I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick - Chapter 53

With his plans to kick back, relax, and just train for around fourteen hours ruined, Wu meandered around Konoha with no clear destination. He was tempted to visit Kaia, but the last time he went to the Inuzuka Compound, her mother insinuated that he should basically ‘breed’ her on the spot.

While Wu wasn’t so attached to physical appearances that he would shun Kaia for her boyishness, pushing her down and taking her from behind like a dog wasn’t at the top of his ‘to-do’ list. He imagined he would, at some point, but he didn’t like being pressured into doing something without any clear, tangible benefits. Some might consider the act of fucking a tangible benefit, but, as someone with several options, Wu would be ‘giving’ a lot more than he received in such a situation…

Pulling a shiny golden Ryo from his Storage Pouch, Wu gave it a quick flip to decide his fate. If it landed with the date stamp up, he would surprise Tenten by spending the day with her parents, helping out around the store until she returned from training. If it landed with the date stamp down, he would bite the bullet and visit the Inuzuka Clan Compound, albeit with the intent of ‘just’ visiting. Either way, he would be heading to Yakiniku Q before anything else.

Flipping the gold coin unnecessarily high into the air, high enough that a normal person wouldn’t even be able to see it, Wu’s expression morphed into a flawless deadpan when a fucking crow swooped in out of nowhere and snatched it out of the air.

“…”

Resisting the temptation to chase after and beat the shit out of the crow, Wu put his hands into his pockets and silently made his way to Yakiniku Q. As for where he would head after that? Well, technically speaking, the coin never landed. He could flip another, but he decided he might as well see what fate had in store, passing much of the remaining day wandering around without a purpose…

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After idling about in Wu’s room for several hours, even taking a nap at one point, Tsunade inferred she was being ‘ghosted.’ She was tempted to wait around until Wu returned, just to spite the little brat for daring to reject her for some snot-nosed lasses, but she figured that would be too petty, even for her.

With several hours to cool her head and at least ‘attempt’ to view things from Wu’s viewpoint, Tsunade could see how her request was just a ‘little’ unfair. She also understood that her attempts to avoid responsibility were the direct cause of the current situation.

No matter how she looked at it, Tsunade knew that Wu had been doing her a pretty massive favor by accepting Hiruzen’s proposal. Because of her most recent attempts to avoid her responsibilities, she had basically forced the matter. Wu allowing her to use ‘his’ women as surrogates was probably the best possible outcome, given the circumstances. However, instead of being grateful for his sacrifice, Tsunade had wanted him to give up even more just to protect her ‘pride’ as a woman.

While pride was undoubtedly important, Tsunade was well aware that she had thrown away her dignity and several other things throughout her long depression. For twenty-five years, she had drowned her misery in alcohol, consumed countless drugs, used her body to get her way, and gambled with such wanton indifference that she had bankrupted one of the most affluent Clans in the world. With all that in her ledger, not to mention the veritable mountain of ‘baggage’ she carried, did she even have the ‘right’ to be prideful?

Exhaling a sigh, Tsunade removed Wu’s shirt before tossing it onto his bed and making her way, buck naked, to the bathroom. Along the way, she passed by a standing mirror, something Wu often used to check the condition of his body. Upon seeing her reflection, Tsunade did much the same, once again awed by the disparity between her present appearance and the wrinkled ‘husk’ she once was…

Despite her healthy complexion and the perkiness of her ass and tits, three things most women would have been exceptionally grateful to possess, Tsunade couldn’t help exhaling a frustrated sigh, muttering, “God dammit…” before turning away from the mirror and making her way into the bathroom…

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After meandering about for most of the day, Wu returned to the Sarutobi Estate, believing not even Tsunade could be obstinate enough to wait an entire day just to spite him. When he didn’t immediately sense her Chakra, a gratified smile developed across Wu’s face until he noticed that Hiruzen was actually home.

