”

The little mummy pushes me down the cage, tying us steady with his linen wraps. The more he uses, the more of the bare skin on his dark wrists and soft face gets revealed from under there. The cloth on his arms running thin as they seatbelt and cushion us against the unstoppable undying force that is Lukas.

“Whooopppeee!!!” goes a patchwork Frankenstein blue mochi, sliding headfirst like a car crash. His wide grey eyes as bright as any headlights.

Which he absolutely is, a battering ram of a car crash. No lie. It’s just how Lukas was made.

Full darkness. Multiple screams. A flash freeze and more than a few freshly bled humans scenting the air.

Motion sickness has me dizzy, so much so I feel like I’m floating in the air. Even in this mummy wrapped cage. It’s actually pretty comfy in here now if only we weren’t spinning so much. Are we still spinning? Or just swinging? Bleh, don’t mind me, just need to catch my breath after all that screaming.

“What are you children getting up into now?” asks a stern and tired voice, yet it sounds like all the angels that don’t exist down in our forsaken lands.

Hail Gable, the smartest, most beautiful, and jawbreakingly attractive elf ever, he can do no wrong. But couldn’t Gable have inputted his Franken monster nephew with a better brain?!

Blessed be Gable for making Lukas so all-purpose resistant after reanimating him. This slightly larger minion of mine only brought from life to unlife in something just over a century and a half ago. Sewn up from dismembered kiddy elf parts, mostly frozen, and magically zapped back to icy life.

“I saved my sidekicks from getting kiddy sacked!” Lukas proclaims, smiling brightly. .

“I believe the term you’re looking for is kidnapped. Lukas. Where is the rest of you?” Gable sighs, looking splendid even through the parental stress.

The problem is that it’s just Lukas’s head he’s talking to. No really. His head flew off the rest of him from his own crash, right where the staples and thread keeping him together torn up. In fact, Amar and I watch the show that is the headless Lukas, on all fours, chasing down any screaming escaping humans.

Ah yes, as a regular human I too might be traumatized from that. How amusing, if we probably weren’t in some levels of trouble.

All I wanted was to talk to some decent humans. It’s been so long! Get a bit of news of the state of world. Maybe mooch a few snacks. Is that too much to ask!?

Apparently so.

Life is tough for a strange outsider like me. I don’t even know what I am or how I got here. Just one day, I knew I died. And before I could process anything, I was born again as a little baby. Or puppy? Or whatever vampire babies are called?

See! I have no idea what I am. Just that I’m a monster now, and I have been for the past 360 years!

“363? You’re 366 years old.” Amar counts on his little fingers.

“What did I say about reading my thoughts.” I smack the possibly brainless child.

Sheesh, one of my minions is a Frankenstein monster so stupid he doesn’t realize he’s an immortal elf that just needs to stay still and heal all his wounds. The other one is this slow little kid, but it can’t be helped with some species of undead. I’m not sure either of them got to keep their brains at times.

I know Gable has to hold to Lukas’s parts for safe keeping sometimes. Maybe’s Amar’s brain is somewhere in a jar, or wherever they keep mummy parts? I’m not sure, it’s been a long time since I learned this stuff as a human.

“I didn’t? I can’t. That’s a vampire thing isn’t it?” Amar yawns back, getting increasingly grumpier, maybe after using so much of his wraps.

“Reading minds? Yeah, but you know what I mean. Grrr I hate it when father uses it on me all the time! Or Alfonso. It’s not fair. I can’t use it on any creature too much stronger than me!” I huff, remembering the sheer struggle it is to be a powerful monster, and not know how to do anything.

Why is it so damn hard to control these innate things? I can’t even retract my own baby fangs by will yet. Thus I have this sort of permanent snaggle tooth. Quite annoying, even on a face as cute as mine.

“Sorry, your humans went kaboom.” Amar points not only to all the wreckage but the small fry bloodthirsty ghouls and creatures coming out to feast.

