I’d Give Up The World For You - Chapter 214

Was it even possible to be in a relationship with a person like Leo long-term without things falling apart? After finding out about his family and that Daisy was all he had she had been concerned that without her to depend on he would be suicidal.

He never said she was the only thing he had to live for specifically but it was kind of obvious based on his actions. That was incredibly concerning.

She didn’t want to have someone else’s life in her hands! Especially not someone she cared about. That was a lot of pressure and if she did something wrong someday it might push him over the edge.

Daisy had done some research about PTSD after he found out that was officially his diagnosis and it wasn’t encouraging. People with PTSD had a high suicide risk and the statistics weren’t pretty. Over 65% of children exposed to a traumatic event would attempt suicide at least once in their lifetime. PTSD-related suicide was also the tenth leading cause of death in the United States.

Leo had only been twelve when he saw his entire family get murdered in front of him. There was a solid chance he had tried to kill himself already.

Her stomach clenched even thinking about it. She absolutely did not want him to die.

When his homework was done and they went to bed she lay awake thinking about it as she gazed into his sleeping face. He had her trapped pretty good earlier but since falling asleep his grip had loosened a bit so she was able to free a hand in order to caress his face.

‘You aren’t allowed to die, Leo!’ Daisy thought fiercely. ‘Even if I do have to take care of you indefinitely!’

She meant it too. She didn’t want to commit romantically until he was doing better but deep down she had already decided that she wouldn’t be the first to leave in order to protect herself. She was going to stick things out to the bitter end because she cared about him too much.

But since she had made that decision was there really a point in putting things off? She hadn’t wanted to like him either but she did. She liked him, she wanted to keep him around, and she very much enjoyed the limited physical aspects of their relationship.

It would make him so happy too. If she agreed to be his girlfriend now wouldn’t that motivate him to carry on with therapy even though he clearly hated it?

Daisy didn’t want to feel responsible for another person but since that had happened anyway she may as well go all in. Knowing she would regret this before she even said anything, she tried her best to fall asleep.

Leo still had a few papers and tests this week so she didn’t want to say anything until Saturday so she wouldn’t distract him. It was a very long few days of waiting. She was nervous despite knowing how thrilled he would be since she had never gotten into a relationship with someone so complicated before. Or someone she cared about so much.

If things fell apart here, neither of them would ever recover. Making herself vulnerable like this threatened to choke her but she knew it needed to be done.

They drove up to Hocking Hills early after Daisy made them sandwiches on the homemade bread Leo liked so much, packing some grapes, chips, and cookies she had made as well. He insisted on carrying the backpack holding their lunches and water bottles once they got there and she wasn’t about to argue. Wearing a backpack had long been one of her least favorite parts of hiking because of how sweaty her back got.

The sound of nature never ceased to calm Daisy. She loved being outside in the fresh air with the birds chirping and the smell of the trees all around her. With how nervous she was, it was for the best she had waited to talk to him until she was in a relaxing environment.

Leo seemed fairly relaxed as well. It seemed that he felt the same way about being outside that she did.

Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she asked, “Leo, what do you want out of this?”

“Out of what?”

“…us.”

He looked at her with slightly furrowed brows. “Don’t you already know? I want to stay with you no matter what. I’ve told you multiple times. Why do you ask?”

Daisy sighed. “That isn’t what I meant. What do you want from me specifically? Aside from staying with me. I want you to tell me the truth. Don’t skirt around what you really want because you think it might freak me out.”

“You won’t like the truth.”

“Tell me anyway!”

Now it was Leo’s turn to sigh. “Specifically? I want you to love me. I want to marry you and have a family together. And I want us to live a calm, happy life somewhere we can garden to your heart’s content. That’s what I want from you, Daisy.”

She gaped at him. He wanted to marry her when they had known each other for less than six months?!

Daisy shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was. She had known for quite a while that he was very attached to her. But attached enough to want to marry someone he hardly knew? That was a huge commitment!

“That’s a lot to ask,” she said feebly.

“I told you that you wouldn’t like the truth,” Leo mumbled. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Mad at him? How could she be mad at someone who had lost his family in such a horrible way for wanting another one? Even if it was ridiculous that he wanted it with her without truly knowing her.

Daisy met his eyes and saw the anxiety in them. He was afraid she was going to reject him again. Her heart twisted. She might not be ready for that anytime soon—or ever—but there was something she could do for him. All she needed to do was explain herself properly.

“I’m not mad at you, Leo. Families aren’t really my thing because mine was such a wreck but it isn’t a bad thing that you want one. I’m not ready for that. I like you…a lot actually…but I don’t love you yet.

“I care about you and I want to be with you but we both have a lot of baggage to deal with. I can’t make any promises about the long-term future but I can be your girlfriend for now. We can take things as they come, okay?”

Leo was crying again but he was grinning at the same time. He picked her up and swung her around in delight.

“Thank you, Daisy!”

Again with thanking her for things he shouldn’t be thanking her for! It made her feel like a horrible person every time. But she couldn’t feel that way for long with how happy he was. He set her down and kissed her so deeply that her knees went weak.

“Leo,” Daisy hissed. “Not in public!”

“There isn’t anyone around though,” he pointed out.

“It’s a matter of principle.”

“If you insist. But you’re all mine when we get home.”

He took her hand and continued hiking with an aura of uncontained joy around him while she followed with her legs feeling like jelly. That seemed like both a promise and a threat but not at all one she minded.

Daisy spent the rest of the day stunned by her normally depressed boyfriend’s cheerfulness. Right now he seemed like the happiest person in the world and the mood carried on for days. Even therapy the next week didn’t get him down as much as usual. She hadn’t expected what she said to make that much of a difference!

Having Leo as a boyfriend compared to whatever weirdness he had been before wasn’t much of a shift aside from that. His physical affection had gone up, as she had expected, but she wasn’t complaining.

It was rather nice to be loved. None of her other boyfriends had ever been as sweet or gentle or simply as happy to be with her as he was.

He made her feel cherished and that was a new experience. Granted, he had before they were official too, but she felt guilty about it because she wasn’t reciprocating as much as he wanted. She still wasn’t considering he wanted to marry her but at least they had a label on them now.

Maybe they would get there someday. They had an awfully long way to go though.

Daisy had never wanted to get married or have a family after what she had been through with her mom and the foster system in general. Now there was someone who wanted that with her who happened to be rather traumatized. It was more than a little overwhelming.

But if he was willing to keep trying to get better she could try to get over her hang-ups about families too. They were supposed to be a team now. Daisy and Leo against the world instead of Daisy and her plants against the world.. That would take some serious getting used to since she had been on her own for so long but in a way she had already been doing that by taking care of him and letting him stay with her. Everything would be fine…wouldn’t it?