I Will Disappear, Grand Duke - Chapter 75

It was a long night that she had never experienced before. Julia did not reject Fernan, who rushed to her as if he was pouring out everything he had. Everywhere he passed, the throbbing heat of passion remained like a mark.

 

 “I’ll give you everything, Julia.”

 

 “I’ll give you everything I have in this hand.”

 

 “So don’t run away again.”

 

 “I can never let you go…”

 

The last memory was the voice that Fernan intermittently kissed and whispered as if begging.

 

It was afternoon when Julia woke up.

 

Fernan, sitting in front of the table, could be seen between the views with her heavy eyes.

 

He was looking at her, neatly dressed.

 

After Julia got her body up with a groaning sound, he immediately approached her with a gown on the table.

 

As the quivering blanket slid down her legs, Fernan draped the gown over her bare shoulders.

 

He delicately tied the laces of the well-covered gown, and his face was clearer than the day before.

 

“Let’s eat first.”

 

His low-pitched voice was also sensitive. Julia put her feet on the floor without answering.

 

At the same time, the strength in her legs was lost and she almost collapsed, and Fernan caught her right away.

 

Her waist and her knees were supported by him, and he held her in his arms.

 

“I can walk alone.”

 

Although Julia murmured without her aura, Fernan sat her down at the table without replying.

 

Soon after, the servant knocked on the door saying that she had brought the meal. Fernan, who was handed the tray, put the plate down on the table.

 

Seeing him trying to feed her, Julia quietly blinked her eyes.

 

Whether he was pretending that Julia’s escape never happened from the beginning, his attitude now was very calm.

 

On the contrary, it seemed to be softer than before.

 

Julia, still with a hazy face, quietly took the food he was offering and ate it.

 

She didn’t feel like rejecting him like this.

 

“How is your body? Should I call the doctor?”

 

Julia shook her head. After the meal, Fernan did not leave and stayed by her side the whole time.

 

Because of him staying with her all day until evening, Julia didn’t have time to think alone.

 

 ‘…  Did Cedric go to the temple?’

 

Her worries about Cedric quickly rose and she shook her head, but each time Fernan caught her nerves like a ghost.

 

Looking out the window, Julia flinched as she felt his touch.

 

Fernan hugged her from behind and pressed his lips to the nape of her neck.

 

“…  Ah.”

 

Her body, which was still sensitive from last night, responded easily to even a small stimulus.

 

As Julia flinched, Fernan lifted the lip that had touched the nape of her neck and kissed her delicate jawline.

 

It was the first time Julia knew that he was a man who showed his desire so easily.

 

She didn’t know the details of his feelings before, but at least he was a seemingly ascetic man.

 

But last night he… Like a hungry beast, he longed for her and devoured her endlessly. A groaning voice that could not be suppressed and leaked out.  Eyes looking down at her as if yearning for her.

 

Julia bit her lip as she felt all her senses of last night were revived.

 

Was this what he wanted?  If it was his purpose to get rid of her soul so she couldn’t think like this, he was perfectly successful.

 

Because right now, Julia couldn’t think of anything.

 

***

 

“Your Majesty, the priest wandered around the territory and returned to the Temple of Ilion only last night.  Shall we keep watching?”

 

At dawn, Fernan, leaning back against the lobby pillar, tried to cool down.

 

He narrowed his brow and answered.

 

“Do that. If he shows any signs of coming here, report it immediately.”

 

“Yes, my lord.”

 

Fernan, who climbed the stairs with the knight behind, recalled the scene of that day.

 

Julia was blocking his way and trying to protect the priest. Her voice was tearful, saying, “I’ll be by your side, so let him go.”

 

Fernan, biting his lips, paused for a moment.  His heart began to pound violently.

 

Barely holding down his boiling heart, he headed to Julia’s bedroom.

 

It was still early in the morning.  The sky, which had just begun to dawn, was gradually getting brighter.

 

When he entered the bedroom with as little noise as possible, he saw a woman sleeping soundly.

 

He sat down on the chair next to her bed and stared at Julia.

 

Long, thin eyelashes set under the round, pretty forehead. A small high nose bridge and red lips.

 

He put everything in his eyes one by one, then reached out and ruffled her hair. The day before he greedily touched and devoured her, he still felt something wasn’t fulfilled.