Somewhere Gable, and his glorious golden hair flies off to catch the other half of Lukas. I wave off all the disappointment in me. From many things and sources. Being so small. Being so useless. Not being human myself anymore. Never seeing anyone again.

That person….would be long gone. It’s been 363 years, huh?

“It’s fine. I’m just sad about snacks. Humans have the best sweets and candies. You should taste chocolate.” I pat at the confused and half bandaged kid, as if smacking the strange sadness in me away.

Yeah. I miss chocolate and stuff.

“I’m here to rescue you all! You’re welcome!” Lukas smiles and waves, attached back again. Looking very heroic on a toddler leash in Gable’s hold.

“Stupid.” I fight the strange supernatural urge to bite at him. Ruined my plots to get their base and steal all the human candy.

What? Life priorities shift around, especially when you get to be as old as I am. In monster years I’m nothing but a little baby infant. Pay me in snacks and money!

“Gable? What’s chocolate? Rosa says she followed the humans for that? Is it very yummy?” Amar raises his little hand as the cage opens up, Gable’s magic wand floating us out.

“It’s super yummy, and hey don’t put it all on me! You got grabbed too, Amar. ” I pout, trying to put on my best side for Gable.

A human male could never. Oh, such beauty, such brightness, even at night. I could swoon if I wasn’t floating by the poof of my cloak and pumpkin shorts.

“Really now, Rosalia?” he raised one of those perfect eyebrows, steel grey eyes of judgement.

Oh my little heart, even a tired glare is too much beauty for me. Who oh who made elves in the first place and made them so beautiful? Gable of course, stands above them all. Case in point, the icy quilt work mochi.

“What’s a chocolate? Is it like bacon?!” Lukas gasps, starry eyes at the human corpse remains. As if they could produce chocolate or bacon.

“I mean, it’s a sweet but you could dip bacon in chocolate.” I think back.

“That’s enough from all of you. Rosalia, you in particular shall have a long harsh talk with your family tonight, about following strangers, humans of all things, for food. ” Gable sighs at me.

It wasn’t my fault. Really. And it’s not like I followed them, they just showed up and then grabbed me! Oh this unfairness.

Perhaps at my tearful sniffles, for this little body is really so sensative, like a real child. But Gable seems to give, sighing even harder in the beautiful way of his.

“Fine. Fine, Ron’s hiding some of those blasted human substances the back pantry. I’m sure there’s plenty of his candies and ‘chocolate’ still there. Let’s just get you all back, and oh god there’s everyone to call. Oh gods of death and beyond, they’re too much alike. ”

I am too shocked at the news my own blasted grampa was hiding chocolate from me this entire time to take in much more. All these centuries?!!?

Grampa how could you! Watch out you shitty old man, watch as I munch it all!

For the first time, as Rosalia the little red riding hood, I got to have a real trick or treat. Along with all my little friends- I mean minions!!!

It was very sweet.

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Halloweentown AU mini stories

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1

Help! I have awoken in a coffin!

That’s not even the worst part!? I’m in a coffin with an undead hottie!!! What is with this alabaster carved devil?! This ruby wine hair and divine features. This, this evil! It’s giving me an aneurysm! He’s also huge, like a super giant! As if I’m a little tiny baby doll in his stupid cuddling hold and…oh.

Oh yeah.

I’m dead. Or well undead. I’ve been undead for quite a long time now and that, right there, in my nerd of a father. Yes, my father. Oh the fearful shame.

Please do not be fooled by his pretty face, sharp clothes, sharp fangs. or the sharp handsome slopes of his arms and shoulders. This is a true pureblood NERD.

“Up already Chippy? It’s hardly sundown.” golden eyes starts to open, and who needs the sun with eyes like that.

I mean, what cruel and disgusting tactics. For a vampire to use their hypnotizing looks against their own blood daughter. Which I unfortunately am.

“You don’t seem very awake, ” he chuckles, and I completely understand how hoards to females across all species would offer their hearts and souls.

I don’t approve, but I understand. Vampires. Sheesh.

“Father, the body farms. It’s harvest season and we need to start early.” I whine, sounding too much like a small animal when he rubs behind the strange shape my ears decided to take today.