While it wasn’t uncommon for Hiruzen to be in his own house, the elderly Kage was usually busy until late in the evening. He seldom came home early, and when he did, it was generally because they needed to discuss something. The servant standing near the entrance, clearly waiting for his arrival, further confirmed Wu’s suspicions.

Without giving the servant a chance to greet him, Wu raised his hand and said, “Yeah, yeah. I know. Thanks for coming out to wait. I’ll go see him in a moment.”

Bowing respectfully, the aging servant responded with a polite, “Have a good evening, Young Master.” before returning to her other duties. As for Wu, he made a short stop at his room to see if Tsunade had bothered to clean up after herself(she didn’t) before making his way over to Hiruzen’s study. There, he found the old man without his hat, a ‘teasing’ smile on his face as he nursed a wooden pipe packed with much more than tobacco.

Seeing the look on the man’s face, a look of disbelief marred Wu’s as he asked, “She actually said yes…?”

Nodding his head in affirmation, Hiruzen mused, “She didn’t seem all that enthused by the notion, but she brought the marriage contract and Clan Registration Form over to the Council a few hours ago. Congratulations, Wu-kun. I don’t imagine things will be easy for you moving forward, but you’ve managed to succeed where countless other men have failed. All you need to do is sign and stamp this paperwork, and Senju Tsunade will be your lawfully wedded wife…”

Pushing the papers toward Wu, Hiruzen was amused to see the boy just staring at them with a blank expression on his face. He had heard about what occurred the previous day and was aware that Wu had been kicked out of his room later that night. He didn’t know the ‘specifics’ of what had occurred, but he didn’t find it any less amusing to see someone like Wu at a loss. Gods knew he could use a bit of humbling…

After recovering from his genuine yet excessively prolonged stupor, Wu sat down in front of Hiruzen, asking, “And she didn’t say anything about the ‘ultimatum’ she gave me? I’m not signing this paperwork if she thinks, even for a moment, that I’m going to simply ‘give up’ my other women for her…”

Though he blinked in surprise, Hiruzen didn’t hesitate to shake his head, answering, “As far as I’m aware, she was consenting to the proposal we discussed previously. At the very least, that’s how she made it appear to the Council. I’m afraid you’ll need to discuss the-”

Before Hiruzen could finish speaking, Wu pricked his thumb and stamped each document. So long as Tsunade didn’t inform the Council that he was prohibited from marrying other women, he didn’t need to worry too much about the potential backlash. If push came to shove, he could just divorce the temperamental Senju and move on with his life.

Seeing how quickly Wu proffered forth his thumbprint, an amused chuckle emanated from Hiruzen’s throat. He honestly couldn’t blame Wu for being just a little enthusiastic. If he were fifty years younger and didn’t have any attachments to life, he might have tried approaching Tsunade himself…

Interrupting Hiruzen’s daydreaming, Wu gave the man a skeptical look as he questioned, “So, what now? Do I just mosey on over to the Senju Clan Compound and make myself at home…?”

Supplying a slight nod, Hiruzen answered, “Now that you have signed the paperwork, it is as much your home as Tsunade’s. Just know that you will always have a place here if you ever need to ‘escape’ or cool your head. I will instruct the cleaning staff to leave your room untouched.”

Returning a nod of his own, Wu’s expression and tone softened as he replied, “Thanks, Jiji. I appreciate it.” with a smile. Then, without any real expectations about what was to come, he returned to his room, packed up some of his personal effects, and made his way over to the Senju Clan Compound, the largest Estate in all of Konoha. It had fallen into a state of disrepair after twenty-some-odd years of neglect, but it was still regarded as the most prestigious and historic location in the village…

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Though she had consumed nearly a liter of alcohol to calm her nerves, Tsunade’s legs were twitching like someone with restless leg syndrome as she ‘patiently’ waited for Wu to arrive. As more and more time passed, her desire to rush out and tear up the documents compounded. However, as she couldn’t think of a better ‘resolution’ to the circumstances she had created, she remained seated, glaring at the entrance to the main house with a massive bottle of cheap sake in hand.