 

Maybe it was because Julia wasn’t really with him.

 

He couldn’t be sure of Julia’s heart at all now.

 

Even if she did not reject him, even if she seemed to accept him, it was difficult to believe her sincerity. Because Julia always disappeared while he was careless.

 

His anxious and restless mood did not go away in any way.  Even if she was in his hand like this, she seemed far away.

 

He knew that expecting Julia to open her heart to him was too greedy.

 

Because he was blocking her path again, using the person she cherished.

 

 

Then, Julia… She was forcing herself to endure it.

 

Probably, she hated him (Fernan) insanely, but she was worried about that priest’s safety, so she couldn’t say hateful words or reject him.(Fernan)

 

“…  Do you love him?”

 

Fernan asked the sleeping woman. He knew the answer would never come back. If Julia answered yes, he was not confident that he would not kill the priest.

 

And if that happened, Julia wouldn’t force herself to stay with him any longer. So it was a question he would never ask when she was awake.

 

Fernan, who had been stroking her light hair, lowered her hand, and wiped her swollen lower lip.

 

“If I asked you to love me again, what would you say?”

 

“…  ”

 

“Are you going to tell me you’ll do it, even if it’s empty words?”

 

He muttered endlessly, and for a moment raised his lips miserably.

 

Then he took his hand from her lips and lowered his head deeply.

 

Just before he kissed her, he looked at her closed eyelids for a moment, then he lowered his lips lightly.

 

It was a simple kiss with only lips touching, but at the end there was a weak obsession that could not be hidden.

 

The next day, standing in front of the terrace railing, Julia looked into the air and blinked her eyes.

 

It seemed that her heart was empty, and that she was just calm.

 

“Julia.”

 

Then a familiar voice was heard.  When Julia turned, Fernan entered the terrace and approached her.

 

He asked quietly, draping her thin cardigan over her shoulders.

 

“How about going to the sea today?”

 

“…  ”

 

“We were supposed to go together the other day.”

 

At that moment, Julia turned her head and looked at the scenery beyond the terrace.  The expansive blue sea immediately caught her eye.

 

When Julia did not respond, he added

 

“Or you can go to the meadow and ride your horse.”

 

“…  ”

 

“Your white horse was also brought here a while ago.”

 

Julia did not respond to the continued words.

 

After looking only at the distant sea, she answered in a calm voice.

 

“Do whatever His Highness wants, because I don’t care.”

 

She didn’t feel like doing anything right now.

 

For the past few days, Julia followed his lead, and after a while, she quietly returned to her place, repeating the same day.

 

Fernan stood there with a distant look on his face, then took a step closer to her.

 

“Tell me what you want.  It’s okay even if it’s trivial.”

 

“There’s nothing.”

 

“Then I will bring the children. I’ll bring them to this area so you can meet often……  ”

 

“No.”

 

At that moment, Julia, who had completely turned around, looked up at him.

 

“Even if you don’t do anything, I won’t leave. So don’t bring the children in.”

 

Julia turned to look out the window again, thinking that Cedric was enough for her to be a hostage.

 

Fernan stood frozen for a moment and looked at her back.

 

Then she stood there as if she would never look back at him again, and he grabbed her arm and turned her around.  Looking into her empty blue eyes, he frowned as if he didn’t know what to say.

 

“If there’s nothing you want to do, then tell me what you want.”

 

“…  ”

 

“Whether it’s mines, estates, or wealth, I’ll give you everything, so be extravagant.”

 

At his anxious words, Julia thought for a moment while avoiding his gaze. Does she have anything she wants?

 

But it was concluded that there was nothing. She already had everything she needed in this mansion.

 

“Just tell me what His Highness wants from me.”

 

Julia slowly lowered her eyelids.

 

“I just need to be calm and be trapped here.”

 

Having said that, Julia raised her gaze again, and she stared intently at the man who could hardly hide his expression.

 

“So, as you have done so far….”

 

Julia, who was muttering like a machine, stopped her speech for a moment.  She then looked into the eyes of the man who was right in front of her nose.

 

Her slightly gaping lips were swallowed as it was, along with the words she couldn’t connect.

 

Fernan lowered his head to her deeply, covering her cheeks and the nape of her neck completely.