Fluffy like a bat, rather than the strong pointed wolf ears as my honorable mother werewolf or grandfather the great big bad wolf. It’s a terrible cheap shot when father scratches them lazily, forcing an uncontrollable purr from somewhere inside my chest.

Oh the shame. Curse this strange body!

Ahh but that spot is so nice, ahh my head. Pat it more or else I bite your hand if you dare stop.

“That’s my girl. The farms will still be there, as they always are year after year.” he pets those long pretty piano fingers through the admittedly bright red curls that my hair has decided to take on. Impossible to deny that gene apparently.

“The farms~” I complain without sounding like it, for it is impossible when my lungs are too busy purring and making tiny almost meowing sounds.

“What trickery. To use your innate fat, furs and cuteness in order to lure others into caring for you. It can’t be helped. Not with your mother, but I suppose I’m partly to blame for indulging you all as such.” father cruelly teases, rubbing perfectly along the back of my spine to the fluffy tail I can’t retract.

Pet pet pet pet pet. Stop and I bite and claw your eyes out, I swear it. I don’t care if you can squish me to death with a finger oh great lord vampire. Some other stupid gene in me has been activated and it demands pet pets.

The devil smiles against the plush as darkness truly falls, petting me softly, somehow lulling me back to sleep. Not that hard given that I’m the monster equivalent of a toddler.

A much greater monster places sharp fangs and soft lips upon the top of my head, making me wiggle against any sense.

“Sleep little one. Papa’s here, papa’s not going anywhere.”

Well duh, we’re dead. Where we gonna go?

“Back home, to your mama. So she can truly kill us.” he maybe reads my mind, tucking me further into the comforts of the coffin.

For a split moment I shiver, perhaps in instinctive fear, but ultimately the stupid puppy part of my brain gives into the soft pets and cuddles. This strangely familiar scent registering as comforting and even parental.

How disgusting. This trickery. God damn vampires. But oh well, it just can’t be helped.

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2

Today I have errands to run! All by myself!

“Oh and this one, and that one, oh and your ribbons kyaaa so cute, so red, and don’t forget the-” a fluffy and gorgeous woman fusses across the floor all around me. Natural shining curls, diamonds dripping down a collar of her smooth neckline into a plunging dress that would be indecent if not for her luxurious fur coats.

“Mother! I have everything already, I’m fine!” I complain, feeling my ears twitch under my hood.

Today I get to walk to my beloved Gable’s house in the woods! Yaaaaaaay~

It’s also kinda sorta my grampa wolf’s house too, and my errands are to deliver the goods in my little basket to him, but who cares. I get to go see Gable!

Oh such light, such beauty. To think a gorgeous elf like that can bear living isolated, with a crazy brute like grampa as his roommate. Sure they’re best of friends and have known each other for millenniums, but still?

“Oh alright then, my ‘big’ girl.” mother pouts and says in a very embarrassing tone of voice. She ties up my red hood, laces up my shoes and checks over my basket one last time. Just like a real mother.

Which I suppose she is. It’s not her fault she gave birth to weirdo like me. Too bad so sad.

“And don’t forget to take good care of your sister.” she instructs me carefully.

“yes yes- wait WHAT?! Lily’s coming too?! No way!” I feel my knees weaken.

“Rosalia. That’s no way to speak to your twin sister. ” mother tuts a perfectly manicured claw at me.

“But she’s feral!” I stomp my feet childishly.

“Rosalia Therese Ventrella.” mother sounds absolutely serious.

“I’m not being mean I’m being right. Just look at her!” I point to the thing chewing up one of the parlor couch cushions.

A super fluffy thing. Soft, sweet, almost cherub looking is a super fluffy little dress and coat. Like that she resembles the most innocent of sheep. But I as her twin sister, who lives, sleeps and eats with her day in and day out knows the real truth.

“Yip yip! Bark! Rosa! yip!” Lilyanne pounces, falling off the couch in a great show of pathetic and cute. Puppy dog tail wagging the whole time.