Fortunately, just as the sun had finished its descent over the horizon, Wu appeared on the path leading to the entrance. Tsunade’s body tensed as she saw him, but she managed to calm herself by chugging nearly a third 4.5L bottle. Her metabolism and tolerance blew most people’s out of the water, so even though the sake had an alcohol content of 16%, she didn’t stumble while attempting to climb to her feet. She did, however, have the ruddy complexion and demeanor of a drunk as she said, “It’s about damn time you showed up, brat…”

Blinking in feigned surprise, Wu pointed to himself and asked, “Could you be talking about me?”

Furrowing her brows, Tsunade pointedly remarked, “I don’t see any other brats around, do you?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu calmly pointed out, “Well, you’re married to this brat. I’m glad you changed your mind, by the way. I’m not ashamed to admit I spent most of the day just wandering around and feeling lost after what happened this morning…”

Though she was initially planning to continue arguing for a bit, Tsunade blinked in surprise and asked, “Seriously…?” in a disbelieving tone. She hadn’t spent that much time with Wu over the past year, but she couldn’t imagine him wandering around in low spirits.

Shrugging a second time, Wu allowed Tsunade to jump to reach her own conclusion on the matter. If she asked around, it would be pretty easy to confirm he had been wandering around the entire day. He just wasn’t in a depressive state while doing so. It might have looked that way to others, but the truth of the matter was that he was simply bored.

Reading into Wu’s silence, Tsunade took a shallow breath before exhaling a tired sigh. She knew Wu wasn’t a fragile boy who needed coddling, but it was hard to deny that she wasn’t taking advantage of him. If not for the peach he had given her, this would be a ‘very’ dubious situation…

Though it was probably a little too late to be asking such things, the glare on Tsunade’s face visibly softened as she asked, “Are you sure about this, kid? It isn’t too-”

Before Tsunade could finish speaking, Wu’s expression and tone became firm as he said, “Tell me what I need to do to convince you I’m serious. I can’t make you my only woman, but I’m willing to do just about anything else. Just name it.”

“…”

Forcing herself to remain calm, Tsunade took several deep breaths before surprising Wu as she calmly replied, “You don’t have to do anything, kid. I wouldn’t even have this ‘opportunity,’ much less this body, if it weren’t for you. I’m not sure how things will work out, but I’ll at least try to abide you having other women. Just…”

Narrowing her eyes into a serious expression, Tsunade added, “Just don’t expect me to play second fiddle to anyone. You’re ‘my’ husband. I expect you to take that seriously…”

Since Tsunade wasn’t explicitly asking him to do anything, Wu nodded his head, maintaining his ‘serious’ expression as he answered, “I swear it…” in a deep, earnest-sounding tone.

Seeing no trances of falsity or deception in Wu’s gaze, Tsunade exhaled her most prominent sight yet, even going so far as to cradle her forehead as she muttered, “I can’t believe I’m about to do this…”

Before Wu could ask what she meant, Tsunade regained her intense look, glaring at him as she said, “Get inside. I have no intention of planning any ceremony, so we’ll consummate the marriage directly. This is also your chance to prove to me you aren’t ‘just’ a brat, so I expect you to put some effort into it…”

Though he would have refused two days prior, Tenten’s ‘permission’ to do as he pleased compelled Wu to narrow his eyes, a mischievous smile on his face as he asserted, “Trust me…you won’t be disappointed…”

Unaware that Wu was still a virgin, Tsunade snorted through her nose, half-turning as she said, “Don’t compare me to those little brats you’ve been playing with…” before turning around fully and leading the way into the manor. The Senju Clan’s financial plight meant she couldn’t afford any servants, so the only people living within the 40-room castle were herself, Shizune, and her pet pig, Tonton. As a result, the interior felt like a haunted manor, a notion that brought a devilish smile to Wu’s face as he had every intention of making Tsunade scream…

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(A/N: This…this was unexpected…*sweating intensifies*)