That. That is my sister. Lilyanne Mariana Ventrella. Her beautiful corkscrew curls are growing in like some vintage doll, a famous old actress or manga princess whatever. Shining eyes always a little teary, as if someone had dropped poisonous belladonna in them to make them so wide and sparkling if she didn’t have them stupidly closed so often. Her little nose a tad red from bumping, but otherwise as pristine and perfect as an expensive doll.

An absolutely adorable little girl, the living toddler equivalent of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. But even wolves must once be useless puppies. And that, is my sister at her current age.

“Oh Rosalia, you know we love you very much and how well you grow. But you’re the older sister and you mustn’t rub your smarts so much my little love. You are after all, just as much a puppy. ” mother cuddles and snuggles us in one of her gruesome hugs. Scent marking us once again as if our entire lives so far wasn’t enough.

“Yip yip! Wuv mama!” Lily rubs back, looking absolutely loveable instead of the feral destructive pup I know her to be.

Have you ever seen an untrained puppy dog, too young to learn a simple trick? Yeah, that. Except way more feral!

“But how can I walk to Ga- er grampa’s house all by myself with Lilyanne in tow…you’re gonna have Alfonso follow us in bat form again aren’t you?” I pout at mother, feeling my own uncontrollable snagglefang dig a bit.

“Oh ho ho ho. Oh. No. Of course not my darling~” mother laughs in her own strange and special way.

Protest as I might, there is no way a little soft thing like me can truely fight against mother in anything. It is not that her sharp teeth and sharp claws intimidate me, or the supernatural strength hiding beneath all the finery of her gowns, not even the weird animal girl ears and tail. It’s simply because she is mother, and that alone is terrifying enough. Moms are scary.

“….fine. I’ll take Lilyanne on a walk. ” I mumble.

It is not quite enough, for Lilyanne’s sharp ears start twitching, nowhere near as red but just as fluffy as my own. Her tail wagging at a painfully whipping pace.

“Walk?! Yaaaaaaay! Yip yip yip! Walkie wit Rosa! Arwhooooooooooooo!!!!” the puppy starts howling at nothing but her own excitement.

“No Lily sweet, down my sweet girl. No howling in public. Behave and learn after your big sister, otherwise she won’t take you on future walks.” mother carefully pinches her at the back of the neck, presenting her motherly canines in a warning.

“Yip yip mama!” Lily nods, rubbing her neck and head to nuzzle and scent mother further.

Ugh. And so, we stand still to let mother fuss and fumble once again, more ribbons more checking. Yeah yeah yeah, good bye now mother.

Mother and her puppy of a favorite daughter have an awful parting as if they were going to be separated for years instead of maybe an afternoon and part of the evening. Sheesh, these wolf genes.

I think we had more than enough love bites and scent marks for life let alone the span of the morning. There’s no way any undead citizen won’t know we’re the twins of the Ventrellas. But alas mother must make it very very very clear.

Tugging Lily and her leash along, I wave mother off before she can cry and nuzzle me once more. Or worse. Lick and groom me.

Being a monster is weird.

———-

—–

3.

“Oi shitty grampa, open the door. I’m here! Alone this time.” I knock for the thousandth or whatever time.

Today is a faster trip since Lilyanne is sick, thus cannot make her walk. When did I get walking duty? Sheesh we should never get a pet.

Hello, you may me little red. I suppose enough people do. It may be because I often wear this little red hood.

It is not because of my hair. Not!

Like little red riding hood I am delivery goodies to my grandma’s house. Except I don’t have a grandmother, unless you count this really old and dried up scary vampire lady who I don’t ever really see. And thus I can’t reasonably deliver anything to get into her old rich very very very rich mansion….

Ahem that will be a plot for another day.

“Grampa!? ” I shout from the door of the invisible cabin, absolutely sure I got it right. Grampa and Gable tend to leave it visible from any illusions on my visits.

How nice of them to occasionally leave it unlocked as well.

When I open up the door, I immediately can tell something is off. For one it is far too quiet. No signs of grampa’s or even Lukas’s yelling. No Gable chasing after them in some form of threat, violence, or silent punishment. No magic bubbling and boiling. No crazy experiments or inventions going off.

I toddle my short little legs straight to grampa’s bedroom, instinct and scent leading the way.

“Grampa?” I call out, smelling something odd. Like a perfumed sachet, incense to cover something else up, a trace of magic.

“Pumpkin! What a wonderful surprise, did you miss grampapa so much!” the crazy old man calls out weakly from bed, his admittedly cute wolf ears twitching from underneath.

Which is stupid because the big bad wolf looks like the human equivalent of a military fit man in his 40s at most, and way stronger.

“Mother sent me. But you weren’t at the door. Are you being lazy or did you catch something?” I bark a bit. Hmm maybe that’s why mother had me deliver some of this stuff?

If even Lilyanne, a halfling pure blood vampire and a great big bad wolf, can fall ill. Why not grampa? He’s not ….that…old….but I guess anything can happen.

“A bit of something,” he groans buried under the covers.

“Grampa, you look really hot. Like sweaty and stuff. ” I make my way closer, the strange scent truly bothering me.

“I suppose that’s just what happens sometimes, Rosa my girl. One day you too shall understand, ah but in a very very very long time from now” he coughs roughly.

“Don’t bundle up so much, you’re going to overheat stupid dog of a grampa,” I make to tug.

“Ahahaha oh no Rosa, pumpkin, poopy-doo, grampapa is feeling chills and definitely needs to sleep it off nice and warm! Tell your mama I’ll be fine and joining her next dinner party!”

Strange, too strange.

“Oh look, Gable with his hair down!” I fake point and shout in another direction.

“What?! Where?! Gabe you said-” hook line and sinker

“Aha!” I dramatically pull at the sheets. Only to be very very very….regretful.

“Grampa….are you…wearing….a lady’s nightgown?”

“Ahhheeeem! Nightwear has no gender! ” he coughs some more.

“…..Grampa….what big….laces you have. ” I pick and pull at the intricate frills on the gown.

“All the better to feel pretty in. You tend to feel awful when you get my old age, ” he coughs even more disgustingly.

“What big…..man …boobies you have. ” I grimace, somehow unable to tear my eyes away from where the nightgown compliments best. Grampa’s well-defined abs and pectoral muscles have never been a secret, but somehow it’s made all the more….eye-catching and obvious is such an outfit.

“All the better…with training! If you train well, you too can have them! Start with 100 pushups s a day then-” he explains, grinning stupidly as if giving a lecture.

“No thank you grampa. ” I slap my mochi cheeks, feeling pain in order to cope with this.

I feel like there’s a lot of ways this can go. I feel like of I really press, keep asking and being the annoying kid that I am, I’ll find the key to this puzzle. But that some source of my common sense says I’ll really regret finding out just the same.

A pandora’s box, to open or not to open?

“Yeah ok get better and don’t be stupid. My basket will be on the kitchen table. Can I get you anything before I go home?” I pinch my nose, unwilling to smell any more of this strange perfume.

“Your love and concern are more than I could ever-” he starts dramatically tearing up, more big brown cow eyes than much werewolf.

“Okay bye shitty grampa.” I tuck him back in, silky maybe sultry woman’s nightgown and all.

I guess he likes the feeling of it? Yeah, sure. Let the old kooky wolf have some luxuries in life.

Like a decent person, not like his concerned grandkid or anything, I fill up some water and place fever-reducing tablets by his bedside. Then totter around the kitchen, checking for anything stupid like grampa leaving the stove on again or something. I deduce that Gable must be on some errand or trip, given his lack of presence. Not even a trace of his magic.

Thus I do my best to rummage and cook something easy to reheat. After all grampa is a disaster in the kitchen. And now he’s sick? How stupid of him!

I however am also a certain type of fool, because before I know it the simple little things I meant to cook to tide grampa over has turned into too much. A pot of gentle rice gruel. A savory steamed murder egg and singing mushroom pudding. Stirfry heart wilding mustard and neat bacon cabbage. Even more side dishes.

Well…at least it’s much better than anything grampa can do himself. Especially if Lukas comes back before Gable. The strange little monster taking up a room, and the adoption, way too well since day one.

For some odd reason though, I don’t think it was ever said out that Lukas is Gable’s nephew. Funny.

But everyone has their strange sad stories. Like how Lukas died in the first place. Not my place to pry.

Besides what should I care over a mere mob minion. Pfffft.

I set the tray and pour both tea and juice. Then balance it slowly back to grampa’s room.

The crazy old wolf is of course, very much awake. And grossly in tears.

“I made you food because I love Gable and I don’t want him to come back to a burnt kitchen or you dead and rotting. ” I bite and bark, trying to gently set it down next to grampa’s bedside. I’m far from being tall enough to set it down on his lap.

“….Thank you Rosalia. Grampa feels the love so much, but please don’t feel pressured anymore! I don’t want to keep you any longer,” he sobs into his claws, being way too touched by this to the point of getting so overwhelmed.

“Eat everything to get better. I’m doing the dishes you shitty old mongrel…..do you need laundry done? Is that why you’re wearing that nightgown? Did you steal it from mother? Wait no, did mother ever own anything like that….”

“Grampa loves you so much but please go home Rosa, please. ” he cries.

Aw great, now I feel awful.

Fine. Off to do the dishes and maybe find some other decent stuff for grampa to change into. Ugh the things I do for this crazy family.

“GAAAAAABBBBLE!!!! CAAAAAAPPPPP! I’M BACK! That quest you sent me on didn’t take long at all! I did super good! Praise me! And I smell bacon! Oh oh oh did you know I was gonna be so awesome and come back early and make me bacon! Oh hi Rosa!” a cute little Frankenstein monster comes bouncing through the door with all the cold and vigor of a snow storm.

Maybe because he does bring a snow storm.

I hear something vaguely like rumblings, crashing porcelain, and even dare I say it, the dirty oh so wonderfully alluring cussing mouth of Gable’s voice!

Probably all my imagination though, Gable’s not even here. I didn’t smell him, though it’s hard to smell with that strange perfume in the air.

“Did you know grampa is sick? When did you leave?” I ask the super-strength boy currently crushing my windpipe in what he calls a hug.

Meh, you get kinda used to things after a few decades. Thank goodness for my own genetic disposition otherwise affection from this cute little blue super would kill me. Oh hell, my own mother and her hugs would leave me dead. They already have!

“Like. This morning! We had lots and lots of yummy meats for breakfast and I guess veggies and figs and-” he would keep blabbering, hopefully not in any ways to cause more ripped stitched.

The supernatural flesh and blood of a frozen dead elf slowly but surely healing itself. If only Lukas would stay still long enough to let it. Which was why his blue-tinged flesh, though soft and mochi like, was covered in various stitch lines in different stages of healing.

“No way, grampa is way too sick.” I deadpan

“Cap is sick? No way….CAP I’M COMING TO SAVE YOU!!!” Lukas lifts me up high like a weight, carrying me off straight to grampa.

In the bedroom, grampa has of course not even touched his food. Somehow too weak to do so, he looks alarmingly pale and beside himself. Even before Lukas wetly tornadoes in, crashing us both on the bed with grampa.

“You’re both just…too cute and loveable.” grampa somehow sighs and cries at the same time, looking oddly melancholy even in a lacy silk night gown.

It’s really messed how much it suits him! Is this another side of grampa? Hmmm well, it is a nice material.

Alright, next time I’m forced to do gifts, grampa can have all the luxury silky ladies robes and gowns. I really am a genius.

Now open up and eat grampa, or you’re never gonna get better!

Oh how wonderful! Gable’s back! And just in time!

Huh, is Gable also sick? He’s looking very down and unwell for a gorgeous beyond belief elf. Oh dear, these oldies. Just can’t be helped.

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Pt 4?

To be continued.